Gaming Update - Now with half the calories and twice the flavor!

Imagine this gaming update as one giant, delicious, freshly baked cookie that you can take your sweet, sweet time devouring.  Maybe it has chocolate chips.  Maybe white chocolate.  Maybe M&M's.  Just no damned raisins, thank you.  Now go ahead.  Take a bite.  You know you want to.

What I'm Playing:

• Tiger Woods 10 is all-consuming, all-knowing, and all-powerful.  Yes, it's light on a whole lot of features, but seriously, this is the most polished version of TW yet, and I think I'll be satisfied with it for a couple of years.  If you ever meet the created Zen master of +14 rounds (damn those par 3's on the Play the Pro tournaments!) known as Chin Feng, be warned - he has a mean chip shot.  It's just too bad I always have to follow up the chips with, oh, five or so putts.  But you know what TW needs?  Zombie golf.  Imagine a fairway full of mumbling, half-eaten zombie types, and you get points for however many you hit within a certain amount of time.  Hell, that's just the tip of the iceberg for zombie mini-games.  Golf cart rampages, anyone?
  • I picked up Devil Survivor for the DS this week, and let me tell you - it's strategy RPG joy-tastic.  It's a teensy-weensy bit light on environments, but it's a hell of a good story and a very solid SRPG game.  Fans of Disgaea, Final Fantasy Tactics, or Giant Bomb's very own Endurance Run may want to take it out for dinner and a few drinks. 
• The Sims 3 works beautifully on my computer.  A friend sent me a copy as a belated b-day gift, which was way too generous of a gift for this mean, old, cantankerous bastard.  I'm still getting into it lightly, but the more I play, the more I like.  I'm still trying to figure out a few of the intricacies, like if I create two Sims in different family trees, can they interact with each other?  Or are they like seperate game worlds?  One of my fondest things to do in the original Sims was to create a few different households for friends and family.  Anyways, the Sims 3 looks to be a hell of a lot of fun.
• For those of you Worm-ites out there, Worms 2 Armageddon should be released on XBLA this week.  When it comes out, you'll notice me stopping any sort of other gaming for about, oh, three months.  When Armageddon first came out on the PC, I was like a junkie being given the keys to an LA county evidence locker.  I was in heaven.  The Worms games are pure strategic bliss, and I'm looking forward to all the additional weapons and landscapes.

What I'm Thinking:

• Good God, I wish game consoles had less cords, or that I could hire some kind of professional to come in and rework my setup.  At one point, I'd thought about buying another TV for my bedroom, so it might eventually work itself out if I move one of them, but still - three consoles hooked up to one CRTV is bad news.
• While I love the remake and re-releases of games like Monkey Island, I want more!  There's a huge back catalogue of games out there that deserve new games or updates, so hopefully we'll see more of this in the future.  In the meantime, I want to see more releases on all three consoles of decent games from their older libraries.
• IGN recently released a great list of their top 25 picks for the Wii.  I recommend all the Wii-haters out there read it, because this really is a great list of games.  I don't agree with Conduit being on the list, but other than that, I've played most of the games, and they're all a blast.
• Still have yet to download the Tex Murphy games from GOG?  Do it.  Do it now!  Download them!   You know you want to!

That's all for this week.  Here's your slow-broiled, honey-glazed question of the week: which gaming mascot would you want to punch in the face and why?