I Finished Metroid Dread and All I got was a Longer Backlog

A note from your humble author up top: I'm skipping the Prime series in my reminiscing for the sake of this article, mostly because those games just occupy a completely different part of my brain. Yeah they both have Metroid in the title, and yeah they do both have a certain amount of search versus action in them, but if you say "Metroid" to me I think of the 2D games and not the FPS.

Dark Confessions of a Fake Metroid Fan

The first time I saw a Metroid game was, you will be surprised to find out, decidedly not the original NES release. See, I didn't get an NES of my own until after the release of the SNES (I think it was 1992 or 1993?), and all my friends (whose familes were both more relaxed about the whole video games thing and had more money) had SNESes or Geneses (Genesisis? Genisys?), so my NES library consisted of "stuff I saw at my cousins' house" and "stuff I could get on the cheap at garage sales/Funcoland." Somehow, Metroid was never in there.

One of the neighborhood kids I was friends with, however, did have a Game Boy, and he also got a shiny new copy of Metroid 2: Return of Samus. It was a very weird one - we couldn't quite wrap our heads around what the fuck was going on (we did not read the manual, I think. We were like six years old and while I might've been an avid reader, that did not extend to video game manuals just yet), but it was undeniably cool.

Somehow, aka we were kids with a lot of free time, we managed to get through the whole thing at some point. I think, anyway - we definitely stopped playing it, I can say that with confidence! I remember killing a lot of big metroids, and also trying to figure out where the fuck to go next, which I guess is the entire game.

I didn't play the original Metroid at all until much later, when I had NESticle on the PC we affectionately referred to as "Frankenputer" that we'd, true to the name, built out of parts pulled from various dead PCs and a cheap 333mhz Intel Celeron we picked up at the local Microcenter. I thought it was fine, but I never beat that either.

Super Metroid, while the high-water mark and Canonical Metroid Experience to some, barely existed as far as I was concerned for a shockingly long time. I mean obviously I knew about it, might've even seen it at a buddy's house (might've even seen the end) but I'm not 100% sure, but I think the first time I played it myself I was in college playing it on my shitty laptop. Now here's the thing: by the time I did this, I'd already picked up and played rather extensively (I think on the strength of a Game Informer review) Metroid Fusion. If we're gonna talk Metroid games that really fuckin' became The Metroid Game of Record, to me, it's gonna be that. This is mostly because it was like the first of them that I really sat down and Spent Time With.

Anyway, here's a sort of chronological but not really list of the 2d Metroids, how far I've gotten in them, and the likelihood I'll ever get around to finishing them (or, if I've finished them, the likelihood I'm going to play them again). This is because I (spoilers for the Metroid Dread section) finally beat Metroid Dread this past weekend because I both really like that game and also if I didn't finish it before Metroid Ravenous came out I was going to feel really bad about buying Metroid Ravenous..

Metroid (you know, the first one)

I think this is neat. I also think that it uses passwords instead of a save, so guess who's really never beating this one legit? It starts off strong as hell and hey guess what it kinda stays strong as hell for the entirety of the time I've spent with it. The only problem is that there's a better version of this game available. The lack of a map really hurts this one because the world is big and also kind of maze-like by design, although you can pretty well memorize where you're going if you spend enough time playing it. I have not spent enough time playing it, and I also keep forgetting to save state when I stop playing in emulators, so I will never beat this one.

There's something to it, is the thing. You can see everything the series would become, because it makes some pretty crucial decisions: you start out with very little in the way of equipment, gain more equipment at a pretty reasonable clip, and by the end you are a real murder machine! Along the way you fight Ridley, who will show up and be a pain in the ass, and maybe you'll shoot some missiles into Mother Brain. I don't remember if the planet blows up at the end but I vaguely remember Brad beating it on a stream (I think on this site in the runup to Dread's release?) and I also vaguely remember the planet blowing up at the end.

Backlog Status

Nah I'm not gonna bother. Like I said, there's a better version which feels more like the Metroid I have come to love out there, so I'm plenty happy with it as it is. It's something I'll pick up and run around in on a lark for like 20 minutes or an hour and then stop and forget to make a save state so I start from zero next time I get the urge.

Metroid Zero Mission's Pretty Good

Damn all they do these days is remake old video games, am I right? This is the first Metroid game I acutally sat down and finished under my own steam, and I only did it in the last like decade I think. On a Surface tablet I'd synced a controller to, no less! I can't remember what got me to sit down and do the damn thing, it might've been AM2R's release that got me to think "I should play a Metroid" but I have even less of an idea why I decided on Zero Mission. I think having messed around with AM2R's take on Metroid II I found myself thinking "I bet a remake of the NES Metroid would go down real nice."

Which hey, turns out it did. Zero Mission's design is slick as hell! Movement feels great, which is to say it feels exactly like it does in Metroid Fusion, and I am an enormous sucker for good pixels. Zero Mission's got them good pixels, y'all. It's got them in spades. It fleshes out the original Metroid in a way that (almost) never feels like too much and hey, adding in a map and such sure as shit doesn't hurt, right? There's also a little more handholding in terms of navigation, as the game will usually mark something on your map to point you in the direction of where to go next. This comes from its predecessor, Metroid Fusion, which we'll get to, and might not be a move people are fans of. It also has the Zero Suit section which if I am being honest, I didn't need, man. It was longer than it needed to be and I did not have a great time with that, although they give you a pretty good payoff in that you get to absolutely beat ass once you recover your Power Suit. Or get your new Power Suit, I guess is what actually happens. Ask me anything about Metroid Lore.

Backlog Status

I beat this one! I have a (totally legitimate and not a repro I swear it just so happened to be super cheap) cart of this one that I picked up on ebay back when I first got my Pocket that I have yet to put any serious time into, but I think whenever I finish up Fusion I will probably just get a save going on this one for the hell of it. Just to keep my eye in, you know? It's also short - even with the gameplay additions - and that shit is Extremely My Jam these days.

Metroid II: What if We Gave This to Mercury Steam?

Metroid II: Samus Returns is arguably the game that sets the blueprint for how 2D Metroid is going to play, and not just because Mercury Steam now basically has the keys to the franchise. It introduces parrying, a mechanic which is... you know, I love to parry, but I hate to be forced to parry. I think it's also the first one where you can ping a room to see stuff you can blow up/screw attack through, but I might be mistaken there? I could boot up my 3DS and check, but it's all the way over on the other side of the couch from me and I don't want to move.

Samus Returns wisely does not force you to parry most of the time, and that's nice! It's also a sayonara to sprites in your handheld Metroids (I know Other M is also technically 2D and thus the first real departure from sprites, but Other M is... we'll get to it). I think, unfortunately, it kinda looks like butt ass on my 3DS compared to Metroid Dread's visuals which essentially turn me into the horny wolf from that Tex Avery cartoon. That's not really fair to say - the visuals are good for what they are, but there's also just not a lot of like... exciting scenery in this one, or at least not where I've been so far.

Hey, put this on the list of games I wish would get released on the Switch while we're at it, because the thumbstick on the 3DS is fine for some things, but you know what it's not fine for is precision platforming, at least in my opinion. Like it is not a deal breaker in terms of me finishing the game (that's me thinking that AM2R is a better remake), but still. It's a good way to like, see where the mechanics that would end up refined in Metroid Dread got their start, but I don't have much else nice to say about it. Sorry, Metroid II: Samus Returns!

Backlog Status

According to the save I just looked at, I am like 10% into this thing, and unfortunately it's been so long since I started that I legitimately could not tell you what I was supposed to be doing (I mean apart from "killing Metroids") or where I was supposed to be going next. Eventually I'll get the urge to pick this back up and pull a walkthrough up just to get pointed in the right direction, which, thanks to my absolutely abysmal memory and penchant for putting games down for years at a time, happens to me a lot with games of this ilk.

The Other Metroid II

Or I guess the original one, if you wanna say it that way. Metroid II: Return of Samus, the first Metroid I ever did see, as I already mentioned. I booted this up again just now to get another look at it and you know what, I can understand why I thought it looked amazing when I was a kid but damn if it is not just a cramped-looking mess by modern standards. You gotta place it in context though, and in context it's kind of amazing they made this thing at all. It's perhaps the most uh genocidal of the Metroids, and while I haven't talked much about the Rich Lore of the Metroid Universe, rest assured I think about it more than anyone probably should.

The thing that's so interesting about this one is not just that hey, you can save now, there's a thing you can't do in fuckin' Metroid, there's the portability of it all, the fact that it replicates the Metroid experience pretty accurately on a fuckin' tiny mono-color screen, and you know honestly the soundtrack rips. Listen to the remixes in AM2R if you dislike the Gameboy's beeps and bloops, but also consider that you are a coward and the Gameboy's beeps and bloops rock.

Backlog Status

Look, I'ma keep it a buck for you: There's no way in hell I am ever going to sit down and go through this whole thing. There's no map and there are an entire two other, better versions of this exact game out there.

The Other Other Metroid IIBut also

Okay so I did in fact, as I was writing this, grab my backup of AM2R, slap the exe into Faugus, and turns out that works. Also turns out that AM2R just feels so fucking good to play, my god. I love AM2R, it is probably the thing that got me back into Metroid in a Major Way, which is to say playing it got me to sit down and beat Metroid: Zero Mission. The music rocks, the sprites are great (I mean they're repurposed Zero Mission and Fusion sprites I think so of course they're great), and it just.... man, it just makes my fuckin' heart soar. What a beautiful work of fan-made software it is. I have no idea whether or not it is easy to find these days, but I guard my own copy like a jealous dragon upon its hoard of spoils.

It beats the shit out of Mercury Steam's take on Metroid II, I think, if only because it keeps it simpler. Mercury Steam added a lot of extra features (the parry, the scanner and other little suit abilities like the electric shield thing), which are all polished to a mirror sheen in Metroid Dread, but damn if just the more basic Metroid skill set doesn't prove more than enough for the size and design of Metroid II. Also I'm a huge sucker for 2d sprites, as I've said.

Backlog Status

I mean I just installed it, and my saves are long gone, but you better believe I intend to play through this entire game at some point. No idea when, of course, because that would involve a larger ability to plan ahead than I currently possess. I did run through the beginning and get bombs already while writing this section, though. It was for research.

Heretical Metroid Take Ahead

The movement in Super Metroid doesn't feel good to me. This is probably because the movement in Metroid Fusion feels way better, and also because I played Super Metroid on a keyboard and/or shitty Logitech PS2 controller knockoff, although going back to Super Metroid on a controller that doesn't suck did not change the experience significantly enough for me to really change my mind here. There's something about the jump, I think, that just doesn't feel right. It's slightly too floaty - when I sit down with Super Metroid, and I do sit down with it sometimes, I keep thinking "I could be playing a better Metroid than this" and that's the core of the whole problem, really.

That said, I mean, come on. I understand why people are all about this game. It's everything the first two games did blown out to enormous proportions, and it helps that it is fuckin' pretty as hell! Those are some sprites, and also the shape of literally every Metroid to come is settled here. It even gives you little flashbacks to the previous two games in the new engine, so even then I am sure people thought "damn what if they remade the first two games and made them look like this?" I sure as shit would've! The only piece it doesn't have is the abilitiease, Samus just only has her little arm cannon and nobody thinks too hard about how she emerged from Metroid II with the ability to shoot rockets and morph ball and bombs and whatnot.

Backlog Status

It's a permanent part of my backlog at this point. I've got plenty of ways to play it (my MiSTer, Switch Online, my Analogue Pocket), I just have to force myself to pick one and stick to it. I'm leaning towards Switch Online, if only because that gives me the opportunity to swap between tv and handheld which, I mean, that's part of how I was able to finally finish Metroid Dread. I had to have something nice to look at while Cyberdillo was happening on my TV, after all.

Metroid Fusion aka My Metroid of Record

This is the one, man. This is the one that properly hooked me, because it was portable but it looked like a SNES game which was still a big deal in 2002 I'll have you know! I fuckin' love this one, even though to my shame I've never actually finished the fucking thing (until NOW, maybe). It's spooky, you're getting chased by a doppleganger of you before you got stuck in a creepy biomechanical suit that I understand isn't goopy but it looks kinda goopy, right? It's not just me who thinks that? The music and environmental art is all spooky as hell, and it nails the whole feeling of being kinda screwed and having to just take a deep breath and murder the shit out of some stuff to survive. I love it! I love everything about it, it's a big "no notes" from me apart from some of the boss runs can be kinda punishing (that fuckin' spider bastard took me way too many tries to kill, and having to run back to him every time only added to my ire - but I've got the space jump now at least!) and I guess that sometimes I do get kinda lost looking for a way out of a room and then it turns out that oh, there's this little bit of pixel art on the wall that indicates you can just jump through this, actually. That's kind of also the Metroid experience though, so am I really that mad about it? No, dear reader, no I am not.

It's a good deal more talky than the other entries, which is to say Samus does a lot of monologuing on elevators while her fussy little AI tells her where she should go next. This was, in my memory anyway, kind of a controversial move for Metroid, because fuckin' nobody told you where to go in the other Metroids - you simply had to Figure That Shit Out. In my memory this was a cause for consternation among some Metroid purists, but when I dove into the Video Game History Foundation's archives to read some old magazine reviews it didn't seem to really rate comment - they were more impressed with the way the story was more brought front and center, and also that you could hang from ledges now. Which I mean hey, you hung from a ledge in a Metroid game recently? It's cool, right? Goddamn right it is! Good lord but I love Metroid Fusion.

Backlog Status

I am actively working my way to the end here - am in fact pretty close, I think? I mean I have the wave beam and power bombs which is usually the indicator that you are basically at the end of a Metroid game - I'm just missing the Screw Attack. When I played it earlier today the SA-X showed up and dusted my ass again, so I don't think I can fight it just yet. Gotta run from it at least a couple more times before I turn the tables on my weird, goopy clone. The SA-X is great!

Other M is Also Here I Guess

You know while I'm doing heretical takes, I am going to come out saying Other M is a perfectly fine game. I might even call it good, but let's not get too far over our skis here, hmm? I think they did an okay job blending the 2D/3D bits together (pointing the wiimote to enter FPS mode is a fun gimmick, at least to start with) and there's other good stuff in there too. The story sucks balls, though, especially the "you can't do this because we said so" justification for trickling out your abilities. That's just plain lazy! If you're going to insist upon an abilitiease (which obviously you would, that's become part of Metroid's DNA even though it doesn't really show up until the Prime series) at least give me a better justification than "my commander said I wasn't allowed for some reason." Grow up.

I never owned this one, choosing instead to only play it at a buddy's house who was, somehow, even more defensive of this game than I am. He just really liked the way it played and extremely does not give a shit about story in video games. That's his choice, and I respect it, but also I think there are enough other, better Metroid games to play out there.

Backlog Status

If this shows up on a Wii Online thing added to the Switch 2, I'd consider playing it. As it is, my Wii is currently sitting in a drawer in my parent's basement in Ohio, and I just don't have the inclination to fiddle around in Dolphin to play this one. It ain't never getting played, in other words. Let's just move on.

Metroid Dread, the One I Just Finished

The Game Informer review for Metroid Fusion, which I dug up because I was curious about it (fun fact: the review is what sold me on Metroid Fusion, I'm pretty sure), called it the best Metroid game ever. Now to be fair to Game Informer, at the time Metroid Dread didn't exist, so there really wasn't a question in my mind as to whether or not Metroid Fusion was the best Metroid at the time - I think that holds up! Even now, with Metroid Dread, the fucking gem, the fucking miracle that it was (remember how they tease the existence of it way back in fucking Metroid Prime?) that we got it at all, I still might actually say Fusion is better because I think Dread, like Samus Returns, adds just slightly more mechanics than I necessarily want or need.

On the other hand, I think the game looks fucking gorgeous and much like when I booted up AM2R and was like "oh my fucking god this feels so good" that is essentially what I think any time I boot up Metroid Dread. In fact, when I finally picked it back up last week, it was specifically because I'd played the Castlevania: Belmont's Revenge demo and was like "I need another game where the movement feels good like this" and Metroid Dread was right there, waiting for me. The movement feels great, and while I did just comment that it might be a little too mechanically heavy for its own good, learning all those mechanics and then using them to beat alien parasitic ass is... deeply satisfying. It also takes the horror concept from Fusion up another notch and, even more delightfully, looked at the SA-X encounters and went "yeah what if these were somehow even more terrifying though" and spat out the EMMIs. Those fuckin' robots are scary, man! My internal monologue can basically be summed up as "Laura Dern yelling 'shiiiiiit! SHIIIIIIIIIIT' while being chased by the t-rex in Jurassic Park" basically any time I had to deal with one. Then of course you do deal with them and it fuckin' feels amazing.

The story's good too! The facial acting they get out of Samus' eyes behind her visor is impressive, especially at the end where SPOILERS FOR AN OLD GAME THAT YOU KNOW IF YOU WATCHED THE METROID RAVENOUS TRAILER her Metroid DNA awakens and she's kind of freaked out but also kind of really into it. Much like I am also kind of freaked out and kind of really into the idea of letting Metroid Samus have her way with me AM I RIGHT LADIES AND GENTS?

No but seriously I think the story is good and the final boss fight is deeply fuckin' satisfying (and also hard as hell, I used a turbo button to dump plasma into Raven Beak's fuckin' dumb face because the missiles, while effective, were too fiddly for me to aim with. Not a fault of the controls, but a fault of my shaking, sweating hands. I still bashed my head against the fight for like two hours).

Backlog Status

Finished, which was kind of the genesis for this whole rambling mess of an article! Yet I was, and still am, tempted to just... roll right into a New Game+ for this one! If not for the fact that I've got all these other fuckin' Metroid games sitting around unfinished, I probably would've and not even thought twice about it! As it is, I have thought once about it, and will absolutely start a fresh playthrough at some point, but I really do want to finish up Metroid Fusion while my shredded attention span is currently pointed in that direction.

I'm Ravenous for Metroids

I watched the Metroid Ravenous trailer again just now, just so you know. I won't make any grand proclamations here in terms of ranking the Metroids (we've got a whole tier list thing for that which I might engage with), but you might be able to guess how such a ranking might shake out.

It would be extremely cool if Metroid Ravenous ended up being the breakout hit that finallly gets Metroid the shine it deserves, but if I'm being honest I won't hold my breath. I think it looks really fucking cool, and I think it'll definitely end up being really cool! Unfortunately I also think there are just so many search action games running around these days (including a new Castlevania! That's out! You can play it right now, probably!) that it's damn near impossible to break through. With the somewhat sour taste of Metroid Prime 4 being the most recent thing with the Metroid name on it (five star review jokes aside), I'm just not sure how much of a promotional push Nintendo will be willing to give another Metroid game.

I mean I'm gonna play it for sure. I finished Metroid Dread specifically to do that! Maybe I will even finish some other Metroids before this thing lands, but knowing me I wouldn't hold my breath for anything beyond Fusion - which like I keep saying, partially because it is true and partially to back myself into a corner, I will definitely finish sometime in the near future. To suddenly pivot to a wider point, with the modern AAA space looking increasingly doomed, I reckon having a bunch of Metroid games in my backlog is probably a good thing.