Kobayashi Mario Goes Hawaiian (Part Three - The Bonus Set)

You'd think I'd be sick of Super Mario Sunshine after collecting its full achievement set. Hell, conventional thinking would suggest I'd be sick of it after about an hour. Not so! What I wanted to take a bewildered glance at—before I'm all done here and the Kobayashi Mario goes on hold until I either break into the NES games or wait for Galaxy to find its way onto RetroAchievements—was the game's "Bonus" subset of glitch tech, punishingly high-level play, and other goofs and surprises.

Some of these are obnoxiously difficult to pull off, either because the lead-in takes a long while to set up or because it requires some frame-perfect bull-honkey I'm woefully unequipped to execute, so this won't be a full rundown in the traditional Kobayashi Mario manner like the first two entries of this little Italian siesta (what is the Italian for "siesta", anyway? I suspect it's just "siesta"). Instead, I'm going to get into what each of these achievements requires from the player and whether or not I was determined—or indeed patient—enough to earn it, with all the concomitant bellyaching you've come to expect of your boy Mento.

Normally, I'd use the achievement score rating to brag about my trivial accomplishments to no-one in particular but in this case I'm using them to save myself some frustration: most are scored either 5, 10, 25, or 100 points, American coinage-style, based on their comparative difficulty. My goal with this set is to sweep up all the fun 'n' easy 5-pointers, make a spirited attempt at the 10-pointers, and just marvel at those scored 25 and over from a safe and sane distance like they were the dolphin show at SeaWorld. Just watching the video tutorials for them alone was enough convincing that I don't quite have what it takes to join the big leagues, even with all my hard-earned experience at this tropical watersports nightmare jamboree.

I was screwed over enough times by the glitches in this half-finished game back while I was completing the standard achievement set: it's time to make them work for me instead.

The 5-Pointers (and Below): "It's Easy!"

Golden Mirage (5)

"Spawn the 100-coin Shine Sprite in Delfino Plaza twice without leaving"

This is funny, and I'm surprised it didn't make it to the standard set given how relatively easy it is to pull off. It is an unintended glitch though, so I guess that's the cut-off. To get one of the hidden Shines in Delfino Plaza you have to pay a dude to toss you (not a euphemism, though what happens on Isle Delfino stays on Isle Delfino as far as I'm concerned) through a window. Mario can make the Shine appear by earning 100 coins the usual way—mostly by crawling through the sewers like the dignified hero he is—and then pay the tosser to dip that total down to 99, then collect another coin to put you back at 100 again which respawns the relevant Shine. Besides the usual busywork of finding those coins I had no issue pulling this off, nor did I need to hire a guy to pull this- OK, fine, I'll behave.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Star Shower (5)

"Use the Grand Pianta Statue to create a shower of shooting stars"

The timing on this is tricky, but hovering into the statue (which is the one that has the Bianco Hills warp) and causing this star avalanche to happen is relatively straightforward. Other times I tried this I got launched pretty high into the air, so it's possibly useful for other things too.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Turning Yourself In (5)

"Talk to either police officer Pianta while Delfino Plaza is invisible"

Invisible Delfino Plaza is one of the better known glitches, performed by jamming through the floor of one of the interior areas (the Blue Coin place or the box-smashing mini-game place) where you'll drop into an exterior version of the Plaza without any surfaces but all the NPCs and objects. This is due to the creative workaround the SMS devs used to load almost instantaneously into those exteriors: they just made them invisible and several dozen feet in the air, then warped you between them and switched the rooms to being visible and the exterior below into being invisible to save on frames. This stuff's been fun to learn about, for sure. Once you've pulled off the skip (which wasn't easy; there's an easier version with the Rocket Nozzle apparently but I wasn't invested enough to collect the number of Shines to make it spawn in the Plaza) the rest is simple enough, provided you remember where all the now-invisible buildings are.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Mime-Mime Fruit (5)

"Hold an invisible fruit"

Tossing a fruit into the water a split second before it vanishes (which it'll do eventually) makes it respawn as an invisible fruit. No practical application but having Mario in permanent dab mode is its own reward.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Backstage Pass (5)

"Open the Turbo Nozzle Box near the entrance to The Secret of the Dirty Lake in Episode 5 of Bianco Hills"

So this is one of the achievements for which I need the rocket storage glitch (see below in "Limit Break" for a description, since that's exclusively about using rocket storage) to get. If you get enough height at the front of the cave it's talking about (the one behind the lighthouse, which has bars blocking it in most episodes) you can fall through the ceiling and wind up back there. Tricky part is lining up the fall, since you have to land in a smallish area blind.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Escape Artist (5)

"Get trapped in the Super Slide and then collect the Shine Sprite without using F.L.U.D.D."

The Super Slide is the one I skipped over last time with a mighty Turbo Nozzle jump but in this case it wants you to fall into the strange "safe" hole—the only hole in the course that leads to a solid platform rather than a bottomless pit—then find your way out of said hole and complete the course as usual. Not using F.L.U.D.D. makes this a little trickier to pull off but it still feels like something that could've easily been in the standard set since I didn't need to glitch through a wall or anything. It's not like the devs didn't put that weird safety area in there for no reason, right?

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Are You Blind (2)

"Talk to the Pianta searching for the red bird of happiness in the Red Coin Field"

It's seriously right there, dude. I actually capped this guy back in Part One so that's all the proof I did this non-challenge. Again, gotta wonder why this is here and not in the standard set. Too silly?

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Subvert Your Fears (5)

"Get on top of Pachinko Game using only the Turbo Nozzle"

The rocket storage glitch I mentioned (read more about below in "Limit Break") also applies to the Turbo Nozzle too, though you don't get quite as much air on a full tank. In this case, if you do the glitch in the little starting zone of the pachinko machine it'll just miss the top. You have to sort of wall jump from the back side of the machine to a higher platform before you can get up there reliably. There's a complementary achievement for this that's several magnitudes more difficult (and is worth 100 points, fittingly).

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Meteor Mistake (5)

"Stand on the stone slab floating above the Gelato Beach Gatekeeper in Delfino Plaza"

There's a puck-shaped object sitting on top of the lighthouse (which has the entrance to Gelato Beach) and it's still there even while the lighthouse has been replaced with one of those goop piranhas. Doesn't take much to get up there even without the Rocket Nozzle (which you probably wouldn't have that early on).

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Toll-Free Route (5)

"Enter Lily Pad Ride from Delfino Plaza while riding Yoshi without using the boats"

It's another OOB glitch and one that's pretty easy to pull off, more so than the interior-exterior one I'd been using for some others. You can run underneath the water to get to the island where the relevant pipe warp can be found though you obviously can't dawdle in OOB (it kills you).

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Got Your Nose (3)

"Hold Gooper Blooper's nose for 10 seconds without letting go"

The standard set minimized the amount of torture you put this poor cephalopod through but this goof achievement is right back to breaking PETA's heart. If you remove its two front tentacles it's powerless to stop you from dragging its snoot any which way for as long as you want. Psycho.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Test Driving (5)

"Ride all 3 Blooper Racers in the Blooper Surfing Safari in one visit"

Not much to this one, just have to do a 180 at the first corner and aim at another Blooper to start riding it instead. Best to leave the purple one for last since it has the worst turning cycle.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Robust Checkpoint System (5)

"Earn the Shine Sprite in Blooper Surfing Safari without riding a Blooper Racer"

This actually relies on tech I first learned about through SummoningSalt's Mario Kart vids, curiously enough. It's to do with how most MK tracks (and this Blooper track is no exception) only does flag checks at a handful of specific zones of the track: if you just remember to hit those you can move in a triangle to hit all three while sliding around and just about get over the finish line under the race goal. I hit 44 seconds on my successful attempt; now I can claim to have beaten this race with all three Bloopers at once and zero Bloopers at all. What an accolade to put on my tombstone.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Mario the Magician (5)

"Stand on the invisible barrel in Episode 1 of Ricco Harbor"

This is a real weird one. There's an invisible barrel near where you start at Ricco Harbor and since it has no collision on its sides you might walk right through it. However, you can stand on top of it. The weirdest part is that this barrel doesn't appear until after you've triggered the Gooper Blooper fight at the opposite end of the level: the act of pulling off that first tentacle and starting the fight actually puts you in a different version of the map entirely, which is identical but for the boss and this one barrel. Sometimes you have to wonder A) what were the devs playing at, and B) who the hell figured out there was an invisible barrel here? Another tropical mystery.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Sewer Stench (5)

"Collect the Blue Coin from the Klamber on the wall in Ricco Harbor without riding Yoshi"

The clue's in the name: jumping in the sewer without leaving it (so, while you're not under a manhole) puts Mario in an unusual state that makes him lethal to enemies just by touching them. That's the only way to get this "Klamber" wall-climbing bug without forcing Yoshi to eat it. While it was easy to earn this it did mean playing a new file halfway through Ricco Harbor, since I'd already picked up the Blue Coin in my previous achievement run. That was the only real patience-testing impediment here.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

We Still Got It 2.0 (5)

"Complete Episode 8 of Ricco Harbor while riding Yoshi"

Now, you might be wondering "wait, I thought the point of Episode 8 is to get the Shine with Yoshi". It also means getting past the cage at the end where you have to stomp it (sans Yoshi) to get inside. I don't quite understand the tech involved here but if you sit Yoshi on top of the cage, try to ground-pound past him, and then walk off while riding him he'll just magically dip inside the cage and let you get the Shine. I'm glad these things have videos to go with it because I'd have no idea why or how that works.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Stairway to Heaven (5)

"Touch the ceiling of Gelato Beach"

A glitch relating to the staircase that appears with one of the dune buds at the back of the course (hence the name). If you ground-pound at the moment the staircase appears it sends you into the stratosphere for a moment. Fun visual effect for sure and you can keep trying until you get the timing right.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Directional Dyslexia (2)

"Collect a shine while in Mario-cam"

Simple stuff and a glitch anyone can make happen. Just turn-jump and switch to Mario-cam before falling into the Shine and Mario will forget where the camera is. Pretty funny. I should start doing this for all Shines from here on out.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Boooring (2)

"Drop dead while talking to an NPC in Pinna Park"

Speaking of funny glitches which are easy to pull off, this requires getting hit by one of those flying Stu things that steals your hat. Unlike Mario 64, the Mario of Super Mario Sunshine can't actually live without his hat and will take damage over time without it. For this achievement, you just have to talk to one of the Noki outside the park while your health slowly depletes. Kinda traumatic for the little guy.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

What a Spectacle! (5)

"Skip the Mecha-Bowser introduction cutscene in Episode 1 of Pinna Park"

I don't know how this works but if you're sliding after Bowser Jr. and go to a certain point and hit "exit area" from the pause menu it'll skip ahead to after Mecha-Bowser shows up. If you miss the timing it'll just kick you out of the course as usual, so it's a little irritating. I was fortunate enough to get it after two tries, so I'm guessing the exact moment to go into the menu isn't too punitive.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Mamma Peach? (5)

"Skip the Bowser Jr. introduction cutscene in Episode 1 of Pinna Park"

And this skips the other cutscene here, saving quite a bit of time in a speedrun I'd imagine. Similar deal, you have to click "exit area" again just as Mecha-Bowser is exploding. So kind of them to put that entirely on-purpose cutscene skip in the game.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Not Afraid of Heights (5)

"Hang from the ceiling of Pinna Park"

This is the first 5-pointer I really had any trouble with (maybe it's more a 10) in that you have to get hit by one of those electric koopas as you're half-hanging on the green mesh thing the koopa is on and half floating through it. The timing is really precise so it took some time to replicate what I saw in the video. Sometimes the execution is deceptively more exact than those speedrunners make it seem.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Bombs Away (5)

"Reach terminal velocity during a Ground Pound while holding a Bob-omb in Episode 2 of Pinna Park"

The only 5-pointer I couldn't get and the reason why was unexpected: it's impossible with the 60fps patch I've been using. Whoops. Just doesn't seem to work like it's meant to and there's plenty of comments to that effect in the achievement's description too. Can't win 'em all, I suppose.

Patience Level: Maxed

Happy Hour (1)

"Fall asleep on a lounge chair closest to Sirena Beach"

Cuuuuute.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

No Self Control (1)

"Climb on a decorative tree in Casino Delfino"

Just gotta be high enough up. And also probably high enough on drugs to go around climbing over the decorations in the casino. Hey, I'm on vacation.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

That's a My Brother! (3)

"Talk to the Pianta cleaning the attic of Hotel Delfino in Episode 3 of Sirena Beach"

Kind of a nothing achievement, since this guy's hard to miss the first time you go into the attic. I guess the achievement-maker wanted to shout out the Luigi's Mansion reference here.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Spring Forward (5)

"Complete Episode 2 of Noki Bay without opening the entrance to the shrine"

Did someone say "wall clip into OOB"? Seems to be the case with many of these glitches, I'll grant you. This has a similar aspect to the others in that you have to find the shrine area blind while in the Void that is perhaps the hardest part.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Aw, Yeah! This is Happenin'! (5)

"Run really fast while underwater without having the Turbo Nozzle equipped"

This doesn't mention a course but Noki Bay is the one shown in the video. It involves OOBing your way underneath the water to a different water layer, then walking (or sprinting) across a seabed which now no longer has water physics but Sonic physics. It looks pretty funny too though it's real fiddly to get to the right layer of OOB: if you don't jump at the right moment you just plunge underneath the course and get stuck there until it mercy kills you. The Void is an unforgiving place.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Hidden Lore (5)

"Stand overtop the mysterious book in Episode 3 of Noki Bay"

Inside the magical bottle of Noki Bay, which Mario shrinks into (hey, no explanation was given for this in Mario 64 either, so Sunshine gets a pass), there's a castle structure that has a book inside it. You can't see it from the outside so why they bothered to put it here is anyone's guess. Maybe they felt like Banjo-Kazooie got a lot of attention for its dummy objects taking on a mystical second life within the internet's rumor mill? Either way, you can clip through a wall and stand on it if you want.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Just Monkeying Around (5)

"Climb on a horizontal fence while holding bananas in Pianta Village"

The last two 5-pointers of the set take place in the final course which, much like the standard set, has a great number of achievements attached to it. This is just a fun glitch anyone could pull off: grab some bananas, find one of the many pits with a turn panel at the bottom, then ground-pound to find yourself hanging with a pack of 'nanas in your mitts.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Gone With the Wind (5)

"Complete Episode 3 of Pianta Village using a direct path"

The second of the two Pianta 5-pointers is actually one of the hardest overall but there's multiple ways to tackle it so I guess that makes it more accessible than some of these "my way or the game over way" others. I think I brought this up in Part Two but you can skip the whole underside trek for this Episode, which has Bowser Jr. grab F.L.U.D.D. right at the start, by damage boosting across the slime and getting to the gold mushroom directly. Not easy by any stretch but manageable enough.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Cartoony Death (1)

"Die while holding fruit underwater"

This little bonus is exactly how it sounds, no tricks involved. You can see below what you look like if you go swimming with fruit and forget to come up for air.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

The 10-Pointers: "I Know This Game Has Perspective Issues, But I Think I Clipped Trough That Block"

Sewer Rat (10)

"Collect the 100-coin Shine Sprite in an unflooded Delfino Plaza while only using the Hover Nozzle and without swimming"

Since I bothered to get the 100-coin Shine to appear earlier I might as well get this companion achievement too. You need an absolutely perfectly timed manhole jump (where you dramatically burst forth from the sewers like you were yet another TMNT reboot) in order to reach it and, because the achievement-writers are so nice, you only have to miss once to void the attempt because of that "no swimming" clause. However, using the same trick as above to get back to 99 and then 100 again to respawn it also respawns the attempt. Through magic. I made sure to practice the jump many times before actually summoning the Shine and going through all of this: my reward for scoping the achievement set ahead of time.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Multitasking (10)

"Enter Bianco Hills immediately after defeating the Ricco Harbor Gatekeeper in Delfino Plazas"

This requires some cracked timing but the QoL patch I was using let me quit out and retry if I missed it at least, so it's just a matter of spraying that big goop plant then making a beeline for the Bianco Hills entrance and jumping in just when the Ricco Harbor building reappears. The camera absolutely does not care for you doing this, by the by.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Bonsai Tree (10)

"Climb an extremely tiny tree"

The Piantas aren't the only things you can rescue from getting slimed: by spraying goop at certain spots it'll cause a palm tree to suddenly grow to adult height which you can then climb on. However, it'll only grow while you're looking at it (a shower and a grower, you might say) so if you trigger its spawn point without staring in that direction it'll show up stunted—basically, the first frame of its growth animation. Its climbing hitbox is about twice as tall as the model as, oddly enough.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Limit Break (10)

"Store about 13 rockets worth of vertical velocity"

I already knew all about rocket storage from watching GDQ speedruns (the Bingo one they do sometimes is fun) but this was the first time I tried attempting it. There's more nuance to it than how it first looks: you have to adopt the side-step mode (or "a little bit of soft-shoe", as Vinny put it) with the Spray Nozzle, switch to Rocket Nozzle, power it almost all the way up with a half-trigger press (which slows it down), and then let go of the side-step mode just before it launches you up, then repeat all that thirteen times for this achievement. Doing this still causes the appropriate amount of water to get drained from the tank—you have enough for 12 boosts exactly—and if you jump you'll undo all the rocket storage you have, which creates an obvious impediment to this achievement's specifications. So, the idea is to do this next to a Rocket Nozzle box that's already been opened so you can grab it and refill the tank, which won't reset the storage. Also worth noting that if you launch 13 rockets' worth of water at once (done by simply walking off the platform you're on, rather than jumping) you'll be stuck in the air for quite a long time. I quit the level rather than wait to see how long it took; as is the running theme for this blog, my patience isn't all that great these days. I blame YouTube Shorts.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Information Comes With a Cost (10)

"Speak to the lost Yellow Toad in Delfino Plaza when Bowser Jr.'s ship is in port"

Yellow Toad may have made a career-defining breakout with his playable role in one of the many New Super Mario Bros. games (like I care enough to check) but back in the early days he had some pretty undignified work as a panicking extra, in this case being one of the Toads that freaks out after Shadow Mario abducts Peach and takes her to Pinna Park, starting that whole middle act of the game. To rub salt into the wounds, he's been placed underneath the world geometry where the only way to reach him is to go OOB: we've previously established that you can do that via the interior-exterior shift needed for invisible Delfino Plaza if you mess it up (there's a bunch of others too). You have to find him and talk to him without standing on solid ground for over a second, as that's fatal: it takes some sharp timing but it's nothing too demanding. Mario just instantly dies mid-conversation with him after that which, well, same.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Seasick Remedy (10)

"Enter the Blooper Surfing Safari in Episode 2 of Ricco Harbor without touching water, riding a Blooper, or using F.L.U.D.D."

Another OOB glitch achievement, though a just about attainable one for a non-speedrunner type. The issue with this is that you have to perform the OOB move near the sewers and the water—hitting the former means you have to go OOB again, since you're securely in-bounds again at that point, while the latter means resetting the attempt. Even if you're able to navigate the underworld between the sewer pipe and ocean you're still at risk of instant death (gotta keep jumping) and then find the correct transition area under the mucky archway leading to the Blooper racetrack. Took a bit of work to get the finesse down but I'm starting to worry about myself (or perhaps the game) at how easy it is to pull off half these OOB tricks.

Patience Level: Just About Within Parameters

No-shi Yoshi (10)

"Complete Episode 8 of Ricco Harbor without using Yoshi"

Of course. The natural accompaniment to the "complete with Yoshi" achievement. Idea here is to use a coconut to glitch your way into the final cage, since you can't remove the yellow goop without ol' Yosh. The way to get all the way up there with a coconut is, you guessed it, rocket storage. Man, I'm glad I learned how to do that, seems like I need it for every other achievement.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

The Legend of Kug (10)

"Get electrocuted for approaching Kug in Pinna Park"

Kug lives underneath the park which means another OOB skip (it's some innocuous part of the wall below the Ferris wheel this time). The guy is like a 2D Yoshi's Island goomba? I guess? I didn't get a good look but he's down there somewhere under the saucer ride just lurking in the dark. Ominous stuff.

Patience Level: Within Parameters (Just)

Kuri Cannon (10)

"Defeat the pesky Green Bird, and then pop a balloon before boarding the roller coaster in Episode 8 of Pinna Park"

Trying to figure out what this achievement was asking me to do was the first half of the challenge here. Turns out one of the green birds just goes and pops a Bowser Jr. balloon if you spook it which gets in the way of doing what the achievement wants to do, which is use one of that tall stacks of Stus to pop a balloon yourself. After killing the appropriate parakeet the achievement becomes "active" and then you're able to lure one of those waddlin' fellahs over to close to the beach where the balloons are lowest, knock it over with water, and hopefully pop the balloon by flinging the poor guy at the right angle. Really thought it was going to take longer.

Patience Level: Within Parameters (With Some Confusion)

Sirena Whenever (10)

"Enter Sirena Beach from Delfino Plaza before Yoshi eats the pineapple blocking the entrance"

This is possible by throwing a fruit at a certain part of the SIrena Beach entrance rooftop (where the pipe with the pineapple plugged into it is found) but it felt like it took forever to get the timing down. This might be my fault for going with a 60fps QoL version of the subset patch: if these tricks are meant to be frame-perfect, then essentially making them twice as hard to pull off wasn't a smart choice. It looks so smooth though...

Patience Level: Within Parameters

No Time for Games (10)

"Enter The Secret of Casino Delfino without solving the puzzle in Episode 4 of Sirena Beach"

You can glitch over the puzzle wall with enough height and gumption, turns out. I'll have to remember that for next time: trying to get all the tiles to flip around the right way is a frequent irritation whenever I play this game.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Mystery Solved...Next! (10)

"Complete Episode 3 of Sirena Beach without riding Yoshi"

This trick requires you to throw a banana while backflipping into a wall. It's also part of the Sirena Beach skip in the first place, so if you can pull that off this seems easier by comparison. Do you think Donkey Kong saw this game with its tropical theme and its love of bananas and thought "What am I? Chopped liver? I know DK64 was a bit rough (in the jungle bizness) but all this seems... targeted."

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Shrine Desecration (10)

"Defeat Gooper Blooper while inside the shrine in Episode 2 of Noki Bay"

I love this one. This kinda continues after the "Spring Forward" 5-pointer above where, after OOB-ing your way into the Shine shrine area, you can use rocket storage to destroy the block the Gooper Blooper is sitting on and drop him into the shrine. Since this requires two pieces of glitch tech (and a much harder time getting into the shrine OOB without the Hover Nozzle) it's worth twice as much.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

The Bends (10)

"Enter Red Coins in a Bottle in Episode 3 of Noki Bay with 15 coins"

So, the way this works is that you have to die while collecting 15 coins and then you'll start over with those 15 in your inventory. Collecting that many while dead would normally be a feat not even the Weekend at Bernie's guy could pull off (I think his name was Bertie?) but there's a row of coins going up underneath a vertical jetstream. Just gotta die the moment you hit that stream, which isn't an easy feat. Apparently, this sort of thing is common in the "collect every coin" achievement subset so... well, one more reason to give that a miss, perhaps.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Mario's New Occupation (10)

"Complete Episode 4 of Noki Bay without initiating the final Eely-Mouth cutscene"

Get hit while cleaning the final tooth. Messes up the flags and skips the cutscene of the big guy skulking off. This one annoyed me too much to be too verbose about it. Takes a real long time to get that fight started, you know?

Patience Level: Within Parameters (Just)

Abyss Walker (10)

"Get to the very bottom of Pianta Village"

Don't need Artorias's ring to get down here but you do need to hit one of two very specific points next to a big mushroom to skip past the kill field—which takes you out once you reach a low enough height that recovery becomes impossible—to slide down to even greater depths. It's also the first OOB abyss that won't kill you if you stand still, letting you enjoy sitting quietly in the endless dark. Now that's my idea of a Sunday well spent.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Fluffy Flight (10)

"Teleport on a Fluff in Episode 8 of Pianta Village"

For whatever reason, hopping on one of these fluffs just as it's starting to vanish (fortunately, this is also when they're close to the ground and easy to reach) teleports you to its respawn location. I hear it also has some practical applications in some speedruns that limit the nozzles you can use. A trick to keep in mind if I ever feel the urge to do that Hoverless set.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Chained and Chomped (10)

"Be swimming while the Shine Sprite appears in Episode 4 of Pianta Village"

I swear I saw the Game Grumps do this one time by accident but the Chain Chomp Bath episode requires you to get pulled into the hot spring at the same time the Chain Chomp leaps into it: you can't let go of the chain and jump in yourself as you don't have enough time after the letting go animation. It's a very precise thing but it's still worth doing for the visual.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Keep Yoshi Safe (10)

"Enter Secret of the Village Underside in Episode 5 of Pianta Village without riding Yoshi"

The last 10-pointer I was able (or willing) to do involves another OOB skip, this time through the platform with the yellow goop protecting the warp to the secret zone with all the Chucksters. Again, some precision lining up and careful hovering (too low and you clip through the bottom of the platform and die, too high and that goop'll get ya) but nothing insurmountable.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Take to the Skies (10)

"Collect both coins in the hidden room in Delfino Airstrip without using the Rocket Nozzle"

Another rocket storage glitch, the tech behind this works similarly to the one behind the invisible Delfino Plaza albeit you're accessing the invisible interior area from below rather than dropping into an invisible exterior area from above. Takes some careful aim to reach.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Express Shipping (10)

"Collect the Shine Gate Shine Sprite in Delfino Plaza using only the Hover Nozzle without grabbing anything"

This is a case where the fact that invisible Delfino Plaza is just the regular one from high up can be exploited to grab the high-floating Shine Gate Shine Sprite (that's a mouthful) by simply hovering over to it. It's a real pain to line up properly though and I kept turning while trying to stay within the glitch activation zone so I eventually gave up on it. I wonder if it excludes Yoshi? Maybe I'll try it again sometime.

Patience Level: Maxed

Just in Time (10)

"Enter Lily Pad Ride from Delfino Plaza without riding Yoshi or grabbing anything"

This is a variant of the Toll-Free Route achievement, above, where you get into the Lilypad Ride pipe through an out-of-bounds glitch instead, using the box-smashing mini-game to create an odd situation where the timer has elapsed but the guy hasn't given you his commiserations yet—and as long as you're in water and not dry land, he never will. The OOB point requires ground-pounding a near-invisible seam and I just wasn't up to finding it, given the length of the set up (at least 30 seconds for the mini-game, plus another 30 to swim all the way over there).

Patience Level: Maxed

Joy Ride (10)

"Ride a lily pad all the way back to the starting area in Bianco Hills"

This is a real weird OOB skip that requires a great deal of set-up with regards to pushing the lilypad into the wall with an enemy's help and I wasn't about to get ten minutes into all that only to screw up the OOB and die instantly.

Patience Level: Maxed

Nimbostratus (10)

"Stand on the darkest cloud in Corona Mountain"

This is supposedly the easier of the two Corona achievements in this set yet I couldn't get it to work at all. The challenge to overcome here is that the darkest cloud is just above the area transition to the Bowser fight: it really only exists as a visual marker to let you know where to head towards as you keep rocket jumping through the clouds towards the end of this course. The tutorial video made it seem like you could use rocket storage to effectively go OOB through the ceiling but every time I tried it the conical ceiling simply funneled me into the Bowser fight which voided the attempt (at that point you either have to beat Bowser, get a game over, or exit the course entirely from the pause menu). Given each attempt required doing the entire platforming part of Corona (including that damn boat) my patience ran out pretty quickly.

Patience Level: Maxed

The 25-Pointers (and Above): "OK, What the Fuck Happened?"

Hydrophobic (25)

"Collect the Shine Sprite in Lily Pad Ride without using the lily pad or F.L.U.D.D."

Now, I said at the lede that I wasn't going to even attempt the 25-pointers but this one was too tempting not to try, since it completely obviates the worst aspects of the Lilypad Ride Shine while adding plenty more challenges of its own. If you've done a 120-Shine run before you'll probably feel a similar degree of antipathy towards this Shine as you do the pachinko one: some deeply unintuitive movement mechanics mar what is already a challenge, manuevering a Lilypad down an unusually deadly river to collect red coins. With this achievement, you use tech to put yourself underneath the water's surface—only the top is deadly, there's actually nothing underneath—and collect the red coins very, very carefully. The rule here is: If you break the surface, the surface breaks you. A low-height ground-pound is enough for most of the floating red coins near the water, but one farther up requires an exceptionally risky triple-jump that needs to land on the thin wall that surrounds the river. It's getting under the surface and that triple-jump that are the big failure points here and I'll admit it took me a while to get all the relevant tech down. Enjoyable to turn this annoying Shine on its head though (albeit through a method that makes it a lot harder).

Patience Level: Close to Max

Not So Lethal Lava (25)

"Initiate the fight with Bowser and Bowser Jr. without using the boat or the clouds in Corona Mountain"

This relied on a couple pieces of tech I'd acquired already: skipping the boat requires damage boosting yourself under the lava (as with the Lilypad Ride, only the surface is death) using one of those firey cheep-cheeps seen in the first part of this final gauntlet, while the second half involves rocket storage since you're meant to use regular rocket boosts to climb the clouds. The lava swimming is naturally the harder half of this challenge, since you'll need to surface occasionally for air without somehow dying in the process: taking "drowning" damage gives you invincibility frames though, so as long as you're very quick you can come up for a quick mouthful of air while in that state. Tense stuff, but still kinda generous for a 25-pointer.

Patience Level: Close to Max

Style Points (25)

"Collect the normal Shine Sprite in the Dune Bud Sand Castle Secret without moving past the first row of cubes in the final area or using F.L.U.D.D."

This isn't as bad as it sounds—it's actually kinda fun and easy, especially compared to other 25-pointers. The goal is to ground-pound the disappearing sand block in that first row just as it reappears, sending you flying directly up where the Shine awaits. The timing is crazy but as long as you're aiming at it a little late rather than a little early you won't lose too many lives.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Tightrope Performance (50)

"Align all 3 mirrors while standing on a rope in Episode 2 of Gelato Beach"

I think my jaw hit the floor when I saw this in action. The issue with spraying from the rope is that you can only ever spray in one direction, so you have to catch the Plungelo enemies (the Cataquacks that are screwing with the mirrors) as they pass then very carefully spray them with the minimal amount of water to glitch them into falling off then repeat for all three. The rope starts doing some very strange stuff after each alignment, which makes it much easier to get close enough to the next one to spray them. You just need plenty of patience to drop them all (at least the achievement lets you remove all but one enemy from each mirror before tackling things on the rope). Honestly surprised this was worth 50 but I'm not going to be filing an error report. Gimme those points.

Patience Level: Within Parameters

Honey Skip (25)

"Skip the cutscene of Shadow Mario taking Princess Peach to Pinna Park (no C-Stick input)"

Like a multiple-step OOB glitch with insane timing on the final step—you have to trigger the cutscene and die in the same frame—that you can only attempt once before the game sticks you in the post-cutscene version of the world. Wasn't gonna bother.

Patience Level: Maxed

Doing the Impossible (25)

"Open the hidden Rocket Nozzle Box in Delfino Plaza"

This requires a glitch tech called Infinite Flutter Jump, where you're meant to jump and flutter on Yoshi and then quickly dismount and hit the ground-pound almost one frame after the other to stay at the current height but refresh the flutter to get you a bit more height, then repeat as needed. It's not something I have the timing to pull off though.

Patience Level: Maxed

Floating Through Space (25)

"Use the Underwater Nozzle during your first visit to Delfino Airstrip"

I've no idea what "Underwater Nozzle" means or why it's not marked as missable since you can theoretically only come here once (and when you go back to the Airstrip post-game, it's completely changed). Either way, it sounded too complicated and would involve playing about half an hour of the game to get the Turbo Nozzle (which I think it's referring to) and come back to try it. The glitch also requires you to game over, and the "QoL" patch for this subset gave me infinite lives so I guess it didn't help with QoL there at all. If you made life infinite, wouldn't that effectively reduce its quality anyway?

Patience Level: Maxed

Paperkick Practice (25)

"Collect the Blue Coin above the Tower in Ricco Harbor while only using the Hover Nozzle"

Paperkicks are advanced tech (it's named after some guy, it has nothing to do with Paper Mario) where you have to jump off a wall, use the Y-button to switch to Mario cam just briefly enough to change the perspective, hit another wall and jump off it with the new perspective and go back and forth like that until you're as high as you need to be to, say, collect the above Blue Coin. It's an effective way of wall-jumping up two walls that aren't facing each other but I could not get my head around it whatsoever. (There's an even harder variant, the kinikick, that you can do against a single wall and it's impressive to watch.)

Patience Level: Maxed

Thank You Touval (25)

"Complete Episode 8 of Gelato Beach while in a different episode using the Hover Nozzle"

Open Bar (25)

"Complete Episode 8 of Gelato Beach while in a different episode without using the Hover Nozzle"

Both of these require punishingly precise OOB glitches that let you hover into the roof of the cabana where the Episode 8 Shine can be seen in every other episode (it's the one that requires the giant watermelon). It's an integral trick to learn if you intend to speedrun this game yet there's so little margin for error it's really only for the diehards out there.

Patience Level: Maxed

Social Anxiety (25)

"Enter The Yoshi-Go-Round's Secret before Episode 6 of Pinna Park"

This one has about seven different glitch steps you have to do perfectly in order to smuggle the Yoshi from outside into the park and they're all real tough and can only be tried once each per attempt: fail any of them and you'll have to start over. I'll... be skipping this one.

Patience Level: Maxed

Yoshi's Safari (50)

"Stand on the hidden tree in Bianco Hills while riding Yoshi in Episode 8 of Bianco Hills"

I did give this one a shot but there's no explanation video so I got stuck pretty fast. Yoshi has this weird standing spin-jump that gives you an enormous amount of air (I used it in the run for the standard set too) so that can get you to some interesting places, but I couldn't figure out how to go OOB where the aforementioned hidden tree is sitting just inside one of the walls. One issue from other videos I've seen is that the tree is surrounded by water, which is fatal to Yoshi. Since it's a 50-pointer I'm sure the actual solution is something completely ludicrous.

Patience Level: Maxed

Ya Snooze, Ya Lose (50)

"Defeat all 5 Snooza Koopas at once in Episode 4 of Pinna Park"

You have to wake these things up and ground-pound them after they try the same thing to you, and after about four or five seconds after defeating one a cutscene will play of one of the flowers waking up. This achievement wants you to awake all five koopas and kill them one after the other quickly enough that the last is dead before the cutscene for the first revived flower starts. It requires an insanely precise and fast method I didn't feel like attempting. I know, "Profiles in Courage" and all that.

Patience Level: Maxed

Magic Shot (50)

"Pop all balloons within one lap of the Roller Coaster in Episode 8 of Pinna Park"

It's theoretically doable but... nah. One of the few achievements in this set that isn't based on glitches but is so hard that they don't expect casual players to pull it off, hence why it's in this here bonus subset instead of the standard one.

Patience Level: Maxed

Do a Barrel Roll (100)

"Collect the East Bell Shine Sprite in Delfino Plaza using only the Hover Nozzle without warping to the sky"

This involves the notorious barrel-stacking glitch which is so far beyond my understanding, let alone ability to execute, that I took one glance at the video (and the point score) and just immediately noped out. Nothing wrong with knowing your limits.

Patience Level: Maxed

GWKing at the Shine (100)

"Collect the Shine Sprite in Turbo Track while only using the Hover Nozzle once"

The required jumping for this one is absolutely cracked and I had a hard enough time in the standard set doing this bonus course with multiple Hover Nozzle usage. Pass.

Patience Level: Maxed

Conquer Your Fears (100)

"Get on top of Pachinko Game using only the Hover Nozzle"

This requires kinikicks, which I talked about earlier. Couldn't even manage to figure out the easier version of that trick let alone the expert-level one.

Patience Level: Maxed

The Scrumpy Special (100)

"Have Yoshi eat the mysterious bananas in Episode 4 of Pinna Park"

This requires both the Infinite Flutter Jump glitch and a "fruit storage" glitch that forever keeps a fruit in reach of Yoshi's tongue wherever he goes. However, there's a time limit on the latter due to the way fruits eventually disintegrate after a minute or so which makes getting the precision down on the former that much more integral. No thanks.

Patience Level: Maxed

Coin Laundering (100)

"Enter Noki Bay from Delfino Plaza with at least 4 coins (no C-Stick input)"

According to the video you have to spray four green birds near the canal in Delfino, then spray them again as they fly over the Noki Bay entrance, then quickly jump, ground-pound, switch to Mario-cam and stare at the sun (which sends you to Noki Bay) just before you collect the coins beneath you. I'm not sure why it prohibits moving the camera but it doesn't make it any more or less impossibly precise.

Patience Level: Maxed

And that's going to do it for this exhaustive look at the glitch-based achievements for this game. They are not for the faint of heart or the impetuous of brain but it's fun to have an excuse to try some of these glitches out. I know if I ever embark on another SMS run I'll be using rocket storage and OOB tech wherever possible to skip the annoying parts, though it'll be a long time until I feel ready to do any speedrunning with the frame-perfect tricks involved. Certainly gained an appreciation for those putting themselves through all that, though, for sure.

With that, another season of Kobayashi Mario concludes. I have some ideas for the future of this feature but for now I'll be moving onto something a little more... subdued for March. One that won't require getting the timing down on a crazy trick until my fingertips bleed. Time to finally let Mario enjoy his vacation in peace.

Current Totals

• Glitch Subset Achievements: 55 (of 75) / 73%
• Hardest Achievement (I was Able to Earn): "Hydrophobic"