A Pirate (Yakuza)'s life for me.

As with Monster Hunter Wilds, this is game that I don't feel like I have my usual novella's worth of material to say about, but I still feel compelled to at least try. I've written so much about this series over the years, and at a point another one of these games is kind of just...another one of these games. So, what's there to write about? I already covered the nostalgia angle extensively last year, and Pirate Yakuza's story isn't really deep enough to warrant a spoiler-y look at that.

The other day I had a conversation with a friend about this game, that got some gears in my head turning. He's not a long time fan (sicko) of the series like I, and some of my other friends are. He's dabbled a little in the past, but for some reason decided this was going to be the first one he played to completion, and... He enjoyed it, but felt like the game was too long, and the story got “boring” toward the end. So like I said, it got me thinking. Why is it that this series speaks so strongly to me that conversely, I kind of wish it went on longer? That, and while it's certainly not the best story in the series, it not only kept me interested the whole way through, but I felt particularly moved by the post credits scene.

And to this specific friend, sorry I didn't really engage you on this further at the time, sometimes it just takes me a bit to coalesce my thoughts together. Also, you were playing Monster Hunter and I didn't want to distract too much, haha.

But really, what is it about this series that has captivated me so, and kept me coming back for more, even after its missteps? What is it about this series, focused so heavily on middle aged or outright old Japanese men beating each other up over real estate (and now pirate treasure (and occasionally white guys getting beaten up)) that has wormed its way so deep into my heart?

For Pirate Yakuza specifically, just having a goofy nautical adventure filled to the brim with wacky escapades is enough in this particularly depressing point in real life. Escapism is nothing new for video games, and I'm sure no matter how fortunate many of us are or aren't (and if we're taking time to write about, or read about video games, we're probably in at least relatively fortunate positions), things suck out there these days. So we all need the escapism we can get.

But like...that doesn't explain why twenty year old me latched onto the series so hard back in 2011. I joined the series with Yakuza 3, a game that infamously opens with like five or six hours of Kiryu running an orphanage, tending to the needs of a bunch of rambunctious ten year olds. Hours of high octane activities like talking to a teacher from school after one kid gets into a fight, or imparting lessons about why racism is bad. Stuff that's charming, but not exactly the sort of bombast that games usually start with. Sure, Kiryu tussles with Majima atop the Millennium Tower early on, and there's random thugs to fight, but in a series known for slow starts, it might be the slowest. Despite that, I was hooked, and remain hooked all these years later.

Thinking about it, and putting it together along with a conversation with a different friend (one who is also a long time Yakuza sicko), I may have finally realized what it is, beneath everything else, about this series that compels me so. I feel kinda silly for not piecing it together sooner, because it feels so obvious now.

It's earnest. It's genuine. It's not poisoned by irony, or trying to be anything it isn't. Yes, it's gotten increasingly ridiculous in recent years, with Ichiban JRPG battling excavators and giant flying Roombas, and now with Majima commanding an olde timey pirate ship to duel ninjas and sumo wrestlers on the high seas. Despite that, it still feels earnest. As my friend said, it's goofy, but they know better than to ruin the emotional moments with dumb quips, or anything else that's all too common in modern writing.

When Majima and crew first embark on their ship, the Goromaru (named after a perfectly normal cat, not a tiger cub), there's a full on song and dance. Majima's new sidekick Noah just starts singing on the deck of the ship, and everyone joins in as they heave ho out onto the sea. One of the best opening credits sequences in recent memory, and it works because it's earnest. Silly, sure, but it's not done for a joke, it's done because it's fun.

It's fun, and it works in the context of the story. Noah's just a kid, but one who's been sheltered his whole life, hidden away on a tiny island far from the rest of the world. The closest things to friends he has being his older sister, overprotective (drunken) father, and his feline companion Goro. So of course when this weirdo washes ashore one day, starts “cleaning up the trash” (pirates), promising adventure and the opportunity to see the world that Noah so desperately craves, he can't contain himself. If that's not a moment worthy of breaking out in song, I don't know what is.

And in a series known (or infamous) for reusing stuff, doing so to cut corners and keep the games coming out at a steady clip, it's worth paying attention to when RGG goes out of its way to do new things, and puts that extra effort in. Taking the time, and effort to write a song, record it (in multiple languages!), then choreograph and produce this sequence isn't a small undertaking. Not for a game where the majority of the side stuff still doesn't have voice acting, and even sequences that while not part of the main narrative, are still sequences you need to play through to progress, also aren't voiced. Someone had a vision for that song and dance, and they went for it with an earnestness and poured their hearts into it.

That same earnestness is what drew me in when I played Yakuza 3 back in 2011. The idea of opening a game with that many hours dedicated to helping out orphans, rather than going for a bombastic opening to draw people in, it's weirdly bold, in retrospect? Like saying, “Sure we have big action and ridiculous fights, but that's not what the heart of this is about.” I get why it would turn a lot of people away, but it caught my attention, and it's held it even when it's faltered (Yakuza 6) in the years since.

Okay, but what about Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii? Is it good good, or just something that weirdos like me will enjoy because we're weird? Like I said, at its core, this is one of these games, so anyone who's found the combat too repetitive, or doesn't like the particulars of how they tell their stories, Pirate Yakuza isn't going to change their mind. It definitely operates in a realm closer to what one might call “anime logic” than anything else. An early plot beat involves Noah's father Jason refusing to let his son go out to sea with Majima (reasonable), but he relents after losing a fistfight. Everyone knows that by “anime logic,” losing a fight to someone charismatic enough means you either become friends, or bitter enemies. In either case, for life. There's not really any other way to explain how Jason goes from being so overprotective one minute, to willing to go along with this nonsense the next. At least he does join the crew to keep an eye on his son, so he's not the worst father in this franchise, not by a long shot!

If that sort of storytelling is up your alley, congrats, Yakuza/Like a Dragon may very well be for you! If it's not, well, trust me, there's other games in the series with deeper and more complex stories, don't immediately give up on it! Anyway, I had a blast with Pirate Yakuza, but it wouldn't be my personal recommendation as a first entry to the series (sorry, Kris, haha). It also wouldn't be my last pick, so I'm not going to stop anyone from playing it. Regardless, I do think it's a legitimately good game on top of being made for the weirdos like me. But that special (sicko) something is what makes it great for weirdos like me, instead of just good for the...normal people out there.

The biggest new thing is the sailing and ship combat. When the box says, “Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii,” they don't just mean modern day pirates, they mean olde timey pirate ships, and Majima gets to sail one all around Hawaii... Well, less “all around,” and more “across a series of sectioned off groups of islands.” No, I wasn't expecting a full open connected world like the Caribbean of Assassin's Creed IV, this is about what I expected. I think that for anyone who hasn't played this yet and is thinking about it, it's something to keep in mind though.

Partly because the ship combat, kind of like all nautical combat since AC set the standard way back in AC III, is derived from that. It's got its own spins on it, with front facing machine guns in addition to the artillery on the sides, and engines for speed boosts. How else is a pirate ship going to drift during combat? Gotta build up some speed! Those additions make it feel a lot faster than I remember it being in Assassin's Creed, but if I had to pick between the two, AC still probably did it better. Even if you couldn't have laser cannons or shark guns that freeze enemies. Also Majima has a rocket launcher he can use to take some extra pot shots when he lets go of the wheel.

You get to assign every member of the crew, both to those on the guns on the main deck, and those who board enemy ships along with Majima. They've got different stats, and many have bonuses if they're assigned as first mate, or squad leaders for the boarding groups. My first mate (Monica?) greatly boosts damage to enemy sterns, which I found a fun tactic to go for. Boost to drift around behind enemies, then focus fire until they're stunned, leaving them open for a big hit from the main guns.

I also can't stress enough the inherent humor of who you can recruit, and how so much of the side stuff in this game ends with Majima casually recruiting people to join his pirate ship. Random lady he was helping to impress the guy she has a crush on? She can fight, sign her up! Ex-comedians who run a coffee shop? They can load a cannon, they're on board! Rabbit themed mascot from Kamurocho who happens to be working in Hawaii? He can provide motivational support! Alo-Happy, the palm tree mascot from the tourism company? He's got a flamethrower!

It is deeply funny to jump aboard an enemy pirate ship alongside the extremely buff Chitose “Buster” Holmes, the diaper clad Gondawara, a ninja lady, and like half the cast from the Judgment games for some reason. And since I pre-ordered the game, I got Ichiban for my crew too! I wouldn't pay extra for something like that, but I did make sure to order the game early since I knew I was going to play it anyway.

And it's totally fine to go more for comedy than stats, since you don't really need to use that much “strategy” on the normal difficulty. Which isn't to say the funny crewmates aren't good, just that you don't need to min/max. Across the board, the game is pretty easy, I'd say too easy, honestly. I spent most of it on the higher Professional setting, which felt better. Though, I say that, but also some of the later ship challenges in the Pirate Coliseum were tough enough that I turned it down to normal. But I put it back up to Professional when I left the Coliseum!

Speaking of, that reminds me how Infinite Wealth last year locked difficulty settings and new game plus behind paid DLC. Good news! As I just said, you can change the difficulty any time, and new game plus was just a free update to the game. So, yes, technically you're out of luck if you have a physical copy and no internet access but...it's better than paid DLC. We'll see if, with my physical copy, years from now I am in a situation where I have electricity with which to run a PS5 and television, but no internet, and want to new game plus it! Or I guess PSN could be down, but what are the chances of that happening? Again?

Another new addition is Majima's Sea Dog fighting style, to complement his classic Mad Dog moves. Decked out in pirate mode, he fights with dual cutlasses, a flintlock pistol, and a grappling hook! Naturally he throws the swords around like boomerangs, never needs to reload the pistol, and can grapple himself across the battlefield like he weighs nothing at all. This is also the first game in the series where you can jump during fights, and with that do air combos! No, Devil May Cry it ain't, but I think it's fun. The jumping and air combos are in both styles (though I find them easier in Mad Dog), and he can swap between the two any time. Curiously, he defaults to Mad Dog in Honolulu, but Sea Dog everywhere else. He also swaps outfits, which is funny.

In addition to the series' staple Heat Gauge, there's now a Madness Gauge, which has various super abilities depending on which style he's in. For Mad Dog, the only option is summoning some doppelgangers to fight alongside our piratical hero. For Sea Dog... I don't want to spoil too much, other than to say there's four options to choose from mid fight, and they get increasingly ridiculous as they are unlocked. I absolutely cackled when I got the fourth one!

Back to his outfits, that brings me to another new thing. There's a pretty decent amount of customization there. Hairstyles/hats, tops (you can put a shirt on Majima, but I always tried to keep them open as is his style), pants, shoes, even makeup and earrings! Mix and match, or go with set outfits, including (as paid or preorder DLC) ones from other characters in other games, bespoke pirate outfits, or other classics Majima has worn in past games.

Including some more interesting choices, like the...depending on one's point of view, either famous, or infamous Goromi outfit from Yakuza Kiwami. Out of his many hiding places in the Majima Everywhere system, Majima at one point disguised himself as a hostess, and shenanigans ensued when Kiryu visited the night club in question. I remember at the time not being...thrilled with this, because I've had very...complicated feelings about drag that have changed and evolved over the years. Probably more so than I should get into here, honestly.

What I will say, is that when presented as an unlockable outfit that you, the player can choose to equip on the protagonist, rather than as a goofy side character pretending to be a woman to trick the protagonist, I like it much better. I'm not going to pretend or claim this is any sort of “representation,” because I know canonically Majima is as cis and hetero as everyone else in this series, but I like that the Goromi outfit is in Pirate Yakuza.

I even used it for a bit! There's a stray cat that can only be recruited to the “Goro Animal Kingdom” if you talk to it wearing something that looks, “like a fabulous hostess.” And being very fabulous, the Goromi outfit did the trick. I appreciate that the only comment from the human NPC at that location is, “I couldn't pull off that look,” so the game doesn't really even play it for a joke there.

My only complaint with the outfits is that while you can set five different outfits for both Mad Dog/walking around Honolulu and five for Sea Dog/seafaring, you can only change between them in changing booths at safe houses. I really wish you could at least swap between those sets anywhere. I would have been more inclined to wear goofy stuff during some sub stories, rather than feeling like I should just more or less stick with the look I liked best.

There's also rings, which are visible on Majima, but those are game play relevant. They give stats! Defense or attack bonuses, and sometimes specific perks. Some even have other effects when equipped with other rings, which is neat. What's funny to me is that a ring can be equipped on each of his ten fingers, but some are finger specific. Thumb only, or pinky only! Good attention to detail, I think.

Off the top of my head, that's kind of it for all the new stuff in Pirate Yakuza. I think all the minigames are returning, from either Infinite Wealth, or previous games (Dragon Kart is back!). I guess the batting minigame is kind of new, but there's been batting before, so not really. Just that Majima is hitting cannon balls into explosive barrels. There was some sort of cooking minigame in Ishin, but I think the one here is slightly different? Honolulu is the same, but it's just as vibrant and fun to inhabit as it was last year, so that's not a complaint.

There's a series of enemy pirate captains and their fleets to fight through and take down, but that follows the same blueprint these games always use. There's five of them, but the first one you take down was a chump who's nothing compared to the rest, etc etc. It might not have “Gaiden” in the title like The Man who Erased His Name did, but at the end of the day, Pirate Yakuza does feel like a side story. Particularly in the sense that aside from the ship stuff, they are reusing any and everything they can to make this game as efficient and economical as they could.

To the point where this became a bit of a thing people were talking about online, and frankly I was pretty happy to see most people were positive about it. Like, I don't blame anyone who just wants “new” things in their games, but what other franchise can put out games at this scale and this pace? Pirate Yakuza was about a year after Infinite Wealth, and it's not a small game by any stretch. No, I know they couldn't have built this whole game in just that time, I'm sure RGG has multiple teams working on different projects. But if Pirate Yakuza had to be a wholly new adventure with an entirely new city to explore, we'd still be waiting at least a couple more years before it could release.

I've written before about how Kamurocho recurring through the series allowed it to become almost as much a character as the actual characters, so I'm definitely fond of locations returning across games. Not that Honolulu has had any time to change in any way from Infinite Wealth, we won't get to see that until we get Pirate Yakuza 0 explaining the origin of Madlantis (the secret pirate cove with the Pirate Coliseum). No, to be clear, I don't think we're getting that, or any more piratical Like a Dragon games. Unless this game has sold significantly better than anyone expected, I think the ship stuff is a one off (unless it returns in a minigame or something). But it was a fun one off (fun off?).

I think I've written about all I can without getting into a plot synopsis, which no one needs me to do. If you care about the story, you'll play it yourself, and if you don't, well, I hope you at least don't feel like you wasted your time reading me ramble on!

Pirate Yakuza isn't the best game in the franchise, but it is one that I had a tremendous amount of fun in. And one that helped me escape from the nightmare of current events, at least for a little while. It's goofy, it's silly, and it's earnest. It also has some of the most utterly unhinged nonsense I've ever seen in a video game. One sequence, at the end of a series of sub stories about getting some women to attend a party, is so unhinged it not only goes over into deranged territory, but it is the most deranged thing I've seen in a game since Beyond Two Souls. The difference being, here it was done for comedy, and because of that I was laughing along with the game, instead of at it.

RGG Studio had an idea that was silly, ridiculous, and they sure went for it. I had a grand old time, and I'm super curious about what they have in store for the future. Their next two announced games aren't Like a Dragon! They're bringing back Virtua Fighter! Not really my cup of tea, but I know my Virtua Fighter loving friends are excited, and I'm excited to see what Project Century ends up being. My suspicion is it'll be like Judgment in that it's still set in the Like a Dragon world, just with new characters, and obviously a different time period. But who knows!

And of course, I'll be there, probably day one, playing whatever nonsense is next for Like a Dragon proper. Probably the next Ichiban game? I know my sicko friends and I have become obsessed with a meme about the next game being, “Cowboy Yakuza in Colorado,” but I don't know that the series will ever actually go to Colorado. My hope? Australia. They can reuse their post apocalyptic stuff from the Fist of the North Star game and have Ichiban take down a series of five wasteland warlords in a side thing that has no bearing on the main story! It'll be fun!

Thanks for reading, take care out there, and remember: The real treasure, was the friends we made along the way.