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• January 5th • PC • ✓ Completed main story I am completely, ecstatically and unequivocally enamored by Max Payne 3. It feels real good to finally be able to say that. I have had a lot of problems with this game, for a very long time and I never seemed able to get over them despite how much my perspective has changed over the years. I thought the writing was stale, unrefined, just fuckin' terrible. I loved the way the guns felt, but couldn't get over how clunky, and sluggish the combat was compared to the previous Max Payne games. I was bored with the overabundance of cutscenes, and felt completely disconnected by the way it constantly took control away from you in favor of watching Max traverse to the next set of gunfights. I thought it was delusional, outdated, focused on the wrong things and made poor use of Health's absolutely incredible score and James McCaffrey's remarkable talent. It was to the point where I felt upset with Max Payne 3. It wasn't the game I thought I wanted it to be. What I learned this time is that - yes, Max Payne 3 is not the game I wanted it to be in 2012 when I was fresh and excited off of Max Payne 2. What I realized is that Max Payne 3 is not trying to be the same thing as Remedy's Max Payne games. It's not going for the same tone, style, feel, story - this is unapologetically a Rockstar game, through and through. What I hated in the unrefined and brash dialogue ended up being one of my favorite parts about Max Payne 3. This isn't the smooth-talking, tragic, poetic, pulpy detective that fit right in Remedy's hard-boiled noir cop story. This is a drunk, drug-addicted mess of a man, worn down by years of depression, trauma, self-loathing and self-pity. Max is a man desperately looking forward to the point where someone would put a bullet in his head, or the day he'd die from liver failure - anything to take him out of his misery if he wasn't pathetic enough to do it himself. It's Max Payne, all right - but it's Max Payne that has fallen under the weight of everything that has happened to him. He changed, as is what happens when a lot of really awful shit happens to you and you no longer have the strength to fight back. I love it. I truly, deeply love the way Max is depicted in this game because I feel that anyone who has been through abuse, or trauma, or some sort of deep rut could relate. In the past, I hated that Max knew he was doing stupid, self-destructive shit but did it anyway, because I wondered why he wasn't stopping himself. Now, as someone who has been through some shit - I feel for Max. Sometimes you do something awful in hopes that it might finally kill you, or it'll make you suffer worse for the burdens that you give yourself. It's what you believe - that for all the things you've felt, you deserve the world's anger and hatred tenfold because for some reason, you deserve it. You're the problem, and everything that happens to you is your fault. I can see why I had my problems with it, in retrospect. Terrible things keep happening to Max and his self-reflection is fueled by his utter stubbornness. People die and things fall apart wherever he is, but Max constantly feels the need to make things right. As if his touch wasn't destructive enough, he isn't really someone that learns from his mistakes. He's a shell of the white savior, a failure of the big, strong, disciplined and refined American hero that he thought he was going to be. Not that it was his fault - people are at their most vulnerable when they're in a slump like Max is. I blamed him for everything that happened to him before, and I thought that he didn't deserve the sunny vacation ending that he gets - the walk off into the sunset. I don't quite feel that way anyone. Sure, he's a messy, drunk murderer who puts bullets in the heads of everyone he passes by, but he's also a man that tries to win in a situation that was built for him to fail. He could've killed Passos, and Giovanna, and da Silva and everyone that would've ultimately used him as pawns for their own game, but would it really make him a better man? I don't think he cares one way or another. I wouldn't. I haven't, not when I felt like Max. People have probably written at length about Max Payne 3's incredible combat, and its killer soundtrack, and its remarkable (and likewise kind of distressing) attention to detail. Everything that could be said about Max Payne 3 has been said in a million articles across the internet. I just wanted to let you know that I like it. That's all. Some stray thoughts: - In retrospect, the creatively bankrupt capitalist greed that was Grand Theft Auto V might be the worst thing that has ever happened to Rockstar if it denied creatively ambitious games like this from being greenlit - I love shooting guys to bloody bits. It's awful, and grotesque, but I never got tired of shooting guys in this game. - Don't make a Max Payne 4. Please. Let the man rest.
• February 12th • PC • ✓ Completed all levels (with Jace) A masterclass in poetic fuckery.
• February 27th • PC • Enhanced GOTY Edition • ✓ Completed campaign as the Siren I wanted something lowkey to play while I watched videos with my boyfriend, so I dusted off the original Borderlands. I like 2 well enough, but I remember finding 1 really dull and boring when I had played it with a couple of old friends in 2012. In retrospect, it's a lot more digestible than anything the series would become later. It's so simple, no-frills and down to the point. You shoot guys, complete missions, get loot, upgrade your skills, repeat. For as much as I enjoyed BL2 and the bits I played of the Pre-Sequel, there's just... so much dialogue, and in-your-face garbage, and iterations on things like mission design that went in the wrong directions in those later games. People don't speak that much in the first Borderlands, which is about as big of a compliment I could give to a game that has gone on to be a god damned headache across the board.
• March 24th • PC • ✓ Completed campaign on easy If Call of Duty is a summer blockbuster, then Medal of Honor is the dramatized biopic about some Iraq war operation. It prides itself on realism though not at the expense of entertainment. There's very little in the way of explosive set pieces or narrowly dodging death in Medal of Honor, but instead it's a lot of stealthy operations, holding down areas and no-frills. I was frequently thinking about the sniper missions from Call of Duty 4, and how this more or less feels like an entire game of that kinda stuff. That's to say that it's consistently pretty good, especially compared to the truckload of derritive military FPS campaigns of its day. There are moments where it evokes a bit of Call of Duty drama, but otherwise this game stands out way more than I would've ever given it credit for - at least, before I played it. I think if this game hadn't come out in the heyday of modern military oversaturation, it would've gotten its own little piece of the pie. There's no doubt that the Danger Close team that put together this campaign are an inspired and talented group of folks. Though, you can't tell me that this game wasn't designed to cash-in on that exact oversatured market. With a bit more time, money and better odds, I'd say this would've been a pretty killer game. As it stands though, it'll have to settle for being a forgotten little thing that I've found some appreciation for. Some stray thoughts: - So, MOH Warfighter is definitely them swinging in the total opposite direction and losing sight of why this game is good, right? - I remember the multiplayer beta for this being pretty rough. I wonder what it would've been like with a lot more focus. - My boyfriend is playing this, in case you were wondering how weirdly okay it is.
• April 10th • PC • ✓ Completed story on Path of the Warrior I have... a lot of thoughts. They might need some time to settle.
• April 27th • PC • Re-Mars-Tered ✓ Completed story on easy What a great game - as long as you set it to easy and mute all the dialogue, anyway. It is remarkable just how novel the concept of total destruction continues to be in video games. Red Faction: Guerrilla was fucking crazy at the time - one of those kinda games that you see at a friend's house and immediately go out to buy it. I've bought this game, what, three times now? And this is my fourth time beating it? Destroying shit never gets old, especially with how stellar this game runs on PC. The wanton destruction physics with a steady 144 fps is a dream, almost feels like the way this game was meant to be played - but only if the crashing frame rate of the console versions wasn't so part of its charm. I've never played the sequel, Armageddon. It seems, more than anything, like a total misstep and misreading of why people liked Red Faction to begin with. I guess I'll see for myself, finally? Some stray thoughts: - This is my first time playing it after finding out that Jake Kaufman (of Shantae fame) composed this game's soundtrack. Explains why I thought it was so damn cool when I was first playing it. - I loved the shit out of Red Faction: Guerrilla's online multiplayer. I was surprised as hell that it still exists in this re-mars-tered version. I wonder if anyone's still playing it? - The remastered additions are mostly lost on me, I think because I wasn't playing this game on any sort of UHD display. Instead, I liked that they added all the items from multiplayer to make this game super-duper broken in the best ways. (AND A RESET DESTRUCTION OPTION - GOD BLESS.)