by beargirl1
Hi, thanks for reading! I wanted to do a bit of house cleaning upfront because I'm making a few changes to the way I do my yearly list. Here are some words about it!
I started doing this list in, um... 2010? It was either 2010 or 2011, but as harrowing as it is to think about, that was nearly ten years ago at this point. I have changed a lot in that span, but so have video games and concurrently, the way I play video games. It's not like I was ever some sort of completionist, but back then my idea of getting value out of video games was to, well, finish them. It was like... if I didn't finish a video game, I didn't really have the right to say anything about it, critical or otherwise.
Today, I've done almost a complete 180 on that belief. I play a lot of video games, but I play them how I want to and I get to decide when I've had enough or not. With that, I feel like no matter how much I play or how I decide to play something, I reserve the right to express how I felt about that experience.
I think that learning how to validate my own game experiences was something really important, and has been like... the most important thing I've learned about playing video games since, y'know, I started playing them. It makes me more eager to share how and why I play video games, whether for five minutes or fifteen years. No matter how I play something, I want to talk about it.
So, with all of that said, my list is no longer going to cover just video games that I've "completed" which, to be frank is somewhat of an arbitrary thing at this point. I've never really "completed" League of Legends (unless we count when I uninstalled it in a fit of disgust over the news last year) and there's absolutely no way in hell that you'll ever get me to complete even 1/6th of Resident Evil 0, but that doesn't mean that I didn't play them... unfortunately.
OK, that's it. Bye bye! ♡
- Ajay
P.S. thank you to Daniel_Newton for iterating on my list format last year, otherwise I probably wouldn't have thought to make this change!!
Previous years: [2011] [2012] [2013] [2014] [2015] [2016] [2017] [2018]
Showing 1-10 of 37 items
• January 2nd • PlayStation 3 • × DNF Man... in the precious moments prior to writing this, I had several revelations. Revelations about myself, about video games... about a lot of shit, man. I had a lot to think about while I was being slaughtered over, and over by the Tyrant in Umbrella Chronicles' retelling of the first Resident Evil game. At some point, the boss fight didn't matter as it reduced my final moments with the game to some masochistic, self-reflective therapy session. Do you know what I realized? I realized that the Resident Evil story is mostly, if not entirely pointless. It's pointless to me, to my social life, mental well-being, pointless to Resident Evil... to literally everything in the universe. I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I have better things to do than watch weird robed men turn into leech monsters, and listen to poorly acted Chris Redfield talk about how the Spencer Mansion didn't seem like "somebody's vacation home." It's weird that I came to that conclusion too since I literally only wanted to play Umbrella Chronicles to stomach the (extremely stupid) Resident Evil 0 story and fill in some of the gaps in my RE knowledge before I moved onto Resident Evil 4... but you know what? You know what, dude? I'm just going to read the fucking wiki page.
• (early) January 14th • PlayStation 4 • ✓ Completed all missions as Ranger What a glorious mess of a video game. I hope they keep making these Earth Defense Force games until the heat death of our universe.
• January 18th • PlayStation 4 • ✓ Completed main campaign I'm kind of in awe at how good Resident Evil 4 is. Not at how good it *still* is but purely on its own merits in 2019. It's wild, too because this game got re-released a billion times and everyone goes on and on about how it's one of the best games ever. Make no mistake, though-- I was floored when I had first played RE4 because it was tense and well-crafted unlike any other action game that I had played before. I still like, remember how much I was screaming and jumping off my seat when I first did the village fight. It was on Tony Hawk levels of excitement. That was a long time ago, though and it's easy to forget how good something makes you feel when you're so far away from it. It was even like, still in my memory down to very specific rooms and decors in the later areas-- stuff like "I remember some wild shit happens here" or just having it click in my head that something was about to happen. It's the sort of memory trigger that I've rarely felt when it comes to video games. I guess that kind of says it all. Still, though, even without my memories of it, I still think that RE4 holds up exceedingly well across the board. It still feels, looks and sounds absurdly fantastic-- even down to the corny dialogue which perfectly fits that game in its cosy, little b-movie shaped hole. Just thinking about the campy story on its own just solidifies how this could serve as the apex of the whole series. Not only does it *finally* play well and is genuinely terrifying as hell, but it also nails its ridiculous, over-the-top style in a way that isn't detrimental to anything else in the game. I hesitate to call it perfect, but it's damn near close. In retrospect, it is alarming just how badly this series needed Resident Evil 4. It's cutting-edge, smart and cool in a way that none of those past games could ever dream of. RE3 onwards (sans the REmake) was boring, archaic and straight up embarrassing. RE4 was rejuvenating, and even to this day I don't think any other Resident Evil game has touched the fine craft that this game has. I can't blame them. -- • January 19th • PlayStation 4 • ✓ Completed Separate Ways campaign Like any Resident Evil side-story, Separate Ways is almost entirely pointless filler, filling in story gaps that were not only beats that nobody needed to know, but were also fleshed out to be completely uninteresting. Not to mention just rehashing boss fights, locations and cutscenes. It's still more Resident Evil 4 though, and I like playing as Ada Wong if only because a) I like playing as girls and b) I like playing as cool girls. That's basically all there is to it. Some stray thoughts: - I don't really understand, nor do I really care to understand any of the half-baked espionage between Ada, Wesker and whatever organizations that they happen to be working for in secret. - They didn't remaster the cutscenes for Separate Ways, so every movie feels like an exercise in distinguishing terrible movie file quality and my own awful eyesight. - Ada's shotgun is really, *really* fun. All shotguns needs to feel like that. - It's kind of cool that Ada is more or less responsible for the events of Resident Evil 5, though I kinda wish that she was in RE5 with that considered.
• January 24th • PlayStation 4 • × Dropped at Chapter 6-1 Revisiting Resident Evil 5 was a uniquely puzzling experience, because it went both exactly how I expected and not quite how I expected. I'll explain. I remember Resident Evil 5 getting a lot of flak for being racist not too long before it came out-- mostly because it seemed like you were a buff American dude, going into Africa to light up a bunch of poor, savage locals. They weren't quite zombies, weren't quite human so I could kind of see where that came from. Even as someone who was terribly disconnected from their identity (and subsequent representation), I really didn't find RE5 to be all that alarming because, well, we've shot so many other races of monsters in the old Resident Evil games, right? Going back to Resident Evil 5 in 2019 shed a lot of light on just how deeply rooted this racism stuff can seem because RE5 is essentially some sort of half-assed colonizer simulator. Not only are you the self-identified American, going in to shoot up this vague African place, but you're also stealing heirlooms, artifacts and other precious valuables after murdering them to sell for profit. It feels... both surprisingly and unsurprisingly tone-deaf. It doesn't help that it established Umbrella's backstory as a company that scared natives off their land, brought in an army to kill them when they resisted and exploited natural resources to create their virus-- one that they would later use to basically enslave the natives as both their weapons and labor. I know- it's a lot and it may seem like I'm reaching here but it's also important to recognize the sensitive context and history behind all of this, and how none of it is approached with any sort of tact or self-awareness. Tact is also not something I expect from Resident Evil when dealing with sensitive issues-- the series is built upon unintentionally laughable melodrama. I just merely wanted to point out that I understand where it comes from now. All of that stuff aside, I still think Resident Evil 5 is pretty okay. The shooting is fine and it looks gorgeous. I just found it to be weirdly boring... this was my first time playing it solo since it literally came out, and playing it alone just highlights how much better this game is as co-operative experience. That's not to say that there's no merit to playing it alone-- I still really like the lengths that this game goes to tie all the remaining Umbrella story threads, and I do think that the meat of the Wesker story is by far the most exciting and well-done part about Resident Evil 5's story. I... just felt like I had my fill of RE5 by the time I reached the later levels.
• January 27th • PlayStation 4 • ✓ Completed Claire A campaign Resident Evil 2 is better than I would have given post-2012 Capcom any credit for... and credit is what I will give them, because holy moly. Original Resident Evil 2 in 2018 was exceedingly stressful and creepy all on its own, but the visuals in this re-imagining make the 1997 version look like some sort of fun-times carnival ride. In the same way that REmake felt like the perfect rendering of that cryptic, horrific, creepy mansion, there's a whole lot to love about just how fucked up everything in this game is. The zombies are nasty, the murder scenes are bloody and gnarly and just every location in the police station looks like... well, hell. It's a superb first impression, especially when that fucker Mr. X starts to chase you around. uggghhh I kinda felt like a bunch of RE2's charm wore off in the middle section during the literal slog through the muddy, poopy sewers. Even towards the end, the game's sense of urgency just isn't there in the same way that made original RE2's endgame so stressful. It just kind of feels like we're suddenly at the end of the game all of a sudden. Not that the game seems too short, because it fits right in there with the usual 6-10 hour RE playtime, but it just seemed like a shaky pacing issue, is all. As of right now, though, that's basically where my list of complaints ends because I really was a fan of everything going on in this game. I know it's scab labor, but my favorite part of Resident Evil 2 was always the Claire and Sherry dynamic, and I thought it was much, much better this time around thanks to some really convincing and touching voice work. I love Sherry so much, and seeing her and Claire bond together like buddies was absolutely adorable. Claire's characterization is much more convincing for a young college student, too. She's feisty, curse-y and real cocky. It was a super nice touch to have Claire curse out enemies as she fought them, because her and I often had the same things to say about ugly zombies. RE2 was also, like... way tougher than I had expected it to be. While I breezed through the RE games I played over the past few months, I struggled to get through a lot of encounters properly in this game. Not that I was dying a lot or anything-- it was more along the lines of missing a lot of shots out of panic, or making poor use of items or herbs and stuff like that. Make no mistake-- I still ended the game with a billion healing items and a bunch of ammo, but there were moments where I was getting my ass kicked and it was a total delight. Even though it was hell in the moment, I still loved trying to get through fucked up rooms with no ammo or running for my life from lickers, zombies and all other sorts of shit. Again, I feel like it loses steam mid-way, only to partially gain it back towards the end. Really, it's Sherry that carries that last third of the game and I don't know if that weight will hold for everyone. Still, overall it's a wholly entertaining spookfest with tons of nasty gore, messed up enemy encounters and good ol' fashioned survival horror. Some stray thoughts: - As of right now, I still like original Resident Evil 2 better. You could chock that up to some sort of nostalgia, but I just think it nails the feeling of persistent dread more consistently. - Though the helplessness of Alyson Croft's Claire will always be in my heart, this new Claire is a much, much more likable character... even if she has an out-of-place baby face. - Thank you for promoting Marvin from eventual-zombie to eventual-zombie-side-character. - Like the original, I kind of wish that Mr. X played a more prominent role as a persistent bastard that wouldn't stop chasing you. It definitely would have taken me longer to finish this game if that was the case. -- • January 28th • PlayStation 4 • ✓ Completed Leon B campaign Aww, man... I had a lot to say about this and I wrote it real good, too!! I accidentally busted up the page and lost all my writing... I'm so sad. So, I'll nail it down in bullet points. - This Resident Evil 2 remake really stood up on its own. Not only did it respectfully call back to some of the original's most memorable scenes, but it did so in a way that didn't treat the audience (nor itself) like a drooling dummy fed purely on fanservice. - I liked Leon's story. The characterization for Ada and Leon is a lot better this time around, especially since they gave Ada some life that wasn't "lady in red femme fatale" sorta stuff. They made Leon legitimately hot. - Real good final showdown on the platform. Cathartic, too. - The B final boss was always my favorite Resident Evil boss design. It looks really fucking gnarly here. I loved it. - Good game. Sad I lost all my writing. :(
• February 9th • PlayStation (played on PC w/ RetroArch) • I occasionally have these bouts of total fascination with the Gran Turismo series. It usually ends up with me playing one of them for a little bit, only to realize that the Gran Turismo games are not for me. This is another one of those instances, though the help from emulation features allowed me to easily get past a lot of the mundane stuff like long loading times and redundant license tests. It's the ever-present reminder that these Gran Turismo games are surprisingly weird for being part of such a massive series. I'm not sure if it's fit for car enthusiasts because of how needlessly complicated just about every single part of this game is. As someone with just a casual interest in cars and extensive interest in video games, the Gran Turismo games are always total headscratchers when it comes to UI design, control, mechanics, you know, video game stuff. At least aesthetically it looks and sounds good to the point where I'm actively fawning over its visual style every time I play one of these games. Anyway, my time with GT2 was short-lived, but I still came away relatively satisfied with... well, whatever it was I wanted out of this game. If anything, it made me realize that I don't think that I will ever click with one of these games... but at the least, I can admire just how weird and dedicated they are.
• February 22nd • Xbox One • ✓ Completed main campaign Crackdown 3 is one of the more bizarre new releases that I have played in a while, mostly because they just don't make video games like this anymore. It's exactly that sort of B-tier open world game that I've always been way into-- with the likes of Wheelman, DRIV3R and to a much lesser extent, Sleeping Dogs. It's just totally janky as hell, repetitive, super generic and inconsequential in just about every way possible. It doesn't bring anything forward, nor does it pull that whole genre back a level. It's vapid, mindless explosive fun and I really, really enjoyed my time with it.
• (early) February 26th • PC • ✓ Completed I need to lay down.
• February 28th • PlayStation 4 • ✓ Completed main campaign - (O) ending My favorite moments in Far Cry 5 were either gentle or over-the-top. For the former, I think of when I was fishing along the river at night time, while my cat and dog companions peacefully swam along. For the latter, it's me crashing a helicopter into a field and being ambushed by a violent badger, to which I kicked it in the face with my bare foot until a companion shot it with an incendiary round and sent it running away in flames. In these moments, Far Cry 5 was distinctly Far Cry-- beautiful environments, unpredictable wildlife and ridiculous, wanton gun violence. These are the moments that made me think "man, Far Cry rules a lot." I think that's where those thoughts ended, though because Far Cry 5 otherwise feels...pointless. Pointless, dated, archaic, formulaic, directionless... all the most unflattering ways. The crappy stealth, frail health system, and recycled layout (to the point where you can set your watch to its tropes) are all at odds with how this sort of game should be played. Far Cry 5 should have been an evolution of this series, but instead it tries to ride on a format that should have ended with 4. There is fun to be had, but its shortcomings make me long for games that have done this much better since, like Metal Gear Solid V. There's even a silly joke when climbing the only radio tower in the game... something along the lines of like "don't worry, I'm not gonna make you climb towers all over the valley" which, to be fair, is exactly the sort of thing I was thinking about. No, I wasn't climbing towers, but I was basically doing all the other same shit. The story is... annoying, too. Like, it's exceedingly fucking stupid in a bad way. Not that the story pretends that it makes sense, but, really-- NOTHING makes any damn sense in this story. At some point, all the stupid shit that everyone was saying was just breezing over my head. It's all the same stuff since Far Cry 3, too: monologues from vaguely psychotic looking dudes who maintain eye contact the entire time. It's a great idea, but it only really worked out with the main baddie this time-- Joseph. That's to say that there's too much time spent on pointless dudes and not enough on the striking charisma of the main guy. In a way, I guess that basically sums up my feelings on the whole thing: Far Cry 5 feels like a misguided, uneven waste of talent across the board. There is so much potential for the premise in this game but it's squandered on **bad** writing, outdated jank and tons of frustrating glitches. Maybe next time? Some stray thoughts: - I **loved** Joseph Seed, from his design to his dialogue, and ESPECIALLY the fantastic work done by his actor. Actually, all of the main baddies have some excellent talent behind them-- just that the story and writing don't back them up. - I gasped "oh my god" at the ending I got. For how absolutely stupid the rest of the game is, that one moment at the very end was amazing. - It might sound like I hated this game, but I had a lot of fun playing it. It's just that its flaws are really, **really** starting to weigh the whole thing down.
• March 24th • PlayStation 4 • ✓ Completed all tracks Uhh... OK.