The TurboMento-12: Bonk's Adventure

I call buzz_clik "BC Kid" a lot. I don't think he appreciates it.

Hey all, welcome to Bonk's Adventure. There's our hero, asleep in the big O. Aw, he's so peaceful. Soon put an end to that.So Bonk's a guy with one huge asset: his colossal coconut. Most of his offensive capabilities are based around headbutts - he has a standard headbutt attack and a diving headbutt as seen above, but he can also damage enemies just by hitting them from underneath.This creepy moon can be seen in every level if you jump high enough. This screenshot right here is actually foreshadowing. (I can't believe I had the wherewithal to think this far in advance, honestly.)So here's where we get most of our items - those little red plant things. Unfortunately, they sometimes turn into the grinning terrors you see on the left, so some caution is necessary.This is Bonk's other big gimmick: the meat. Eating a small piece of meat transforms Bonk into a considerably more badass version of himself. Not only does he hit harder, but by hitting the ground with his head he can stun all enemies on the screen briefly.He also has this little determined scowl. There's an even more powerful third form as well, which we'll see a little later. Alas, these transformations are only temporary.This is how Bonk climbs walls. With his teeth. In fact, he does a lot of things with his teeth. It's damn eerie.We find this oddly colored ground towards the end of 1-2. Like we just walked into Golden Axe or something.Yup, belongs to this guy. Whacking him on the head opens his mouth, which is where we need to go next. Marching right into the mouths of carnivores definitely sounds like a plan.These little uvula guys are the absolute pits. You can't hurt them; you can only walk underneath them when they're dangling to the side like that. Get hit? It's an entire heart gone, and those things don't grow on trees (they grow inside plants FYI).Case in point. When Bonk dies, he just kind of froths at the mouth then lies perfectly still. In an interesting if slightly unsettling twist, the player can decide to wake him up whenever they feel like continuing.Anyway, we eventually find the dinosaur's, uh, "exit" and find the first of these skull elevators.For every world but the last, they lead to the boss chamber for that chapter.And here's our first boss, Huey. Real mental giant this one. It doesn't play in static screenshots, but every boss wears a flashing helmet and you need to keep bopping them on the head until it eventually breaks and disappears.Huey's chief weapon are his snot bubbles. Slow and predictable. Future bosses won't be as kind. They will be just as goofy-looking, however.Anyway, the big guy eventually goes all technicolor and...He's revealed to be a nice fellow who just got brainwashed. Gee wiz indeed.No problem big guy. Happy to help. Certainly wasn't self-defense or anything.Aw shucks, I--what?

Plenty more of the game to go. What awaits our mightily-domed hero? Will he keep pulling terrifying faces? And how long can I go on pretending that everyone doesn't already know this game? Like with Neutopia last time, I'll keep on posting new screenshots in the comments below. Thankfully this game is nowhere near the length of Neutopia: in part because there's way fewer badly translated NPCs to talk to. Fewer, not zero.