Kobayashi Mario Goes Hawaiian (Part Two)

As I step out onto the sandy beaches and sip some papaya juice in this, uh, seasonably cold -4° February weather I'm once again faced with the consequences of my own actions, starting this little quest of mine figuring that I'd have some fun sweeping up the easy achievements in the first half of the game without it somehow crossing my mind that I'd eventually have to navigate my way through Noki Bay's confusing cliffside mazes or the great foreboding underside of the frequently-imperiled Pianta Village. Well, the Coo Coos have definitely come home to roost now with this conclusive second part to Kobayashi Mario Goes Hawaiian (man, I hope people still get that reference—or I guess I should say reference to a reference, since Beetlejuice was riffing on the Gidget movies). Part One was here by the by.

I left you all last week having swept up the available Shines, Blue Coins, and achievements pertaining to the first two courses—Bianco Hills and Ricco Harbor—as well as those available in the sizeable hub area that is Delfino Plaza. I sort of underestimated the distribution of notable achievements in this set when pacing this feature: each course only has on average about four or five apiece if you take out the standard progression stuff. With that in mind, instead of a tiny entry that only covered two or three courses I expanded this entry's purview to the rest of the game: that's courses three through seven (the seventh, Pianta Village, has the most of these distinctive achievements presumably owing to its higher difficulty) and the final Bowser confrontation at the retroactively unfortunate Corona Mountain followed by some miscellaneous post-game round-up. The goal is nothing short of total domination of this set. How'd I fare? Well, I guess you'd have to keep reading. Or skip to the end. I'm not telling you what to do; it's a vacation after all.

Gelato Beach

Sand Bomb Blast (25)

"Open the Dune Bud Sand Castle secret while standing on a palm tree and enter without touching the sand in Episode 1 of Gelato Beach"

I'd like to purport that Gelato Beach is the most comparatively chill out of the five courses we're doing today but then I immediately remembered that this area had both an Il Piantissimo race and that whole affair with shoving around the extremely fragile watermelon past some disagreeable ducks so now my hackles are all the way back up. As if to underline that feeling of dread we're starting today with what is perhaps, if not the hardest, then at least the most obnoxious achievement so far.

The way this one works is that you have to bounce off the stunned Cataquacks to stay off the sand as well as make it all the way to the sandcastle, which spawns on the beach tip far away from the palm trees. Unfortunately, the Cataquacks like to wander around and do their own thing so it's often a miracle whenever they're lined up to an extent that you can Hover Nozzle between them in a sequence and get to the sandcastle entrance. Exacerbating this is the extremely strict time limit the sandcastle gives you before it vanishes: however, there's one small loophole here that, as long as you haven't touched sand in the meanwhile, you can re-activate the sandcastle as many times as you need to. Best practice was to stun a Cataquack near the dune bud that makes the castle appear, hang out until the sandcastle goes away after the initial activation from the palm tree, re-activate it while hopping on the nearby Cataquack (very carefully), then try to make a break for the castle afterwards. Took a lot of tries and probably around an hour of work. Gelato Beach, huh? That'll teach me to underestimate this place.

Exasperometer: 8

Hay Fever (10)

"Beat Il Piantissimo's initial time of 35 seconds in Episode 5 of Gelato Beach without touching grass or using F.L.U.D.D."

Right, this asshole. Kinda figured there'd be some speedrun-type achievements for his races, since there were also several for Koopa the Quick. Not touching grass isn't a problem (I mean, have you seen how often I blog?) but it's getting the altered route down within that short time frame and without using the Hover Nozzle to correct for any small errors. Again, this is one that requires a little bit of practice but at least you can do it without resorting to glitch tech. My time in the end was around 28 seconds, so failing to adhere to the parameters is probably what's likely to disqualify you more than being too late.

Exasperometer: 5

The Rise of the Great Cataquack Army... (5)

"Have 10 Cataquacks chase you at the same time in Episode 8 of Gelato Beach"

...The Fall of the Great Cataquack Army (5)

"Sink 15 Cataquacks at the same time in Episode 8 of Gelato Beach"

Here we have two achievements that are presented by the Cataquacks and by just the concept of suffering in general. The first needs you to have ten of these horrors pursuing Mario at once which wouldn't be an issue except they're the most ADD-addled things on the whole island and will quickly lose interest if you gain too much ground on them, which you'll do to the ones in the back of the crowd because you're trying to prevent the ones in the front from getting close enough to flip you. The second achievement is even harder, since you also need to find five extras to sink in addition to the ten already following you: since there's only so many on the beach, you sorta have to go around corralling the ones higher up where the greenery is and get them to accidentally stumble down to beach level. Takes some time and a lot of patience, and 5 points feels way too small an amount for either.

Exasperometer: 7

Pinna Park

Star Attraction (5)

"Defeat Mecha-Bowser in Episode 1 of Pinna Park within one lap of the Roller Coaster"

Pinna Park is probably my favorite course in the game—right level of challenge, no bottomless pits outside the secret zones to halt a 100-coin run dead in its tracks, and I just like the idea of running roughshod around an amusement park—and for as intimidating as this first challenge is, it just demands some accuracy. I think you can get away with maybe one or two misses (and, naturally, you need to make sure to fire what you have before hitting the next missile pick-up on the track) but once you're used to the barfy swinging camera motion that's the main hurdle cleared.

Exasperometer: 4

Nice Place You Got Here (10)

"Enter The Beach Cannon's Secret in Episode 2 of Pinna Park without picking up a Bob-omb"

This is the one where you need to defeat a mole enemy that's tossing Bob-ombs and Bullet Bills your way and jump in the now-empty cannon afterwards. I struggled with this for a while until I pulled a Taskmaster and carefully reconsidered the wording of this achievement directive. Rather than try to glitch your way in while the mole is still there, the timing of which is insanely tight, you can just walk behind the cannon and let his own homing Bob-ombs stroll back around and explode right next to him. It's still in the spirit of the achievement, since I never touched them.

Exasperometer: 3

Power Nap (5)

"Complete Episode 5 of Pinna Park without climbing on any vertical fences"

This was one of those "shortcuts" I used to employ back when I was playing the game casually. There's a whole mess of these climbable vertical fences around the back of the Ferris wheel ride that you're meant to negotiate... except you can just leap to the top, where the electric koopa thing you need to defeat is sitting, from the scaffolding around the pirate ship ride. Deceptively easy, but then it is a 5-pointer, and I appreciate that I'm not the only one who took one look at all those fences and noped out of there. It's surprising how many challenges can be quickly sequence-broken with just a turn-jump and wall-jump combo.

Exasperometer: 2

Hot-Headed (5)

"Stomp on 3 Smolderin' Stus at once after flipping them in Pinna Park and collect the the 1-Up that appears"

On paper this is about as tough as all the other Stu 1-Up achievements except the smolderin' aspect—which means they're on fire initially—adds more complications. Issue is, as soon as you douse the flame it takes the fight out of them and they start wandering away in opposite directions to each other. In addition, if you were to spray them immediately again after dousing the flames, it sends them flying. So you have to douse them, then wait just long enough to avoid the whole "sending them flying" thing but while they're still in relatively close proximity so you can flip them and get the three-kill stomp. It ended up reaching Cataquack levels of frustrating CPU behavior to overcome.

Exasperometer: 6

Sirena Beach

Only Up! (5)

"Enter The Hotel Lobby's Secret in Episode 2 of Sirena Beach without wall-jumping or using F.L.U.D.D."

There's presentational stuff I like about the Sirena Beach level, which more or less fills in for the ghost houses of previous games, such as that eerie giant 2D manta ray that recalled that one shadow Angel from Evangelion or how thoroughly the Boos messed up an otherwise normal hotel, but it's usually a confusing maze that I find I have less patience with as I get older and grouchier.

The normal way to get into this secret is to spray the pink Boos so they turn into platforms (the rules are always weird for Boos) and use those to enter the mouth of a Boo statue at the top of the lobby area. The shortcut way is to use the wall-jumps against the central totem pole to cheat your way up to the top floor and use the Hover Nozzle to just float into the statue instead. Neither approach is allowed here, so instead you have to jump on top of the Boos and spring yourself up; harder than it sounds, since the floating Boos are hard to reach and hitting anything besides the very top of them will just knock your ass back down to the ground floor again.

Exasperometer: 5

Modern Art (5)

"Paint King Boo with all 3 different colors of goop in Episode 5 of Sirena Beach"

An unexpectedly cute achievement this far into the run? Well, it's going to be nothing but pain once I reach Noki Bay and Pianta Village so I'll enjoy it while I can. In the King Boo fight, which takes place on a giant roulette wheel, the way to do damage is to wait until fruit shows up on his slot machine—causing an avalanche of Vitamin C—and then toss a chili pepper into his mouth to disorient him long enough to bean him with a fruit. Hitting him with a fruit first just briefly turns him into that fruit's color (same as Yoshi): the idea is to wang him with all three Yoshi colors of pink, orange, and purple, the latter of which requires leaping into a durian at the right angle to catch him with it. That's it though; no big complicated maneuvers or really any more RNG than is already in this fight.

Exasperometer: 2

Jackpot! (10)

"Ground Pound many Strollin' Stus at once after flipping them in Sirena Beach and collect the third 1-Up that appears

I kinda did this without thinking in the Episode 2 secret zone. There's a clump of them right at the start and I needed some extra lives after dying a few times attempting the red coin challenge. These appear to be the only Stus where smushing three gets you three 1-Ups instead of two. Maybe Supper Mario Broth knows the reason why?

Exasperometer: 2

Pressure Washing Pro (10)

"Scrub the beach clean with at least 1 minute left on the timer in Episode 6 of Sirena Beach without refilling F.L.U.D.D. (no emulation glitch)"

This one took a while. Well, four attempts, but that might as well be an eternity. Trick here was to make sure the R/L Analogs were properly customized in Dolp... uh, I mean, remembering that I could partially hold down the triggers on this legitimate GameCube controller to spray while walking around. Between that and employing the dozen or so barrels as makeshift water grenades, you can clear out much of the goop quickly without draining the tank (which is a condition here so you don't just shotgun blast the whole mess away in thirty seconds) and within the time limit. Incidentally, you have three minutes to complete this Shine normally, so keeping within 2/3rds is a reasonable enough ask for an achievement.

Exasperometer: 4

Noki Bay

Simple and Clean (10)

"Complete Episode 1 of Noki Bay without revealing any hidden platforms or touching any goop"

Everyone's favorite aquatic Mario course is up next, with Noki Bay having five course-specific challenges to overcome in addition to the usual collectathon assortment. Though I stopped covering the 1-Up achievements, there's actually two separate ones here for the four 1-Ups you can get on Episodes 4, 5, 7, and 8 and the one that's exclusive to Episode 6.

This first achievement is mostly to get used to the course's unique brand of bullshit. This has you climbing up the cliffside to defeat another one of those cannon moles, this time spitting out grody koosh balls that continue to spread goop everywhere. Avoiding the goop is already tough enough but not activating any of the hidden platforms—which can be summoned with the merest hint of a splash—makes it dangerous to use the Hover Nozzle too close to the walls. Knowing where those platforms can be summoned and just being cautious with where you step/hover is key here. Hopefully, if the Blight Boys/Hyrule Hustle Hombres ever decide to take on this achievement set for a streaming feature, they'll make Grubb sing this one's namesake tune throughout.

Exasperometer: 5

Surprise Attack (10)

"Complete Episode 2 of Noki Bay without revealing the hidden path or grabbing the springboard"

The odd conditions this time are due to having to take a shortcut with the Rocket Nozzle, since the standard track involves the verboten hidden path, but the easiest way to get to the nozzle involves a springboard—which, given the phrasing, suggests you'd be fine just using it as-is rather than picking it up and taking it somewhere more advantageous but I didn't want to risk voiding the attempt. With an audacious enough jump and Hover Nozzle combo you can just about reach the Rocket Nozzle from higher up the path taken for Episode 1, and in the same area closer to where the mole was use the Rocket Nozzle to get right up to where the Big Blooper rematch takes place. One of the few "navigational challenges" this set has offered so far and a pretty cool test of one's resourcefulness.

Exasperometer: 3

Aquagenic Urticaria (10)

"Beat Il Piantissimo's initial time of 40 seconds in Episode 5 of Noki Bay without swimming or using the Hover Nozzle"

This asshole again. He challenges you to a race that involves crossing the bay: heading directly to the flagpole makes it very difficult to avoid dropping into the water, especially since you can't hover between the bobbing platforms. Instead, you need to figure out how to curve around the track in such a way that minimizes the risk of any sudden dips without losing too much time taking a roundabout path. Fortunately, this will be the last time I'll have to see this strange little cosplaying, trash-talking piece of... aw hell, he's in Pianta Village too, isn't he?

There's a few approaches for this, in decreasing order of difficulty: 1) Hop across the floating Noki houses with a combination triple-jump and dive-jump (that's when you press A+B simultaneously and Mario just Superman leaps—at the end of a triple-jump you can get a lot of air with it). Since that requires a cracked level of accuracy to pull off twice in succession, there's also 2) where you climb up the cliff and leap off the waterfall platform to where the boat shop is and walk along the cliff behind it to get to the flag, giving you seconds to spare and that's only if you don't mess up any jumps along the way. 3) The last, and cheekiest, is to do the second method but without initiating the race and instead steal the boat that's there and position it somewhere close to where the race starts so you can jump in and just motorboat your way directly to the destination no problem. Method three takes the longest to set up (and still has a few nailbiting moments) but was by far the easiest for me to pull off. Just goes to show, when it comes to swimming contests always, always check the rules to see if they prohibit boats. It's a killer ploy.

Exasperometer: 6

What the Shell?! (5)

"Enter The Shell's Secret in Episode 6 of Noki Bay without using any ropes or the Rocket Nozzle"

The bouncy ropes are the usual method of reaching this high-up conch shell and its entrance and the Rocket Nozzle is the most obvious shortcut around it (since I've used it once before already). So, instead, how about we go full circle and take the route for the second episode that the Rocket Nozzle skipped over? This involves the hidden paths up to where you'd fight the Big Blooper, but the higher hidden path area gives you just enough height and proximity to the big shell to just leap over there. I had to dive right at the end of the jump and barely made it on there but it worked.

Exasperometer: 3

Pure Platforming (10)

"Collect the normal Shine Sprite in The Shell's Secret in Episode 6 of Noki Bay without using the pole, the rope, or F.L.U.D.D."

Even after getting to the secret, the strict limitation traversal challenges don't end. Might as well do this on your first visit since you won't have F.L.U.D.D. regardless. There's only one spot where these rules apply and it's fairly early on (mercifully) where you're meant to climb a pole and then jump on a rope to get higher, and this challenge wants you to skip both. Only possible route I found was to triple-jump at a wall at just the perfect angle that you can grab the edge of an outcropping that only goes a little ways out: it's nigh-pixel perfect but I couldn't see any other way to proceed. Definitely spent the good side of an hour on this one, though at least the rope skip is much easier and the rest of the course is normal. It is still one of the hardest F.L.U.D.D.-less secret zones but I managed to not screw up the rest of it once I'd finally nailed that tricky jump for the first time.

Exasperometer: 8

Pianta Village

Back to Basics (5)

"Enter Pianta Village from Delfino Plaza using only the Hover Nozzle"

It's the hardest level in the game, owing mostly to the fact that its underside is an absolute death trap of insta-kill drops, so you better believe most of the game's specific episode-based achievements are here. Seven, in fact, which is the same number as Bianco Hills. This one achivement's not so bad if you're decent enough at the game's oddly inconsistent triple-jump.

Exasperometer: 2

Remember, Always Be Kind to Your Pets! (5)

"Complete Episode 1 of Pianta Village without stunning any Chain Chomplets"

Just don't bounce them off any walls, really. My usual strategy with this Shine is to get them close to the pool (by antagonizing them with a spray) and then it's super easy to drop them in. Well, unless you step in their fire poop while trying to rev them back for a toss.

Exasperometer: 2

Pianta-line (25)

"Reach the flagpole in Episode 2 of Pianta Village while only touching tree trunks past the first Pianta"

I knew some BS was coming, and I should've figured that Il Piantissimo would be its harbinger. Despite featuring in Episode 2, the pint-sized pronto punk doesn't actually have any relevancy to this particular achievement, however, which has a description that is wildly off-base. When it says "only touching tree trunks" what it actually means "and also Pianta". Goal here is to leap off the heads of a series of Pianta to reach the flagpole (opposite side of the village, over the onsen) in what is one of the more excruciating games of "the floor is lava" I've played yet—ironically, this being one of the few Pianta Village episodes where lava isn't a genuine threat.

Seeing this route in action with the little demo video RA was kind enough to provide had my jaw on the floor throughout. It's an extremely precise, extremely strict path of head-bouncing, which the game assuredly didn't anticipate anyone to use as platforms since it's far too easy to overjudge a hop and fall off, and a real piece of work. It's also brilliant, and the designer of the achievement was decent enough to reset the fail trigger if you touched grass or anything more solid than one of those perturbing potato people or a tree by simply walking back to the starting line. Still meant a lot of restarts though. Just... wow, that was an ordeal and a half.

Exasperometer: 10

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome (5)

"Complete Episode 3 of Pianta Village without going under the village or taking damage"

The critical requirement here is "no taking damage" because there's a bunch of ways to damage boost your way to a quick win. In case you forgot (which strikes me as very likely, because who'd want to retain anything about Pianta Village?) this is the episode where you're immediately stripped of F.L.U.D.D. and have to navigate around a village full of lava goop. If you make your way to the river and pond area you can actually use the water there to sprinkle the nearby lava with spin jumps and eventually make a safe route to where your robotic pal awaits.

Exasperometer: 5

Chain Chomp Whisperer (10)

"Have the Chain Chomp jump into the spa in Episode 4 of Pianta Village while standing on the dirt path"

This is a weird one. The usual approach is to drag the big Chain Chomp by its chain into the onsen after you've calmed it down by spraying it. Moment you head towards the onsen you're off the dirt path stipulated by the challenge. Seems the idea is to force the Chain Chomp to head towards the onsen by cutting off its path (that is, standing in front of it so it turns away) and then quickly grabbing and letting go of the chain before it can drag you off the path. Like, for a split second. That's apparently enough to trigger it into jumping in the onsen on its own(sen). I guess the achievement maker wanted us to know you could glitch him out like that but it made for an odd inclusion (and usually glitch tech achievements get their own set to hang out in).

Exasperometer: 3

Horticulture Hero (25)

"Rescue all the Piantas in Episode 6 of Pianta Village while only touching treetops and red mushrooms past the bridge"

This. This is the hump. If you're not confident you can get the full RA achievement set for this game, this is the one to test that hypothesis on. Not only is it incredibly tough to get around town without ever touching the ground but you have to judiciously conserve your water like you're wandering the desert since the goal is to spray down ten Pianta villagers. That also means relying mostly on very accurate spin-jumps (definitely not my forte) to make up for much of the distance that the Hover Nozzle would normally cover, since the latter uses up water like crazy. Oh, right, and you have to do all this within three minutes too. Even with the route down pat this took a while and, unlike the glitchy Pianta-line, it's both an endurance and a skill challenge rolled into one. It's not the most exasperating achievement (it's a neat concept if a bit hardcore) but it's definitely the hardest. But hey, you don't have to take my word for it that I eventually got this one, as I've included another video below.

Exasperometer: 9

Common Courtesy (5)

"Collect the Shine Sprite in Secret of the Village Underside without enraging any Chucksters"

A useful trick with this secret zone, which has Chucksters everywhere ready to throw you to the next floating island, is to spray or hop onto a walking Chuckster to temporarily stop him moving around to make it easier to line up throws. Can't do that here, so this one's novel in that it's actually about doing a challenge the intended way instead. Given it is the expected method to do things, though, it's not the hardest achievement and really comes as something of a relief after the 25-pointers in this course.

Exasperometer: 3

Rush to Relaxation (5)

"Dive into the hot spring directly from the Shine Sprite platform during the daytime in Pianta Village"

This one's just fun, though it takes a while to get back up to the platform mentioned for another shot. Just a big ol' Hail Mary dive from high up into a fairly small pool like the classic circus act. Lining it up horizontally is most of the challenge here, since you can just about adjust your forward momentum in-flight. (Also, it stipulates "daytime" but as far as I know the only episode that has the Rocket Nozzle you need is the eighth and final one; maybe after completing 8 once the Rocket Nozzle will appear in the others retroactively?).

Exasperometer: 2

Corona Mountain + Clean-Up

Old School Style (3)

"Stomp on a Guided Bullet Bill in Corona Mountain and collect the 1-Up that appears"

Ten Blue Coins, three normal 1-Ups, and this special "you can do this?" bonus are all that's required at Corona Mountain besides toppling the Bowser family from their ridiculous volcano jacuzzi. It's a standard enough course but for the level of difficulty (since it's the finale and everything). Nothing too crazy from the achievement-makers here, at least.

Exasperometer: 2

Chasing the Bag (5)

"Spray and defeat all 17 Green Birds in Delfino Plaza during the flood or after visiting Corona Mountain in one visit"

I like the wording of this one. "Defeat". Like this is a pitch battle between heated rivals rather than just Mario being a jerk to birds by torturing them to death with a high-powered jet of water. The green birds are available in the normal Delfino Plaza (as well as some blue ones, and a single yellow) but there's more of them after the Corona Mountain flooding incident for some reason. Nothing much to it, besides running around cackling like a maniac as you wipe out the native parakeet population.

Exasperometer: 1

Optometrist Approved (2)

"Borrow a pair of sunglasses from a Pianta"

Ready to Party (3)

"Borrow a tropical shirt from a Pianta"

Two post-game achievements not everyone who played this game might know about—like Yoshi in Mario 64, it's not something you might think to go look for since you already have a completed save file. There's a dude who gives you both of these sitting around a Delfino beach somewhere (the shades guy is also near the start of Bianco Hills).

Exasperometer: 2 (for trying to find the right Pianta)

Just Like Old Times (1)

"Climb to the very top of the flagpole in the Delfino Airstrip"

There's a couple more things to do in Delfino Airstrip that only appear in the post-game, including the last Shine and last Blue Coin respectively. You can also just climb the flagpole too: not sure whether I could've done this when the game started as well, but now's as good a time as any. Kind of a little victory lap, you might say.

Exasperometer: 1

Have a Relaxing Vacation! (5)

"Collect all 120 Shines Sprites and beat the game to view the alternate ending"

The "alternate ending" isn't one where F.L.U.D.D. becomes a real boy or anything, it's just a splash screen of the entire cast telling you to go enjoy your vacation, whether you happen to be on vacation or not. I guess the sentiment is what matters? Either way, it means I can take a vacation from this game for a while.

Exasperometer: 1

-aaand with that, our journey through the standard achievement set of Super Mario Sunshine is complete. This was a fun one, mostly because I didn't have to scrounge coins from every source like I did with Super Mario 64—though it might be worth pointing out here that RetroAchievements did later separate the "all coins" achievements from that core set too—and difficulty-wise it's still a good deal more approachable than, say, Donkey Kong 64 and its no-damage boss runs. More palatable in general too, perhaps, though you might be surprised to learn that the many ways Sunshine could feel like unpolished jank aren't mitigated much at all when you're forced to jump through some very challenging hoops. And if I never have to do one of those accursed spin-jumps ever again...

Well, that's about it for Part Two and thanks to you all for reading and following along with these misbegotten misadventures. Be sure to post in the comments about your own travails with this set, or just feel free to shower me with compliments for getting this whole set done (lemme just cross off "be less insecure" from my New Year's resolutions real quick...).

See you again in Part Three! (Wait... there's gonna be a Part Three?)

Current Totals

• Shines: 120 (of 120) / 100%
• Blue Coins: 240 (of 240) / 100%
• Achievements: 148 (of 148) / 100%
• Hardest Achievement: "Horticulture Hero"