You vs Vampires vs Blogging (win free thing)

Hey there faithful following. Do you like free stuff? How about conditional free stuff? Well that is what I have today. I have, in my steam inventory, a copy of Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines, that one heavily flawed RPG that people seem to like a lot after the application of a fan-patch. The conditions? You must engage in a battle for the ages with in blog form. With who? I haven't figured that out yet (maybe @Mento, since he did so well last time with his Temple of Elemental Evil commission) Not me, even though I haven't finished (read: played more than 2 hours) it yet. I'm too busy playing questionable games like Might and Magic IX and thinking about writing about 4X games to deal with such. Maybe a blog battle with yourself?

The conditions? Write a 500 word essay about any person, historical or otherwise, who you would like to have a blogging battle concerning vampires with. Bonus points if they are an established writer, not that bonus points mean anything. The person with the most persuasive thing will get the game. If you already own Vampire the Masquerade, you could possibly volunteer to be the competitor in question, even if you've beaten it before. I dunno. Just... get this off my hands.