Electric Boobie-Soft Press Conference Dual Supplementals!!

Electronic Arts Press Conference

Electronic Arts, like previous years focus on the online social media play with the unveiling on EA Origin, last year or so and the attempts to broaden EA Sports on online sports interaction. This year is the same albeit surprising less casual games that previous conferences tend to be and this year, all of the conferences did not have a moment where they look at statistics that long as last decade. There are some surprises and some disappointments, it was a fairly balanced show, if the meaning fairly balancing was loose then yes, it was that sort of thing.

The EA press conference started off with a montage of games and John Riccitiello, or a rather tired and sick John Ricotello being sick and tired of being that type of guy saying stuff like this is “the Sundance of press conference” which is pulling too far, I say that this conference was fairly balance but it is no closer than a generic Academy Awards – which seems evident considering all of the presenters in these press conference act like fucking robots that read teleprompters only and not script it.

Anyways the first game was Dead Space 3, unveiling the gameplay portion to it and it’s more space than you thought it would be and more interaction. It seems like the game has more interaction thanks to its new campaign co-op play and it looks like it works in this game due to the previous Dead Space’s multiplayer and how you could easily get the co-op aspect going of assisting your team-mates and finding ways to defeat a spherely monster which you have to aim it’s orange glow thingy inside. The co-op, however makes the atmosphere, tension and horror to be lacking, well the game did felt like Lost Planet with it’s opening to bigger environments rather than space facility with tight corridors and wonder what they will do for “monster closets” which happens to be apparent from the previous games. The demo shows up from fighting that glowy dude to fighting a gigantic necromorph beast and hearing a lot of interaction with your co-op partner/AI and the added plus of drop-in, drop-out multiplayer which is neat. I almost felt like its not a Dead Space game at times, the fact that people are not brutally mutilated and the fact that there are chatter of people felt like some sort of generic space game. Dead Space is about that tension and scary moments fused by the fun gameplay portions but this felt like something out of Lost Planet. Although through the end, it becomes more grosser when Isaac gets devoured into the beast and you get that claustrophobic feeling inside and presumably be like that Gears 2 part. There are still elements of Dead Space like telekinesis to stasis freeze and it works well to have it with co-op when the Necromorphs are harder to kill. The game will be released on February of next year.

Madden 13 kicks off with Terry Tate? Rapping while old football footage is shown which was boring. Then they brought up Michael Irving which looks like he’s on drugs and presumably talking off-script, if off-script was being more fucking annoying and basically getting pumped for this game. The game features a new engine, the Infinity engine along with Run-time physics, better animations, interaction through Kinect or such, regain balance, connected careers, social media with fake twitter syncing and a storyline? That part was really odd to me and the fact that they did not talk much about the storyline befuzzles me. BUT YOU COULD PLAY AS FUCKIING JOHN MADDEN.

Maxis’ Lucy Bradshaw comes into stage for both SimCity and SimCity Social and to “bring the SimCity franchise back from those fifthly imitators.” SimCity Social is yet another one of a hundred Facebook games that is more “ville than farm” mocking Farmville and it also looks the sorts of Farmville although SimCity has a phrase of that sort of cartoonish look to it, in all Maxis games in general. Now onto the new SimCity which I really wanted them to NOT unveil that announcement before E3 because it would be more impact to me getting more pumped up if they have Bradshaw showing a world premier trailer of SimCity; I really hate that sort of thing. The game which has been shown screenshots before has exciting features like constructible worlds, turny roads, a better simulation and data visualization which is quite impressive, city specialization and multiplayer play which I did not really see what portion of the game was multiplayer but only that that portion of the game impacts your world and others or something. There are also dynamic challenges, more roads and highways, pollution will probably be a problem and DISASTERS with dinosaurs being an added part. SimCity had been always a definitive buy for me and I think the game sells itself without the added features – it makes it more better but just building your city is remarkable by itself. However I did cringe when they show a text number to dial to “name a burger joint” and it was that moment where my momentum for that game dropped even though I am still going to play that game, the fact that it turns into some sort of American Idol, “text this number to vote for your favourite singer” is so last decade and I was shocked that they did not say something about facebook/twitter into naming something stupid.

Anyways, the real What the fuck moment was when Jason West in the audience and John calling out on him because I guess they might to doing something in the future? It seems like the Activision suit hit them hard to the point where they have to be audience members that get called out.

Peter Moore comes out and showcases a new Battlefield 3 multiplayer service, Battlefield Premium – at first it does seem like a rip from CoD EXP with customizable content for your guy and maps but it is an expansion pack and the hilarious part of this is that Peter Moore pulls a Sega move, announcing that these exclusive maps and Premium is now live via early access and for 50 bucks with three expansions; Close Quarters and other two names I forgot about.

The real sad, desperate moment is when Bioware’s Doctor Ray comes out alone and pleas to everyone to play Star Wars: The Old Republic which is just sad and pathetic and even the other Doctor wasn’t there to help him from his miserable speech. It was a waste of time, only talking about fake stats of Republic being number One of the MMORPGs when obviously WoW has that cornered and a new game update featuring more PVPs and game updates and also a trial up to level 15 for free which isn’t a steal considering WoW is now free to play until level 20, a boost more than 15. (way to look at your competitors.

Medal of Honour Warfighter was premiered, showing gameplay and I did not really get excited for it, it just comes out like some sort of generic FPS shooter like the previous game that “tries to bring back their FPS roots” but failed to do so. And so they made a new engine for this game called Frostbite engine and I would think its for the multiplayer or something considering how there are fucking two companies working on a single game which I did not really care for when DICE had worked for the online element of the previous game. Warfighter has Tier operators and a surprising amount of beards and the fact that they are going global or that they are basing events on real life which seems to be the focus for this game along with other incentive gameplay elements that the game lacks in the demo. The demo sets up in Somalia presumably where the movie Black Hawk Down is happening, probably will find those three guys that are stranded somewhere and it looks like there are elements and scripted moments from Modern Warfare with explosions and Michael Bay chaos and havoc exploding on your face. The new feature is Breach, you could choose a tool, presumably explosive to breach the door and I would think there is a silent breach function but this is a Medal of Honour game and it lacks a stealth mechanic. There is also a remote controlled robot that shoots guns and again not really enticing, although the global aspect where you could play different countries like Canada is neat but not remarkably fun.

EA Sports showcases media on games integration, old sports footage and Football social network, Fifa functionally that carries EXP from the previous game and can transfer to this one, a Iphone App. There is a world premier of Fifa 13 and added features such as a player impact engine and other features. What is big announcement is that EA is now partnering up with UFC as THQ had drop it and Dana White came on and was pumping up this deal.

NFS Most Wanted 2 was more Need for Speed and it looks like Dirt meets this game but the demo where they had to name British family members had suck all the fun out of the game and the fact that the fucking presenter had to say “GOD SAVE THE QUEEN” at the fucking end. It releases on the October the 30 and finally Crytek shows up Crysis 3 with new environment, weapons, same suit features, more action to gameplay, and slick and impressive looking graphics and OH THERE IS A FUCKING BOW, A FUTURISTIC BOW REALLY!!!

Ubisoft Press Conference

The Ubisoft press conference made me speechless, the amount of actual games and less “pretentiousness” shown in this year’s E3 was like a fever dream to me, the fact that they did not hire some douchebag or some Caffeniated crack addict was actually surprising. The intro started off with presumably the Frag Dolls that they had stashed in that frenchie president’s closet, dancing to the new Just Dance game and had three panels of them dancing separate songs doing a sort of a concert with actual gameplay unlike Microsoft.

The host is Aisha from Archer and she was actually a decent and good host but having some idiot from youtube that at first I thought it was Tosh.o was really awkward and had made a staple for more awkward and lame jokes ahead with his interaction with Aisha.

Dan Hay shows up Far Cry 3 trailer and gameplay which is the most talked about trailer due to the fact that it starts off with a naked woman showing her boobs and your character groping them while she is doing some weird some tribal, sexual tension and tattoos. The graphics like any Crytek engine game is gorgeous and making it a tribal sort of game with bows and being a prey works well in the luscious jungle environment. The finishes or the execution moves performed by the player is a quick translation like other similar games had shown. Now, the game takes a dark and twisted turn with a weird, odd antagonist shows up in multiple television sets conveniently placed on the destroyed building you just walked in which had sprung a trap. There are also tigers AND FLAMING TIGERS in this game that could be released from their cage to attack nearby enemies including you which you could amount the deaths of tigers with your QTE stabbing motions. After dispatching a heavy flame-thrower dude, you go inside searching for this odd-ball and HE FUCKKING stabs you with a flaming knife and you collapses. You then wake up in this insane, Persona/Psyconauts looking world/fever dream where you are haunted by shadows of your past self and presumably the antagonist forcing you the pull the trigger. This game seems to not be like Far Cry or anything like it, I mean how did they think of adding messed up shit into a game that was a stealth based game with luscious environments and dynamic AI and such-then turned into a weird wacky fever dream? Did they took Borderlands or something and swipe the wackiness to this game, I mean, why the fuck would you add this shit to this game? There are also other animals to kill in the jungle.

Blacklist is showed again and Toby seems to be annoying as fuck, there is a CG trailer and Fisher is still smoking fools and Echieons that makes Aisha “Gurl Wood.” There is a premier for a new Avengers game which is CG in Fall 2012 for the Wii U. Rayman is also shown to be for the Wii U will an also demonstration of gameplay and how the musical part at the ending was fucking awesome, I really want this game and a Wii U to play this game!

There is premier for Zombi U, presumably a survival horror action game that seems to dumbfound me into thinking that it was a Dead Island sequel with the way the graphics are and the expositions shown in the trailer with the British National Anthem?

Assassin Creed 3 still amazes me with a eagle taken from Stephen Colbert flying in the air while a battle rages on against the British and the Americans or the Thirteen Colonies. And then fucking Connor appears, leaping into the battlefield where the Americans had retreated with a single horse against an army or a battalion of red-coats, aiming at him but missing and single-handedly killing the captain and the battalion itself which is a what the fuck moment, even the trailer admits the ridiculous from the American which were clueless why Connor would do such a thing. There are more bows and a gameplay part where you use a bow to hunt a deer to skin, Red Dead Redemption style and it sets up in New England. The environment, looks slick and leaping off trees seems to never disappoint. After skinning a deer, Connor arrives to a camp where that was his objective (retaining the quest system from Brotherhood) and some storyline elements where he must find templars to kill. This proceed him to get on his horse and charge and infiltrate a fort where a templar is walking into the fort, I really like the grapple executable move that they use to finish the templar and the new kill moves that Connor has with his hatchet.

There is a exclusive game of Shootmania but the demo/coverage represented there was disappointing seeing that it’s pre-recorded and presumably that these E-sports players weren’t professionals and pretending to put on a show just like Toby awkwardly putting on a show, sucking every where he goes. The game looks like Unreal Tourament and Trackmania, it’s fast pace and there are tons of jumping involved, it looks like Laser Tag and it wasn’t impressive.

Watch Dogs ends the conference with a lengthy demo of this game showcasing a sort of sandbox world like Grand theft Auto but what if you could hack every single person’s device and see their thoughts and status as a human that of which is integrated through devices. This is a bleak future indeed where you play as a hacker that could quickly hack into setting off phones to stop signs, jamming frequencies and communications, and having a sort of gameplay element where you could slow down enemies with this ability you have. It did not like the character and the fact that you could see what other people’s status from their personality to their income is (which is a neat idea but why the fuck would you need a income status for a fucking video game that will probably not be using that part of seeing how much money those random NPCs has, I mean, they are just random NPCs that don’t have a life outside of being scripted to be there and probably not walk back home or do chores and be doing AI-human routines like real-life, who fucking cares about their income status). There’s nothing excited about it but what if Mind Jack has a better game and this would be it and the fact that the demonstration have name tags on characters was weird and fucking terrible.