Some Video Game Things Of 2019
by danjohnhobbs
Man, it has been a looong time since I wrote anything about video games. The last review I wrote was for Transformers: Devastation back in 2015; A game which I forgot has existed until just now. I was so young and stupid back then. Watch Dogs review, subtitled A Bit Ruff. Yep. Anyway, as part of some sort of new year new me, I'm going to go back to expressing nonsense opinions, which no one car...
Man, it has been a looong time since I wrote anything about video games. The last review I wrote was for Transformers: Devastation back in 2015; A game which I forgot has existed until just now. I was so young and stupid back then. Watch Dogs review, subtitled A Bit Ruff. Yep. Anyway, as part of some sort of new year new me, I'm going to go back to expressing nonsense opinions, which no one cares about, around video games. First up, the best and worst video game things from 2019.
The 'Probably not worth your time, even though it's on Gamespass' Award
CRACKDOWN 3
The first game I've written about in over 4 years and I'm starting here? Well, things can only go up I suppose. As one of those people who picked up the outrageously expensive Playstation 3 at launch, the original Crackdown completely passed me by. Friends of mine had stories of sprinting as an overpowered super soldier around collecting orbs on rooftops. Pffft, I thought, I had Genji: Days of the Blade to play instead. Those same friends did not seem interested in my stories of giant enemy crabs. Needless to say, they were on the right side of history with that one. So when I did dip my toe in the Xbox ecosystem, I grabbed a Gamespass subscription and, low and behold, there's a new Crackdown on here included! How excellent. Sadly no. I've still managed to spend my time playing a bad game and trying to convince myself its ok.
I finished it in less than an afternoon and felt nothing while playing it. After spending so long in development it feels like it plays like an average game from 2009 and not 2019. It's rote, tedious and uninspired. The worst part is that it's just boring. There is zero that sparked any emotion from me - apart from anger at one of the boss battles. Was it the last boss, or the second to last? How did it annoy? What were the surrounding story beats? I can tell you none of these things. I just remember turning the difficulty down to the easiest, to get through it and stop the pain. Terry Crews was there, so that's something. I think?
The 'DO NOT PLAY THIS WITHOUT CONTEXT' Award
KINGDOM HEARTS 3
I'm going to have to give you a bit of history lesson for this to make sense - some context if you will. I can list all the Disney films I've seen on one hand. I don't mean Marvel or Star Wars, I mean proper Disney. Toy story 1, 101 Dalmations, the Robin Hood with animals one. I've been to Disneyland Paris once. That is my affiliation with classic Disney. I also I have never played any Kingdom Hearts games, or that many Final Fantasy games for that matter. To be honest I just don't understand the difference between a 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue vs an HD 1.5 + 2.5 remix vs Unchained χ.
So why did I decide to play the tenth iteration in a story dense series - a story which revolves around Disney and Final Fantasy characters, both of which I know nothing around? That is an answer I'm still trying to figure out to this day. Does it wrap up the series in a satisfying conclusion? I don't know. Do I know what a Xehanort is? Not at all. Have I figured out what the Gummi Ship does? Nope. Did I have a good time playing it? I think I did. Unquestionably, if you had spent untold hours pouring over 17 years of lore and JRPGs you will love it and probably don't need me to tell you that.
2019s 2012 Game Of The Year
Spec Ops: The Line
When Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare hit my PS4 this year, I saw Spec Ops on the main menu. When I saw it I was happy, then when I played it I was sad. So I went on the hunt for something to soothe my soul and I bumped into Spec Ops: The Line. Back in 2012, the 21-year-old idiotic version of me swept this game to one side, probably to play some nonsense like ZombiU or Angry Birds: Star Wars. The Yager developed game is seemingly your standard squad-based cover shooter as you venture into an abandoned Dubai. However, the game goes all Heart Of Darkness on you and crafts a tale of war that you just don't see in videogames.
Why play it in 2019? Well, it works on Xbox One backwards compatible and was about £3 on the Xbox Store. Also, it's bloody great.
The 'Absolute Nonsense That You Should Not Play But I Loved It' Award
Death Stranding
Death Stranding is without a doubt the most divisive game of the last year. I think the InstaSnapTok kids would call a mood. I feel old. It's completely and utterly understandable if you feel nothing but disdain for Kojima's latest. I loved it despite the fact that every aspect of the game is absolute nonsense. You are Sam Porter Bridges, and you work for the company that is your last name? and your job title is your middle name? Your mum is the president and her name is America Strand, I think? All of a sudden you wake up in World War 1 to fight ghost soldiers? You carry around a prematurely born baby that can detect ghosts trapped on a beach. The combat is mostly punching, and if you use an actual gun, the dead enemy will explode. Sometimes you have to fight giant oil monsters. You have to deliver pizza. A character of Heartman dies for 3 minutes every 21 minutes and in one scene during the game, he dies and you have to sit there for 3 minutes while he is dead and just look around the room and wait for him to be alive again. Despite everything going on in Death Stranding, I loved it. Will I play it again? Never again as long as I live.
The 'Actual Game Of The Year For 2019' Award
???
You know what. I have no damn idea. 2019 was a weird year for video games. One of the best games to come out was a remake of a 1998 horror game. A reboot of a decade-old FPS was another. A new games platform was announced and released and became and damn squib. E3 was just meh, as were new entries in Crackdown, Rage, Borderlands, Metro. Untitled Goose Game got memed to death. The big news was around loot boxes, Riot Lawsuits, Blitzchung and lots of the layoffs. COD and Mario Kart hit mobile, Woo? The Xbox released a new SKU called the Xbox One SAD. We did get Apex Legends, New Yakuza, Sekiro, Control, Bloodstained and Fallen Order.
In previous years, we have had games and stories that have made jaws meet floors. 2019 just felt like it floated by with no stand out peaks or troughs. 2019 was the year that was. It just was. However, this coming year should will hopefully be completely crazy. Final Fantasy VII and RE3 are being remade, a new Animal cross and a new Last of Us are incoming. A Half Life game is releasing. A HALF LIFE GAME IS RELEASING?! Once May 29th comes and goes, the calendar is empty for games. We are also scheduled to get two new consoles from the big hitters. What are they going to be? What will they do differently? It's always exciting. How is Nintendo going to remind us they still exist with all the chatter around new boxes? New console years are also the most exciting and I am so excited for 2020.