Uncharted...
Let me just say here that the game is good, great actually, I heartily
recommend it. It's the best looking game I've ever played, regardless
of pretty rampant pop-in problems, with amazing characterization and animation and story and
blah blah blah. Really though, if you own a Playstation 3, or know anyone who does, buy this game. You can play it. It's not anything radical or paradigm shifting, but it's charming and beautiful and funny and almost self aware. It's the George Clooney of videogames. Believe the hype.
So there's this. But there's also that.
I would have liked it if it had been a bit longer. I mean, the game is short, but Naughty Dog did a pretty good job of messing up the pacing already,
which is to say that the seemingly endless chains of heart-breakingly frustrating
combat make for a good lesson in how not to artificially lengthen your
game. These aren't all of my gripes but here are some protips: next
time around, don't have such bizarre AI. For example, when I throw a grenade, enemies should turn and run. And when I'm running up on one of those guys to punch his lights out before anyone sees me, it would be nice to not wind up full of bullets before everyone else has even had time to blink. Speaking of running, please make sure Drake doesn't run
like an intoxicated bird. It's hard to watch for six to eight hours. And listen, this is a dealbreaker- vary the enemies (and their "witty"
one-liners) a little bit more. You're working with a Playstation 3, not Industrial Light and Magic, not every five dudes needs to be a carbon copy. Did you get it? It was a clone joke.
Really though this is my biggest issue: fix the damage system. It shouldn't take a thousand
pounds of buckshot to kill three people, especially when it only takes
about three rounds from a small calibur rifle to kill me. Maybe I should clarify...the combat system isn't exactly horrendous, it's just
not tuned properly. Drake's 'run n gun' thing is entirely luck-based
(regardless of cover), the AI is either a perfect shot or completely stupid (no middle ground), and it's impossible to predict if they'll flank you or not
(which by the way if they do flank you you're totally screwed because
there's basically one safe spot to hang out in during every battle and if you're not
in that spot...well...I hope you like ammunition), the fact that
bullets and punches do basically the same amount of damage doesn't make
any sense at all and hand-to-hand is practically unusable anyway
because if (God forbid!) you run out from behind what decrepit, pathetic
cover there is to attempt said CQC (or beg for meager scraps
of munitions from your adversaries' plentiful, nay, infinite stockpile
in their castle high atop Mount Hate) you immediately get porked in
the bum by some nameless Mexican Clone Trooper.
"Not so tough after
all!"
You're damn right I'm not. How can you expect me to be?! I am
TIRED and FRUSTRATED! I'VE killed about FORTY FIVE of your twin freaking brothers and I ran out of bulletts and grenades after like the sixth one! FUCK YOU.
Woah boy, here's a quick time event.
Oh look, the game's over.
Well that was fun.
