I'm going to be frank- when I first started Shadow of the Colossus, I
hated it. I hated how the character, Wander, was so very awkward as
opposed to the normal badass I'm used to controlling in a videogame. I
hated how the controls felt needlessly unconventional. I hated the
horse, Agro, because he was so stubborn and hard to control.
But then, something changed. I started to appreciate how Wander was so different and felt more...real.
I started to appreciate that the strange controls only added to that
feeling of awkwardly trying to find a way to fell a massive beast
hundreds of times my size. I still hate that goddamn horse though, but
I'll get to him later.
In most games, you fight hordes of
mindless drones, maybe a sub-boss or two, then take on the main
attraction, the big boss. And when you're done, 
you move on, no big
deal- you've slain plenty of baddies before, so why should he be any
different? In Shadow, that doesn't really apply, and thank God for that.
At
first, I was pretty skeptical at how it all would work. I mean, 16 boss
fights and no grunt enemies? Didn't really make a lot of sense to me.
But, as with a lot of Shadow's unique qualities, they take some time to
fully appreciate. Each boss fight felt absolutely creative and epic.
You're just a scrawny teenager facing off against a huge and
daunting creature, and you actually win. It's a feeling of
accomplishment that is severely lacking in most games- when you finally
fell a Colossus...it's a rush. It's one of the few moments where a videogame has made me feel literally proud of something I've done, something I've accomplished.
But
Shadow did something else as well: It made me feel guilty. Some of the
Colossi will just outright attack you the moment they lay eyes on you,
and I took an admittedly morbid pleasure in slaying those few. But some
of the Colossi ignore you until you attack them. Some of the Colossi
refuse to attack you, even when you're stabbing them to death. They'll
cry out in pain, writhing around, trying with all their might just to
save themselves from this little parasite that's killing them.
And
that's what you are to them- a mere parasite. Imagine if you saw an ant
crawling on your toe. Do you honestly consider it to be any sort of
threat? Of course not. But what if that ant just kept crawling? Soon
it's on your leg, now your back, and now it's on the back of your neck
at your brain stem. Now it bit you, and you're in searing pain, trying
in vain to shake and claw and do whatever it takes to get that ant the
fuck off of you. That's what the Colossi are going through.
One
of the best moments I've ever had in gaming to date actually came from
Shadow of the Colossus for that specific reason: One of the Colossi has
you dangling from his hand, examining you as though you were a fairly
amusing insect. It's just an utterly captivating moment. And the game's
story, while minimalistic, is actually pretty moving, something rare in
videogames. Without giving too much away, I've never been a big fan of
happy endings where everything just conveniently all works out in the
end, so I loved this one.
It'd be a crime not to at least mention some of the sweeping and powerful melodies that play as you deal with each Colossi.
To be perfectly honest, they made me
feel like a hero- here I am,
hanging on for dear life on top of a beast hundreds of feet tall,
stabbing it in the head with a shining sword, trumpets blaring and
drums pounding. It's truly amazing. I'm proud to say that I own that
soundtrack. And the land, characters, and environment all share a
gorgeous art style that really accentuates those feelings I just
mentioned.
But let's go over some of the negatives now.
Yeah, those graphics I just talked about? The PS2...has a bit of a hard
time keeping up. The frame rate suffers, though never enough to
significantly affect your enjoyment, but you will notice it at
the very least. And the limitations of your character? Yeah, those can
get a little annoying at times. Also, one Colossi is like a bull and
just a really poorly designed fight- I got knocked down almost
immediately, then the moment I got up... BOOM! Knocked down again.
Rinse and repeat for about half an hour. Yeah, not fun. (The two bull
Colossi in the game were the ones I took morbid pleasure in killing, by
the way.)
Finally, Agro, the horse, is just DUMB. I get that
it's supposed to be more realistic that he doesn't come to you all the
time because that's apparently what real horses do, but dammit! This is
supposed to be a game first and a horse simulator never. So out in the
field when we're just chilling, that's fine, I don't really mind. But
when I'm about to become nothing more than a small splat on the bottom
of a Colossus' fat foot? Not so fine. And the last thing I feel it's
necessary to mention about Agro is that he tends to pull one way or
another, guiding himself (like a real horse would I guess), which is
actually great on narrow, windy bridges because you don't have to steer
him at all, but going through areas full of trees is a different story-
the idiot heads straight for a tree, rears back and turns around, so I'll try to take over, but with him pulling every which way, I'm still going to end up with nostrils full of bark.
All
in all, Shadow of the Colossus is a fantastic and moving game that is
one of the rare few to give you a sense of accomplishment and question
your actions.
