89 public reviews
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Ah yes, King Arthur, Britannia’s great mythical king, a cornerstone of British folklore. A tale of knights, heroism, love, honour, magic and circular carpentry cradled in the dark mists of ancient Albion. So then, dearest reader, how shall we weave this tapestry of souls, by what means shall we convey their story? What great voices shall play the part and sing this song of heroes and villains? A lone hand rises…
I cannot be alone in mostly playing the WWE games to mess around with the creation tools. Likewise I’m sure there are many others who, having little to no interest in watching WWE, still found themselves spending many an hour creating wrestlers and entrances, and generally having fun with all the goofy nonsense you could mess around with. Alas, when it came time to actually making use of such creations, problems…
Getting into the Disciples series on the third game was, in hindsight, perhaps not the best introduction. The art design of Disciples III: Renaissance was appealing but everything else was an uneven mix of boredom and confusion. A standalone expansion, Resurrection, and a revised version of both couldn’t really save it so years later we now have Liberation, an attempt to escape the shackles of the past and forge a…
Be it age or just a symptom of too many head injuries (I had a museum gallery’s worth as a child), but I’m horrifically bad at any game that requires some real measure of mental dexterity or great hand-eye coordination. Fighting games and real-time strategy are genres I love but am rarely any good at, lapsing into button mashing for the former and slow as molasses mouse only navigation for the latter. Even some of…
As if to confirm our species’ penchant for irrational hate it was only a few short days after finishing that I learnt of the death threats sent to Laura Bailey, one of the principal voice actors in The Last of Us: Part II. It is perplexing as it is wretched, and suggests many people either didn’t play or didn’t grasp any of the themes that underpin Naughty Dog’s decidedly grim survival sequel. In it we find Ellie…
My first conscious encounter with a roguelike was the Wii remake of Baroque, a moody dungeon crawler whose engrossing weirdness was matched only by its arse backwards design and psychotic difficulty. I still think of it fondly despite playing maybe 2 hours total of the stupid thing. I’ve never been a big fan of roguelikes yet there are those that do occasionally lure me in. Alas, Baroque tried to do this by going in…
As an atheist it seems odd to find myself siding with the Pope sometimes. It’s hard to look beyond the hate and poison that affects so much of our species, but the current head of the Catholic Church (in spite of the frequent rubbish he does spout) at least appears to understand suffering, and has taken to championing mercy and compassion on a public stage that believes in naught but Mammon and its own…
I must confess that after some 122 hours I'd have hoped for something other than a lingering melancholy, some other emotions rather than this low key mix of grief and frustration. I thought I had done everything right; all the pieces appeared in place and then, failure, opportunities missed, unforeseen consequences and tragedy left to fester without resolution. That I was coming off a pretty miserable day before…
It pays not to overcomplicate things sometimes. When you’re making the latest game in the Ace Combat series it can be understandable that you’d be inclined to try and come up with new gameplay and mission ideas, yet as a fan of said series, the missions which deviate most from the ‘just destroy everything’ mould are invariably the one’s I enjoy the least. Just give me a plane, hundreds of missiles, bombs and bullets…
Outriders is a very silly game, it makes me laugh at how macho it tries to be, at how it postures as this dark and gritty science fiction epic whilst completely immune to notions such as irony or wit, or imagination. But I can't hate it, the bracing lack of self-awareness is almost adorable as it parades its 'war is hell' story as written by Timmy, age 10. It's all quite stupid, but crucially, is also an awful lot…
Outriders is a very silly game, it makes me laugh at how macho it tries to be, at how it postures as this dark and gritty science fiction epic whilst completely immune to notions such as irony or wit, or imagination. But I can't hate it, the bracing lack of self-awareness is almost adorable as it parades its 'war is hell' story as written by Timmy, age 10. It's all quite stupid, but crucially, is also an awful lot…
There is a moment in The Medium where the protagonist, Marianne, comments on how sunshine doesn’t translate well into text. Now whilst I’m sure there are numerous literary examples of sunshine, described in all manner of eloquent splendour and beauty, she has a point. There are things that just cannot be fully appreciated without experiencing them first-hand. Being able to see the sun, to feel its warmth and light…
It ought to be a source of considerable shame that I cannot recall the last time I read a complete novel. Lord of the Flies maybe? If so then that was over 20 years ago in an English class at secondary school. Since then it’s been nothing but non-fiction, not out of any conscious determination I assure you, but rather I simply never had the motivation for it in amongst all the reading demands of my university days…
Darksiders III is a game that appears to have been made by people who really didn't know what the fuck they were doing. At times it can feel like a smart little action and adventure game, other times it's barely one step up from a movie tie-in, that uniquely awful genre about as welcome as someone pissing in your favourite shoes. There's no denying that there is some species of talent at work here, but when you have…
Despite having killed off many a beloved series, I do have some shred of sympathy for Konami. As having finished Death Stranding I too would be wary of funding/enabling such a man so seemingly convinced of his own genius. His credit sequences seem more like odes to his own glory these days, with his entourage of celebrity pals to help cement his rock star status within the industry. Yet it’s not without some merit ;…
Breakpoint is an interesting title, not so much in relation to what goes on in the game, in that sense it could have been called Stevenage Apples and had about as much relevance, but as wider commentary on Ubisoft’s approach to game development it seems acutely insightful as a desperate cry for help from a developer staring teary-eyed into a vast abyss of creative oblivion. Anyone with even a passing notice would be…
The gravest mistake the producers of the latest Star Wars movies ever made was to think they could tell a great story. In doing so they failed to realise that the greatest of all Star Wars stories have already been told and told repeatedly, in school playgrounds, at friend’s houses and almost anywhere where fans of the series may roam and gather. Disappointment was inevitable, as was the decidedly unpleasant nature…
If there’s one thing I inherited from my mother it is her ability to sleep in almost any setting at almost any time; dinner table, work desk, bus, can almost do it standing up. Alas sometimes such talents can backfire where a comfy snooze during the day interferes with sleep during the night, such as it was when I got around to trying Chance Agency’s somewhat sci-fi cabbie simulator. In fact my entire experience…
Neverwinter Nights was ahead of its time, and like most things ahead of its time, it took a while to fully appreciate some of its qualities. Its aspirations to be this great platform for digital D&D adventures was at the very least partially successful in that it has to this day a dedicated community of modders and creators, building upon the foundations set by Bioware back in 2002 with its Aurora engine. I, at 18,…
What is Blasphemous? It all depends on your point of view I suppose, but misusing its proper meaning for my own, very atheistic purposes; I’d start with the pronunciation of ‘betrothed’ as ‘ be-troff-ed ’, or deliberately writing noone instead of no one. To be fair my very existence and polymorphous perversity would be cause for a painful death among certain sections of our dearest humanity so I do hope they…
Fun fact; it was a Metro review back at the time of 2033’s release that snagged me my first boyfriend. I gave a reply; we got to talking then bam! A year later we are together. A week after that, bosh! We are apart again. Upsetting it sure was but in the end it was a question of logistics, personality was fortunately never a concern, but it does mean that 4A Games’ FPS series has an almost automatic emotional…
The Town of Light is a walking simulator that takes you though the ruins of a World War 2 era mental asylum in Italy. Within you find the thoughts and recollections of one of its patients and bare witness to the kind of tragedy that language cannot hope to adequately express. Even thinking about it now some weeks after finishing leaves no words, just an apoplectic, tear-stained rage. The Town of Light isn’t so much…
I do wonder if people appreciate the genius of 2k’s WWE games. Their quality or lack thereof is of no moment when one considers that hours upon hours of fun can be had with pretty much no wrestling at all. What it, and to a lesser extent Code Vein, does is simply create a playground to show off your creations. Creating a character is fun, dressing them up is fun, showing them off is fun; everything else is more of a…
Were I ever to set up my own business I’d have to seriously consider becoming a Dominatrix. I mean think about it, I could set my own hours, dress in lots of cool and kinky outfits, hire a cute assistant to do admin etc. it would be great. But then I realise that what I really want is something grander, something that truly befits my ambition and desire, Empress of the entire known universe? That’ll do. Hence why I…
So then, who was the worst on screen depiction of Dracula? Was it Richard Roxburgh and his anaemic whiff of flatulence in Van Helsing, or maybe that guy from prison break who I can’t remember the name of in Blade: Trinity who played him as the world’s most disinterested street thug? I don’t know about you, but for me vampires ought to be sexy and interesting or at least one of the two. Vampyr tries very much to…
I will not say it, I just won’t. I refuse. I don’t care how difficult you are; I don’t care that you have stamina management based combat, parrying and severe whiff punishing. You can be as brutal and as gothic as you like but you won’t make me say it Dark Devotion. Just be grateful my fondness for grim gothic fantasy helped me overlook your ‘quirks’. Quite how you can make a game now without volume controls or…
There once was a dev called Omega, who worked for KT and not Sega. They spent some time, making DW9, as if in response to some wager. ___ So DW9 was their game, but the result is nothing but pain. The gameplay is shite, and the changes quite trite, where my enjoyment has nothing to gain. ___ The combat is really quite easy, and the DLC extra sleazy. There’s a paid costume there, and those who adhere, would leave me…
Whispers of a Machine may well be one of the best point-and-click adventure games of recent times. Such statements ought never to be made lightly however all my reflections so far reach the same conclusion. Few titles, adventure game or otherwise, are made with such craft and discipline. It’s economical in design, yet flush with creativity and subtle innovations within the genre. It is yet another Adventure Game…
When I studied Philosophy at the now defunct Heythrop College, one of the many smaller colleges that formed the University of London, I was very early on taught a simple way to present an argument. The first step was always to establish you premises; statements or assertions that would be pretty much accepted by your entire audience. Such things would usually be self-evident or otherwise propositions that no one…
Network Q Rally on PC, that was the game. For the longest time I could not remember what it was that first got me interested in rally games. I don’t watch the thing, never have and don’t have any real compulsion to but I remember an old game that had Colin McRae’s classic Subaru screaming around a forest. It wasn’t the first driving game I ever played, but it was one which had a lasting impact and it was Dirt Rally…
Dearest reader, I do not wish to alarm, but after playing through Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown I have come to a rather disturbing revelation; I don’t think the developers have ever watched Top Gun. Now look, I know it sounds absurd but after a touch over a dozen hours there seems little doubt in my mind. How can anyone, having seen the ridiculous, homoerotic glory of the late Tony Scott’s masterwork come up with…
As someone who plays single-player games primarily, picking up Black Ops 4 felt like some sort of treason. With no campaign to help justify a purchase it was at some risk that I braved the unimpressed frowns of my other single player friends to give it a try. I blame Black Ops 3 really; for all its faults I enjoyed the multiplayer quite a bit and with a more straightforward movement system promised in 2018’s Call of…
Jonathan Meades once wrote, most likely with reference to someone else, that to be northern is to be ill at ease with oneself, that seeking oblivion – vast consumption of alcohol – is a symptom of this existential imbalance. The levels of darkness, the cold, wind and rain do something to the mind, perhaps inculcating a melancholic view of one’s place in the world, longing for distraction from the harsh, oppressive…
One thing that has certainly become more noticeable as I get older is my lessening tolerance for any kind of abuse or general bad manners in gaming. My mind just instinctively convulses with an even mix of disappointment and rage whenever someone sees fit to find delight in another’s frustration or simply enjoys getting a rise out of others. Even relatively innocuous trash talk, just no, nope, I cannot stand any of…
Spellforce, now there’s a name. I first became aware of the series with the first game’s box art, and specifically its suggestion of some moral shenanigans at work. Alas, it was utter bollocks and the whole thing was a classic good vs evil crusade with you playing on the less interesting side. It was a good game mind you, or at least my memory tells me it was, the mix of RPG and RTS was quite unique and being the…
If there is one genre that refuses to die it is the point and click adventure. The tools available and the simplicity of its essential design make it very appealing for storytellers without means. Whilst not always in vogue the genre has nevertheless always been productive and there is no shortage of interesting, well-written adventures to be had for those willing to see past the standard pixel art that has become…
There is something pleasingly amoral about Conan Exiles. Feeling hungry? Well, you could always pick some berries, maybe try a nice juicy grub or two, or you could murder the locals, hack up their bodies and cook up some fresh homo sapien whilst wearing nothing but your birthday suit. Of course you don’t have to be as overtly malevolent and cannibalistic but I certainly do appreciate the choice and the generally…
Trilogies never seem to turn out well, specifically video game trilogies. The movie industry has its stinkers for sure but the split between bold creative vision and cynical franchise abuse tends to be weighted far heavily with the first when this particular medium of entertainment is involved. Often such trilogies involve the most tenuous of connections between titles and bear all the hallmarks of having been made…
Neocore Games could learn a thing or two from the Imperium of Man; the way it matches vast technological prowess with ostentatious design is to be applauded. That the universe has descended into endless war is no excuse to abandon style and one’s artistic ambitions. But whilst there is little doubting the developer’s desire to turn the 40k universe into a great galaxy-wide ARPG adventure, there comes the small…
It’s quite funny to hear a revered game critic accuse the industry of collective amnesia and in the same breath pour scorn on nostalgia driven crowdfunding campaigns. It’s doubly amusing when said critic gushes over his own set of old classics and bemoans today’s preponderance to treating its audience with absurd levels of condescension. One suspects that without this longing for the triumphs of the past we’d be…
The legacy of the Infinity Engine is very much the marrow in my gaming bones. Like many my RPG teeth were cut on the original Baldur’s Gate and it’s hard to convey just how much of an impact it had. Its vast and intricate world was unlike anything I had seen before having spent my most formative years with the Atari 7800 and Sega’s Master System. It along with Sid Meier’s Civilization introduced me to the majesty of…
I don’t pay much heed to conspiracy theories; talk of faked moon landings and inside jobs bore me to tears and their proponents instil a repulsive, fugitive instinct. With heavy heart however I fear I must now concede that I have stumbled upon my own clandestine cabal of colluding conspirators. In the world of MMOs there appears to be a secret society of developers that have, in order to preserve their jobs and…
I’m scared of the ocean. Well, that’s not quite true, I’m scared of what might live there; Sharks, jellyfish, those creepy fish with the big mouths and lights on their heads, makes me glad I live on land with the cats and cute bunny rabbits. This fear has never really left me and would manifest itself in my gaming life as well. Any vast underwater level would always create some semblance of anxiety if I knew there…
Reviews are pointless things; what value is there in giving one’s opinion where other minds will have other thoughts, other experiences of the same stimuli. To claim objectivity as to an experience’s quality is laughable and remains a tidy watchword to identify those who lack this most basic yet essential of comprehensions. It is we who determine value; our individual minds determine what is or is not fun, useful or…
I can’t remember if I’ve written about this before and quite frankly I’m much too lazy to check, but there is a piece of writing advice I once heard by way of the late Christopher Hitchens. The idea being that one ought always to try and write posthumously, that the considerations one might have when alive; taste, reputation or commercial pressure be cast aside as best as one is able. No easy task for the successful…
I think it’s fair to say that we as a species have a propensity to judge. Be it ourselves, others, or even video games we find it very easy to make snap assessments as to the merits or flaws of this, that and the other. Whilst this trait serves an essential purpose in how we function it is also the source of untold misery and if I’ve learnt one thing from my life it’s the value of giving things the benefit of the…
And so it is that the fire has now finally faded; the souls series has been laid to rest and the body of From Software’s grim legacy now lies six feet under. But in the ground below the allure of its necrotised flesh has attracted a large number of hungry creatures, eager to taste this most delectable of corpses. One such diner at this great buffet in the dark is Team Cherry, and whilst others sloppily pig out on…
It is somewhat astonishing to me that it has been some 15 years since the release of The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, my first ever adventure into the realm of open world games. Having been popularised by that very series and having become the almost de facto genre choice for big budget development one would have been forgiven for assuming that we wouldn't still be struggling to grapple with the side effects of…
Read the full review The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
