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Great Gameplay, Really Dumb Story

Published January 6, 2010
4 out of 5 starsScore: 80/100

What amazing graphics (for the time)! But what a dumb story line.

Gameplay rating:  
----Graphics 10.0
----Handling 8.0
----Interaction 10.0
----Excitement 6.0
----Storyline 5.0

Graphics were perfect (although almost nobody can handle the high setting).

Handling was good, but was really crappy and fake during the zero-G chapters.

Interaction was very good. Almost everything was destructable, even the turtles. The physics were very good.

Excitement was, um.... wait..... was it actually exciting? You get the same nanosuit features in the beginning and don't earn any more skills or suit upgrades (ex. stronger armor) which could definitely help the game go along much more smoothly.

Storyline.... I don't know if you're ready for this.
Tell you what, here's a little recap of the first level.....

You're going along through the happy little jungle fighting what seems to be a military battle. Ok, and then some aliens pop in there. . . . ??? I don't get it. Which writer needs to be fired? Please tell me. But still, let's say that this right angle can be dealt with. Just consider it a dramatic turn of events right? Ok, let's keep moving then.

So now you're fighting a mixture of alien crafts and Korean military that are portrayed as retarded ignorants that could give a damn about themselves and the rest of the world as they "reach into Pandora's box".

And then there's no Korean forces, and just alien booger-looking guys with poor rendering and are way too difficult even on the easy setting.

Oh yeah, and one of the biggest problems is this:

THEY SPENT ALL THIS TIME MAKING A BADASS PREVIEW and BADASS
LOOKING MAIN CHARACTER AND YOU NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GET TO SEE YOUR AWESOME NANOSUIT!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!!!

What a gyp? One of the best thing about having a cool looking character is being able to get goosebumps as you perform a really cool tactical move against an enemy. I mean, look at GEARS OF WAR. Their suits are awesome. The Crysis Nanosuits are amazing. But, we'll just have to "remember" what they look like since you can't see them and I'll just have to remember what it looks like cuz I'm never playing this game again.    

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