I realise that criticizing a game that everybody likes makes me about as welcome as Theresa May at the International Not a Bitch awards. But I’ve put on my big boy pants and gained enough courage to say, with confidence, I don’t, objectively, think it’s good..oh god, please don’t hurt me...I can hear them coming.
To say I had high hopes for this game would be a bare faced lie. In fact, I didn’t even notice when Steam, nonchalantly, farted it out.
So it’s been an entire year before I even got round to playing it. In that time I saw no screenshots or videos, somehow, but yet I knew that the internet lost its collective shit when Undertale hentai and fan-fiction started had started spreading like butter on a particularly warm piece of toast.
I don’t tend to make it my civic duty to upset everyone, (although recently I would argue otherwise) and I realise most of my friends really like this game. Having said that, I went into Undertale not know anything about it, for all that I knew it was a 3D hack-and-slash Leisure Suite Larry sequel. Although, I’d be lying if I said it couldn’t be improved by tits.
I was all set to make this one of my favourite games but what I’ve seen of it so far is quite disappointing. The initial Music is like someone being raped with a stylophone, for example.
And after the music had finished blistering my ear holes I was presented with a game in which contained a very angry flower who proceeded to attack me.
Now I’m the type of emotionless freak who doesn’t get entertained by a game who shoves random things in my face, especially when they dress it up as comedy.
PR Man: Ooh look a crocodile, with a hat, riding a bicycle.
Me: Hey, I’m not really interested in which animals can be successfully anthropomorphized into a comedy zoo.
PR Man: Do you know what I say to that CAT CLOWNS!
The story was the main selling point of this game. I was told it was going to utterly change my life but it failed to even make me change the underpants I had been wearing for the last 5 days.
There are a small number of moments which made me genuinely laugh, but burning down orphanages usually gives me the same result. Disappointingly I didn’t really find anything too special about it that hadn’t already been done to death by modded SNES roms.
The conclusion is that it’s kinda funny and a bit interesting...in fact I kept saying to myself, this game is really quite interesting but after I woke up from the undertale induced coma, I concluded it’s probably not for me.