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Maya is so cute I wanna marry her lol

Published November 29, 2008
5 out of 5 starsScore: 100/100

Phoenix Wright: “So, Judge, as you can see, there is no doubt that the witness is guilty. They left prints, they were caught on security cam, they left behind a belonging of their own; obviously, it his he, and not my client, who is guilty! What say you to that, Judge?”

Witness: “Uhh! ACK! EEK! DAMN IT! NO! RUINED! RUUUIIINNNEEDDD!!!”

Judge: “… eh. I need to see more proof. Prosecution, will you call your next witness?”

Witness: “… ah, yes, you see, I am not guilty! Evidently!”

Phoenix Wright: “oh what the >_<”

Such is the life of a lawyer. At least, if Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is to be taken as a credible representation of… uhh, lawyering.

In Phoenix Wright, it's your goal to prove your client's innocence. This isn't always an easy task. Actually, it's never an easy task; your clients always seem to be in the worst possible positions, seemingly the obvious criminal in your case, with little doubt against him, and even witnesses who've caught him (or her) in the act! Thankfully for Phoenix, helping out your clients is a hell of a lot of fun.

See, you don't really ‘lawyer' as one would in the real world in this game - not to say that you don't go to court and whatnot, because you do, but you also do work that would generally be left to the police and investigators to do; you investigate! Investigating takes up about half the game, and during these periods you meander about searching for clues to help prove your client's innocence, searching for clues to help pin the blame on another person (who may actually be the perpetrator), and searching for… well, anything that'll let you bluff your way to victory. Not that your clients are guilty, of course; they're not! As an ace attorney, you must have faith in all your clients! You must!

Such is the way to pave your victory in the courts. Using items found throughout your investigative travels, you can turn the tides while your client is on trial. It'll be fun to see how the prosecution reacts to this as well, surely in quite a comical way, giving Edgeworth's nature. Yeah, Edgeworth, and Payne, and Mia Fey, and all the other characters in this game; great personalities! Part of what fuels Phoenix Wright and makes it work particularly well is the collection of characters it plays host to. Anyone with more than a few lines of dialogue is very memorable, sticking out but protruding the excess of stereotype taken to the max, or through just plain old wackiness. These are very lovable people. And cute. Like Maya Fey. I really like Maya. She looks really nice. I'd love to cuddle with her. Maybe progress from that, know what I'm sayin'? I know her quite well, you know. I was thinking about proposing to her. But then I remembered she's a video game character ;_;. Damn you, Capcom, why must you tease me with these lovely personalities!? Now print-outs must make do ._.

However enjoyable your investigations, however, by far the most enjoyable part of the game is the court time. Bouncing back objections and finding contradictions in testimonies is a blast, and for whatever it's worth, it really does make you feel like a lawyer, if only a silly little gamey one with spikey hair and a knack for asking the silliest questions to his witnesses (poor Phoenix, doesn't even know what a permit is =/).

Fear not though! Throughout the game you've always got an ally who'll be there to help you on whatever quest you wish to conquer next! Helping you through your court proceedings when you really need it, giving you suggestions, helping out during investigations; they're scripted, but they work like charms!

Scripted though, yeah. The whole game is like a big ol' script translated into game format with the simple addition of imagery. And some moving about for the investigations. Aside from that, the court-room proceedings are very choose-your-own-adventure like… except generally everything comes to the same conclusion (not that you can't make the wrong choice, as such times do exist!) Actually, the game is very lenient when it comes to punishing the player, partially because of its very forgiving save system; save anytime, anywhere! That means in the middle of court too, when you're about to make a decision that could possibly be game-altering. There's more than enough room to make the wrong decision because then you can just boot up your old save, so there's little in the way of letting a player blaze through without a second thought (though said player is only stealing fun from themselves.)

These proceedings will all take a decent amount of time from you, too; five cases that gradually get longer and longer make for an impressive trip, possibly one of twenty hours? Regardless the time-frame, once your trials end you'll likely be very thirsty for more action (if only these weren't all murder trials, too! Where's the theft? And the… uhh, terrorism? And stuff?), and that action will not be found here. You see, just as with books, once you're through with one, you won't be so quick to dig right back in, as you're already very familiar with how everything plays out. This poses the only serious problem in Phoenix Wright; however excellent the journey is, when it's over, it really is over. Not to say that this threat alone makes it a journey not worth taking; only a fool (or one who is afraid of books) would not take this journey, but an end will come as a certain disappointment. No worries, however! There's a sequel out, so if you choose to ignore this title, I really must object. And call you a dummy.

Just be aware of the stupidity contained in some unfortunate instances;

Phoenix: “As you can see, this evidence clearly supports the theory that the witness currently on stand is the actual murderer!”

Judge: “I don't care. More evidence plox.”

Phoenix: “;_;”

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