The word “Atmosphere” gets thrown around a lot nowadays in this merry little creative realm known as video games. Having “good atmosphere” is usually used to describe games that are not so good in the actual gaming department – ::cough:: Assassin’s Creed and Bioshock ::cough:: – in a half hearted attempt by critics to describe the big chubbies they get staring at dynamic graphics, thereby proving my theory that anyone can be distracted by waving a shiny object in their face.
Batman: Arkham Asylum is out to be the shiniest of the shiny objects available on the Xbox 360. Every inch of this island nut-house is overrun with detail that is more impressive than the dimples on Poison Ivy’s rear end (of which you get a lovely couple of close-ups). Feeling the need for a couple of heart-to-hearts with the Joker? Just wander into the Visitor’s Hall. Want to relive Bruce Wayne’s worst nightmare? Just walk down the wrong dusty hallway and wait for the blood to trickle UP the walls. Want to scare the manure out of some henchmen? Try hanging one of them from the rafters for all his pals to see. This game rolls deep with the Batman mythos, and every hallway is designed to firmly keep your mind on that fact.
But is that all that’s to this very shiny experience? NO (EMPHATICALLY!). Why? Batman can do Bat-Fu. There is nothing more satisfying than recklessly hurling yourself into a crowd of 20 thugs and unleashing Yoda-like Spinning Ninja Monkey justice on a few make-up wearing chrome domes. The more attacks you can string together, the more crazy and awesome Spinning Ninja Monkey Batman gets, leaping from one criminal to another in a flurry of headbutts, kicks, punches, broken sphincters, and dropkicks that would make Randy Orton jealous. The combat is like sex with the Sham Wow guy: quick and utterly brutal.
Equally satisfying is the aforementioned ability to scare the crap out of henchmen, something you’ll need to frequently do when said henchmen is packing heat…probably something to do with Batman’s pure hatred for guns (actually, that’s a thought. What if Batman were the “Kids stay away from firearms” mascot…The commercials would be great. Some kid finds his dad’s gun and wants to show it to his friend. He goes walking down the street not realizing there’s a creepy guy in a Batsuit following him on the rooftops. Kid turns a corner and WOOOOOSH, Batman grapple hooks him 50 stories into the air and leaves him there overnight to think about what he’s done. I doubt any kid would want to carry a gun after that…what was I saying?) or perhaps because bullets hurt. These segments place you inside a room filled with shadow-crawling hurt-locker positions, making it shear pleasure to torment these poor unsuspecting suckers as you pick them off one by one, all while the Joker taunts them over the Asylum’s intercomm system.
And let me just say, Mark Hamill once again steals the show. If this is his last portrayal of the Joker, it was one helluva way to go out. Best line in a video game ever: “Tell me, Batman. What are you really afraid of? A dark corner? A creepy stranger?! Me, in a Thong?!?! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH AHAHAHAHAHHA! "
::Peanut Gallery::
