This game is a blithering cunt creature spreading period blood over games as an entertainment medium. Every aspect of this abomination is a broken mess. The story is about a demon invading the world from another world and your families link to this fate but its all told so badly that its incomprehensible. The characters are all so bland that you wont care about any of it.
Speaking of the characters I have to mention the script of this incredible game. Characters all have monotonous tones and much of the language is in an imitation of middle english. "Forsooth ser, wher'e be me woe unto thee" is an example of the crap you will be faced with on a regular basis in this game. Hilariously bad lines like "Im getting wet" are abundant, and an enemy type called groms make the worst enemy sounds I have ever heard in any game in my life. The music is horrible and the voice work has zero redeeming qualities.
The graphics are a pile of shit. The game looks like an ugly Wii game. The environments are all flat and lifeless, with trees and shrubbery disappearing as you approach them, and a serious case of pop in features is in this game. The character animations are all stilted and artificial looking, and for a 360 game trumpeting itself as a competitor to Oblivion this game is a laughing stock. If "mayhap", "prithee", and "verily" didnt reduce this game to the rubbish heap then its technical issues will. The poor frame rate, coupled by constant hiccups and freezes is crippling. Things get worse when multiple enemies are on screen. The game's engine renders objects in the distance, sometimes in inaccurate places, and then later, as you are approaching, undraws the objects if they shouldn't have been there, and then redraws them in different locations, its hilarious. Enemies walk through hills to attack you, and there is no balance to the power of enemies. This means that from the start of the game you can meet enemies that you are actually not able to kill, and that will kill you in a single hit. There is a multiplayer mode but its an unplayable mess with a busted frame rate.
The combat would be ok except that you cannot block, the frame rate can't handle encounters and the game has an aneurysm half the time you try any decent abilities that require an animation. Two Worlds tries to be a free world with free choices that lead to consequences, but it fails miserably on so many levels. The main quest, while incredibly short, is extremely linear and does not provide any real sense of choice in how events are played out. There is no reason to even play the main quest, even if you ignore all the technical issues this game has. You can't cast magic while moving, so anytime you try to you simply stop dead in your tracks, cast the spell, and remain stopped. When you kill enemies you will notice how their body is almost always repositioned after they are dead. Instead of simply letting physics do its wonder and allowing the body to collapse in the position dies in, bodies are repositioned once killed. If you ever manage to get on the bad side of the villagers, for whatever the reason, you will forever be incapable of making peace with them, and they kill you in a single hit.........
The game has an incredible lack of substance and competence. The developers must have all been sitting around a table sniffing coke and wanking because they were not working on this. Two Worlds is a failed abortion and should be forgotten about except as something to laugh at every now and again. Only sex with your character's hot sister can save this game, but that would be incest.
Pros:
- Some of the script will be cheesy enough to make you laugh
Cons:
- Graphics are awful
- Script and voice overs are appalling
- AI is broken
- Pop in is everywhere
- Bizarre and game breaking bugs are rampant
- Story is bad
- Combat doesn't work
- Waste of time and money
- Environments feel false and look horrible
- Enemies range from laughably stupid to unkillable
- Level scaling has been left to die by the way side, which is where this game should have been put
- Sooooo many more issues......
Wtf:
- This game got passed quality control
Score:
- 1/10