Orlando (Location)

Orlando

LOCATION

Orlando is located in central Florida. It is most notable as a tourist destination housing many major amusement parks including Walt Disney World, Universal Studios, and Sea World. No one ever knows where they're going down here and I-4 is the third deadliest interstate in the U.S.

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Nicknamed "The City Beautiful," a phrase whose composition has been baffling residents and tourists alike since its adoption, Orlando is home to many tourist related industries. The Walt Disney Company has major operations here including the nearby mass of resort property that is the Walt Disney World Resort, which has four theme parks, two (previously three) water parks, lodging, camp grounds, and shops. They own nearly everything in the city by association. Disney is the only reason that Orlando ever became anything more than just a swamp - although meeting the people of Orlando may make you wish that it had stayed that way. The success of nearly all other industries and major players in Orlando can be traced back to Disney investing so heavily in the area.

Orlando is also home to the NBA's Magic which is comprised of Dwight Howard.

Keeping the city moving is Interstate 4 which is the nation's third deadliest interstate - not content with just being third, Orlando drivers are committed to moving up the ranks by refusing to use their signal when changing lanes or turning, not getting their brake lights replaced unless ordered to by the police, cutting you off even if no one is behind you, randomly changing lanes, driving 30 miles under the speed limit when it is sprinkling outside, and by ignoring basic traffic rules such as stopping at red lights and/or stop signs. If you do happen to total your vehicle in Orlando and survive, do not fret! Orlando is home to more car dealerships than it is people and they will all be more than happy to make you "one helluva deal!" Orlando has taken even greater steps to ensure accidents by recently installing a gigantic screen facing the interstate at one of its busiest spots. The screen, which is apparently so large that no one has the measurements of it on the internet, was faced towards motorists on I-4 in order to keep them up to date about all of Orlando's great events and Magic stats - because all of the radio, TV, billboard ads and bumper stickers clearly weren't doing enough.