Hello! I thought about making this an actual (my first!) blog about my experience finishing all Borderlands games + all story dlc for the first time in 2016, but I figured there’s actually not that much to write about – after all it is very much a podcast game that most people play while doing something else.

So instead – and unlike other, obviously inferior rankings - this is an exhaustive list of all relevant borderlands content, ranked from best to worst. And it is of course just as highly scientific as these other ranking formats that shall not be named.

1. The Pre-Sequel

It does have the dumbest name, but there are several things that made it my clear No.1: the stingray is the best vehicle in the whole series, I feel like every other vehicle at best is unbothersome, but that one’s actually fun to use. Characters don’t just talk to themselves, they react to others and to what’s happening, which – besides the Tiny Tina and the Claptrap dlc – makes this the only story I actually care about to some degree. Usability aspects are improved, like waypoints directing you to fast travel points. And finally I also like the moon specific stuff: the added verticality and air control in low gravity feel great, the butt stomp is the thing I missed most when playing the previous games, and the oxygen is not a hindrance at all and instead something of a slight tactical consideration when fighting enemies.

2. Tiny Tina’s Assault on Dragons Keep

It does the thing Bastion and Call of Juarez Gunslinger do: change the game around you as the story gets told. It has completely different environments and enemies, plus an allstar cast of borderlands characters. It’s funny and a bit touching.

3. Claptastic Voyage

It has all the gameplay benefits of the pre-sequel, an interesting storyline with a number of references even back to the first game, and also new environments and enemies in its very own “cyber”-style. And a whole new type of rare (glitch) weapons that are pretty awesome.

4. Mr Torgue’s Campaign of Carnage

I like the character of Torgue. I like the structure of the dlc as fights on your way to the top. I like Tiny Tina as Burgess Meredith.

5. Captain Scarlett and her Pirate’s Booty

As is probably clear by now, I think very highly of a lot of the BL2 dlc, they are mostly very well made products. This one has pirates, which should speak for itself.

6. Borderlands 2

It’s good, solid, it has a great cast (Scooter, Moxxi, all the heroes from the first game, Hammerlock), more customization options compared to BL1 and the graphics embrace the cartoonish look more than the first game did. I also like the skilltrees post BL1 better.

7. Borderlands

You can definitely still see the “gritty” roots, it’s the most greyish, dire looking game of the bunch – which on the one hand makes it less interesting compared to other games, but more so compared to the other entries in the franchise itself. I also feel like Gearbox must have reused some of the assault rifle models from Brothers in Arms here, which adds to this game feeling a little less cartoony. Something that, again, is not necessarily negative. I like the direction the series has taken, but it also made this game more interesting to play after 170hrs of BL2 and Pre-Sequel. Something I preferred here: increasing the ammo limit doesn’t require an extra currency like moonstones.

8. The Secret Armory of General Knoxx

Athena looks weird in this. The highway levels feel quite different to the main game though, and getting some backstory on Athena is nice as well. Also, considering the fact it is relying on the series mostly questionable driving a lot, it is surprisingly good.

9. Claptrap’s New Robot Revolution

It’s short enough that I’m willing to view the very obvious recycling of enemies from the main game as robo-zombies as a fun idea instead of laziness.

10. The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned

Kind of a Halloween special, but actually not that special. Probably hurt by the fact (as was also the case with Claptrap’s New Robot Revolution) that I was wildly overleveled for that dlc.

11. Sir Hammerlock’s Big Game Hunt:

Not that much to this dlc. Mostly boring environments and with only a few recurring character appearances apart from Hammerlock. I also got a bit lost in the main area at times. Hurt by the fact the other BL2 dlc is as good as it is.

So, that’s that. Some general info to close this out: I’ve started at the end of last year with the Pre-Sequel, then 2, then 1. I have, according to steam, 116 hours in the Pre-Sequel, 55 in BL2 and 40 in BL1. I played all of it by myself, on normal, plus one playthrough on true vault hunter mode in the Pre-Sequel. My characters were Athena, Nisha, Mechromancer and Lilith.

Congratulations if you made it all the way through. I'd also be curious about other peoples rankings (though as stated above, there's no denying this lists science).