Nothing at all strange about this screenshot. Just a....woman?...with her...mustard?...friend.
Who then proceeds to launch himself unto the unknown cosmos.
Wait, wasn't this a cooking game? What happened to the kitchen?
You know, the cooking broom that you use for cooking.
This makes all the fucking sense in the world.
And then they dance themselves into stars. What.
Monkeying is serious business, apparently, even though they've a phrase that suggests the opposite.
WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH COOKING!?
Plunge into the eternal abyss, Gunter.
The Iberian Peninsula: of the utmost importance to any budding cook.
OK, now you're just making shit up.
France is so proud right now.
What's she happy about?....No, seriously, what's she happy about? I don't know what that is.
"And sang the most beautiful aria in all the land."
Oh. Now I get it. This is a really dumb advergame.
Just indiscriminately throw that shit into a bowl and you've got curry sauce.
I'd have taken that crown if not for the dumb little spike on the top. I have standards.
Sadly, my wish for a better game is not granted.
ALL THE MEAT OF THE LAND, RIPE FOR THE PICKING.
Probably shouldn't have yelled that last bit.
So this isn't even a cooking game. It's a "find the shapes" game. Joy.
Or maybe it's a "fuck around to make shit happen" game.
In a game that's telling you how to prepare food, I don't think you should be confusing foods.
"Trucker Hitler approves of our mayonnaise. Shouldn't you?"
This graph means something, apparently.
And then it all goes to drugs.
In case you ever want some Parsley Sauce (which I guess is a thing).
"Tip the boat over while he's not looking. No-one will ever know."
You cannot escape me, little monkey. Your end will come. It always does.
You know, this game would've made more sense if it STARTED on this.
Snow White and the Seven What the Fuck's Even Going On Anymore?
Bed Potatoes! They're a thing, apparently.
And sleeping tomatoes? And I'm supposed to cook with this stuff?
So THAT'S what she's been doing alone in her room this entire time: chugging jars of mayonnaise.
And I guess Nintendo was directly involved with this? I don't even know anymore.
YOU AIN'T FOOLING ANYBODY, MOTOKO!
NEITHER ARE YOU, OLD MAN.
Just slather that shit on there. Use the entire bottle, if you have to.
How could this meal possibly look any better?
How about if I cover it in disgusting mayonnaise, of course!
"You know what I could use on top of this mayonnaise omelet? More mayonnaise!"
"The darkness will come soon. Do not fight it."
Less sexual, more overtly stupid.
This place became really depressing once it started making sense.
There is no end to mayonnaise.
Nothing at all strange about this screenshot. Just a....woman?...with her...mustard?...friend.
Who then proceeds to launch himself unto the unknown cosmos.
Wait, wasn't this a cooking game? What happened to the kitchen?
You know, the cooking broom that you use for cooking.
This makes all the fucking sense in the world.
And then they dance themselves into stars. What.
Monkeying is serious business, apparently, even though they've a phrase that suggests the opposite.
WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH COOKING!?
Plunge into the eternal abyss, Gunter.
The Iberian Peninsula: of the utmost importance to any budding cook.
OK, now you're just making shit up.
France is so proud right now.
What's she happy about?....No, seriously, what's she happy about? I don't know what that is.
"And sang the most beautiful aria in all the land."
Oh. Now I get it. This is a really dumb advergame.
Just indiscriminately throw that shit into a bowl and you've got curry sauce.
I'd have taken that crown if not for the dumb little spike on the top. I have standards.
Sadly, my wish for a better game is not granted.
ALL THE MEAT OF THE LAND, RIPE FOR THE PICKING.
Probably shouldn't have yelled that last bit.
So this isn't even a cooking game. It's a "find the shapes" game. Joy.
Or maybe it's a "fuck around to make shit happen" game.
In a game that's telling you how to prepare food, I don't think you should be confusing foods.
"Trucker Hitler approves of our mayonnaise. Shouldn't you?"
This graph means something, apparently.
And then it all goes to drugs.
In case you ever want some Parsley Sauce (which I guess is a thing).
"Tip the boat over while he's not looking. No-one will ever know."
You cannot escape me, little monkey. Your end will come. It always does.
You know, this game would've made more sense if it STARTED on this.
Snow White and the Seven What the Fuck's Even Going On Anymore?
Bed Potatoes! They're a thing, apparently.
And sleeping tomatoes? And I'm supposed to cook with this stuff?
So THAT'S what she's been doing alone in her room this entire time: chugging jars of mayonnaise.
And I guess Nintendo was directly involved with this? I don't even know anymore.
YOU AIN'T FOOLING ANYBODY, MOTOKO!
NEITHER ARE YOU, OLD MAN.
Just slather that shit on there. Use the entire bottle, if you have to.
How could this meal possibly look any better?
How about if I cover it in disgusting mayonnaise, of course!
"You know what I could use on top of this mayonnaise omelet? More mayonnaise!"
"The darkness will come soon. Do not fight it."
Less sexual, more overtly stupid.
This place became really depressing once it started making sense.
There is no end to mayonnaise.
