Lilly tearoom CG sketches
Production sketch for Lilly tearoom CG
Further production sketch
Concept sketches of Lilly sprites
Lined prototype sprite and expressions
Further prototype, with colouring and second pose
Doujin page from Raita Honjou
Cover to the Japanese Player's guide for Katawa Shoujo
"Why I chose to come out here in the middle of winter is beyond me."
"Really beginning to question why I'm out here."
With a U...even if that doesn't make a lot of sense.
That's what we in the biz call "foreshadowing".
You've GOT to work on your pick-up lines, man.
That's going to explain a lot.
Then why is this introduction so loquacious?
Iwanako gets a lightning bolt in the chest in 3, 2...
"......I knew I should've chosen another vessel for Grima."
"And I'm still face down in the snow."
You know, I probably should've mentioned his serious heart condition at some point.
Pissier than a diuretic? You better believe it!
He spends about four lines on this gate. That's too long for gates.
That smug fucking gate. Why can't you leave Babyface alone?
First update in, and the characters already know they're in a screenshot thread. This is going well.
"I collapsed in tears when confronted with that painting. Again."
I'm highly skeptical of any situation where Haru-he Suzumiya is considered "normal".
Tell them about the gate. They'll fucking eat it up.
Hisao flashed actual gang signs at her. Awkwardness ensued.
"Vegan food? WHAT THE HELL'S THIS BULLSHIT!?"
You know, the normal questions to ask when you go to a new school.
It's 1 in the afternoon. That's FAR too early to be hitting the bottle.
I'm imagining something like Dead or Alive Xtreme if over half the characters were uncomfortable.
And have I mentioned how uncomfortable I am in this guy's introduction? See if you can spot why.
I'm already starting to miss Tokimeki High.
Maybe not. You'd better not be related to demons, Bespectacled Boy.
But I can't see him, and he still looks stupid.
Only one of those is in this screenshot.
Hicchan? You mean like.....I don't want to think about it.
"Where did I put that porn? I know I packed i....Oh no. Mom and Dad found it, didn't they?"
Hisao Nakai: put him in your mouth.
And then he died. The end.
I give him three updates, tops.
*breaks out in horribly cruel laughter* The best part? The game freezes on this exact shot.
Yes, Hisao, people with dark skin are normal. I hope I don't have to explain this to you again.
If ever I needed one screenshot to summarize Katawa Shoujo, I'd probably use something else.
HIT THE DECK! SHE'S GOT A GUN!
"The unfit filth will soon fade from existence, and only the glorious Overmen will remain."
"There's no way this school has a secret cage wrestling club that meets on the roof."
"Then how do you explain all these bruises on my stomach?"
"That probably explains why she never gets any work done, and maybe Shizune's current mood."
If anybody knows where to get something to eat, it's probably Misha.
That explains why we're the only people in the cafeteria: the place smells like dead antelope.
You Americans play some weird video games.
"I don't think sex has winners or l-" "EVERYTHING HAS WINNERS AND LOSERS."
I was lucky to grab this before she darted off screen.
Guess what's gonna happen when he starts dating Shizune?
FUCK AUSTRALIA! NOW AND FOREVER!
Do not believe her lies, Hicchan. She's going to raze the land and salt the Earth.
"You sure about that, Hicchan? I mean, she's really invested in this YouTube video."
Actually, I think that's just bishie.
It's always better to go down in a blaze of glory.
"Shizune says that she was e-" "I know what she said."
I guess that's his way of saying that I'm not tackling Shizune's route.
"I mean, it's not something I would LIKE, but I suppose there are worse ways I could spend my time."
"It probably doesn't help that she's actually twisting a knife into me."
There are only two times on any clock: Library Time and Not Library Time.
See if YOU can spot them.
.....OK, fine, that's one of them.
I like to imagine he's actually pressing JUST his fingertips against the door.
"...Did I hit a time warp back to the 1800s?"
How comforting, especially since the teacup has to be invisible or something.
I'd better not have to explain things to you again. That's all I'm going to say.
Lilly Satou...Kenji Setou....you don't think...
Because only Japanese people have accents. I guess.
"Pleased to meet you, Sugartits." ".....I'm sorry. What was that?"
"This early? Aren't we a li-" "Of tea?"
OK, so I didn't just take a badly timed screenshot before. The tea actually is imaginary.
"You mean like you?" "....I.....I, uh...."
"Have I really spent that long with L....Uh, Lilly, do you smell smoke?"
"I'm honestly surprised that she figured it out before I did."
Am I gonna have to break out the Misha heads already? I thought I'd have to wait a month at least.
Don't do it, Lilly. You're messing with forces you cannot control.
"POOR LITTLE GIRL. HAVE YOU LOST YOUR WAY? DO NOT FRET. I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU. FOREVER."
"It sounded like the suffering screams of all of humanity, and they were telling me to...."
THAT'S COMFORTING TO KNOW.
Your fate is sealed. Don't try to delay the inevitable.
"I know what I must do." "Lilly....W-" "Yes, m'lord. We mustn't contaminate the sacrifice."
"It's just that....well, you've seen Lilly, right?"
"The way she can be completely placid one minute, and then start screaming in tongues the next...."
"I don't know why she does that. I keep telling her that Braille varies between languages."
"Then would you like to offer yourself as the sacrifice? Our dark lord is patient, madame."
Yea, I think that's enough demon jokes for one update. Let's go check up on somebody else.
"She doesn't seem particularly comfortable with me looking at her scars."
You're missing out, man. Probably.
She's clearly uncomfortable with the situation. That's already been established.
Your face says "You've crossed a line", but your posture says "I'm gonna be late for Yamakage Match.
You know there's A LOT more to the situation than that. Ragey ragey rage.
Yea, five or six lines describing her burn wounds is "looking in her general direction a few times".
"....I don't see how that relates to my problems with Hanako."
A relatively small librarian completely disconnected from reality: tact.
No doubt how you guys feel about this thread.
Still relevant to the thread. It's amazing how prescient this game's writing is.
Is that Yamaku's equivalent of the n-word?
He's living in a better one.
For Hisao, girls running in terror from him is barely worth mentioning. Let that sink in.
Don't worry, Babyface. Someday, you'll be ready to talk to the ladies.
This one's...a bit hard to respond to, honestly. I mean, Kenji DID ask him what she looks like.
I love how the meaner option's on the top, where you'd normally click. Screw it. Hanako's cute.
Gangs, demons, and cute girls. The myriad secrets of Yamaku High.
"I know what you mean. I'm surprised she didn't have to get her stomach pumped."
My dating strategy, ladies and gents.
And this is pretty much Kenji's entire character: rail on about the feminists and scream himself off
"That girl still has feelings, you know."
Oh, I'm gonna get A LOT of use out of this pic. A LOT of use.
Maybe something out of this one, too.
Hisao, you know that your HEAD is supposed to go on the pillow, right?
That beige wall is simply inspiring.
It's like the game is teasing me with such easy material. DAMN YOU, FOUR LEAF STUDIOS!
Misha's got that covered, and you don't have enough of a running start to take BOTH of you down.
If this image doesn't describe this thread now, it will eventually.
See if you can spot them.
Wrong hint, but I'll allow it.
"Still, I feel really bad about sneezing and accidentally headbutting you in the nose."
What about "Lilly the tall girl" or "Lilly the blonde girl" or "Lilly the Nazi wet dream" or......
("Looks like she packed the good stuff today. I hope Hisao doesn't ask for any.")
"Someday, though. Someday, I'll find out what girls have in between their legs."
Almost like they're regular people.
"What's that little brown smudge on the side of your lip?" ("Aw, man.")
You get it? Because she's walking? And Emi's a couple of screenshots away?
What the hell happened here?
Never mind. It was just a small girl wearing prosthetic legs instead of clothes.
SOMEBODY has to apologize for that fashion sense. Who the hell tucks their shirt into their underwea
Wait, are we playing as Matt Rorie?....Because I'm cool with that.
I fail to see the gender ambiguity that Hisao sees.
Lilly and Hanako are having none of Emi's excuses. Show her no mercy.
He rips open his shirt. Awkwardness ensues.
"........Lilly?........Hanako?...." "....D.....did it hurt?"
Uh, Lilly's from the 1850s, not the 1950s. And that doesn't even begin to explain Hanako.
"Shizune's deaf and spending time with Misha feels like being in a horrible fire."
What the hell's going on with this kid's eye?
"Lilly's story about her blindness has got to be amazing."
You say that like there's this great big conspiracy surrounding Hanako's truancy.
Poor Hisao. College is going to eat you alive.
http://youtu.be/8Sr3ZbSxolI
Curses. Next time, Mutou. Next time.
"Have you considered responding to their personalities instead of their disabilities? Huh?"
"Well, YOU can't, but you understand what I mean, right?"
I feel I can name a couple.
Well, looks like we found out why he was drinking a few screenshots back.
"No, Misha, that's a finger."
Man, what a way to get fired.
This has little to do with Mutou being fired.
Nomiya? Aw, shit. How about we skip him for a billion updates?
"Cold", "dead"....yea, those words describe Nomiya pretty well. Not that we'll ever find out why.
You're doing a great job.
Why is SHE puzzled? She doesn't have to deal with somebody pointing at you and screaming randomly?
http://youtu.be/8Sr3ZbSxolI
I guess just being in the art room makes you sound all artsy and pretentious.
.....How's that even supposed to work?
Or it doesn't when there's an actual girl in the room.
Are you going to compare every girl in this game to some type of rabbit? Or only the girls I like?
I feel like that's a pun.
I DEMAND A THUMPING TECHNO DANCE REMIX.
Too bad. The thread's going on for a billion more updates.
Don't try to hide it from us. We all saw that list of side effects.
Gotta catch 'em all, heart disease. (I expect a techno dance remix of that, too.)
"I'm still not buying it."
That's how biology works.
"Hey, I'm not the one who needs medicine to get their dick working."
"I sincerely doubt that's a real disability."
There's a good chance he does. I think at least one event in each route is watching a girl sleep.
I wouldn't. After all, she DID just get Mutou fired. Just as the feminists planned.
You DO realize that Shizune has a gun, right?
"How long's a person have to wait to eat her damn lunch around here!?"
Can anybody understand Misha?
"That's so beautiful." "Wait, you understand sign language?" "What's sign language?"
The world ends not with a bang, but with a Metzinger.
Kind of an odd time to call a girl fat, especially with the end of the world impending and all.
"Psssst. I think he's talking about your junk." "Why did you lean in that close?"
Come on, Hisao. Demonic gangster jokes never go out of style. Right?..........Right?
We get it: you have erectile dysfunction.
Apparently, a school where everybody has exactly one friend is "tightly knit."
This is the generic answer he gives, by the way. For whatever reason, this elates Nurse Drying Pan.
"You've seen too much as it is. Wouldn't want those pretty little legs broken in half, would you?"
Where's the "go fuck yourself" option? (Lilly's route. Just you wait.)
Everything is her fault, now and forever.
"Did you just say the word 'sigh' out loud?"
And it was here I noticed that this school doesn't have wheelchair accessible ramps leading into it.
"Have you tried telling anybody about this?" "That pink haired girl. Didn't go too well."
I guess everybody at this school is part Pokemon.
Why should Kenji get to keep all the misogyny for himself?
"Probably............................."
Not sure what that means, but moving right along...
See? Even Rin's with me on this one.
"Most of the labels have long, hard to read words. They look like chemical names."
Katawa Shoujo in a nutshell.
"Other people use the track? Fascinating. Simply fascinating."
"Hikikomenotsuriganabichiko O'Connelly....I think."
A fact that has lodged itself quite firmly into my brain over the course of this particular scene.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj0F2KfCvhg Or something.
"And then you took your shirt off in front of me and these other two girls you were with."
"But weren't YOU the one who took off his shirt?"
I'd chastise Hisao for that if we all didn't know that one kid growing up who WOULD do just that.
I've always pegged Hanako as more of a spy. No reason.
Then why didn't you go to the pools?
You're not in a position to say that. *wink wink*
"I prefer a guy who can get it up FAST. *wink wink*"
Was Hisao bathing himself in the toilet?
"If what you seek is 'truth', then your search will be even harder..."
Oh. It's Kenji. Never mind.
Not that there was much to notice in the first place.
I guess that means the Persona 4 reference a while back is completely upside down.
Which were completely fogged up exactly one screenshot ago.
Let's hold onto this until Hisao's dating Lilly.
YOU VASTLY UNDERESTIMATE MY DEDICATION TO PIZZA. Especially knowing it will destroy Babyface's heart
As a die-hard pizza aficionado, I can verify this statement.
"But enough about Domino's."
Kenji's dick can imitate a dying cow. That is all.
Because moribund bovine are erotic. I guess.
You'd be surprised. Some feminists actually consider porn liberating.
With a stiffy? *ba dum tish*
This conversation better stop soon.
"Aren't all movements crappy?" "Huh. You've got a point." "I'm also convincing."
For clips from Borat. You know the ones.
"Leave the soap, though. I feel like we're all gonna need it."
I guess Misha isn't the only one into wearing other people's skin and stealing their identities.
I first read this as "puff out her chest", not "puff out her cheeks". I don't know. I just don't.
"I can't keep waiting, Miss Satou. And neither can my associate. I'd be sleeping with one eye open..
I'd call this an awkward translation, but I'm pretty sure this game was first written in English.
I can think of several reasons why that may be.
"You know what we're talking about. We've seen the 'special brownies' you've been sharing."
"WOOOOH! I'M BEING USED AS AMMO IN SOMEBODY ELSE'S QUARRELS! LET'S DO THIS!"
"She signs so furiously that she sends Misha flying straight to the floor. I think she noticed."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jFaoLrLzd4
Looks like Misha isn't the only psychotic one here...sort of.
Good on you, Misha. I'm still having trouble figuring out what the hell happened to Lilly.
[What was that? 'Hey, come on! Help Lilly cut off my sack'? Can do!]
Then how can you still see them?
"Man, if only Shizune could hear this."
Understandable when you have to pack your shit by the end of the week.
Given what's happened today, this is also understandable.
Neither of them are pleased with this arrangement.
"I feel like Hanako might not be comfortable around other people. But, I AM already up, sooooo....."
"What are you talking about? It's two in the afternoon."
"I mean, I tried that one time, but then I collapsed face-first into the snow."
"WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE COMFORTABLE AROUND ME, YOU GODDAMN WHORE!?"
And then he gets all sloppy with the painting.
"Did you put him up to it?" "Well, of course I did. I'm the class representative."
Then why does this room have a map? And a regular clock?
Which was your plan all along?
Have you tried "fuckbuddy"?
Wait, you're bringing Hanako, of all people, along with you to meet Kenji? This will end REALLY bad.
"What are you doing on the floor?" "......You serious?"
"Oh, you mean that burned up rabbit girl you met in the library the other day?" ".....W...what?"
YOU THINK? (Also, second thoughtS? What?)
No, it's a regular classroom.
Can you save it for when Hisao's actually dating a girl?
Hanako must be really confused about your sudden Metal Gear Solid attitude.
"I swear we'll have our revenge. I can't have that blood on my hands."
"Tell me about it. You should really see these, Lilly, th...aw, damn it!"
I guess Shizune was talking about more than Misha yesterday.
I like to imagine him actually flailing his arms around, like he scared himself with it.
This thread: the screenshot.
Which you can apparently tell from many meters away.
"So, any particular reason you came back?" "......I'll have to get back to you on that."
He doesn't know how to respond to girls enjoying themselves.
Back to your honey, then.
Stop telling these people that they're in a video game. I already have enough problems writing jokes
I know that it doesn't come off much here, but he REALLY talks himself out of running.
"I can't imagine that would place too much stress on my heart."
Full release expected some time in whenever the hell this joke makes sense.
Even though he never mentioned anything about hats.
"That's not what I meant by test date." "Oh....uh...."
It's all because of this memory from when he was very little.
This doesn't get any better with time, and that's not really a joke.
No pause for the festival? That's more depressing than logic!
The diet du jour of half the people reading this.
Must...resist....Persona jokes....
".....Suddenly, I know exactly what it's like being Hanako. It doesn't feel good."
Wouldn't that make it incomplete?
My money's on Misha, if only for the alliteration.
"Light seems to bend around her, and her voice echos across the nothing."
"From beyond all boundaries of space and time, I have tracked you down. There is no escape."
"...in the mood for some curry."
Spoiler alert: every girl you can possibly date (and Kenji) ends up on the roof at some point.
Don't fuck with Yamaku security.
"Hey, Hisao! You've been staring off into space for, like, fifteen minutes!"
"Are you being sarcastic?"
I don't know. Rin doesn't seem too comfortable with it, either.
AND YOU WERE LEGITIMATELY DOING SO WELL.
Probably (hopefully) the latter.
"You have disgraced my clan for the last time, rice ball. I will end you and your kin right here!"
"So....what do girls have in between their legs?"
("Why did you bring him up here?") ("Shut up. I thought it was a good idea, OK?")
Good to know the people in the housing department are idiots.
"......When did this happen?" "I don't know. You've been armless for as long as I've known you."
That's probably a good idea
Guess that means Hisao's not dating Emi.
So Rin and Hanako are rabbits, and Emi's a puppy. I have to wonder what everybody else is.
Emi doesn't understand Final Fantasy X, does she?
"This one time, she dug her claws into my back. It was bad."
http://youtu.be/8Sr3ZbSxolI
Perhaps now would be a good time to tell Lilly that she's standing in the middle of the road.
Well, I guess we know where the tacks from the Tokimeki thread ended up.
It wasn't very wise in the first place.
"This girl wants to party."
It isn't just Fridays for Hanako.
BACK THE FUCK UP. What 7/11s has this guy been in that have bakery sections?
You've forgotten what winter is; all you've accomplished is confusing the hell out of Lilly.
"And neither does yours. Could you explain why you're panting so much?"
"There's also this thing about time travel and Egyptian priestesses, but I haven't worked that in."
A great way to spend a Friday night.
Maybe it's because you have...amnesia!
He won because he got with two girls; he lost because those girls are Rin and Lilly.
This pleases Lilly, for some reason.
"You don't meet too many psychics with erecti-" "YOU KNOW, we should probably get going, Lilly."
"She's gonna find out ev-" "I'd love to chat, but we should REALLY get going."
Yea, THAT'S what you have to worry about debunking.
Get used to that feeling. It's gonna come up quite a bit.
"Rin can go eat a dick, b-DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING....but Lilly's alright."
"And a pretty messed up d-" "Why did I even bring you with us?"
Apparently, the game takes place in 2012. Seriously, go check it out.
"Possibly. Still giving it some thought."
This isn't the time travel angle I promised at the beginning of this thread.
"When she's sleeping, in the shower, out of town, in the bathroom...she just can't be alone."
"No, Hanako's strong. She can go a couple hours without me around. Giving her booze. Still..."
"She really needs the beer, but she doesn't look old enough to get it herself without people asking.
That goes without saying.
"Weren't you fired a few days ago?"
"How many opportunites would they get to say something like that?" "..............." "Never mind."
You're literally one class away from her. It's not particularly weird.
"And she must have poor vision if she has to hold the book that close to her face."
HISTORY IS FOR THE PAST. THE FUTURE IS IN THE CLOUDS.
"I'm still not sure how I got here."
Your Chun-Li cosplay is terrible.
I'm not certain where you're getting the "she" part.
"I was talking to the air."
Are you hitting on your sister? Because there are a LOT of issues with that.
You're realizing that this late in the game? Which I guess is somewhat early in the game?
"Well, you still owe me the money. That second trailer isn't going to pay for itself."
"Hisao? You actually said that one out loud this time. You weren't just thinking it to yourself."
It's almost like she can't see or something. (Or maybe he's still hung up about that walk home.)
"REALLY strong. Like 'I don't think she'll be allowed back in school for the rest of the day' strong
Just be patient. The thread's going to get better.
Will the visuals ever match the narration?
Just at the bottom of that cliff.
It says, "Fresh noodles! Protects you from the feminist threat! Open your eyes, people! Nyaaaooooo!"
"And swipe the register."
"Good thing this is the stand from the vision-impaired class. Makes it a lot easier lying to her."
"Alright: I'll create a diversion, and you kick it to the tea room. I'll meet you at sunset."
"That much, huh? Screw it. Put it back. I'm not going to jail over 2500 yen."
"Well...yea. You just told me to a minute ago."
OK, so Lilly and Misha are obviously squirrels. I guess that leaves Shizune. I'm betting on hedgehog
And Lilly's wearing a "get me the hell out of here" expression on her face.
There isn't a lot to be envious of.
That you never bothered paying for the first drink?
Man, this is worse than the time Kenji did the exact same thing on Family Guy.
If anything, it just makes the situation worse.
And then Kenji busted out some sick licks.
So the students live in the movie "Taken"?.......*low pitched groan*.......
".............." "..........*slowly backs away from Lilly*......"
It's an animated movie. I can't imagine that would do much for her. Plus, it's fucking Akira.
Screw it. I guess we're dating Lilly, then.
She can hear it just fine, and it makes her day.
"She points two of her fingers to her eyes, and then to mine."
"Hey, Lilly! You gotta see this!"
How did I miss this on my first playthrough?
"Beer and liquor, annihilate your shitter."
Oh. I guess that works, as well.
That's right: Hisao's dating Lilly first. I mean, you already knew that at the top of the update...
"This time, I actually use the shower. Can't believe I made that mistake my whole life."
"Please get out of my mind."
Well, Misha, at least. Makes informing Shizune of said rumors massively tedious and cumbersome.
And class hasn't even started.
Yea, you'd have to be a real douche to ask a girl if you can eat lunch with her and then space out.
Hisao's barely into this story arc, and already, two girls have made their opinions of him clear.
Don't you mean "tea set"? Or is "chess" code for something?......It's meth, isn't it?
You've got to finish each game really fast before the pieces all pop out of the board.
"Remember: both of our asses are on the line for this."
You mean he was teaching you about electrons or whatever, and then "Surprise test, motherfuckers!"?
"We're getting the chair."
He would've come, but he was too busy rocking the eff out.
You get it?......Wait, this is a Japanese pun. You probably DON'T get it.
Makes you wonder if the two of them have any other games, or if Hanako's just an asshole.
"I meant with each other. How long have you been playing chess with each other?"
"....she often says angry things I can't understand after we've finished a game."
"........Hisao? Are you going to say anything?" "........." "Hisao?"
That must feel weird. For both of them.
Alternative interpretation: "Oh, yea, and you look good or whatever."
Again, weirding out Hanako.
Lilly's very firm on that point. When she first saw Mask, she flipped the fuck OUT.
"Relax, Hanako. I'm much better about controlling it than I was that last time."
And just like that, we jump from that "lunch" event (Hisao forgot to eat) to the very next day.
http://youtu.be/8Sr3ZbSxolI
He's like spam mail incarnate.
The question is if you'll even get it.
Hisao's on the slippery slope to Butt Love.
"Doesn't feel as good as being used in somebody else's arguments, though."
Is Hisao a troll? I don't understand.
Kenji and Shizune walk into a bar. Kenji screams that the feminists have invaded and promptly leaves
So do the Japanese. And the Chinese. And the Indians. And a lot of other people.
Me? Wait, I'm not blonde. At least right now.
Finish as in "read them all in two days", or finish as in "read the book sleeve and said done"?
OK, so it's more like this:
"When will people stop asking me about my heritage? Should I just smear half my face in make-up?"
All they had to watch was DuckTales. It was a real duck blur. (OK, that's enough DuckTales jokes.)
In light of Mutou, this isn't a compliment.
"But what about Hana-" "Eh, fuck Hanako. I'm more interested in you." "......OK."
It's coming up in two days.
I think you meant "after forty minutes".
What a weird way to measure things, especially the "any" part. It's like he has somebody in mind....
You mean she doesn't know where to get a present for Hanako? Prepare for a shitty birthday, girl.
What exactly do you mean by that?
You mean you were expecting her to swing her arms all over the place when deep in thought?
Keep in mind the scene opened with him watching TV in a store window.
And it takes him effort to find said store.
"Hisao, aren't we supposed to be at the electronics store?" "Later, later. I need my Baskin Robbins.
I was going to make an ice cream joke, but then I noticed those people in the back.
Yes. You are the only person on the planet who enjoys cold temperatures.
Gotta agree with you on that one.
"And then your heart craps out on you, and you spend four months in some dingy hospital b-" "Hisao."
Looks like Akira isn't the only character with gender identity issues.
Speak of the devil. And Romeo & Juliet-esque imagery.
And the other devil, too.
Were you planning on.............?
"Suddenly, I'm not too miffed about that."
"It's your sister, man. It ain't happening."
Is he a mind reader? Is that his disability? How unique!
Exactly. You've got characters like Misha, and......uh.....
You'd....actually, you probably get the point by now.
Oh, right. Remember that plot point? You know, the entire reason they came to the city?
You know, I wanted to make a joke about how she's reading a book in this screenshot.
"The blind will gaze upon time's end; the deaf will scream at terrors unseen; and the Red Rose....."
That look. That "oh hell" look communicates so much.
Hisao would probably rap about it if not for his arrhythmia.
......Moving right along.....
"Our prices are so low, we flip our inventory like you wouldn't believe!"
For an antique store? I'd say it's par for the course.
"And th..."....What's that face on the far left? I didn't Photoshop that in or anything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LY5YRDUxa4s
I get it. You guys had trouble reading that blog.
Wait, so the girl who gave the main character a heart attack remains completely faceless?
Hideaki explained that whole "your sister is hitting on you" thing. She's not taking it well.
"But where would we find corn starch in THIS city?"
Oh. Your plan was to wander around the city and hope something came up.
And hope to hell she doesn't catch on.
Should I have been keeping a caffeine counter on screen this whole time? I feel like I should've.
"There are just so many. I don't know...I just....*breaks down into tears*"
("That was certainly quick of him. Does he have some emotional problems I'm not aware of?")
"But isn't army camouflage brown, now?" "......What's your favorite color?"
Smooth transition, Casanova.
I thought we established this a couple of updates ago.
This is how the next day begins: Hisao breaking into the girl's dorms.
Wait a second: did Lilly learn how to write? How? Why? This brings up so many questions.
"P.S. Bring some rope and some bear mace. You'll understand why soon enough."
("Oh, shit. Did the cops find out that fast? We've gotta hid-") ("Calm down, Lilly.")
"......Yes?" "Come in. (He'd better not look under the bed.)"
Especially since the music I've been using for all the sex jokes is playing in this scene.
The music got to him. But can you blame him?
"It looks exactly like the boy's dorm. Must be because of her blindness."
("Effing buzzkill.") "What was that?" "I'd kill for some cake?"
("Don't you fucking remind me.")
It insulted her ancestors. It must pay for its crimes.
Hisao's birthday present? Body swap!
I have to agree with him on this one. This is just so heartwarming and sweet.
("Did you bring the strong stuff?") ("You know I did.")
How scary do you have to be when dolls are scared to be in your presence? Or is it the teddy bear?
Give her some time to enjoy her presents, Lilly.
"If you fail, I want nothing more to do with you."
"Wait, these are her death metal albums. I correct my mistake and reach for the books."
Or maybe it's Akira. Same dif.
He seems comfortable hitting on Lilly in your presence. Why change it in Hanako's?
Oh, no. No no no no no no. What are you doing, Akira? This can't end well.
Hanako's wondering if she can drink herself into French fluency, despite her repeated failures.
She's waiting for you to leave.
"Stay beautiful, Sugartits."
In case you doubted me: Lilly's clearly on edge, and Hanako's first priority is to grab the booze.
Don't enable her, Lilly. Then there won't be any left for the rest of us.
She's blind. Why would she even have glasses?
"I wonder what Hanako's seeing."
"What did we do tonight?"
"Lilly won't move or speak, and Hanako.....wait, where's Hanako?"
After she hit on Hisao way too forcefully. And then hit him way too forcefully.
Get those Persona jokes out of your system, guys.
"She's out cold. Is she....usually like this?"
"Make sure she's sleeping on her side. I know what I'm talking about."
"Was....was that supposed to be a compliment?"
"This isn't any way fo....and she vomited on my face. Wonderful."
I guess it would be perfectly fine for the guy's dorm.
Watching women sleep count: 1.
Yes, that's how time works.
Ask her if you could record her voice for her ringtone. I'm sure it'll go over really well.
"What did we do last night? And why do you smell like vomit?"
If only this was video and not a still screenshot.
"I'd check her pulse if I knew how to do that."
"Of ALL the times for my hearing to be better than everybody else's..."
You say that like you speak from experience....Please tell me you're not speaking from experience.
Also take a shot when Hisao touches a girl on the shoulder.
You look worse when you're reading.
How does that work? "Fuck you, emotions. You can't touch me. I'm hung over."
..............Excuse me. I have to get down to the floor and find out where my jaw has dropped.
And this is where Katawa Shoujo becomes utterly depressing. In a good way, mind you.
"Is this a sponge?" "You're on your own!"
Given all the demon related events that have happened to her, this isn't the best thing to give her.
And by that, he means the screenshot immediately following this one.
"Her hand reaches for the empty bottle like a regular person's might reach for an alarm clock."
The running team does NOT fuck around, and neither does Hanako.
How bad does Lilly's relationship with her parents have to be if Hanako's alcoholism lightens things
"Lilly wasn't kidding when she said Hanako's a violent drunk."
"THE DARKNESS BECKONS. THERE IS NO ESCAPE."
"Can this whole 'eternal suffering' thing wait? I'm nursing a hangover."
He's only saying that because Shizune stabbed him 23 times.
Because you're not supposed to sleep in class?
Worst time for a printer malfunction.
"What are you talking about? I haven.....But we're with each other so m....Hicchan, could you help?"
"The thumbs up quickly go away when they realize I'm still alive."
"I mean, you looked A LOT worse than me, and, well, this usually helps me get through the pain."
".....A grocery list takes the pain away?" "Uh-huh." "........"
I guess because she's five years old.
"Let me guess: she used that 'it helps her through the pain' excuse, didn't she?"
Is she drawn into the background, or is this just a really close zoom?
She doesn't care if anyone sees, and neither does Hisao.
What the fuck is she trying to make?
"Hisao....You said that one out loud, too." ".....I knew I should've dated Shizune."
After she made her presence known.
"They also make me think I'm flying through the Bacon Principality at night, so same diff, right?"
"And any other conditions I might have."
Yes, that's how lines work.
"We haven't even gotten back to school, and you've already eaten half my groceries for the week."
"Being able to stand up while you pee, not having to worry as much about shaving, scratch-" "Lilly."
"Are you sure? I didn't hear you speaking."
Tell her about your erectile dysfunction. It'll all work out in the end.
Try to imagine this in your head. Try to imagine how absolutely goofy it looks.
She saw the preview I posted WAY back in the Tokimeki thread. She's cautious.
"Happy to be with me and everything."
This is the most sinister goddamn letter imagineable. You'd think Iwanako ran over the guy's cat.
Write her back. Fuck with her mind.
"WHY COULDN'T THAT BITCH HAVE JUST LEFT ME ALONE INSTEAD OF BEING ALL NICE AND CORDIAL!? GOD!"
That was two years ago. You're fine.
Maybe if Hisao hadn't spammed the "socialize" button for the entire month, this wouldn't be happenin
Tell me about it. Fucking language makes no sense.
"LILLY IS NO MORE. YOU SHALL BE MY NEW VESSEL."
Emi? I'm putting my money on Emi.
I THOUGHT I'D PUT THIS BEHIND ME.
Apparently, I'm better at casting voice actors than I give myself credit for.
......................................Point taken.
"I think I do, but I've always had trouble figuring out which one was the genius......"
"Why is your shirt on backwards? And open?"
".....I'm confused. What was that first part supposed to mean?"
Maybe if you brought up her scars less often, they wouldn't be so common.
WHO FORGOT TO DRAW THIS SCENE!?
Oh. He was pissed that they've been in contact with each other.
And that's the last we're hearing of her in Lilly's route.
"I guess Emi found out, too."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2S7iwEHOV4
How come I don't remember this version of Emi's face from my previous playthrough?
Wait, is Hisao's arrythmia kicking in? So Misha bashing his head into a desk does nothing, but this?
Glad to see the guys aren't the only racists in the cast.
"Not where it counts." "DAMN IT, RIN!"
"This means I get to worry about you." - Pretty much the actual meaning behind this.
He's finally doing well in English class.
Hanako's gritting her teeth like crazy during all this.
Makes where this is ending up all the more awkward.
"Actually, I'm His-" "Did something happen to Hanako's voice?"
...How about we skip this scene before the rabbit comparisons worm their way in?
"Hisao, do you have any idea why their voices sound so weird? And why they keep saying they're me?"
"She's doing it again, isn't she? I thought Hideaki told her to cut it out."
Well, except for Hideaki. You'll always have Hideaki.
Where's The Legend of Zelda: Pilgrimage to the Past? I want that Zelda game.
Any reason why Hisao's black in this shot?
"Where has my body gone? What's this feeling on my....what do I even call it?"
Revelations was pretty good, but the story in III sucked pretty hard.
Oh, never mind. They're just talking about....what the hell ARE they talking about?
[Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun. That's why I'm packing, and boy, you'd better run.]
I doubt there's a civil way of asking somebody how they know about Poker Face if they're deaf.
I'm four pictures in, and I'm already confused.
"Could you do something about the smell, too?" "From Hanako?" "Yes, from Mikado."
Gonna get A LOT of use out of this one.
If only this translated to my life, too.
He's talking about eavesdropping.
"It" refers to the subject of Lilly's nationality. Keep in mind that he shares a class with her.
"It makes me want to ROCK, man. Just ROCK the fuck out."
Assuming he had a mother at any point in history.
I'm curious how he found out what the time travel angle would be.
He assumes Hisao's the crazy stalker type.
Fortunately, it's right next to the beginning of this screenshot.
No, Hisao. Think about your arrhythmia. You don't have the flow, man!
That's just Yuuko. She can't afford to live anywhere but the student dorms.
"WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER ME!? NNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"
I guess that makes Lilly Lovers. *ba tum tish*
This is where things get uncomfortable. Be forewarned.
This is the very next day. You'd think Hisao didn't move an inch from her door.
And THIS is where Hanako's theme starts playing. You know, the one that makes me feel horrible.
You're drinking this early in the morning? What has happened to you?
"At least I think it's playful. I don't understand much English, mind you."
That music's still playing, so this is a completely understandable sound to make.
God, get it together, Lilly. You think she'd be awake for Hanako shutting everybody out.
This better not be about Hanako.
"...maybe I should've gone with my other plan and talked to her about it."
.......................................
............................I still don't have anything to finish these captions. You figure it out.
"You know, aside from that whole 'Hanako is suicidally depressed' thing I woke you up with."
What a weird time to worry about her diet.
Especially when the message you're sending is, "I care about you enough to grab a Hot Pocket."
Some of them weren't joking.
She could've thrown it out. Or somebody else could've eaten it. Or the janitors could've tossed it.
"Enough about Hanako's awful mood. Time to start shaving."
"What would feel worse for Lilly: peach fuzz or razor cuts?"
It means he can fuck with her.
You're talking about Lilly, right? Not Hanako?
"Yuuko's existence frustrates me."
Maybe your novels should be a bit more visual? Heh? You catch my drift?
"Her girlish giggle reminds me that she has a vagina."
Glad to see she hasn't worked on her drinking problem.
Why is Hisao speaking French? Did he succeed where Hanako failed?
Apparently, Lilly's part butterfly...which explains that incident on the roof, come to think of it.
"Oh, you should see her in a bathing suit. She looks gorgeous." "How would YOU know?"
I was wondering who met the blind girl and thought to chuck her in the ocean.
"How would I know what the beaches look like, Hisao?" "Better than me." ("That was a joke.")
"It's been a most bully day! Why, I dare say my ventures have adopted a more ebullient humor."
Ah, yes, that momentous occasion in world history when the Dutch discovered the land of burn victims
Her hair and name color are pink. Therefore, she must write in pink, too.
Not in this route, he can't.
That's the last time she'll be peeing on the rug. Wait, EMI'S the dog, right?
"You know, this would probably be easier if we went in the airport, Hanako."
".......Sooooooo........wanna hug it up?"
"Don't worry, Hanako. I'm still blind."
Gotta remind us that you're not a guy.
Everybody decided to haul out of Hokkaido once they found out the place was connected to Contact.
You mean you're checking her out.
Great way to start your "love confession" trip.
This probably isn't what Hanako needs to take her mind off the past few days.
"Fucking Hanako, making me g-" "...Hi.....Hisao?" "......Damn it."
There are better ways to pick up chicks.
THESE AREN'T ONE OF THEM.
You don't know the half of it.
"And I'll place this card face down, in defense mode. Your move, Hanako."
"Wait a minute, we're playing poker?"
("Take him for all he's worth.") ("Even his medication?") ("Especially his medication.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc_VBFu9VLY
Did one of the developers just take a picture of their house and apply a Photoshop filter?
That one tree is simply surrounding the house.
I'm with you on that one.
Possibly under several hundred tons of steel and cement.
I think the word you want is "terrifyingly isolated".....OK, words.
Subtext: he's sleeping on the couch.
"And the unfinished meals still lying on the table, and the doors that are all broken off..."
Oh, you thought I was kidding, didn't you? Nope: Hisao's gonna spend the whole weekend on this couch
("Why did you invite him, again?") ("Shut up, Hanako. I've got something planned, alright?") ("...")
"An electric stove? What savages could possibly live under these oppressive conditions?"
"Wait a minute, I slept for eight hours?"
Is Lilly's response to that question.
You're a talkative sleeper, Hisao, and that's not a good thing.
Call it a hunch, but I don't think this trip will solve that problem.
You DO remember what happened when you first arrived, right?
("Should I draw a penis on his face?") ("Do whatever you want. I don't really care.")
He decides not to fight the inevitable. He could always use a tattoo, after all.
How passive-aggressive, Lilly.
On second thought, a tattoo might not be the best idea.
Yea, you wouldn't want Lilly to see you smirking. You'd never live it down.
I feel I know what Lilly's in the mood for this noon.
And it clearly isn't that.
"Where did I put my damn cane?"
Nice to see you're watching your health.
Great way to insult her intelligence, especially when you plan on confessing your love to her.
Did Hanako just abbreviate the word "morning"? From its beginning? I'm mostly curious how.
http://youtu.be/8Sr3ZbSxolI
"I'd say the same to you, but I suppose I can't really do that, either."
It's her finger, Hisao. Not her leg.....yet.
Because only Europeans separate forks and knives?
Man, Lilly cut herself DEEP.
Damn it, Lilly. What did I tell you about enabling Hanako's addictions?
You say that like you're living in BioShock. I mean, yea, alcohol has given Hanako a Big Daddy voice
I guess irresponsibility runs in the family.
"Why do you think we're sleeping in separate rooms?"
I don't recall too many classes in drinking back at Yamaku.
I'm not sure how much Lilly would enjoy being a cliche.
Apparently, they're eating on the couch. Otherwise, I have no clue why they didn't use the kitchen.
"What was that about us being malformed?" "Oh, relax. There's no way Hanako's gonna remember that."
Consider it revenge for waking her up with Hanako's isolation a few updates back.
Kenji would be so proud of you, Hisao.
"The bleeding of her finger"? Why is Hisao using such clunky language?
"I mean, genitalia are one thing..."
"..........What the flipping fuck?"
Great way to describe your prospective girlfriend.
Well, this walk suddenly turned ominous. Call me when they discover another survivor.
Oh, right. Remember her? (It's been, like, twenty lines since her existence has been acknowledged.)
Yea, I'm confused about this one, too. What's screwing with Hisao's legs so suddenly?
Hmmm......Call it a hunch, but I don't think I thought this joke through....
Uh....when I made that joke about neglecting his health, I didn't mean it like THIS.
Hisao had a near death experience. Let's skip to the next day.
Or maybe later that same day. It's still an odd transition.
Akira found out somebody's been messing with her booze. She's not pleased.
You know, the very clearly setting sun that we can all see.
What oddly violent wording. It sounds like you had to slap the shit outta Hanako before she'd sleep.
"Uh, Lilly?.....You said that one out loud, too."
The Lifestream bursts from beneath the Earth to make Hisao's feelings known.
"I think we should see other people."
Like Kefka, but exactly the opposite. (That's far too soon to make another Final Fantasy joke.)
"................................Pardon?"
"You're an idiot who couldn't express a genuine emotion if your life depended on it."
Nothing to say here. Just a really good screenshot, is all.
"I'm still not sure why I called her an idiot."
"You've spent the last few hours profusely apologizing. I get it. You don't need to keep it up."
Except his problems didn't start until high school. Plus he could've prevented that little episode.
When did they become British?
I'd post the sex music, but....uh....guess what actually happens this time?
"You know what a girl likes."
That she has a weird laugh?
This is her response to "I love you". Glad to see Hisao's not the only one to screw this up.
Oh, I almost forgot: what's Hanako been doing this whole time?
Define "crying". And when you were holding said body, because that changes EVERYTHING.
What a strange thought. "You know what this medicine reminds me of? A school fulla disabled students
("Oh, no. Is he hitting on me? You can get through this. Just keep a calm face, and try to forget.")
("Why's he the one gagging? At least he got to sleep.")
And how did he learn to abbreviate a word without changing a single letter?
Hisao and Lilly simultaneously realized that neither of them bothered to clean up.
Anything to get her mind off...that.
"We must have sex. Again."
I feel like half the trip has been, "Oh, and Hanako's there. Forgot about her."
Thanks for making all my jokes so obvious. Should make the rest of this feature real entertaining.
Apparently, Hanako's beaming with joy.
Oh, that makes things SO MUCH WORSE in SO MANY WAYS.
"Weren't we having breakfast or something? How did I end up taking a bath?"
"I just need to use the bathroom. Don't watch."
How long did she wait to pull that one?
If I had a vagina, this would describe me so well.
Again, take note of how they didn't clean up the sweaty musk they left behind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFlg5HncqV8
I'm pretty sure that's been established.
Fuck with her behind her back. By which I mean her front.
What this picture doesn't show is the mushroom cloud she's blissfully staring at.
Relations between Shizune and Misha take a noticeable dive.
Anything to keep her mind off the horrors she bore witness to these past few days.
"Shicchan's been going crazy these past few days, and she s-What? No, I was just asking him."
You diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.
"You don't understand. You're the only person I can come to."
Well, of course Shicchan's going to be fine. She can find another victim just fine.
"Why did I think floor food was ever a good idea?"
Misha knows, but won't sign it to Shizune. Consider it her revenge.
It wasn't a well thought out revenge plan, is what I'm getting at.
"So............." "........You wanted to say something, Hanako?" "..........So..........."
Misha's words, obviously. There's a reason Shizune has her hands behind her back.
"Fucking Hanako. Why can't you be more honest with us, you piece of shit?"
Hisao, I think you're reading her lines.
"I don't know. It's a class for students with limited vision, not limited hearing."
("I hope she interprets 'batting off' as a metaphor.")
Wait, doesn't Tanabata happen WAY earlier in Shizune's route? What is up with the pacing?
Meaning this story's going to end with a god-king erupting out of Hisao's chest.
................Did you just call Hanako a slut?
Even though you see them every day.
"All up inside her?" "...............What was that, Shortie?"
"No, back the fuck up a second. Are you saying you fucked my little sister?" "Uuuuuuuuuu..........."
She says that more for the girls' sake than for Hisao's.
Yea, I wish. The closest we get to a three way in this game is when Hisao has sex with Emi.
She says that more for her sake than for Hisao's.
"So......how about that gate at the front of the school, huh?"
I'd make a Cockey accent joke here if I knew how to type in a Cockney accent.
This is the Satou response to Hanako's question, "Did you have fun in Scotland?"
What you're doing to Lilly is worse than what Hisao did. Just saying.
Surprise surprise, the conversation has turned to Shizune. I am not kidding.
"Every. time. *slowly backs out of room, eyes never leaving Hisao's vicinity*"
"It's almost like she's used t-wait a minute."
You mean she's an option? I wish I knew that before! Would've led the thread with that!
Don't you think it's strange that you keep calling her motherly after you've fucked her twice?
Just what every girl wants to hear.
Good. That means there's no risk of Lilly stumbling upon this thread.
"Last time I take relationship advice from any of my classmates."
Pretty much out of nowhere. Get used to it, if only for a bit.
Seems a little late to check for STDs.
".....No, no, I don't like the look of this." "What is it?" ".....Chocolate chip baby."
This is Hisao's exercise regiment: something he'd be doing anyway in a school as big as this.
"Last time I base my life decisions off Sword Art Online."
"Do you ever regret being blind? Huh? Do you ever feel like shit for not being like everybody else?"
Showering away the shame.
Like that time she rather unselfishly didn't leave Hisao to die on a walking path.
She's being polite about it.
Nonexistent til now, that is.
This girl, apparently. I know there's a list compiling all their names somewhere. Here, it's Naomi.
"No sex with Hanako?" "No sex with Hanako."
If I had to describe this screenshot, I'd say that it reminds me of something random and confusing.
As scary as Shizune is with a knife, I can't imagine how terrifying an older Hideaki would be.
This was before puberty corrected Lilly's crippling Diagonal Mouth Disease.
"Wait, why DID Misha dye her hair?" "Shizune said she'd replace her with Miki." "Dayumn."
Not even Background Character in the middle.
You learn a new word every day. Now I just have to figure out what the fuck it means.
What kind of restaurant would you go to where you'd expect the menu to be in three languages?
"Grilled cheese with chicken fritters and a kid's soda. Sounds good enough."
"I want Poseidon to know I mean business."
Huh. I really wasn't far off a couple of pictures back, was I?
He's still pissed off about the voodoo joke, isn't he? I thought it was funny at the time.
Anything to get Lilly drunk, I take it.
Yea, she spent years perfecting her ability to fold liquid.
"Just how many men have you fucked in your day?"
"So it was multiple?" "Hisao, please, I don't want to talk about it."
I don't need any better proof than this.
"Lady-parts? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS!?"
This is pretty much all we get to find out about his past life.
I'd make a Yu-Gi-Oh/Fragile Dreams joke, but I don't know how the chronology would work.
But enough about [INSERT ANY GAME HERE].
You lost me at "friendship of Shizune, Misha".
"The name's Nakai. Hisao Na-OW!" "Hisao?" "What just happened now?"
Is it racist that Lilly sounds like a fortune cookie?
"But she's behind me, now. I angsted her out of my life for good."
Enough to drive her away with your perpetually sour mood.
Mention the part where you wrote her back just to fuck with her.
Presumably, he was OK with the near heart attack.
Uh, Hisao...you DO remember when Lilly said you're not a good liar, right?
"And that's when the valkyries showed up."
"Like, at all. It's hard to concentrate on anything when you're talking about my demeanor."
"She lets me nuzzle my face in her hand, and I'm putty in her fingers."
Kind of an odd place to make it rain, isn't it? Even if there's nobody else around.
"Oh, well. When in Rome..."
"In fact, he isn't dressed at all."
"There is no way I'm taking my shirt off in public again."
How's it "sure enough" when it's unreliable?
A stupidly esoteric reference?
Watching women sleep count: two.
Tell me, Hisao: what is your opinion of people's knees?
Why did Lilly insist on sleeping in Hisao's room?
God, just look at her. Poor girl looks HIDEOUS.
Uh, shower? Are you sure you want Kenji to see your girlfriend naked?
Or kissing. Kissing comes first, apparently.
She's calling him a pussy.
"Nah. Stopped dreaming about that stuff long ago. Got my medication to thank for that."
"In your dreams?" "Uh, yea, I guess."
He finally found out. After having sex with Lilly. Twice.
"Oi? When'd we become British folk?" "I don't bloody know, my dear." "Jolly good!"
"Not many people can lick the inside of their knee."
Because he's listened so well to you in the time that you've known him.
Not entirely sure where th-
Fake-ish Genghis Khan quote as the joke.
No, not at all. I don't know many people who did.
Unfortunately, that piece is illegal in...pretty much everywhere, really.
Those are the first words out of his mouth after three hours of tea staring.
I don't like where this is going.
Remember this. It's going to be pretty damn important.
"How can me and Lilly have sex if Hanako's not with us?"
There's a first time for everything.
To Misha head or not to Misha head.
"Rock, paper scissors..."
"It sounds wet and shameful. My curiosity has piqued."
Well, she did explicitly ask you if you wanted to fuck. That's a pretty big hint.
"Man, her legs sure are thin and bony. Has she b-" "Hisao, why are you poking me in the ribs?"
"One girl isn't enough. I must have them all. More. More! MORE!"
You've got a long way to go, boy.
"Bitch, please. I'm doing FABULOUS."
You must feel real offended.
"I needed the time. You understand that, right? It's...a side effect of the medication."
Which part: the five seconds of sex or the ten seconds of heart attack?
No matter how many times you hear it, you're never truly used to hearing someone poop.
So pooping is a hobby for him? Where the hell is this even going?
"Man, I want to slap those glasses of her face SO HARD right now. But I have to resist those urges."
"Thanks for the bleeding eardrum. Is this how Shizune went deaf?"
"You DO know that I have a boyfriend, right? And that you're porking my little sis? *click*"
I don't know what you were expecting out of that, Hisao.
Oddly the most feminine Akira looks at any point in the story.
Guess it runs in the misshapen family.
"Because it's difficult to work a genki legless girl and her vind-" "Uh, I'm talking about family."
"......Not good?" "Yea, not good."
Only to live with you a few months later.
"Girl doesn't appreciate a good circle jerk. Kids these days..."
"Fucking dad. Man, if I was in t-" "YOU'RE the nineteen year old here, right?" "Yea, sure, whatever.
It's not complicated. Really, the tea does most of the work.
Then this game just took a hard left turn into Depression Town. Again.
"You don't want to end up killing yourself or anything stupid like that."
"Hurry before somebody sees you in your school uniform!"
Hisao being British count: way too goddamn high.
"In fact, I think I recognize two of them. Why did Emi and Rin pick today for their picnic?"
"I'm pregnant. And you're the mother."
"I have always wanted to be a mother. I am so happy."
She's just repeating everything he says in this scene.
"Fucking Hanako. Why can't she be consistent wi-" "Lilly....what the fuck?"
Because nothing bad has happened when you two had a long distance phone conversation.
Nnnnngggh. This game REALLY knows how to wring my emotions dry.
Making what you did with her two to three times wildly illegal.
It wouldn't have been all that. Who'd want to see Lilly in a yukata?.....*sniffle*....
NO COMIC RELIEF CHARACTERS. THIS IS A SAD MOMENT.
Something really, really stupid.
They want to see you smile. You look like shit, and they wanna be there for you.
"That's it? Your fucking girlfriend's moving? Can't believe I wasted my time with this shit."
Let's leave her alone for a bit. The rest of the thread should do just fine.
"Oh, shit. Is that a gun? I'd bet-oh, no. Where could I possibly hide?"
Hope it makes you feel better about your sister going to live with your shitty parents.
And then Hisao and Shizune had sex with Misha.
"It's like they have practice with this kind of thing."
"Nakai, Hisao. Mysteriously went missing on th....this is today. What exactly is she planning?"
"Free will is an illusion, and we must stamp it out under the cold heel of an iron boot."
Once again, I have trouble figuring out where Misha ends and Shizune begins.
Well, there were some periods of democratic monarchs in Lunar history.
Don't make Lilly pull Ikutsuki face on you. It's not pretty.
"Where have you been all my life?"
Don't mind them, Hisao. They don't understand your taste in women.
It's less heartwarming when you realize it's a "pack your shit" gaze.
Despite the fact that you open this scene with your eyes closed.
"Strong emotional bonds? I just don't understand kids these days."
"I don't know. We had to get out of there fast, so there wasn't enough time to see if she survived.
Shizune's dead, Lilly's leaving the country. Smiles all around!
Hisao Nakai: never interested in knowledge.
What an awkward housewarming gift the new owners are in for.
"Mm-hm. I saw the bottle of Hennessy hanging outta your bag and realized it was now or never."
Oh. So they met at the movies. That's......uncomfortable.
Got to agree with her on this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9a9ldC5uWk
"And now they come back to taunt me at my most vulnerable moment. WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME SO!?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc_VBFu9VLY
A little soon to move onto another girl, isn't it?
"I'm suddenly reminded of when Hanako confided in me her plans for world domination."
"I'm gonna have to be wary of all the propaganda in the coming months."
I'm gonna like this shit.
........Hard to kick a guy when he's down. How about I simply le-
Uh.....Hisao.....what are you thinking?
This can't end well. There's absolutely no way this could possibly end well.
"FUCK YOU, GATES. I'VE GOT A RELATIONSHIP TO SAVE."
"Wait a minute, this isn't the airport? Damn it. Let's try that again."
There was a friendly, but naive king...
...who wed a very nasty queen.
The King was loved BUUUUT the queen was feared.
Til one day strolling in his court...
He lost his life AAAAAAND...
I wonder how you sign "nya-ha-ha." I have to imagine it trips Misha up.
OK, so maybe he survived. Stranger things have happened.
There's not a lot to remember.
Or maybe your life became Heavy Rain.
"Still a little embarrassed that he had to tell me what an airport looks like."
We've been over this. Twice.
"Still, I really wish he hadn't stitched the wound back up with a star pattern. I look ridiculous."
"Our son's gonna survive? OK, that's all we needed to know. Let's book it out of here!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xd4YGvZ_fJI
"Wait a sec. There's a note here....'Sorry about the heart attack, but I've got a flight to catch.'
Just kidding! Happy ending after all.
This very slightly perturbs Hisao. Only slightly.
I'll just leave this here. Let you soak in the genuine emotion.
"Fuck you, heart condition. I'm in love."
"Fuck your family in Scotland. High school romance is what truly matters."
Lilly, you're reading his lines, again.
Music box notwithstanding. Just how long has that thing been playing for?
"I still have no idea how she convinced me into moving to Scotland with her."
"Of course. Somebody has to explain all the insane crap that's happened these past few days."
So what better way to protect yourself than by being as close as possible to them?
"Good thing those school officials didn't buy his 'androgyny is a disability' excuse."
I don't know. The thing's apparently been idling in the runway for about a week know.
What the hell are you talking about? I've spent the past four hours staring at this.
"Why I chose to come out here in the mi-oh, no. Oh, please tell me this isn't happening again."
Time fuckery will do that to a man.
"Guess I'm dating Shizune."
He's not making the same mistake twice.
"What's the worst that could happen?"
Or maybe he will make the same mistake twice. Stranger things have happened.
"Uh-huh, nice to meet you. Have fun with your shitty Scottish family." ".............I........uh..."
You know better than this. Don't you fucking do it.
Maybe he doesn't know better.
But she does. She knows all too well.
"It was prophecied unto me on a dark autumn night. They shall bring about a glorious new epoch."
Well, at least this time, it's not because he looked at her too much. That's a step. I guess.
"I'd better look at her some more. Just to be certain."
Not yet. Hanako comes later.
Well, at least this time, it's not because he looked at her too much. That's a step. I guess.
Yea, that's it (even if the second set of quotes is fucked up).
In all timelines, Hanako is cute. DO NOT FIGHT FATE.
"You hear that, Shizune? This man has no plans. You hold on to him f-" [I didn't hear that.]
These things take time, Hisao. It takes a long while before a girl will stop opening fire on you.
I don't know. Watching Shizune and Misha communicate in tandem DOES remind me of Grima.
I assume this is a step up from puppy.
Shizune's not a big fan of horrific scars, as she's made clear to poor Hanako.
"Wait, it's the Shanghai........Screw it. I've got nothing better to do."
Well, she aimed AWAY from the heart, if that counts for anything.
Then just be thankful you didn't date Hanako.
[You have conquered gravity. This deserves applause.]
He isn't. Don't you dare fuck with me, Babyface.
"Besides, randomly hopping to express emotions is Misha's thing."
Is this racist or just kind of stupid? Wait, it's a Chinese-themed restaurant; I'm going with racist
"Amazing that she still works here in this alternate timeline."
The only route where this isn't applicable is pretty much Shizune's. How not-really-that-ironic.
[You will be the first to die.]
"Good thing Shizune didn't hear th-oh, right. Misha's going to sign it to her, anyway."
[On second thought, him. He's going to die first.]
What a complex narrative.
Like, literally quivering. Doesn't capture well in a screenshot.
A lot of things happen between screenshots/updates. Like Shizune asking him to join Student Council.
("This, I know all too well.")
This thread, for instance.
"And you have to tell us about how your girlfriends give you heart attacks? Come on, Hicchan."
Wait, isn't Shizune mute? How the hell does that work?
"'Eating coffee grinds out of the trash to avoid spending another lunch period all by yourself' low?
I thought Misha was the blowfish. Or was she a squirrel? I can't remember anymore.
Worked on Hanako, didn't it?
And by that, I mean he hasn't learned jack shit from all the times he's stared at Hanako.
Staring contests take on a whole new meaning when you're deaf. And your opponent isn't.
Guess who's the good cop?
I guess the flower girls aren't the only ones who like it strong.
"..............Oh, shit. Misha, don't sign that last part. I'm begging you."
You'd have to learn it in a week for anything that follows to make any real sense.
"Sadly, the sky no longer wishes to share its secrets with me. I guess it's a one-way street."
I think we all know what she means by that. *wink wink*
"She's shot at me on three separate occasions and treats her best friend like garbage."
She'd tell him to eat a dick if she could do it without spilling tea everywhere.
Yea, no way that thought's horrifying.
She's more into physical threats. And shooting. Always the shooting.
The strangest birds and the bees talk he's ever heard.
And then, the cold embrace of the eternal night slowly wraps its claws around Hisao. The dark secret
The wafting stench of cabbage.
SHE IS JUSTIFIED. NOW AND FOREVER.
Fuck Nomiya.......Wait, don't. I don't want him in the same sentence as sex.
This doesn't surprise me.
"MY PENIS IS PERFECTLY FINE!" "......................" ("Real smooth.")
Also, whatever the fuck this is.
"Of course, Misha gets knocked on her ass the same as last time. This time, though, I help her up."
You think he'd know better by now. Then again, this is, like, the ninth time I've said that.
She's still pissed about the Scottish family thing.
Remember: this is an alternate timeline, so Hanako's still boozing it up.
Misha speaking normally is reason to panic.
Which means that somebody's going to die.
From doing.......I'll get back to you on that.
Kanji, sign language. Same dif, right?
We've already established that this isn't the case. Don't make me summon my royal fury.
Yep, this still sucks major ass.
Oh, how joyous. Hanako's shaking in her boots, completely frightened of her classmates. Simply jolly
"You want to lay off, Shizune? I mean, Hanako's right there." [Why do you think I'm saying it?]
I expect shipping in the comments. *nudge nudge*
I have to imagine the work would go a lot faster if you bothered using nails.
Look at the tranquil fury lying so thinly beneath the surface. Drink that shit in.
Sonic joke or army joke? Sonic joke or army joke?
Not that....wait, he IS complaining.
Now why does this seem familiar?
Don't you tempt me.....that's right. I don't have a dumb nickname for Misha.
[Trust me, I know from experience.]
Something tells me she hasn't. Misha looks like more of a Hunger Artist type of girl.
"Oh, well. It can't be an-am I coughing up blood? And why does my blood feel like it's on fire?"
Ask how the bloody hell you translate JFK's accent into Japanese.
Misha's laughter is depressing.
"Well, I would be, but I don't think Lilly wants much to do with me. And Hanako's scared of m.....Oh
"Wait a minute, aren't we all Japanese?" "Don't draw attention to it."
No reason to make strange survival horror jokes.
Is Misha one of those girls? The kind who says everything as a question?
I shit you not: this is the very next screenshot. Shizune's nowhere to be seen.
"Oh, you are such a good friend, Shicchan! Whatever would I do without you?" "She can't hear you."
"You have an amazing sense of humor. Have I ever told you that, Shicchan? (I'll call you later.)"
"I want you to beat around my bush."
But it's too late for impromptu sex.
Well....yea. Why do you think Hisao's been spending so much time with her?
I'll have to get back to you on that one.
I mean, you exhausted yourself eating lunch that one time. Who knows what student council would do?
"I can't imagine that would place too much stress on my......fuck it. I'll go swimming or something.
Rin? It's gotta be Rin. I can't imagine anybody other than Rin.
What incredibly quick turn-around, Shizune.
What incredibly strange turn-around, Misha.
You have no idea how much equine feces the student council has to deal with.
But you did just signal to your nutsack.
The medication's right there. They're gonna find out, eventually.
"What's that, Shicchan? You found something?.....Oh, that IS embarrassing." "MY PENIS IS PER-"
"MATH AND HISTORY ALIKE SHALL BE SACRIFICED UPON THE PILLAR OF PROGRESS! ALL WHO OPPOSE WILL DIE!"
Apparently, Shizune and Misha aren't really people.
And nothing stands in the way of their conquest.
Actually, she seems to have settled on sarcastic disapproval.
"A girl's got to eat when she's working out math equations, right?"
How a person splits a pair of chopsticks is never once addressed.
You're the one who tried to split a pair of fucking chopsticks.
"I could never have imagined myself having fun with somebody like Shizune. Then I existed with her."
Shizune heard all that. Somehow.
Sign language: the most formal thing in the universe.
"I then notice that her clothes are wet, too, and she's noticeably shivering. I don't ask."
[How's that erectile dysfunction been treating you?]
They're a lot more accepting of it than any of the other girls.
But they are really confused about why you're suddenly gone racist.
Animated in the sense of lively, not in the sense that this is actually animated.
I feel like I should correct her on this, but I'm not smart enough to do so.
Half relaxing, half dreadful, half couple's counselling...
Gonna get A LOT of use out of this one.
What the hell's up with Misha's mouth? And her round face? It's like somebody bit into an apple.
The rules have changed. Only the most dedicated of tea fans are allowed into the Shanghai now.
What he doesn't know is how literal they are.
Misha, maybe. Shizune just noticed the smoke detectors.
"I decide not to point out that she is not wearing a hat."
"I'm wasted out of my goddamn mind!"
He says to Yuuko, just out of shot.
So not as good as that sandwich?
Knowing them, it absolutely is.
"I don't see any naked hotties."
"Lilly's spread eagle in the booth right next to us."
And shooting. Always the shooting.
But we're already doing Shizune's route, soooooo........
"There's no possible way that's what friendship is about."
OK, so maybe Shizune's a bit more vindictive than I gave her credit for earlier.
"It's gonna burn the hell out of my throat, but anything beats another shot of this crap."
Then our course is decided.
Because this isn't the first time the two of them have seen Lilly naked?
Oh, right. I forgot that this joke was canon.
[I don't think. I know.] "What was that?" [Damn it. Misha's washing dishes back there.]
Both of them are Haru-he's.
With Shizune, mind you, so it's noticeably more one-sided. And violent.
"I kind of want to ask her how she converts facial expressions into noise."
So that makes Misha the brawn?................He's the one who said it. Not me.
"Hicchan, why are you smelling my drills?" "BECAUSE THEY ARE A MYSTERY TO SCIENCE!"
"That's my thing, you feminist fucker!"
It couldn't be. If it was the caffeine, she'd be bouncing off the walls at the speed of insanity.
"There is, however, a very rusty tack. I think she picked it up off the side of the road."
Poor Hisao. Nobody can see your sadness......Why do I feel like that's this game's tagline?
"Everybody's got to kill eventually. Why not get it out of the way early?"
Butts come in the next part.
Must.....resist.....weight....joke.....NNNGGGGGGNNNNN
Must.....resist....Katamari.....Damacy.....joke.....
That's how killing works, Misha.
I guess we know where Shiori got that box. Even if that game takes place about twelve years before.
"But once you look past those burn wounds, you s....wait, I think I'm describing the wrong girl."
Who knew that somebody possessing a vagina could act so girlishly?
"Then she passed me a note saying, 'We're friends now'."
What mood defines the first time they met? Resignation.
You just happened to know sign language? How's that work? Do you come from a half-deaf family?
Anything to watch a woman sleep.
An awkward silence permeates the air. Misha looks all over the room, clearly uncomfortable.
Then what the fucking hell were you doing at the Shanghai? Besides that business with Lilly?
"I've got no idea what that is, but I'll eat it."
As opposed to the fake stars hanging in the sky?
"Looks like I know what I'm eating today."
He's rocking the fuck out. That probably means he wants to be left alone.
"From what I hear, they're usually tripping. No doubt trying to throw me off my game."
Thanks, O....that's right: Japan. Plus that meme's really, really dumb.
He couldn't get his sound set-up working, so he has to make due.
This is stranger than that medication line back at Lilly's summer house!
Then why were you considering it? This gets stranger still.
I can see it now. "I want to be with you, Shizune and/or Misha. Let this fish be a symbol of my love
"Why did I think improvising sign language was a good idea, again?"
No Photoshopping Kenji in this one. Shizune saw fit to that.
Their logic may or may not be humorous.
"It hurts, Hisao... ...I’m h...a...p...p...y... ...friends..." "......................."
No doubt the housing department's doing.
You never know who's listening in on these conversations.
The only sound to be heard for minutes is her eager breathing.
"That explains the horrible pain I've felt in my stomach all day."
Like, SO into fast food. You totes wouldn't believe, girl.
You know, like they're regular people and their disabilities don't change that fact. Ngh.
"Now I'm beginning to understand what it's like being Misha. Somehow, it feels worse than Hanako."
Mixing things up, I take it?
Or something you'd find in Katamari Damacy. Meanwhile, Misha's internalizing Shizune's abuse.
Not particularly well, mind you.
I guess we're forgetting that earlier part where she actually laughed.
"Napple Tale? Is this some Snow White thing? Nevermind. What other games are there?"
The fish can survive another day.
"Hey, you guys! There are small bumps on this table! Are you seeing this shit?"
Keep in mind he's running the "knock the bottles over" booth.
This is what I meant by equine feces.
Were you expecting baseballs? Because I can think of a million ways that could go horribly wrong.
Let the fact that this doll is only shaped like a cat tell you just how little craft went into it.
0_o....................Where'd I leave those fucking SpongeBob pics?
Less "girlish", more "Tim Burton"......"ish".
She ends up pointing to another booth and swiping it when Hisao's distracted.
"Y-AW! I didn't even say anything, and you jab me in the stomach!?"
Why's Hisao such a pun master as of late? Who the hell knows?
Thanks a lot, Shizune. Now Babyface is depressed.
"I had a happy life with Lilly, and that business guy swiped it all away. Just.......DAMN IT!"
I doubt the G-Man's THAT cruel.
She really likes Hisao, doesn't she? Or maybe he had a heart flutter at a convenient time.
Notice how he doesn't say anything about the joke being funny.
Second thread, and pretty much every girl's on the roof. That was quicker than I'd anticipated.
"Oh, and Shizune's here, too, I guess."
Do I really need to add anything?
Knowing Hisao, it would've been just as stupid if she could hear it.
Back the fuck up: MOST of the girls? Shizune and Misha are the only girls in the game sportin yukata
I hope that means the punch is rice-flavored, not that they're chugging down punch with rice grains.
"Hey, Shizune, you hearing this?" "Hicchan, there's no way she could hear any of it."
"I mean, yea, I nearly had a heart attack and got super bummed out about it....and Lilly..........."
A girl who can't hear Hisao when he's thinking out loud....has he met his dream girl?
Actually, I think she wants a hug.
"Something tells me she means business."
No, I really think she just wants a hug. You're not making it easier by moving to the other side.
Other than that time you saw them with Lilly, of course.
She tired of this joke LONG ago.
"I still feel bad about b-" [FUCK THAT MESS. WE'RE IN LOVE.]
Shizune does NOT fuck around.
"All the goldfish are dead."
That's how probability works. Have you been paying attention in math?
I guess that's a good thing? Sort of? It's at least one step in the right direction.
You weren't this worried a couple of updates ago.
Well, if you insist, Shizune....*goes off to write a billion more jokes and slow the pacing down*
Don't. Don't you set him down that track again.
Like I said: Shizune does NOT fuck around.
Anything to get her to hang out with you, I guess.
Twenty minutes!? For a paragraph's worth of conversation?
"How exactly does that work?" "I mea-" "WAIT, THAT'S NOT THE QUESTION I WANTED TO ASK!" "Too late~!"
"Gee, what gave it away? When I asked you if there are sign language classes here?" "May~be." *sigh*
This is the introductory sign language course. Think about what that means.
You have piqued my interest.
In that he actually has to take notes, now.
"Is that how you say 'chipmunk'?"
He means her voice is loud enough to make her students deaf. Misha's the sink-or-swim kinda teacher.
You are a loud person, Misha. Accept that.
"Plus I don't think that weird time travel guy would've let me near Lilly again."
"Have you asked Shizune to help you with that?" "........" "Should've known."
"What does that have to do with Japanese sign language?" ".......Oh, shit. There's more than one?"
What you can't see are Hisao's eyes widening with dread.
"How far Misha can ride a bike. When not to tell somebody they've let go. How to form an alibi."
Apparently, we end the day on that note.
And open it with....Chinese Whispers?
"That makes me so angry. I just....I just want to rock it out."
In retrospect, I really should've given him Jonny Yong Bosch's voice.
Guess it isn't just equine feces they deal with.
Why do I suddenly feel like I'm posting on Giant Bomb?
Still can't shake that feeling...
I take it he didn't see the "WARNING: Do not chew tablets" stickers on all his medication?
No Uncle Grandpa jokes this time. I've learned that lesson.
Ever since the Great JRPG Purging of 2008, menus have gone into hiding.
I don't think Yuuko's the kind of girl who can deal with this.
"GOD, CAN'T YOU PASS OUT WITH DIGNITY, YUUKO!?"
Almost like she doesn't really care about you.
Apparently, that last caption was romantic.
You say that like it's going to persuade her.
Did I mention that this package is for Kenji? Shizune's just ruined his entire day.
Well, that was fast. Onto the next screenshot thread!
You haven't asked her out, yet. That leaves one option.
Not as badly (or as GIFably) as Hanako was a while back, though.
Does that count? I think it counts.
No. Understanding really isn't that easy. But I'm more interested in the reading part.
Doing a good job keeping it secret from her.
I have to imagine there are many other solutions to this problem.
[Hisao, are you feeling OK? You're shivering and your eyes look bloodshot.] "Hicch-" "I'm fine."
Forever and ever and ever.
[Those tears are gonna bite him in the ass when I find that Risk board.]
I guess references to their nationality are game, now.
You know what you must Photoshop.
"I'm having trouble making that first word out. I think it was Tezuka? Yea, I'd bite her."
Yea, that makes more sense than the joke I made.
Why does Misha have such strange body language? You'd think she'd be more mindful of these things.
Well, this one time, Misha DID end up socking Shizune, but.....well, it wasn't pretty. For Misha.
The perfect time for some Cards Against Humanity.
"I didn't even know nipple clamps came in multiple sizes."
......You have piqued my interest.
Uh oh. There's no way THIS can end well.
".............." "You wanted something?" "..................S.......So......."
Holy shit. I can't believe I was right.
Yea, THAT'S gonna pierce her shell.
Oh. This could actually work out well. Hanako's pretty good at chess, and Shizune likes a good game.
Don't you fucking undercut me.
When did her chin become so masculine?
OK, so maybe things aren't going so well, but Shizune doesn't mind. Maybe she'll give Hanako room.
"Oh, shit. Is that her? I'd better hide this in Lilly's bag. Confuse the hell out of her."
One that won't survive this update.
"And Hanako still hasn't made her first move."
And this is where the budding friendship takes a complete nosedive. Personally, I blame Misha.
That explains why Hanako's covering her eye.
"Hanako's uncomfortable? How humorous. This amuses me to no end."
She absolutely destroys Hanako, and any hopes of Hanako developing social confidence in this route.
She can't handle the bishie.
I believe he said as much at the top of the scene.
"Oh, yea, you DID say that."
No, she's good at chess. You just paid no attention to how goddamn nervous she was.
Not at all. (I speak for both of us. Probably.)
"I don't know. Hanako's oddly enthusiastic when it comes to drinking games." [How would YOU know?]
Words like "Are you OK?" or "You look uncomfortable" or "We could stop if you aren't feeling well."
It really only worked on Misha.
Apparently, there ARE games I haven't heard of.
It seems we finally have an answer after, like, a week of mystery.
[Greatest generation my ass.]
Shizune does NOT fuck around.
Shizune's a lot like Germany: ambitious and misunderstood.
You mean we're playing Fire Emblem? Fucking sweet! You're my kind of girl, Shizune.
Fire Emblem is serious business. Never doubt that.
"What about paper, Hicchan?" ".......I hadn't thought of that."
Apparently, she can sign silence.
SO MANY FACES THAT I HAVE FORGOTTEN!
How long has Kenji been waiting on that thing?
"GET THEE GONE, DARKNESS!"
An uncomfortable sensation tingles down Hanako's spine.
Didn't stop you in Lilly's route. Dick.
"YOU TOLD HER!? YOU FUCKING TOLD HER ABOUT MY SIGN LANGUAGE CLASSES!?" "Hi....cha....my...thr.....o.
If that's the case, where the hell was this in the Tokimeki thread?
Kind of like this: SPONGEBOB GIF BELOW.
No, she notices. You still look really weird doing it.
[Any other secrets you've been hiding from me?]
Uh oh. This can't end well for....well, anyone, really.
Why do I feel like this could apply to so very much?
[It's only a good way to start coughing up blood.]
"That explains why I've felt so sticky for the past five minutes."
That bread you're fighting over is gonna be sucked into an alternate dimension, isn't it?
And she belches so loudly that it scares birds out of their nests.
How do we greet this package after so very long? Oddly blunt language.
Of course, we can only have two male students in the game, so he quickly retreats.
It didn't last long. In retrospect, it probably wasn't a good idea to use the Star of David.
So THAT explains why he hates Shizune so much: gang warfare!
"I remember seeing it this one time I actually went to class. I think it was called Highlander?"
http://youtu.be/NzU-Xx6fG7g
And the animal comparisons are back! In the most worrying way imaginable!
"She's really into her role. Strange, since I haven't told her what I was doing."
[THE STUDENT COUNCIL CHARTER HOLDS ALL THE WORLD'S TRUTHS. ALL MUST BEND TO ITS IRON WILL.]
You DO remember when I Photoshopped a mustache and top hat on her, right? I can do it again.
She needs a new target, now that Misha isn't around.
Did you just call Shizune fat?
Lilly can't see you balled up in your arms, and Shizune can't hear you sobbing. Yays around.
"I knew that bacon-scented deodorant was a good idea."
"Yes. You can stop whacking your cane against her shins."
How do you translate a jerking off motion into speech?
"Here? Is she here? Could you-" "Yes, she's there. Stop doing that."
As she's made abundantly clear.
You don't have to save face, Shizune. You can just lie to her.
Imagine what Shizune must be feeling.
[I bet you still have plenty of brownies, though, if you catch my drift. Hisao. Take her brownies.]
I guess she's referring to the brownie?
Why does Shizune's route have so many typos?
Speaking is easy; scheduling something past the second conversation is hard.
Available for all of one frame. Enjoy.
[Of course, if you had been here last year, you'd probably be missing a couple of testicles.]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTJO957WvoE Yes, she's somehow able to sign THIS.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh. Wrong man, right place, you don't have to tell ME twice."
Damn it. Now I wish Kenji was in charge of Game of Thrones. Can you imagine how crazy that'd be?
Indeed there is SEE STUPID PHOTOSHOP IN THE THREAD.
Ayako? The hell are you doing here? Didn't you die in the Great Flood?
A man has to protect his investments.
Kenji Setou: he's the hero we need, but not the hero we deserve.
Giant Bomb: The Video Game Character.
"Gotta show those bitches what they'll never enjoy." "But can't they get at the olives now?" "WHAT!?
Man, even in this route, Mutou doesn't get it easy. Will he ever?
Damn it, Kenji. Stop giving me so many Photoshop ideas. I AM BUT ONE MAN. RIGHT NOW.
This would probably be more heartwarming if I wasn't thinking of Slurms McKenzie.
"Yea, but it's been so long. You think the girls would go for a guy who plans on toppling feminism?"
I REALLY feel like he should be voiced by Jonny Yong Bosch.....Screw it. He's voiced by the Bosch.
"Yep, still blind." ("Man, it's even more depressing when HE says it.")
...............You got a strange sense of humor, Kenji.
"Makes 'em look ridiculous."
And just like that, we're literally record scratched out of that slightly touching moment.
Oh, man. Somebody get Rin and Kenji in a room together. I think we all want to see that.
Where do I begin? WHERE DO I FUCKING BEGIN!?
Of course he does. He's not crazy.
"Now who's gonna clean up this damn mess?"
"I could flee to China, and I'd still hear Misha's cackling voice."
"But, I AM already looking at them from behind a book, sooooo....."
Their dynamic in a nutshell.
"If only th-" "Hicchan, if you make that stupid joke one more time, I'm gonna kill you."
She may be OK with his erectile dysfunction, but she is not at all above making fun of his heart.
It's a lot more sarcastic than he describes it.
She's used to it. Misha's a very....eager shipper.
("Oh, god. Am I turning into THAT?")
You say that like Misha will learn.
"Wait a minute....yes, I HAVE been punched. Next time, I'm sitting closer to Misha."
Shizune is better than Misha. THIS IS CANON.
"You mean you went to one of the festivals naked?" [Yep. Just felt like it.]
Eeeehhhhhhh.....I just can't see that happening.
And Hisao agrees with me.......Wait, what?
"To what? You don't exactly have a lot to work with." [Skinhead.]
Where do I begin? Hisao being a dick, or what the hell a swizzle stick is.
That explains why Shizune loves this place so much. Now if only I could figure out Lilly.
"I know. I've seen the pictures." "Wait, what?"
You'd be surprised. Ever look under Misha's bed? Goat heads EVERYWHERE.
It's almost like you misread them entirely.
[Seriously, though, I want to hear more about this time travel business. Tell me about it sometime.]
"Everybody's looking at Shizune. I wonder if they're attracted to Misha."
And things go horribly, horribly wrong in 3, 2....
"That all changed when my heart crapped out on me halfway to town."
"All I can hear is a faint melody. http://youtu.be/ECp6ZgY3OSM Something tells me not to go further.
He goes through with it, anyway, knowing the risk.
"I do now." "Damn. I guess I got used to being around Shizune too much."
How can you be so surprised? You've spent so much time together. You should know how illogical he is
That pause means he's tearing up.
OK, is MISHA rubbing off on him, now? Is he becoming some weird fusion of me and Misha?
WE CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR LIES.
A heart attack around every corner!
"Yea, I know. Before, I'd have to search real hard for used panties if I w-" "What?" "....Nothing."
Two mutually exclusive things, yes.
You're gonna go so far after high school.
"......You're still miffed about the used panties thing, aren't you?" "What do YOU think?"
Hey, there, Shizune. You're looking pretty good.
Hey, there, Misha. Where'd that third drill come from?
That's it. I want to see Misha in the next Sengoku Basara game. And now you do, too.
WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH MISHA!?
This is how it starts, Hisao. You're on a slippery slope to trash lunch. Don't end up there.
"Now feels like an even less appropriate time to tell her."
It is when you forget your medication dosages.
[You just signed all that. To me.] "Is......was that bad?" [Yes. Incredibly.]
Apparently, boring is mature.
But it's not like she hasn't tried. She did wish that Hideaki was a real boy, and, well....
[Damn squid went through my faster than I thought it would.]
"I mean, you can't be the only person to shit through your yukata. People forget fast."
Well, except she was wearing a completely different outfit. Other than that, perfect match.
Good thing you remembered to take your medicine this time, then.
[Gives it a great tactical advantage.]
[If a whale bit me, I'd probably be dead. But yea, I'd still bite it back.]
"As little as all the gashes I've seen on Misha's thighs?" [Point taken.]
[Like that time I taught Misha how to ride a bike. You should've seen those tears of joy.]
So just another day in the life of Babyface Nakai?
[It actually went through my yukata?]
This is bound to go horribly wrong.
You know what Hisao went through at the beginning? Well, Shizune's going through that, but with poo.
Women are cute when they're vulnerable. And nervous. And frightened.
Remember this. It's gonna be important. Probably.
Alternate subtitle: Misha's Glorious Revenge.
[You DO remember that you asked me out just a small while ago, right?]
"I don't see any sort of connection between those two statements." [So you WILL grease the skillet!]
And she won't take no for an answer. Hell, she won't even give you room to answer.
[Uh....Hisao? Any reason why your eyes suddenly widened?] "No....no reason...it's just...."
"The way she would.......oh god....."
[No, seriously. I want to know about this time travel thing. It's clearly wrecking you up inside.]
[......On second thought, maybe you SHOULD come with me. Best way to clear your mind.]
I'm fairly certain she has much larger family problems than that. I know what I said.
("Not really. I only told her that so she wouldn't cry.")
And this is his completely real response.
Out of one emotional minefield and into another. You REALLY don't fuck around, do you?
Yep, that completely ordinary summer dress is very mature. Truly, it's the epitome of adulthood.
If this game takes place in 2012, then Misha hasn't changed size in eight years.
"So, who did you have to kill to get a suitcase like that?" "..." "Oh, no. Don't tell me you reall-"
[I don't think James Bond ever tried to outlaw abortion.]
[That's politics, bitch!]
She's laughed, like, nine times already. I think we've figured out how she laughs.
There's no possible way this could end well.
"Maybe I should follow them inside. Hard to tell."
"Oh, wait, it's just Hideaki. Is there a timeline where he actually looks like a boy?"
Misha's rubbing off on the poor kid. Will her tyranny know no bounds?
"How?" "Well, you both treat Misha like garbage, for one." "Point taken."
He's already working on the breasts. Just be glad this is a first person view.
[God, how I love messing with her.] "Wait, did you just sign that to me?" [Uh......no?]
"I'm still not OK with Akira hitting on Lilly, though. That much will never change."
What you don't get from this screenshot is Hisao struggling through this whole line. It's tragic.
"Cumming is something that happens after you have sex wi-" "I'M NOT HEARING THIS!"
"This girl really knows how to use her hands."
Not that good. She still has to run away in tears whenever Hanako offers to cook.
"It usually ends with Lilly half naked. It's almost always the front half."
The family's all here. This can only end well.
"*taps Shizune on the back*" [Oh. Gross.]
[Man, Lilly SUCKS at sign language. How did she even learn? Did she just flail around?]
Hideaki just realized he's traveling in the trunk.
"Actually, I think I'd like to sit in the trunk."
That reminds me: shouldn't they be gone at this point? Hisao never made it to Tanabata last time.
"Lilly decided to get some local wine for Hanako, and then Shizune found out. It's not going well."
Team Massively Uncomfortable?
By quick, he means thirty minutes. Video games.
"Yes, Shizune, I can see that. I'm not the one with the vision problems."
"Tell her to stop undressing me with her eyes." "Only when you stop doing the same to your sister."
"All those times I talked to Akira makes me think she's easy to talk to."
Lilly, meanwhile, wonders what the hell she's doing in this scene.
You're not ready for that, Akira. You've gotta grind some more, maybe max out a skill tree or two.
She thinks you're making a dick joke.
[Tell Lilly I give her an F.] "For what?" [Does it matter?]
In other words, tell them to stop being themselves. Not that I disagree with that logic.
Don't egg him on, Akira. Hisao's going through some rough shit.
Wise choice, given how you're quite literally standing between them.
It can't be that bad; you got over it over the course of an entire sentence.
[I recommend grenades. My dad keeps them around for just such an occasion.]
"Tell that to Shizune. Tell it to her, Hisao."
Only now do I realize how utterly confused Hisao's been this whole time.
("Damn it! I thought I'd gotten over this. Why can't I move on!?")
Uh.....who are those people in the picture? I know for a fact that they aren't Shizune's parents.
They have too much in common. They're both major assholes, for one, and....no, that's pretty much it
Actually, Misha IS asleep. She had a little more of that wine Lilly bought (and I do mean a little).
"They love hearing about her plans to cut taxes on higher earners."
DON'T. EVER. DO. THAT. EVER.
He's related to Shizune. Why do YOU think he wants money and connections?
Just know that it involves a lot of chloroform and baby powder.
Puns? Glasses? Annoying as all hell? Oh sweet shit, he's gonna grow up to be Ikutsuki, isn't he?
I'm not so sure about that. You see how many screenshots I've got on you so far?
"Why's that? She's deaf." "Would YOU want to hang out with two bubbly, loud schoolmates?"
An awkward introduction to puberty.
Buildings. Take him to watch buildings. It'll be a blast.
So this has become a reverse Tokimeki Memorial? I'll take it?
Plus if you DID go through with this, Shizune would be really hurt and REALLY confused.
".................................Could you stop poking me?"
"Why do you think Shizune's deaf/mute?" ".......................*slowly backs away from it all*"
"Nothing ter-wait, did Hideaki's eyebrows become thicker in the last three seconds?"
The family ties are strong with this one.
I feel like half my jokes are ending up as, "Man, I wish I could Photoshop THAT."
Should I dust off the Akira jokes?
"In a game, right?" "Yea. What did you THINK I meant?" "...Nothing. Let's do this."
Like science could figure Hideaki out.
Hideaki out of apathy; Shizune's dad out of supreme assholeishness.
Kite is not a letter in ANY alphabet.
"THEN WH..."....No. I'm not making a pedophilia joke. Gotta draw the line SOMEWHERE.
This goes for you guys, as well.
"God, I fucking hate you."
[God, I fucking hate you.]
"God, I fucking hate you." "............" [.............] ".........This is gonna be one long week."
"Misha tried to find an Occupy movement so she could tell them to eat a cock."
Finally, we meet Shizune's dad. Without spoiling anything, he's a shittier dad than Jecht.
Surprising that you define him by his size, and not his hair or his sword or his tight shirt.
The quotes are on the card, too. Let that sink in.
"Eating this could kill me. But I've got nothing to lose, right?"
And sometimes, it's very weird and uncomfortable.
One word. You were one word off.
"Oh, well. I didn't need all that extra blood, anyway. And I really DID need to replace that kidney.
That's his entire bit: he'll insult people on the flimsiest pretext. And we've got a few more days.
Remember, kids: the next time you use the word "pork", make sure you're actually referring to pork.
OK, I'll give him that. Hisao's sweater vest IS terrible.
[Not just bears.] "What?"
"Why didn't I think to just bolt through the door?"
"I can't tell you how many internal organs I'm missing because of him."
Which one: the voodoo joke or the Berceuse joke?
It's their way of telling you that you talk too much.
HAHAHAHAHA. Shizune's on edge. Isn't that hilarious?
And that's how he ended the day: by laughing at his girlfriend. At least he didn't call her an idiot
Maybe she's speaking a dialect you don't know about. Perhaps one of the Brooklyn variety?
"I can't quite say why, though."
Your revenge plan is to look like an idiot. Just throwing that out there.
"I masturbate and I'm not ashamed.....Wait, this kid's 12. Just ignore that last part."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-53poiy2gE
He's spent his entire life with his dad. Make the connections.
"Because I value my ear drums. And my nostrils."
"Oh, god. He's fucking up his sign language THAT fast? This is going to be harder than I thought."
You know, one of those famous lake-jumping movies. They're all the rage.
"I'm not quite sure how Shizune fits into all this. I'll figure it out eventually."
Speaking of bad, guess which ending he's gonna get first?
Funny. You said the exact opposite at the beginning of this thread. WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING, BABYFACE?
I'm not sure he's actually seen it, but it looks like Giygas took some influences from Picasso.
"Why didn't I think of that?"
He turns his head around, his gaze lingering on the fountain just behind him.
"I will end what she could never start." "Hideaki?.....What are you talking about?"
"I'll start by making you disappear."
"....Maybe I should start small. Oh, Shizune taught me this one: want to see this pencil disappear?"
Speaking from experience, here: he's going to fucking HATE you for that.
My money's on jackass. At best, pimp.
It's gonna take a lot more than your mediocre memoirs to get this kid to stop sucking.
Actually, she's got....other feelings on the matter.
"What b.....WHY DOES MY SKIN FEEL LIKE IT'S ON FIRE!?" "I took the liberty of washing your clothes."
"I saw those pills in the guest bedroom. Mind explaining those?"
"Hideaki. You know what to do."
("See what I mean, Hisao?") "What did I say about being heard, you little brat?"
Like Magnum PI, only a werewolf and also a samurai.
What time is it? Time to kick the shit out of somebody. (That's the only time on his watch.)
"You talk to your SON like that? What the fucking fuck is wrong with you!?"
Look! Misha's hair got singed into an even cuter do!
"Interns have specific hair styles? Since when?" "Since I started cutting their hair myself."
"Shizune says you shouldn't insult h-" "*draws sword*" ".....That you've run out of Sprite."
[What's a sword through the gut, honestly? My dad has to learn sometime.]
For what it's worth, I think it looks alright. Certainly better than the drills you were sporting.
...On second though, undercut me all you like. I don't like that I agree with Jigoro on anything.
That's right. We've put the two loudest characters in the game in close proximity to each other.
"You cannot escape our embrace, Young Nakai. The darkness will find you, no matter where you go."
It's perfect because Misha's providing cover fire.
[Honestly though, you have played the game for a long time.]
[There. Am I like Lilly now? Am I like your precious little flower?]
[What gave it away? When I told you you were wasting your time, or when I reminded you Lilly?]
[How are you not getting this?]
"You pulled me away from your dad so you could bitch about Misha's new haircut?"
She's got experience with this kind of thing.
She'd ask how the hell they ended up like this if not for Hisao pinning her down.
Imagine how uncomfortable SHE is. You just compared her to a cat.
"What about when you and Misha broke into my room a few months back? And isn't this YOUR house?"
He's saying he can't deny it.
[Still, hasn't stopped me before.]
He opens his eyes. He's kissing a sponge.
Not that she has to act on it, mind you.
"Uh, Shizune? Can we change positions? This is feeling a little too.....rape-y for my tastes."
[Wait here. Just hope my dad doesn't see this.]
You mean you can feel this in your ass?
I don't think it's locked. Hell, I don't think you guys even bothered closing the door.
Normally, I'd ask what Hanako's doing at a time like this...
But since she's many miles away (and Shizune isn't that loud), I don't think that's an issue.
"I mean, yea, there was Lilly, but that was completely different. There were other pe-oh, hell."
From squirrel to worm. Is that an improvement?
"So you knew that your job would be obsolete the moment you chose it?" "Exactly.......Wait...."
"How can she have that much energy after last night?" "Huh? Something happened last night?" "Oh no."
"If you're gonna treat anybody like a six year old, get one for Hideaki."
"Me or Misha?" [What?] "Oh, right. That's just how you greet people. Forgot for a sec."
That was what, a couple of months ago? Prepare to be swimming in late fees.
[Don't tell him you had sex with his daughter. Don't tell him you had sex with his daughter. Don-]
That's not the only thing she inherited from her family. Unfortunately.
You know, under any other circumstance, I'd write this off as playful laughter. Not here.
I don't see how Lilly and Hanako factor into this. Then again, would I really want to?
"Voting for my daughter! Ahahahaha! What a stupid mistake!"
Just in case you've thought me too harsh on Hisao: HE JUST COMPARED HIMSELF TO JIGORO.
Because deaf people can't be normal on their own. They need to be taught how to be normal.
With somebody like Jigoro, I feel like death is the least of your concerns.
"Hey, Shizune, mind if I ask you something?" [What is it?] "Where was your mom on that trip?"
"Still, I feel like that trip could've gone better. It could've used more sex and less angry dads."
What better way to start the day than with sudden onset depression?
Normally, I'd Photoshop her into this pic, but, well, I don't have anything to work with.
"It's astounding how this letter is exactly the same as it was last time. Simply astounding."
"You know, if not for.....anyway..." ("Always did miss her weird stuttery writing.")
"He said he'd fail you if you keep skipping class."
"That bitch." - Hisao in the Lilly thread.
("It hasn't flown that fast for ME. Not that she'd know, but still...")
"Wow, I'm humbled." - Hisao in the Shizune thread.
"Wow, you REALLY could've worded that better." - Hisao in the Shizune thread.
He sure does respond better now that he takes the time to actually read the letter.
"I REALLY wish I'd read this letter back when I was with Lilly. Would've changed a lot."
Time travel makes a man more understanding. Who knew?
"Kind of embarrassing the second time it happens."
"Don't trust no gates. No good has ever come of the gates."
OH MY GOD. SOMEBODY MAKE A GENDER FLIPPED KATAWA SHOUJO.
Well, Shizune's halfway there, I guess.
"Then I just chuck it into your room and hope for the best. You don't even lock your door."
Hell if I know. I've never seen her.
"(Oh, what the hell. He's gonna find out eventually.) I've got erectile dysfunction."
("Oh, shit. Am I gonna become THAT?")
Hopefully, the eating of dicks will not occur today.
"Right after the whole Mermormon part." "You mean Mergorgon?"
I don't know why, but I feel this is going to be useful at some point. Trust me on this.
He already tried that one Lilly, remember? It didn't work well.
"I tried speaking to her in person, but she'd always bury her head in some book or whatever."
You're probably overthinking it.
"That long hair, those flowy pajamas, those extensive burn wounds...."
"What? She's YOUR former girlfriend, man."
I have to imagine Kenji's ideal woman is some sort of 1950s housewife. Eugh.
"Uh, Kenji? Have you been spending time with this large, pink-haired girl lately?" "Yep. Why?"
"There's absolutely no way Yamaku is hiding weapons of mass destruction."
"And then close my jaws on her carotid artery and drag her into the nearest tree."
BOOM! Sleeping Misha. Twice. But I still don't have sleeping Shizune.
[Fuck 'em! Let mice use them as toilet paper.]
Eh, not really. Our outlook is a lot more....morose than you'd think.
[First hard-on of my life...Wait, not like that. You know what I meant.] "Do I?" "What?"
"Misha, does Shizune know what term limits are?"
[Can't I be sincere once in my life?]
Blackmail. That's the reason. There can be no other reason.
YOU BET YOUR ASS IT'S CREEPY. CAN YOU IMAGINE A SERIAL KILLER WHO SOUNDS LIKE MISHA!?
"Oh, shit. Did I say all that out loud?" [What do YOU think?]
[Man, I wish I had better friends than you. I don't think Hanako would be this crazy.]
"I bring the pajamas, you bring the booze." "What are you talking about? Silly Hicchan."
"Damn it. I'm short a couple yen. Fortunately, Shizune taught me something for just such a situation
She also taught Misha how to counter it.
"Plus, there aren't any other restaurants around here. Don't you think that's strange, Hicchan?"
"You know, it's just us. You can eat your food separately, now."
"I'm kind of an asshole. Then again, that IS a pricey hobby."
"Docattonguesfeelbetterthandogtonguestoyou, Hicchan?"
A random answer for a random question. Nicely done.
"Misha, we're both having lunch far away from Shizune. What do YOU think?"
"I still think she could've figured it out on her own."
Just like every other girl in this game.
"OH GOD, THAT BURNS!" ("I decide not to point out that Hanako is only a couple of booths away.")
Time flies when you're having fun. Or hanging out with Misha.
".....................Actually, I don't know. Why are sleeping girls funny?"
"It's like these mysterious hands are choking the life force out of me."
"Because that would explain the mysterious white eggs you leave in all the toilets."
I'm kind of hoping for the drills. Imagine how enormous her head would look. Like Drilly Quizboy.
A classroom with a permanently awkward atmosphere? Sounds oddly fitting, now that I think about it.
"An odd thing to say, since my last school was in the city instead of the countryside."
"I wonder how y-hold on. I'm getting a text right now."
She didn't give him any room to respond. Shizune, you crafty bitch.
Wait, there's another side to the paper. Maybe she's not as crafty as I thought one screenshot ago.
"Of course! Why didn't I think of that sooner? Now what's the answer to #4?"
He's talking about Misha, but I guess the same could be said of Shizune.
"Touch it." [What? Why?] ("That probably didn't sound as erotic in sign language, I take it.")
At least one of these is right.
[Hey, do you know the resale value on these things?] "Ten bucks, at best?" [......Damn it.]
He looks like a Final Fantasy character. That probably explains why she was attracted to him.
I think it's time to walk away from this soundless room, if you catch my drift.
"I mean, she didn't seem to care this much when she whacked my head against a desk that one time."
The only way that's going to work is if you know for certain that she's thinking about it.
Oh. You took the sensible (if poorly worded) route. Good on you.
Must......open.....Photoshop......
Not until the next thread.
Back to when Lilly got naked at the Shanghai, and Misha had to empty her wallet.
[You don't get bunny assassins with Astra in chess, do you?]
That really came out of nowhere.
Man, what a hilarious misund-
Or something significantly more severe. Are the depressing moments finally creeping in?
"Through me? Because I'm OK with that. Just so you know."
OK, we're definitely in depressing territory. You've been warned, folks.
So like talking in an Internet chat room, except....no, these situations are pretty much the same.
There's no denying it, Shizune. You're gonna have to own up to that finger tenting eventually.
[What do you mean I don't look angry? What would you call this?]
[You think I want my dad to understand all the nasty things I have to say about him? Pass.]
[I've thought about nerve gas through the vents, but that would risk my life, too.]
I guess we know where Persona 5 is ending up.
You'd better hope Shizune doesn't respond with the obvious.
[Oh, shit. Can he smell it?]
I write thousand word diatribes on a weekly basis. I think that's enough opinion out of me.
It's like the game is talking to me.
"You know who Shizune reminds me of? This noisy girl who gave me a heart attack."
Anything to take your mind off Iwanako, kiddo.
"Man, it feels good to stretch after such a long break."
Yep, I still love when my jokes are canon.
"Wait, what? That last part confused the hell out of me."
Is she saying that Hisao has a learning disability?
I don't know. She seemed pretty on-edge when Lilly had that demonic spat.
Great job finding Hanako.
"In fact, I think I see her right now. Over there, by the librarian's desk."
"Prepare for unforeseen consequences."
I want to tell him that cigarettes have actually been a sign of female power throughout history.
"Must stem from their fear of ducks."
Largely because he was talking about how he found those WMDs.
All the time? That's impossible.....which is exactly what he planned.
And by future, he means four years ago.
Just write an essay about the damn book. Your teacher will probably take it, anyway.
Let me give you a head start: Oedipus complex. I feel like you're gonna need this one.
Are you guys.......actually, don't answer that. I think I'm better off not knowing.
("Wish I had that super-power. Probably would've saved me a lot of trouble.")
I guess Hisao's failing Literary Studies, too.
"Ahahahahaahaha, you kids are hilarious. (I really hope there's not a lot to clean up. This time.)"
("Is that his disability?")
She's afraid it's going to burn through her hands.
"Look at what you did, Misha. You made Yuuko cry with your terrible ideas!"
He means that they're all five years old.
"But I DO already have this marker in my hand..."
[I'm not looking at another dick for a LONG time.]
The Internet, ladies and gents.
[Plus I've never really been a fan of the beach. It's just not that fun without Lilly around.]
Two Katawa Shoujo threads, and just as many girls asking Hisao what his dreams are like.
Good news: she was into Pokemon as a kid. Bad news: that doesn't change the situation.
[How appropriate. You sound like a cow.]
Um.....did I accidentally create some weird fetish for Hisao?
Well, you're partway there. I'll give you that.
And tries to turn it around on us.
"Like, if we're on a deserted island and we need to build shelter fast, we'd probably n...."
This is, like, the twelfth time you've done this, Shizune. I think he's fine with it.
So he just says it aloud, instead. Pisses off Shizune, but he doesn't really care at this point.
Something tells me that won't work.
"I control time and speech. NONE SHALL STAND IN MY WAY!"
[I can see the dick through the reflection in my glasses.]
And not even in the Venture Bros. way.
This can't possibly end well.
Hopefully, we don't find out why. Hopefully.
"Do you think I should dye my hair, Hicchan? I want to surprise Shicchan with it."
"Gee, it's almost like she's DEAF OR SOMETHING." "I know, right?" "*sigh*"
Shizune doesn't think so, and Misha can't take it anymore.
"Shicchan doesn't fuck around when it comes to milk. She says calcium is the most important."
Half sarcastic, half seductive, half probing.
Normally, I'd make a sex joke here, but.....uh.....you....you realize WHY I've been so dodgy here?
"You know what a girl likes." "I've been told that." "What?"
You should. You really, REALLY should.
Says the man who thinks kissing hair is perfectly fine.
On the one hand, I agree with you on this one. On the other hand, "deal with"?
Uh.................Hey, how many pictures has it been so far? Fifteen? Oh, where does the time go?
I'd put in the lightbulb, but.....uh.....
Look at that: he's making the right decision.
Or not. I've got to maintain tighter control over my protagonists.
Not to music this horribly depressing, at least.
".........I hope I didn't say that last part out loud."
[Do you have any idea where Misha was last night?]
[Because that's what you are. Sex isn't a viable cure for depression.]
I feel like that's how you ended up in this predicament.
Yep, we're en route to the bad ending. Doesn't feel good, does it?
"Curiously, her artsy friend isn't with her this time."
That's probably because it's Misha.
Uh.............ouch? I'm out of my league on this one.
So she was interested in sign language BEFORE meeting Shizune? I demand another spin-off.
It probably doesn't help that I was making jokes about her being abusive as shit, does it?
When Shizune didn't need glasses to see how ridiculous Misha's hair looked.
That doesn't explain the drills.
................................................
.....................................
.......................What do I even fucking say, here? This is just horrible. Nothing else to it.
That's......horrifying.............It probably doesn't come across in text, but my voice is trailing
http://youtu.be/e7PhTkGOxMk?t=26s
"How....how could you say such a horrible thing to me?" ".....I thought it might help?"
"Hicchan.....that doesn't make any sense........You're not very good at this, are you?"
Meeting's a weak word. I prefer "intervention".
I'm with Misha on this one. Total. Fucking. Whiplash.
This.....seems like a REALLY bad idea.
I want to make a joke here, but Misha.....just.......oh......
You DO see her face, right? There's no possible way that's good.
This is your light bulb moment, Hisao. Don't waste it.
Or you can bang Yuuko in the empty library. I'll leave you to your mistakes.
"(I'd better ask her, anyway.) Are you sure you want to do this?"
"......On second thought, let's not. I feel like this would do more harm than good."
This is how people form regrets.
"I'm not even that good at circular breathing!"
I think demons and gangs change the game a bit.
"Hanako's alcoholism, Misha's loudness, Shizune's reprehensible nature, Rin's dick jokes, Emi's...."
Real helpful advice. Mind being more specific than that?
Smoooooooooooooooooooooooooooth.
Still smoooooooooooooooooooooooooooth.
Flip it on her. Tell her every last thing.
[Man, that makes me proud.]
She's talking about Lilly, which I guess means she's like an upside-down Shizune. Scary.
[...have a special petting zoo event for a couple of days. Had no idea the bulls'd be so violent.]
"Man, deep emotional problems between good friends turn me on."
I think the strangling is how she got into this situation.
"I know you're hiding a gun back there. I've been with you too long to be fooled by that again."
[I went grocery shopping, Misha. Hope that makes you feel better about toying with your emotions.]
[Hopefully, I'm far away enough from the blast radius that I get to see it all go up in flames.]
Consider that a roundabout form of intimidation.
Something tells me this is going to fail horribly.
Moment to moment, whipping all your foes into submission.
Yea, it is. What high school student goes to bed that early?
Like you have so many times in this route.
The latest indie darling.
Glad to see that Hisao is just as naive as Shizune. They're a perfect match.
It never is. It always is.
[Use what?] "Uh.......nothing...*puts condom back in wallet*...Let's date it up."
I was thinking of opening this thread with World is Mine. Just throwing that out there, Shizune.
[That bitch. How can she be sad with this much food?]
[Did you just say that out loud?] "You just called your best friend a bitch."
"I still don't understand why you thought that poster would help her in any way."
Wait, this was supposed to be a funny moment? AND I'VE BEEN TIPTOEING AROUND IT FOR SO LONG!?
[Made Misha burst into tears. Got no idea why.]
[She was too busy burying her face in her arms to use them to sign to me.]
Replace "sour" with "cynical", and you've pretty much got my approach to all this.
Hopefully, we actually get to see this at some point.
Perfectly plausible explanation for Shizune's competitive nature.
It's too late. Kenji already knows. He knows all.
Don't. You. Fucking. Do it.
I guess Misha counts as multiple people?
"I'd be a lot happier if I could see Hideaki uncomfortable more often."
"Then he pulled this guitar out of the bushes and started strumming it like crazy. It was confusing.
Oh. So it WAS Kenji. I guess that means he was rocking out, too.
("I guess that means he isn't going to miss any of it.")
"It also deflates really easily. Makes it eas-" "What are you talking about?"
".........On second thought, I think he's just dead."
Or maybe he's just playing dead, for obvious reasons. Glad to see Jigoro's still a complete douche.
"Fuck talking to my daughter. If she needs anything, she can call Hideaki. Whom I won't talk to."
[He killed my mom.] "Wait, WHAT!?" [Did I mention that?]
"She's never once considered that her opponents might want to negotiate or use diplomacy."
Again, you REALLY know how to work my emotions over, Katawa Shoujo. Just thought I'd let you know.
It's either going to be the best or worst thing that could possibly happen. I'm hoping for the first
Really? Because that face doesn't say "my mom is dead". It says "I've just figured this out."
"I really need the money, and I can't go to Lilly anymore. That well's been tapped dry."
"The pen is mightier than the sword, Hicchan. Hahahahaha~?" ("She is so screwed.")
"Have you been making fat jokes behind my back?" ".....Yes and no."
Good idea, terrible wording.
[I keep snapping in front of her face, but she doesn't look any happier.]
[Wait, you're suggesting that we help her get over this with a cellphone?] "Uh, sure, why not?"
"Did I really just say that to myself?"
The Hunt For Red Mikado. Coming soon to a theater near you. Maybe.
"Not the extremes I'd hoped for, though." "..........Uh....(Well, that backfired completely.)"
"Completely different. If it was a fight, I'd have used sign language, instead."
Makes all the sad moments infinitely confusing as she whispers her hurt feelings in a bubbly tone.
He tells himself. About Misha.
"I still have a limp dick." "Huh? That backfired completely."
I think she's just embarrassed about calling it ice cream soup.
He's going to Baskin Robbins. Keep in mind that Misha was just eating (something like) ice cream.
"Oh, yea, I remember that. You stood in front of the gate for, like, fifteen minutes."
A real bustling metropolis, it is.
Until he sees Misha, that is. Then he sneaks over to Hanako's desk, hoping she doesn't catch on.
No, it's all real. Misha's still dealing with some heady emotional issues.
"I've already made that mistake once. There's no way I'm doing it again, in public."
Are you sure that isn't delusional?
"Did I ever tell you that I grew up with mole people?"
In other words, they're too goddamn amazing to exist.
"You waited this long to tell me that my breasts are shiny?"
Yes, you......................How about I leave it at that?
I mean, that's pretty much his entire character.
"Why am I doing this? This can't end well for either of this. This can't end well for either of us."
"...............Hanako, then?.............Shizune?.........I know somebody's there."
("I remember so much more. I just wish you did, too.")
Of course, it comes out like THAT.
"I guess Shizune's not the only one rubbing off on me."
"I really should know better than that. But.....new timeline, new rules, right?"
"........What would you say if I said we should start hanging out more often? Just the two of us?"
"Right. Of course you would." (Also, how Lilly approaches the Scotland plot hole.)
"You're the one who suggested that I put on the blindfold. It's a little d-" "What's this about?"
More like a nuclear implosion, honestly.
I guess this would be that point.
This, however. THIS is the ego project.
"I'd take the wh....".....Is that another typo? Or just a nonstandard use of "it's"?
Just like the writers forgot where to put Hanako in this scene. This dialogue must've confused her.
The Caged Heart says otherwise. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JeJjWeYQuc
"'Eeeeeeeey.............This really isn't as cool when there isn't anybody around to see it."
I think you're safe. You qualify out of the "virgin always dies first" rule.
"Oh, I love that song. Want me to strum out a few notes?"
"Doing something? You mean like your best friend?" "........Not even fucking close, man."
But that was, what, three updates ago? I think you're in the clear.
I've already told you: no more B-list Cartoon Network jokes.
"That's not his disability. Try checking his pants."
Huh. Don't remember this background. Let's find out what I missed.
"Believe me, I know. All too well."
[So I cut off her arms. Best decision of my life.]
............How about I just leave it as is?
A year? I thought it was just the past several months. I think that makes things considerably worse.
Maybe it could do some good? I mean, this is a difficult situation to handle.
Or that. Maybe it could be that.
[I'll always have you, cheap little cat doll.]
What a way to end this route.
Hopefully, he actually refuses this time.
Eh. I suppose there are worse ways to handle the situation.
Like this. This is the worse way to handle the situation.
How is your hearing THAT good?
But there was one incredibly, ludicrously wrong thing you could've done.
This is the same thing he says if he has sex with her. It's a little weird, is all.
This, however, is unique to the good ending route.
"No. Not this time. Not today."
"I still regret not having sex with Misha, though. Just a little."
"Anything's better th-oh, right."
Just read the damn thread.
"Even moreso when she breaks out the firearms." ".........." "Right. This isn't joke time."
He's describing the Iwanako letter that he was oddly OK with before.
"Wait, are you talking about Lilly or Shizune? I'm a little confused."
("She DOES know why I'm up here, right, Hicchan?")
I'm not entirely sure what's changed between these timelines. Besides the painfully obvious.
[.....] That's right. Her hands are full. I can't make her say [Give me some face.]
What the fuck? I don't remember this artwork, like, at all. Got any more surprises?
"WAS happier. That channged the moment my heart gave out. Somehow, I think they know."
No, you're closer than you think. (Wait, where the hell is this screenshot?)
[Enjoy your mom while you've still got her.]
Sometimes, you have to be a complete idiot.
[That certainly explains why your eyes were so red and teary back at my place.]
You DO remember what just happened, like, thirteen screenshots ago, right?
OK: What's changed, here? Besides the lack of Emi and Rin?
[And being mad makes me sad. Which, incidentally, makes me glad. At least a tad. Is that bad, Hisao?
[STOP BEING SO FUCKING DEPRESSED, GIRLFRIEND. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER ALREADY.]
"But after hearing that, I'm not so sure. I'm just lucky I found Misha before Shizune did."
("I say that more for his sake than mine.")
"......You know what? I don't see this going anywhere. How about I just go to the Student Council?"
"On second thought, maybe Hideaki isn't so bad. I sh-wait, he followed me here. There goes my out."
"I know, I know, he killed your mom, but b-" [How do you know that?] ".......Time travel."
Oh, you KNOW I'm gonna Photoshop this.
That's called dread, Misha.
"Hit her straight in the heart, and I didn't even have to look." ("It was a squirrel.")
"I've got a turd the size of Dallas, and it can't wait any longer."
ALL DAYS ARE PIZZA DAY. SO SAYETH THE KING.
Can't argue with that. Ever.
No Kenji sex scene, I take it?
"They sent me back a Bulma figure. I caught onto their game and stopped using the mail ever since."
"Ya fucked the loud, smelly girl you're always hanging out with, didn't you?"
7 Reasons Why The Feminists are A Bigger Threat Than You'd Thought and Also Shut Up.
I'm agreeing with Kenji Setou. What has my life come to?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpUy8r7pE5Q EXTENDED PERSONA JOKE
I thought I'd gotten rid of that joke a while back.
Apparently, he says this out loud, too. Just like Misha! Man, that's horrifying.
"Kenji, now's not the time to practice your ventriloquism." "YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT, DAWG!"
[Are you two getting male with each other?........Can I watch?]
"So do I." http://youtu.be/8Sr3ZbSxolI
"Just wait out here for a bit, Shizune. I've got some....guy things to take care of."
That's one way of putting it. I guess.
For some reason, it's neither the Shanghai NOR the Student Council room.
"Will it even fit?" [Fit into what? It's a bottle of wine.]
"This is the usual place?" [We've been up here before, haven't we?] "Like, two or three times."
This is too easy. THIS IS ALL TOO EASY.
Oh dear god, what the hell was he doing with that shrimp?
"Third for me." [Is this another time travel thing?] "Yea, I guess."
"Wait, you've had sex with Misha?" [........What did you just say?]
[Could you stop calling me fat and pretending like I don't know?]
Remember this. It's gonna be important in, like, three or four months.
"Is the opportunity still open?" [No, not really. I don't want that much gravel in my crotch.]
Most girls don't find an impromptu groping all that erotic.
I imagine inviting her (or at least trying to invite her) would've made it better.
[How amusing. You think too much like a cow.] "I am so very confused right now."
Given what Misha was like when the two first met, that's probably a very good thing.
"I don't remember mentioning anything about rope and a chair."
[Think of all the things you could've done with my butt!]
"Yes, but I don't remember being quite this giddy."
Go ahead. Use it. I won't mind.
"Hey, Shizune, are you hearing this shit?"
"Is that what that feels like? I'm surprised any of these girls would still want to be with me."
"Yea, but I'm still a little confused. Can spiders really predict the future?"
"I know the two of you think this is gonna be all fun and games, but it's not."
"Why do you think I have all these bloodstains on the back of my shirts?"
I don't think anyone could understand these girls.
See, THIS is why you'll never replace Misha.
Wish I knew which one was Aoi. (I'm going with the girl on the left, but that's about it, really.)
Not even that, really. It's hard to joke about those girls based off two lines of dialogue.
Katawa Shoujo 2: Katawack of the Clones. (She said it wasn't a good sequel.)
[Gotta put those bitches in their place.] "Shicchan, what are y-...OH, OH! I see what you're doing."
Which means no~ new~ update~!
"At least Hanako put up a fight."
[Wanna fuck?] "You know I do."
"I said yes." [Really? Let's get down to business.]
Sex with Hisao: depressing. Possibly.
And by "a while", he means "for nine hours".
"Because I didn't want to confuse some poor seagull's day?"
To be fair, you take twelve pages to describe the simlpest thing. You're halfway there.
"I see two naked teenagers bleeding out of the back of their heads. I'm not sure what to make of it.
"I have no idea why I'm looking for Misha out here."
"Note to self: don't do this to any girl ever again."
Metal Gear Shoujo. You know I'm gonna Photoshop that.
From zero to fuck up in two screenshots.
"I don't know. How do you do a job that poorly?"
I guess we know what Misha's Limit Break is.
"But you weren't using that eye, were you?" ".........." "I'm so horribly screwed."
I thought we went over this with Lilly. Don't make me make Shizune break out her sniper rifle.
Study overseas? For what's sort of your own language? Whatever floats your boat.
Weren't you going to become a maths teacher or something?
"I'll have to keep quiet, but still, there's no way Shizune could fi-"
Well, that didn't work out. Shizune found you, she's laughing in your face, and you can't even hear.
I'd Photoshop Hanako in if I could do it without invalidating the premise.
[Hopefully, you've learned something.]
[I will show the world my love.] "Shizune...where did you g-"
[It's just that it's a little difficult to tell somebody you love them and NOT slash them to pieces.
A hundred percent volume?......No? This is a sad moment? OK, I'll let it stand.
That's the only way she can live with someone like her dad.
That's as close to a Miki reference as we're getting.
I think we've figured out why Shizune's so shy about laughing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goHEN5
How about we test that theory, eh?
[You also have to make sure they obey.]
I'm surprised you're giving her the benefit of the doubt.
[Hopefully, I've set you straight on that nonsense.]
Do I make the Brooklyn Rage joke, or chastise him for this "She's moral because she's deaf" nonsense
[Plus that means I'd have to interact with Lilly's family. And my own. Screw the whole thing.]
"I said 'what', not 'who'."
Oh, shit, I should've told you this before, but STAY AWAY FROM THE ROOF. You'll thank me later.
("Oh, man. How did I wake up next to THAT?")
"It's as far away from wrestling as physically possible."
Watch it, Tropes. I'm the only one allowed to break the fourth wall around these parts.
Maybe you just hang out with loud, inconsiderate people.
Really? You sure about that? Are you sure there's NOTHING you regret doing? NOBODY at all?
So......many......Persona references.....
I think you'd remember better if they were more strongly distinguished at any point.
Misha Man! Louder than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive!
"....................(Well, this got awkward fast.)"
"Like, REALLY high. I'm not even sure what that is melted on the hot plate. It isn't coming off."
"What about your emotional scars?" "............."
"But I couldn't figure out how to get the creepy reverb working in sign language."
The look in her very clearly open eyes.
"I've got some business to wrap up in the girl's locker room."
"Are they as dirty as mine?" "N......no?"
I don't know why you're trying to change the subject.
"You mean you snuck into the boy's locker room to take pictures of candy?" "You bet!"
Predictably, it means "two" in Japanese sign language. Gotta confuse Shizune somehow.
"I'm going to miss you most of all, wrought iron gate."
Oh, you KNOW that's not gonna happen.
"Gonna have to kick the shit out of them."
"I sure was mopey when I first came here, but thankfully, I've realized that there's so much more."
"It's like she can vibrate your brain out of thought just by talking to you."
[Of course. What else am I going to do with this leash?]
Or how very anime. You know what? Let's go with that. How very, very anime.
Wait a minute. A sociopathic high school leader with short blue hair and a penchant for guns?
"I'll give it a rest this time. All I have to talk about is the damn gate, anyway."
Couldn't keep the unintelligible noise going, could you? I've been there.
"I don't remember Shizune using the n-word this much last time."
He asks her in sign language, just to fuck with her beyond belief.
"Can I meet your mom sometime?"
[Why's he looking at us like that? Do you think he knows what we're saying?]
"Instead, I'm going to gut her with something gutless."
That's right, I forgot: there's no way you can win this game.
[What? You thought you were gonna win against all this? YOU THOUGHT WRONG!]
"Should we stitch him back up, Shicchan?" [Nah, I'm not in the mood. Maybe he can reach the nurse."
Remember. This. (Because I probably won't.)
The less time he spends with Misha Man and Reverse Psychology, the better.
("There's no chance in hell that's gonna happen, but there's no chance I'd tell them that, either.")
And it was here that I realized he never beats her at Risk at any point in the game.
"How did you even know about that, Hicchan? You c......you're just s......I've.....I've gotta go."
"............................Why do I keep doing this to myself?"
HANAKO IS CUTE IN ALL TIMELINES.
Finally! He's taken a step!
"She spends the rest of the class absolutely frozen in place, slowly shivering in terror."
"That's the Shizune I know: vindictive, without the slightest hint of mercy."
It's kind of like Superman ripping open his shirt. Hell, the scar even sort of looks like an S.
"This time, I'm smart enough just to walk out of the room." "You can't hide it forever!"
[Did he just say he has a hard-on for her?] "Yes. I have a hard-on for every girl in this room."
What you can't see is Misha ripping his legs apart.
"I'd better keep an eye on h-and she threw that sword at me, anyway. How could I have been so naive.
Nice to see that he's going to fuck with them OUTSIDE my dumb little jokes.
"I'm still not certain how she makes sign language echo."
"Finally, a nice change of pace from a-"
And then we see Rin's corpse overlooking the wreckage of Yamaku. End of thread.
"................" "...............How many times have you said that to a girl?"
Glad to see that you're just as insane as Rin is.
I SHIT YOU NOT. This is the very next screnshot after that last one: one of abject disappointment.
"Oh, is that it? Did I scare it away? Are we getting six more weeks of winter?"
"Guess that makes one of us."
Obviously, my opinion on the matter is markedly different.
Don't try and change the subject, Babyface. It's not gonna work.
"And what are those sea slugs made of?" ".............I........I don't know."
"Do I?" "I'm talking about my art." "Oh. Uh....."
Another one of those flashers. Do with it what you will.
I'm with Hisao: she's having a lot of fun with this.
Proof that I'm actually doing Emi's route.
"He's got a great set of tits, too. You usually don't see that in a guy. Wish I had 'em."
"Unl-" "I GET IT. I GET IT."
"They're enough to put me on edge, so....you can only imagine what they're like."
".......................DON'T YOU FU-" "Guess that makes two of us." "AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Not really. It's just Rin, the blind kid, one of those student council girls, and....Nomiya. Eugh.
His name is Karl. Most likely.
"You mean they just walk up to you and say 'YOU ARE THOUGHTLESS AND SHALLOW'?" "Mm-hm."
Man, a freeze frame moment AND a GIF-able moment? Why am I on the Emi route, again?
Foreshadowing, folks. Plain and simple.
"So it's a lot like looking at a blank wall. A blank wall that constantly makes fun of your junk."
"Maybe I still have time t-" "It's been a day."
I guess Hanako only drinks in front of others after 12 PM.
Recess? They still have recess? Isn't this supposed to be high school? Not that you can tell.
"Thinking of people taking a dump just whets my appetite."
You fucking know it. Well, you will soon enough.
Right around Blur Corner.
"You're not a very good liar, are you, Hisao?" "You....shut.....your.....mouth....."
"YOUR LEG FLEW OFF AND HIT ME STRAIGHT IN THE FACE! HOW COULD YOU NOT NOTICE THIS!?"
"No, I was thinking I'd just bleed to death right here on the track. YES, I NEED A NURSE!"
This is a life or death situation. Shoulder touches will have to wait.
He's used to her being kind of an idiot.
"Then where's your other leg?"
Clearly, this isn't the first time this has happened.
"I decided I'd speed up, and then I f-" "I'm not talking to you, Hisao." "But my heart gave out!"
"O Almighty Osiris, please guide my hand straight through this goddamn idiot's stupid face."
They were made for each other.
Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I mean, we still haven't figured out what her dumb character trait is.
"I don't think anybody's gonna catch us up there. I mean, what are the chances?"
I can only imagine what those things are.
"Because I'm knocked up about three feet into the air."
How as.....WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON THE COMPUTER!?
"Sweet, comforting darkness. Why have I resisted your grasp so many times before?"
("Why didn't I think of this back at the airport?")
Certainly not time to be drinking.
"You talking about the booze? It's a lot stronger than I was anti-" "That was rubbing alcohol."
"Last time I drink the bottles hiding in the school nurse's cabinets."
And every last one of them is Haru-he's.
Hope for sex in the Student Council room, plan for a mysterious heart attack.
"This time, I'm smart en-AW, FUCK!"
"Wait a second, you didn't tell me Rin would be here!" "And you think I'm any happier about it?"
Let me save you some time: Alice has adventures in Wonderland. Trippy shit happens. The end.
But enough about Katawa Shoujo.
Funny. I don't remember Alice being this much an insufferable cunt.
Either you wear exceedingly thin shirts or reading about pig children has left you exhausted.
No wonder we've never seen Iwanako. She's a complete バックシャン.
There aren't even 200 pages in Alice in Wonderland.
"Yes, I remember handing you a note that said exactly that."
Just be glad these characters are drawn from the knees up. Otherwise, you'd see the tissue boxes.
Changing the subject: poor idea. Doing so by asking him what his disability is: FAR worse idea.
I've got my finger carefully placed on the Caps Lock key, Mutou. Don't make me pull the trigger.
So Emi's a puppy, Rin and Hanako are rabbits, Misha's a blowfish, and the other students are bees.
That's because it's only 10 AM.
So quick that you can't even make out any distinguishing features.
Snorting lines of coke in the summer grass? I like the way this girl thinks.
They both just stand like this for fifteen minutes, her eager breathing the only audible sound.
Maybe Misha's rubbing off on her.......I like to think it's not that.
"Really? What else did she tell you?" "Not much. Just that I should prepare to be disappointed."
Oh, it's a most unorganized art room. I dare say, such raucous chaos puts me in a tempestuous humour
"I take her lead and give her a piggy-back ride to the next shelf. She then claws my face a lot."
Most people apologize for something like that. Just saying.
You shoulda come to me, girl. I've got all the answers. And The Answer, but nobody ever wants that.
You'd better hope nobody walks in on this.
"Who am I kidding? Of course I would have!"
Emi's the type of girl who will vindictively urinate on the floor. No reason whatsoever.
"You better fucking not."
"And Rin spends all day in this room?"
I was originally going to capture this just for the GIF, but then I realized something.
Just like you're the type of person to describe a person and then immediately question it?
"YEA, FUCK RIN! SHE CAN GO TO HELL, FOR ALL I C-" "Calm down. I'm just saying she procrastinates."
So Katawa Shoujo is in the same universe as Night Shift Nurses? Wait, I know of Night Shift Nurses?
"Like, she'll drive a pencil through your shoulder and then pretend nothing happened."
I don't recall Emi and Rin ever functioning like Mecha Shiva.
You HAVE read Animal Farm, right, Hisao? You seem like the kind of person who would read that.
She's a girl. She doesn't have much of a choice, does she?
Apparently, the one half of the wall we can't see.
Wait, so Rin has Guernica tattooed on her legs? And Emi's got it on her face?
Somebody just told Happy Ending her nickname.
Never know true love, die in your prime, Frankenhole doesn't get a third season.
Her dick jokes are solid, but the delivery is lacking.
"You're right. That first part makes no sense."
"Hm HM hm friendly but hmhm king, who hm hm very hmhm queen..."
"Uh, Emi, that's my line."
She just realized that this isn't Rin's route.
"Now that I think about it, my eyes are probably bloodshot, too."
He says that with the best "who writes this shit" delivery he can possibly muster.
http://youtu.be/s7N_9sRNpus I guess.
Like, she physically creates a piece of paper? Out of what?
"I never knew something could be this wet."
"You bet your bruised ass I do!"
Cute girls are the backbone of the feminist conspiracy. Kenji's gonna flip his shit come Hanako.
"This one, specifically. God, I love lazy eye!"
"That's it? You were just going to pout. I don't th-"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmgV6vN0Evs OH GOD, IT HURTS!
"This is worse than what happened with Misha!" "Wait, what happened with Misha? Is she alright?"
Should I keep a counter for how often Emi is compared to a puppy?
"This feels so very, very wrong."
"Espionage is one thing, but healthy diet? That's just going too far!"
And while we're addressing forgotten plot points, where's Hanako?
Probably enjoying herself, given how late it is.
"This time, I'm prepared. No embarrassing faux pas about Emi's disability or anything like that."
I'm guessing insanity and sexism. Just a guess.
"I don't know if I should eat healthy food, or just binge on fried squid until I'm squirting it out.
"...then she had to tell me that she wasn't looking for a hug. But by then, it was too late."
There you go. Took all of two minutes of Google Image Search.
"NOBODY CAN HANDLE THIS MUCH FUNK!"
That's not what the Underground Railroad was, Hisao.
Glad to see my "insufferable cunt" comment still applies.
"Not that I've ever acted on its suggestions, now that I think about it."
"Maybe they're parents; maybe they're child molesters. Who's to say?"
............Glad to see you're at least acknowledging it.
"What's that sheet of paper you're holding?" "Oh, i-HEY! Give it back!" "...Really? Disabilibingo?"
Your sentence is death by Emi.
"What about it? I only got into this mess because you kicked me from ten yards away."
"You watch anime? I thought you were better than that."
She probably regrets closing her eyes right now, doesn't she?
"Yea, you've really had your hands full between classes and getting my foot in your face."
"And then Kenji fucked up my chances with Hanako, and Misha was left to pay the bill, and.....wait."
These two words are especially relevant.
Not in this route, there aren't.
"Why are there so many beer signs here? Isn't this supposed to be a high school festival?"
"*raises finger to object, realizes how right she is, puts it down in shame*"
Is that racist? Or am I racist for thinking it's racist?
"I've already experienced several of them."
As it says in Daniel 6:24, "Yes."
I thought a whole thread of being cut up by Shizune would teach you to stop undercutting me.
You mean she's at crotch level? I'm gonna LOVE this route.
Looks like she realized it, too.
Like standing behind Shizune at Tanabata. There's a reason Emi's steering you away from fried food.
I'm gonna be hot on Hisao's ass this whole thread, aren't I?
"Because I've got practice after this festival, and I don't think I could make it in time."
"Glad to see you're looking at my health problems so selflessly."
"That aside, her mural is loo-" "Mural? Damn it."
Still not as horrifying as Planet Laika.
I'm surprised you can still sleep after seeing something like this.
He says on the one screenshot most likely to have Prussian blue.
How many people in this game have an eating problem? Not even bulimia or anorexia.
"Skiddly-widdly-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"
".............Actually, I'm perfectly fine with my heart condition. Yea, let's leave it at that."
You are so laughably, horribly wrong.
"Surprisingly, Rin has kept the dick jokes to a minimum, and I don't think Emi's caught on."
God has long ago abandoned Yamaku.
"Or at least some guy whose name begins with a G. You never know."
Step one: haul ass out of here. Step two: there are no other steps.
To be fair, we'd already established her as racist back in Lilly's thread.
"Rin looks confused. I think I've accomplished something."
"Who knew that making girls happy felt so good?" "Certainly not you."
Given your behavior as of late, that's not too far a stretch.
Hisao then decides to book it to the dorms before Rin catches on.
Or maybe he stops for some cake. I'm hoping Emi doesn't come in and force me into a Portal reference
The most romantic route yet.
THE MOST ROMANTIC ROUTE YET.
"That's right: the doctors said my medication might make me allergic to poetic language."
"The G-Man has been watching me have sex."
That's not what she meant.
"She sure does put out faster than the other girls did."
"I think my penis is going to be just fine." "Wait, WHAT!? Aw, gross!" ".......Maybe it isn't."
It's like he's tempting Rin out of hiding. Like bird calls that tell birds about your junk.
"And promptly crashes into the fence. Who's superior n-OW, FUCK!"
Where could you possibly get that idea?
"I'm covered in sweat after watching a girl put her face between her legs. Did I just have sex?"
Aside from the billions and billions in this one scene alone.
"Still, I'd better look at it some more, just to be sure. What's the worst that could happen?"
Black sports bras: the pinnacle of humanity's medical knowledge.
"Because this school operates on puns, you know."
"The faster she runs, the worse her eyes start crossing. In retrospect, that explains a lot."
"I take it you're no longer interested in my tits?.........Yea, I knew. You weren't hiding it well."
"I was so close that you could legally consider it breastfeeding."
Where did you even find the time to masturbate? And the bush?
Katawa Shoujo: Better than sex.
This isn't necessarily related to the sex thing. Emi's just an asshole.
"Normally, I'd object, but I DID have sex with three girls on six or seven occasions."
Because you'd exhausted all your other options?
She can rhyme on a motherfucking dime.
You mean they don't? Then why have I been staring at them so much?
That bouncing up and down sure is dancer-like.
"Wait a second. I said that about Shizune and Misha, too, didn't I? I'd better be careful."
It gives her a good view of all the game's hideously depressing moments.
"What could she possibly see in me?"
Hisao's the type of guy who just jumps in the shower and turns the faucet to full blast.
"WHO TOOK A CRAP IN THE SHOWER!?"
Violently shitting out your organs will do that to ya.
"When I told Emi I wanted to see something depressing, I didn't mean you."
More like happy. For once.
"RAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHH! EMI SMASH! EMI SMASH!"
Smart money's on Rin. There's no predicting what she'll do.
"Or do you think Konami really phoned it in at the end of Symphony of the Night?"
"Yea, I told her. So what?"
"As in 'I'll make sure he's at the track meet'. Not that other thing."
"If I could say something bad about this force and know that he wouldn't hear it, I certainly would.
"Oh, you mean that G-guy or whatever? Yea, he's a pain in the ass. Never have any idea what he says.
"By the way, how's that Lilly girl doing?" "........." "Why you being so quiet, Hisao?"
Oh, I'm gonna get a LOT of use out of this one.
"Eh, it's just one day. I should be good if I just remember to take it later tonight."
Why do you think I've been giving you all these fourth wall jokes? You need some other jokes, girl.
Also, whatever the hell this is supposed to mean.
And by that, he means that she puts her hands on her hips. This is enough to enlargen her face.
"Wow, that's oddly forgiving of you."
This must be one of the side effects of his medication: increasingly bizarre language.
.........................................................What?
"I'll say!" "Damn it, Rin! What are you even doing outside the boy's dorms?"
You sure are religious, as of late, what with all the "blessed" this and "god" that.
Hisao's first experience with Gradius.
She even poops on the grass for the full effect.
Emi? A girl? That's the funniest thing I've seen so far.
Damn it. I already made the Sonic joke, and I value my limbs too much to take Shizune out,
Give it a couple of updates, then. We'll find out that you're not very good at keeping them anyway.
"All I asked was 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' I had no idea she was such an anti-Semite."
Rin knows her way around a pun.
"What was that bulge I saw in your pants before?" ".....You want to try again, Casanova?"
"You've been running for three weeks?"
How did I not notice it sooner?
She mentioned her dad. Prepare to deal with this A LOT.
What? This is the exact same image as last time. (Oh, and next time, too. Get used to it.)
"I open my blinds, check under my bed, raid my closet.....Rin's just gotta be around here SOMEWHERE.
Well, it would have at any other time of day.
WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SHAKING A BABYFACE!?
Just as I turn my head at your (confusingly) parenthetical thoughts. It's a little weird, is all.
"I read about it somewhere. I think it's called 'sleep deprivation'? All I know is it's all the rage
What better way to start the day than in a pile of your own sweat and vomit?
"I wouldn't be so sore if you didn't shake me so h-" "RUN A FUCKING LAP!"
"At your tits or your legs?" "Either one!" "What about your bulg-"
Don't worry, Babyface. Someday, you'll meet a girl who doesn't beat the shit out of you.
"..........Did she just call me gay?"
"I respond with a hardcore shrug. I shrug circles around this girl. I shrug the shit out of her."
"I've been thinking that a lot, lately, now that I think about it."
I guess he's referring to Rin and her deadly accurate dick jokes.
"Is time already folding in on itself? I can't even tell anymore."
I don't think the jury's going to buy that one. You won't last a day in jail.
"Like, a REALLY long time. In fact, this almost reminds me of what happened at the airpo-"
"I THOUGHT I GOT PAST THIS! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Emi must be creeped the fuck out right now.
"How completely boring. It's deaths like these that make me feel sorry for the people at my funeral.
Look at that? I was right?
The only thing that's changed is Emi's opinion of you. Seems she digs the "cocky psychopath" look.
"Yea, maybe." "Wait, what?"
And then she just fucking bails.
The way it sort of disappears halfway through, like she's willing her lips out of existence.
"Watching Emi run is a lot like watching a person slowly die in front of you."
"All covered in sweat, beads of it slowly dripping down her forehead and pooling just off her neck."
"For the better, too. I don't really like her when she's angry."
Then why are you spending so much time with Hisao?
"So you're saying that it would've been perfectly fine if I faceplanted into the track and THEN..."
Somehow, she still looks rather puppy-like doing it.
"Gee, that sounds absol-"
Emi has mastered the art of teleportation. Makes you wonder why she bothers with the running.
"Behind that curtain, specifically. I promise Emi won't look."
How many dicks have these two seen in their day?
This probably explains that last image.
Are you SURE that's the facial expression you want for that sentence, Emi?
So the nurse is clearly a psychopath, yes.
("But that doesn't mean I won't get to see them. He he he.")
"You're here for one week, and you made that fat girl with the drills spend all day crying."
So he's a psychopath and a stalker. Guess I'd better rework all these stalker jokes for the Nurse.
"Which is it? Did she die or did she survive?" "Neither."
Since when did the Nurse get an internal monologue? Is Hisao actually a mind reader?
Should I Photoshop Misha in? Or should I leave her crying in the bathroom?
"That was one determined baby. I only wish her parents could've seen that first year."
You know how I said Emi was the oldest of the shoujos? Apparently, she's also the most metal.
Presumably, for a very important date.
And he thinks Emi bleeding out of her legs is seductive!
"That I can feel them up all I like, as long as it's over the bra?" "BESIDES THAT!"
"Bitch, please. I've fucked enough of the girls here to say otherwise."
"..............I hate when you're right."
"I'm surprised how easily the pounds just come off when you spend half your day on the toilet."
I guess that's why you've been running with her so much: get her used to the idea.
"Did I take the right amounts? I'd probably check if I could read it right now."
Any reason for the crime drama sepia tone? Has Emi been dead all along?
They travel across time to haunt him in the now.
"That person will die soon." A perfectly normal thought to have when looking at anybody.
"I bet I can count how many times you've heard a girl say that on one hand."
She just loves them dice. It's becoming a real problem.
Hey, Chrono Cross called: it wants its character design back.
I'm with Rin on this one. Hisao has funny ways of defining people.
Rin doesn't take being hit on all that well.
Absolutely nowhere? This would make more sense if Hisao had dated Rin first.
I guess that explains where Emi gets the Vocaloid from.
"Hisao, could you stop staring at my breasts? It's kind of demeaning."
"I honestly think she's more interested in the stitching on my shirt than she is in my breasts."
"Your threadwork is amazing, Mrs. Emi's Mom."
"Too long." "Wait, we're dating?" "I don't think I said that."
Preach the truth, sister. Why do you think I made this thread?
"................................" ("Damn it. The one time I DON'T randomly blurt out my thoughts."
"I wonder what Emi got from her dad. Maybe I could meet him some time and find out."
Emi is telling the other opponents to kiss her tight ass.
An early step in Miki's plan for total dominance. Not that it makes much sense, mind you.
"AH! That starter pistol's louder than I thought. There's no way I'm going to win now."
"Meiko looks a little confused about why her daughter is cheering for herself on the track."
"She's not gonna make it~! Wahahahaaha~!"
Rin's reasons should be obvious.
That she was sweating profusely this whole time? You sure do have a thing for Emi and her sweat.
"And just like that, she's down!"
It seems Rin is rubbing off on Hisao. Next thing you know, he'll be making the dick jokes himself.
I would've chosen the word "like she's stoned out of her mind".
"I mean YOU don't. I see it all the time, but.....you know what I mean."
I was going to make the usual racism joke, but is Miki wearing loafers in the back?
This one screenshot is very personal. That's why we keep seeing it so damn much.
I don't think we want to know how Shizune ties into any of this.
He says on a still image.
"What a man, her father was. He could be so caring one minute, and then chaotic the next. And green.
When in doubt, ask something you'll probably regret immediately.
That was an awfully fast grieving process, wasn't it? Still, you're miles ahead of Jigoro.
"Looking at Rin really puts it all in perspective." "....................................Too easy."
Funny how the relay looks exactly the same as the 400 meter. Hell, they don't even use batons.
Looking vaguely angry, like she's going to fuck somebody up only a little.
Miki just strolls her way to the finish line. The girl in the back collapses in her own vomit.
"They move so fast that they all blend together into this one greyish mass."
Who's buying that, Hisao? Honestly? We know you blurted it out; there's no shame in that...this time
There is this time, though.
"But I didn't even say anything!" "I know what you were thinking two seconds ago."
Be glad that all the portraits are from the waist up.
"AIN'T NOTHING THAT CAN STOP THIS GIRL! ALL YOU BITCHES BETTER KNOW YOUR PLACE!"
The set-up for that last joke.
"Is that a 'my mom' joke? Because I n-" "No, your mom actually said that."
This may not seem like a terribly important line, BUUUUT...
...pair it with this, and it sums up Emi's route rather well.
I'd ask how much detergent you'd need to get that clean again, but that's assuming you'd clean it.
"I'm a little surprised that he was allowed to race in the first place."
"Somebody's BOUND to get injured."
"Damn it! My perfect plan, ruined!"
"So were you." "I think that's the first thing to come out of her that wasn't related to my penis."
".................Not at all?"
"'But there's no way he has to know about it.' Is that what you were going to tell me?"
"Watching that girl sweat her heart out.....it puts a whole new persperective on life, doesn't it?"
You're forgetting to take your medicine, you're hiding personal problems from the important people.
http://youtu.be/8Sr3ZbSxolI
"If you're going to die, do it off school grounds. That means less work for me."
"She does know you were THERE for those parts, right?" "I told her that, but she went on, anyway."
The Nurse's closed eyes are never a joke.
He must've learned it when he interned at Umbrella Corp. That's the only way he can handle Emi.
I give you permission to post the shit out of this. Leave it shitless, readers.
This one's on a case-by-case basis, though.
"I continue laughing, even after the event. Man, the Nurse has been rubbing off on me, hasn't he?"
"There is that.....yes. Now is the time."
It's quite the awkward hug, given the lead-in. It's more like he's strangling her armpit.
I guess this is supposed to be endearing (the music says as much), but it's actually a little creepy
Did I say a little? Because I meant very. This is very fucking creepy.
"I think she can feel my awkward erection. I know I can feel hers."
"Uh, Hisao? Could you....pull away? This is getting really awkward." "*sigh* The one time it works."
"Hisao, are you going to let go of her anytime soon?" "No."
She likes him better when he's flaccid.
"But not in the right places."
"That shampoo, though? Disgusting. Now if it smelled like sweat...."
Glad to see your stalker tendencies developed early.
"Vaginas are strange." - Hisao Nakai, after seeing three of them.
Because nobody from your old school bothered visiting you at the hospital. Ever.
This poetic insanity tendency, though? That one's all new.
"I don't think you can fake that kind of thing, Rin." "So naive."
Emi sees a sleeping person? She kicks them into consciousness or death.
For twelve fucking minutes.
"I thought I'd just drink my way through college, but my time with Hanako steered me away from that.
GOD, COULD YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH FOR ONE SECOND, BROOK!?
"I'm gonna have to spend a whole month getting these clothes clean. And another month on my body."
"I don't see what that has to do with the fall of the Qin Dynasty, but you know best."
So I guess Rin would be Blindbeard the Pirate?
Apparently, people can laugh sideways.
"I thought that brown bag was for her lunch."
Rin's enjoying herself too much to go for a dick joke. Let her have her moment.
OK, now you just sound like Shizune. That's as far from pirate as you can get.
"I promptly follow Emi, knowing that she's going to do something about that long guns comment."
This could apply to literally any event in the game. You're gonna have to be more specific.
[You thought death could stop the Student Council? How adorably naive.]
("I wish I knew that before.")
Of course, this is Misha we're talking about, so Hisao's eardrum has been blasted the fuck out.
"But we thought you were going to be there earlier, so don't be surprised if your building's bombed.
It's a textbook. Hisao forgot to pack, and Shizune's just looking out for him.
"Or at all? When did I start having hopes at all?"
Not now. You lost relevance one or two threads ago.
I can't tell if Kenji's being an asshole or if he's just being Kenji.
("Why didn't I think of any of this before?")
"I made a bet with Rin that you could beat Emi in a race." "Wow. Thanks for looking out f-"
Now we just need to figure out what the flipping fuck it is.
"After several hours of careful examination, I can indeed confirm that this is the exact same."
He never even got to eat the apple.
"Of course, HAD you been assigned to our class, it would cease being comfortable."
"I mean, what would make him think that we're not diligently studying for our final exams?"
"Fortunately, I think I can get through this, knowing that you're there to believe in me. Write soon
"I haven't been feeling the second trimester, and something tells me you didn't, either."
You would have if you fed him the apple.
This new material ain't cutting it for you, huh?
I don't know. You DID stop halfway through this time.
And then he just forgets about the letter. I don't think it has any real relevance after this.
Not that they ever told you where their rooms were or anything. You just knew that off hand, somehow
Apparently. It's been fifteen minutes, so this better be worth it.
Oh, come on. It doesn't seem that b-
"What, you think you're safe up there in the sky, rain? Did you see what I did to Hisao?"
When she says "rain, rain, go away", there's a good chance it will.
"She'd probably break her running prosthetic in two just so she could make it into a shiv."
"Today's going to be a real good day. ISN'T IT!?"
"I don't know. I think I like your Squidward better."
It's like God just hammered on the desaturation tool in Photoshop. (Assuming he's even here.)
Awfully early to break out the Misha heads, but I'll go with it.
I don't know; it's been a whole day. That's more than enough time for Rin to prepare.
The "I'm so in on it" stoner look she's so fond of. (Oh, and he was right about the flutter thing.)
Not that you've said anything so far that needs emphasizing. Or at all.
Emi, you insensitive bitch.
"He's making me reference BioShock. Weird, right?"
"Emi's looking about eight years younger, and I think Rin's bust size has grown a little."
We're saving her for Hanako's route. For some reason.
"FUCK YOU, FOOD! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS BECOMING A WOMAN!?" ".....What's going on with Rin?"
It's offended at something, alright. Or someone.
This is slowly becoming the world's most violent picnic.
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. What the fuck is that on the right? Is that a gravestone?
Sadface Babyface in 3, 2...
"Besides, I always look forward to going somewhere new." "Yippee! We're going to the Shanghai!"
That's probably because the rain has thoroughly soaked it through into nothing.
"I'm able to tell from fifteen feet outside the restaurant, in the loudly falling rain."
He's saying that more for our sake than his.
This takes on a whole new meaning when you hear the Lilly fancy date music playing alongside it.
"I'm not ready! I just got out of a bad relationship!" "Yuuko, what's gotten into you?"
Kinda wish Hanako could say the same.
Going for the low-hanging fruit, I take it? Prepare to crash and burn.
If it makes you feel any better, Rin probably ate more than either of you at the picnic.
Hisao then spits coffee all over Yuuko. I'd Photoshop that if it wouldn't look like he shat on her.
More like conservative game design.
"I swear, if it's related to that 'small world' comment from before..."
Or maybe she was summoning Cthulhu before something distracted her. Who can say? (Rin.)
"It tastes like her hair smells."
Brandishing a sword, if the sound effects are anything to go by.
"I know. I've sm-" "Don't do it, man."
About 4000 yen to the bill before booking it. Let Rin deal with it, somehow.
Because it was your plan, too. Man, two girls in a row who have no problem ditching their friends.
Our first choice in Emi's route, folks! And how does Hisao handle the situation?
By demonstrating that he's learned something from his time with Lilly and Shizune.
Not that it changes anything, mind you.
"You get the suds." "Rin?"
They tried that, remember? All that happened was Hisao got a little mopey about Iwanako.
"WHAT THE HELL, MAN!? You didn't tell me about this!? Oh, that just makes me w....wait, it's locked.
And just like that, I'm tempted to give Kenji a shotgun. See what happens.
"I mean, how many times have you been there, man? Don't you ever want to try some place new?"
"I throw them in his dumb face and make a beeline for my room. Of course, the door is closed."
Wait, leg? As in just one? I don't remember that ever being established.
"A girl's at her cutest when she's cursing the heavens in a thundering voice."
Oh, you KNOW I'm going to Photoshop that, probably!
Halfway through the first act, and Hisao's not even ready to commit. A sure sign of success.
"In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have tried to cover it up by sounding like a Renaissance knight."
Not that she told you she had a fever. You caught on once your mouse and mousepad began to melt.
"Wouldn't want Emi to hear about what you were doing THAT day, would you, Mr. Nurse?"
"I can make your medicine do far worse things to you than erectile dysfunction."
Hisao's character: the screenshot.
I think he caught on to that when you threatened him with it.
More like "gross" or "uncomfortable" or "probably illegal".
..................Is this better or worse than the sweat stuff?
This isn't an efficient way to fuck with a person, Kenji.
"Oh, no. No no no no no no no no no no no no no." "So there IS somebody here!"
Like, literally stomping through them, Godzilla style?
"Neither.......have......have......I'vegottagocatchyoulater!"
"I could never forget about you." ".........OK, then."
"I do it with everyone, now and again. I don't know why you're so uncomfortable about it, though."
The vodka bottles are piling up, and the school authorities are catching on.
"Like drinking chess." "Drinking chess?" "Mm-hm. You take a shot of whiskey every time you move."
"You've been playing drinking chess, haven't you?" "Oh, no, no noooooooooo. I'm fine. Sooooooooo..."
Cry all you want, Hisao. She's too drunk to remember any of this. Maybe.
Man, Lilly's kind of an asshole in this route, isn't she? I feel I've been saying that a lot.
In light of that bulge I gave Emi a while back, I can see where you're coming from.
They're confused about how a route with so much sex could be so religious.
"Where does HE get off telling me that Emi's perfectly fine? I mean, besides the medical degree."
"I REALLY hope she's resting."
Notice how he doesn't say anything about keeping out of her room.
Shouldn't this be in Hanako's route? Or at least WAY back in Lilly's route?
That's not the interest you should be worried about.
I don't remember you being so contemplative when you wanted to ask Shizune out. You just asked.
I guess the color pink takes the wind out of him. (That's all that happened. He saw pink.)
"I sort of wish she'd wear her hair like this more often. At least then, she'd actually look my age.
BLOOMERS!? What? I'm not even.....what!?
Oh, relax, Hisao. It could be worse. In fact, knowing me (and this game), it WILL be worse.
Don't worry. I've got that figured out.
I can't tear my eyes away from her legs, but that has more to do with what they're on. What is that?
IE: "If you thought her LEGS looked messed up, wait til you get a look at her boobs!"
Fear because he doesn't know how to react to seeing her bare legs for the first time...
("And I thought I was feeling bad BEFORE he said that.")
"I must smell it. There is no other option."
Of all the things you've said so far, she'd find THAT the most offensive. Apparently.
This has to be the ninth line focusing on that damn shirt. Does he want to see her or smell her?
He takes the high ground (her bed) and starts tossing stuffed animals at her. And an alarm clock.
"OH GOD, YOU ASSHOLE! WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU!? You'd better hope we find all my teeth."
Where were these all the way at the beginning of Emi's route?
Well, at least he's back to throwing the stuffed animals.
What does it say that I'm more uncomfortable here than I was at any other point in this feature?
"Bed and sweat, rolled into one delicious package...God, I'm so turned on right now!"
She goes furry. It does a lot to kill the mood.
OF ALL THE TIMES YOU WANT TO BE CERTAIN OF SOMETHING, NOW IS THE TIME.
"Thank God that worked. I almost thought he wouldn't buy it."
"And when did your pants get so tight?" "The moment I smelled your musk." ".........Al....OK, then."
"How about that? Is that doing anything for your gross boner?"
Which means no Misha heads today.
Actually, it looks like she finally realized what people do when they're in this position.
In this route? Hell the fuck yes.
"I think I know what I want to do with my life."
"I ran a couple laps, managed not to kill myself over Lilly, blah blah blah..."
"Hisao? Are you masturbating?"
"What about you, Emi? You feel the same way about me?"
Knowing this game: yes. All the time, yes.
"This is awful. I wish I could understand what's making her feel like this."
I guess daddy issues upgrade you from canine to sheep.
"She strikes me more as the type of person who would strike you at the drop of a hat."
"Can he even get that hard?" "Why are these walls so damn thin?"
"That's the fifth guy she's said that to!" "Damn it, Rin! Can't you leave me and Hisao alone!?"
......You ever Photoshop something for a joke, only to realize how fucking horrifying the result is?
"............................"
"After you flipped on me for hitting you with the alarm clock?" ".....Yea, sure. That."
"And watch her all. Night. Long."
You mean having some guy shake her out of her daddy issues? Probably one. Or none.
Oh. We're in depressing territory. I will adjust my material accordingly.
That's it. End of thread.
Ummmm......why's sad music playing over this picture? This is a happy moment, right?
"The memory of climbing the bed and throwing her on the floor."
"But I still fucking won that."
The sad music even follows him into the shower. It's gonna make masturbating extremely uncomfortable
Exactly. When has thinking like THAT ever backfired for you?
Only she's the track star, so she'd probably reach her in time.
The only reason I didn't Photoshop him in here was because Hisao is currently naked.
You mean when she's in earshot? You sure you don't want to give that a second thought?
I don't think most people consider "Did you sleep well" to be small talk.
"I CAME OUT OF THE WOMB AT A FULL SPRINT! I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO WALK BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS RUNNING!"
"Haven't YOU ever wanted to do that?" ("Like you wouldn't believe.")
"Then again, in those shorts, I don't think I have to ask."
Because the blood's rushing to....well, I think you know. (It's her dick.)
It's also making it hard for him to hide his feelings for her. (That's the name he gave his penis.)
"Maybe it has something to do with her crying about her dad. Still, I can't be entirely certain."
You've gotta face facts, Hisao: you're not getting back with Lilly. That's not happening.
"But if I can find the right pyrote-" "NEVER. A good idea."
"Your hair smells like bananas."
Just like every other girl at this school.
"Pregnant? Like you wouldn't believe!"
I don't know. You've done worse things than ask a girl about her dick.
Do you mean Shizune and Misha, Hanako and Lilly, or Emi and Rin?
Whatever it is, it's important enough to get blank white text on the screen.
"I was hoping for some medical advice, but sure, I'll go with a dinky block puzzle."
With such specifically vague wording, you KNOW it isn't Emi and Rin!
All that build up, and it was just Emi? No wonder she's confused.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXYPJB90gXE
How does that relate to the last question?......I don't want to know.
Get dressed? See each other once? It was a cold; not an STD.
"Wait, why am I thinking in British? You have any idea, Emi?"
"You're right. Why DO we speak like this? Only one of us has actually been close to England."
Don't worry. At best, he's gonna be fly.
"And then tightens my tie until the color has left my face."
"Do you hear me? Huh? Oh, real funny. Roll your eyes up and fall asleep when I'm talking to you."
Katawa Shoujo: like an ESL textbook with a lot more nudity.
"Is there a child lock on the lid?" "..........Aw, shit."
"I'm still not sure how bringing up Rin's cold would help my chances."
You fail. It's the most hardcore, death metal shrug you could possibly muster.
I think that's enough dick jokes for one update.
Normally, I'd open with a joke about Hisao missing the point, buuuuuuuuuuttt.....
Her. Dad. She just gave you a pretty big fucking hint.
Do I go with the "Emi's got a dick" joke or the "Hisao still hasn't caught on" joke?
She does look just as uncomfortable, though. I'll let you figure out why.
"How long, exactly? Does it matter? Our love is etern-" "Twelve. Twelve days."
If this was relevant to the feature, I wouldn't be able to post it, would I?
And now I'm off to look up the most common college sports mascots.
Love does strange things to a guy, like make his girlfriend a creature from folklore.
This is the best way to tell a girl you love her. "Baby, I want to be pirates with you."
"Eh, I might have a heart attack in the next five seconds, but that hair....strawberries...mmmmm..."
Thankfully, it preserves the part of his brain that keeps the narration going.
"She leaned in for a kiss, one thing led to another, and now Emi is half roof gravel by volume."
OK, what the actual fuck. What's stranger about this: that this girl bathes in strawberry jam...?
It's the last two lines that do it for me. Like he loves the bench as much as he loves Emi.
"But mostly those first two parts."
"Eh. Lilly was better." "What?"
"At least this time, she accepted." "I....uh.....I......."
"She must've found it real funny to be crying that hard. Into her arms. Slowly shiv...."
But fuck that. We've got a self demonstrating opener to deal with!
He DOES know you have a girlfriend, right?
"The smell of strawberries wafting from her hair, the scent of sweat making its way into my nose..."
Hopefully, this means I can rehash the same Futurama joke without anybody catching on.
"Somebody's GOT to see this!"
Haru-he doesn't need these distractions.
http://youtu.be/8Sr3ZbSxolI
"Has that EVER worked out for you?"
And look at what happened.
"Turns out it's a lot harder to make LSD underground when the professors are always in your business
You're not supposed to use your supply, Mutou. Did you learn anything?
Man, Mutou's really out of it, isn't he? He doesn't even remember that he's in Japan.
http://youtu.be/8Sr3ZbSxolI
"Just with each other. Don't tell anybody else about our reading sessions. You hear me?"
"Did the Nurse mix my medication with his again?"
"You don't even need college for that. Just a trailer, a pit bull, and years of burning regret."
"I value my teeth more than I value my eyebrows." "I think I can see."
"Alright, now he's just fucking with me."
"And he's so out of it that I could probably walk out of this conversation without him noticing."
"On purpose?" "Maybe some other time."
Showering off the rhymes before your big date.
Yea, I can imagine that going over well.
These rhymes may not seem all that important, but one heart forward later...
...and Hisao has fallen asleep after three pages.
"I doubt she's in the mood for a two hour bus ride and a lengthy explanation."
Too bad. It's nothing but dick jokes and daddy issues from here.
"Her legs look realistic, except for the part where they don't."
What's going on with her eyes? Were they charcoaled on, or did she go crazy with the mascara?
From now on, all my posts will be this. All of them.
A date at the nearest 7/11. How romantic.
But not as romantic as this. Someday, Hisao. Someday...
Not that this has stopped you at any point in the past.
Not that this has stopped you at any point in the past.
"But didn't you come with us on th-" "ALL. YOUR. FAULT."
"Eventually, we compromise and settle on blaming Rin."
"I'll admit, I spent far too much time staring at Hanako. How many bottles was she smuggling?"
I think she's got you beat.
And then promptly chokes to death. End of thread.
Or maybe I was referring to Hisao.
"I don't know. I haven't said anything about your penis." "And I haven't said anything about yours."
"What? I don't remember ever bringing that up with you." "No, I was talking about Rin."
".....Was this on topic, or-" "I'm not even sure myself."
"You'd be surprised." "....Did she follo...."
"Emi's summoning the fury of the elements. I just hope I survive this one."
Fortunately, this girl can hear you.
Remember, kids: it's not a real date if she doesn't put out.
"Now if that curry carried the pungent stench of sweat..."
Don't mind him. He just finds the idea absolutely hilarious.
Yes. I don't know at what, but yes.
Science is a little more forgiving th-
You know what? Maybe science DOESN'T approve.
"That's right. I'm a girl."
Because a woman can't enjoy herself without somehow changing genders?
That was a joke. I didn't mean for you to take it seriously.
Scratch that. For a second, I was worried we had a third fourth-wall-breaking character among us.
OK, so she's completely out of her mind. Good to know.
You mean I could've just posted this image and ended the feature there? This is bullshit, man!
Her sweat, her unbridled rage, her clumsiness...her penis...
Not that you can tell from this screenshot. I guess we're gonna have to trust Hisao on this one.
"FUCK YOU, MR. SUN. LET ME HAVE THIS CHILDISH SENSE OF WONDER."
Getting fancy with the vocab, I take it? Love does.....wait, I don't remember that before.
Sending him into immediate cardiac arrest.
"I promptly collapse on the ground while Emi calls 911."
Guess which one of them brought up the last topic.
I never knew anorexia could be so aggressive. Or applied to somebody other than yourself.
"One of her legs has gone missing."
"That certainly explains why it took us three hours to get back here."
An odd time to be thinking of missed opportunities, isn't it?
Two things to mention: Emi's limping pretty bad, and this choice is completely meaningless.
Not that this stops him from doing the right thing.
"Was that supposed to be assuring? That you put your legs through such horrible punishment?"
Largely because of one impromptu Half-Life reference.
Once you look past your girlfriend walking away in pain. And the lack of sex.
"I CAN TASTE TIME ITSELF!"
This time, he remembers it as Indigo Prophecy.
"Seeing this girl happy reminds me of her severe emotional trauma."
She thinks you already know.
On the one hand, you tried that already.
Apparently, a lifetime of psychological torment warrants happy music.
And I think we know who's responsible for that.
That's right: we're jumping headfirst into the depressing bits. THAT'S THE KATAWA SHOUJO EXPERIENCE!
Seriously, why is such happy music accompanying such a depressing scene?
Are you sure you want to jinx it, though?
You're REALLY pushing your luck, here.
Agreed. Usually, you'd be angsting over Lilly, or over your heart condition, or over Rin.
"I think it's time I ignore when my legs are screaming instead of ignoring when a girl's screaming."
"Of course, I'm still running, so it's less a hug and more a tackle."
"H....Hisao? Could you let me go n-" "I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH!"
Sure are a lot of out of character moments in this update. What's next? Shizune treating Misha well?
("I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult.")
Was Emi's route written by a sweaty Catholic minister? And is there enough alcohol to make me forget
"I'd tell her how strange this feels if I wasn't busy kissing her."
Top of the update, and somebody's in horrible pain. I really know what I'm doing, huh?
SHRUGS ARE NOT MEDICINE, BABYFACE. I thought the doctors went over that in the hospital.
Good news: he's learning. Bad news: the voices in his head are fighting.
"Emi, you've left a highly conspicuous trail of blood from here to the track."
Not that she's doing a very good job of it.
BUT NOT LIKE THAT. *groooooaaaaaaaaaaaaan*
And she's gonna make damn sure that you won't see each other for the rest of the day.
"I mean, yea, Emi's clearly in pain and she doesn't trust me enough to tell me about it......"
That's because she's fresh. He has the medical documents to prove it.
That's it, Nurse. Rub salt in the wounds.
"I thought that door was locked."
"What were YOU doing last night?" "..........Forget I asked."
"I tried that myself, but....uh....I think you can guess why that didn't work."
"Who is? You're gonna need to be more specific."
NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE BRITISH. (Or at least vaguely British.)
The only reason I haven't Photoshopped blood on here is because he hasn't taken blood samples.
"I know what you saw on the roof."
"Yea, I'm gonna need you to cancel tonight's order......Because I think somebody's watching....."
"Uh....EMI'S my daughter. Not Hisao. (Is the head going to be ready, too?)"
H......yea, that's actually a good question. What the hell, Nurse?
"And Rin's always been less than that, so it all balances out."
"Rin?.............Hello?..................Is.....is she dead?"
"I think. I'm still not sure if she's dead."
"No, that couldn't be it. Emi got the kind with the child locks. There's no way she could open that.
"Maybe she saw a little too much, and paid the ultimate price."
"I'm betting it's a blowdart to the back of the knee. Nobody would suspect a thing."
"More like a thumb, tops.......Probably a baby toe."
Is that Emi's shadow in the lower left? Hooray for attention to detail!
I'd say you should stop treating her like she's five, but I'm more worried that she's your daughter.
Or maybe she's into that kind of thing.
That explains the thread's dip in quality for the past few days.
Don't you mean "sleeping and sweaty"?
"Why are we eating out at a hospital cafeteria?" "Talk to the nurse, Emi." "Cheap motherfucker."
So you call your hand "the nurse"?
"I didn't mean a three w-" "TALK TO THE FUCKING NURSE, EMI."
You're voiced by Hatsune Miku. Of course it's that high. Do you even click my musical links?
She managed to insult them both with one comment. Rin is a master in the art of assholery.
"Rin, why aren't you laughing? I'm gonna look like a jerk, otherwise." "Exactly."
You keep up this Final Fantasy Tactics dialect, and you're gonna end up with a knife in your chest.
It takes on a whole new meaning if you put another period in there.
"I'd tell him to go fuck himself, but there's a good chance he would."
Two characters have mentioned Nomiya, and just as many have pointed out that he's a fucking creep.
("Oh, crap, did I upset him? Is that what I looked like that one night with him?")
Has he been hanging out with Kenji behind my back? HAVE I MISSED AN OPPORTUNITY FOR COMEDIC GOLD!?
Then good thing that hasn't happened yet.
("Or right now. Not that I'll") "Tell him that?"
Yea, that Fire Emblem joke at the beginning was kind of weak.
"We're like twins, right?"
"Can't believe I couldn't think of a joke. I guess there's a first time for everything."
"We're both too smart to fall for such an obvious set-up again."
[You see that, Misha?] "You mean that trail of blood?" [And you know what that means?]
[So, mind telling me whose blood dat iz? Brace yo'self foo'!]
"I'm still not sure why Shizune's talking like this."
[Da trail's leading outside, dat armless beotch followed you down here....It wuz dat Emi beotch!]
[Yo ah didn't think you had it in you, Hisao. How'd you do it? uh sharpened pencil?]
[Ah tried ta hide da body under da stairwell, but ah guess she crawled away with muh beeotch.]
"I've got no clue what's going on! Wahahahaaha~!"
First order of business: come up with a better name than Science Club.
Maybe that's his disability.
Should I even bother getting the Laughing Misha Choir? I don't want to bother Mutou....yet.
"But what if I don'-" "Repeat after me: Yes. I. Do."
Just like those "ask your parent's permission before using the Internet" warnings are real.
He thinks he's in Inception.
"Is that why you're always dropping pencils in the middle of class?"
"Science cannot move forward without thousands of dropped pencils."
I think this is supposed to be a sad moment, but I don't hear any sad music. So it must not be sad.
"I mean, it's not like I have anything to do or anybody t-OH SHIT, EMI!"
Did you tell her they were POT brownies?
"They're still not very usable."
YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THIS.
DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
"Oh. That's it? I thought you w....so what's this about a cat burglar?"
Looks like Hisao's not the only one forgetting to take their meds.
Or maybe she's just taking the wrong medication.
"COULD I get her to do it?................It probably isn't worth it."
"What makes you think I could be a spy?" "I've seen you sneaking in and out of the girls' dorms."
Well, he's got Solid Snake's mannerisms down. That's half the battle right there.
"I just told you, silly."
Dear god, you're an idiot.
"Oh, shit." "..............That.....that must be......interesting......"
"I never knew blackmail could be this fun."
"I thought you'd be with Rin, given how much you were staring at her."
Unfortunately, there's no winking portrait for Yuuko, so the eye in question will always be unknown.
"So I continued dating him..."
"At least not until he wanted to have sex with me. So I said yes..."
Are you sure he ever existed at all? That he wasn't a figment of your tortured imagination?
But what animal is Shizune? Will we ever find out?
"Hearing Emi distressed just pisses me off."
Anything in this update, for instance.
......That's gonna be harder to Photoshop in.
What's more surprising? That Hisao hasn't noticed her prosthetic legs until now....?
How can so many words be so very wrong?
I mean, just look at her. That face clearly screams mental anguish. It just SCREAMS it.
THERE'S the "I've been crying" face.
Because it's coming from me.
("Why do I get the feeling the Nurse had to tell her that?")
I guess the whole "wheelchair" thing can wait.
"I can't stand seeing her happy."
"Next time somebody tells you not to break a mirror, LISTEN."
"I know. They're right there, next to your backpack."
Your job, apparently, is to hump her until you've got nothing to left to hump with.
"Come back in a couple of years. I'll take advantage of you then."
"Don't fucking remind me."
"That knife is WAY too big. Where would you even get a knife that huge?"
What? You thought I was kidding? I AM NEVER KIDDING.
We're two pictures in, and not only has Hisao called his girlfriend fat, but he slapped her.
Give it a couple of updates.
I don't think a wheelchair would have kept Misha off the roof.
"Like this one time, one of my friends told me she was thinking of killing herself......"
That's gotta be the eighth time you've said that. (When) will he learn?
"Why are you putting your fist in my mouth?" "Come on, Hisao. You've never wanted to try fisting?"
No. I don't think we have to worry about that anymore.
I see we have a fan in our midst. Didn't know Emi was into black humor.
Wait a minute. She knows?...........Oh.............ouch.......
"Yea, but I don't think Shizune or Misha would want to see each other naked."
Wow, Emi, I didn't know you were such an asshole.
"I AM KING OF THE RING, BITCHES! RYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
Since when was she part spider?
"I will destroy you and your kin."
"But will she even notice it?" "Hey, Rin. You might as well come in here with those jokes."
You say that like this is the first time you've had to have sex for an audience.
"So you're saying you want me to use my masculine wiles?" "DEAR GOD NO."
Don't. Don't make that face ever again.
That explains why you're missing so many teeth.
Because seeing Emi naked is both.
"Hey, what do you think Hanako's doing right now?" "Rin, w-"
AND WE JUST SKIP TO THE NEXT. FUCKING. DAY.
"What it doesn't explain is how I ended up in my room."
All he did was see Hisao's hard-on, give an approving thumbs up, and then go back into his room.
"I'd argue with her, but she does have a point. I can't even remember when I had my last period."
Like Emi's tits in yours.
Is that a typo or an actual word? I can't even tell anymore.
Move over, Emi. There's a new love interest on the horizon.
"This goes on for a while before I tell her that her threats aren't working."
"There's no way I'm leaving this shed alive, is there?"
Even the door's like, "Nope. I don't want anything to do with this."
"Not that we're wearing the RIGHT clothes, mind you, but it'll have to make due."
Don't worry. Rin left a while ago.
"Now that I think about it, maybe butt fucking a girl who has to sit down all day wasn't a good idea
Yea, let's go with that. I wouldn't want to know how this could possibly get worse.
All you have to explain is why you're fidgeting so damn much.
("I see he found the clamps.")
"There's supposed to be a duck, I think. I can't quite remember how it goes."
"Mutou has some weird excuses for not showing up."
Kenji. Kenji is what happens.
"That's what you gotta tell her, man. She can't dodge her problems forever."
"This is the kind of thing I'd expect out of Rin."
I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or a jerk. This is what the Internet has done to me, folks.
"What's that brown streak doing?" "Uh......." "Oh, I get it."
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
"Good to see you've been practicing so diligently as of late."
It's mostly song ideas. And by that, I mean "sound effects that he writes out".
What you don't know is that he's saying the same thing.
Why? Why why why why why? This is far too many Misha heads.
Crisis averted. We are safe another day.
Yes. That's exactly what's been keeping her up at night. You hit the nail on the head, Sherlock.
"These exams must really be getting to her. What else could it be? Maybe I should help her st-"
Agreed. Misha needs the rest.
"The slowly expanding blood stains you've left on my bed say it all."
"Guess that makes two of us."
She's still in the wheelchair. That doesn't leave her many options.
I've never seen somebody miss the mark by so very, very much.
"I wish I'd researched these things BEFORE that incident in the shed."
Well, except for all that time with Shizune, but the more distance between you & Jigoro, the better.
So you asked Emi what she wanted to do after high school, and she just blurted out "abortion?"
I sense a sad moment on the horizon. You have been warned.
"She asked me if we wanted to have sex again. I wasn't terribly in the mood, but..."
"All the Febreeze in the world won't cover up what we did on the roof."
"STOP EXISTING, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"
"He wanted to split it down the middle, but I told him that you can't do that with a painting."
Since now. THERE IS NO FIGHTING IT.
That explains the look on her face.
"There's no way I'm meeting after hours at the Shanghai to plan a bank heist! That's just silly!"
"I'd have asked her how you steal a painting from a bank, but she bolted soon after that sentence."
("There's no way the judge is going to buy that.")
It's gonna be pretty hard, considering she dealt it herself.
All three involve the butt. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not going to ignore it, either.
"Let future me worry about it. That guy's an asshole, probably."
Of course, that changes when he sees this fucking thing.
..............That was the LAST person I expected.
I'd say that this choice determines whether or not we get the bad ending, but "bad?" Really?
Even if that's where we're going.
"Now if only that happened more often."
The guy teaches science, not English.
"Before I met you, I had no idea that there was more to college than drinking and regret."
A little late to be asking that question, isn't it? A little VERY late.
"Huh? What is? You didn't say anything." "Exactly."
"Plant a bunch of cameras all over the place and hope you get a usable angle?"
"Science is a way of life, Hisao. Not a very legal way of life, but it's a way of life nonetheless."
Weirdest moment in the game. And that's saying a lot.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go chuck somebody into a TV." "What was that?"
Just like it's my job is to make it not make sense again.
"Was that supposed to be our Science Club meeting?"
"And more importantly, how does Emi fit into all this?"
"Look, can you just lay low for a while?"
"I'm pretty sure Mario says more than that, dude."
But instead, I decided to take pictures of Babyface and Deckard getting dirty in the shed.
"Kenji's approving of what I do? What has HAPPENED to my life?"
"Did she really say that? Man, this Amy chick's got life figured out."
You're a bit late on the Risk strategy, Tropes.
"I pilfered it off this girl hanging out with the Satou chick. You know her, right?" "............."
I like to imagine he's actually squinting here.
"Finally, I can find out what's been b-"
Really? The music says otherwise.
Did I get through to him, or does he seriously think he's off to a great start? I leave that to you.
"Really? Is that why you were crying two minutes ago? Screaming 'Daddy!' at the top of your lungs?"
"I don't know what's making me more uncomfortable. That she's tongue fucking her 'Daddy'...
...or how much she reminds me of Lilly."
"...I'm suddenly reminded of something Shizune said to me."
"Wait, what? What did Shizune tell YOU?" "Well, if you move your tongue a c-" "NEVER MIND."
Nothing helps you walk better than sitting down on a bed.
"I've long ago run out of fucks to give. At least this time, it's going to work to my advantage."
I'd tell you to take a drink, but I feel like you've already taken that precaution. God knows I have
Huh? You're going the heartwarming route? Go right ahead. No objections here.
"But there was, like, a two minute pause between those words." "And your point?"
"I mean, that's Rin, for God's sake. RIN. Do you really want to aim for THAT?"
IT HURTS! OH GOD, IT HURTS IN THE BEST OF WAYS!
Fuck you, man. This really hurts to watch. There's no second meaning or anything; it's just hard.
"I don't think video games are going to alleviate the situation." "AND WHAT WILL, HISAO!?"
As bad as THIS scene is.....it gets so much fucking worse.
"Now that I think about it, she dropped some pretty obvious clues."
So she's literally running away from her problems? Which one of you pun masters wrote this script?
"Really? No outlet? You've never once taken that thing to the track?" "Well, DUH."
"It's the kind of smile that tells me she taught the child first-hand. Repeatedly."
Man, their relationship sure has become confusing as of late.
"I don't lift the toilet seat up."
"I sat on some of those seats."
A thousand ways to mock those things you say.
Smart money's on losing her dad.
Wait a minute, how did he get to the boy's dorm?
And the next, he's walking to his own room. Have Emi's problems warped the local spacetime?
Turns out Persona 3's full of shit. Who knew?
Exactly. How many times have you woken up in a cold sweat, screaming, "HOSPITAL, HOW COULD YOU!?"
"I'm slowly starting to regret turning down that scholarship to Hogwarts."
You've already experienced five of them.
What a strange thought to have in what has to be late July at the earliest.
In that you can feel her sadness crawling in your balls?
Maybe it has something to do with living in the moment? Or running clearing her mind?
You know how most people drink a glass of water or something to help them fall asleep? Not Emi.
Wait. She slept easier because she talked about her problems with Hisao. Don't waste this, Babyface.
Or you can make your own mistakes. I'm not stopping you.
"How does Emi do it? 'Run off the sadness' my perforated asshole."
"At least THAT takes my mind off all the terrible things that happened last night. Sort of."
Like, literally landed him there. He's running past the spot where his heart crapped out.
"Help me, Buddha, you're my only hope."
KATAWA SHOUJO, ladies and gentlemen.
Here, have a medal: "For Noted Excellence in the Field of Suck, Babyface Nakai".
What this screenshot doesn't communicate is Emi's vitriolic laughter.
Maybe she really DOES care about you on some level? Just a guess.
"Uh.......There's this thing with Emi. She's been in some clear emotional pain recently, but s-"
"It was around this time that the accident happened. It took both her dad and her legs."
"........Really?....I just.....*sigh*....."
I'm not even giving him the choice this time.
"Something about the heat death of the universe and how we're all meaningless in the grand scheme."
Nobody knows how to deal with the Nurse.
"I would've said she's a pain in the ass, but I know what you were doing in that shed."
"Well, she DID say something about how much she misses her dad. Got any idea what it means?"
"Could you tell me what day, specifically? I don't want to risk looking like a complete douche."
I've made a drinking game out of this. Take a shot every time you want to shout, "HER DAD!"
Just in case you thought I stepped a line at some point, the Nurse approves of what I've done.......
"How do you figure?" "Rin would just make fun of her junk...."
"Man, this kid chose a strange time to practice his ventriloquism."
"I'd probably find that funny if I knew you weren't into that."
The nurse, meanwhile, is keeping his fucks rather close to his chest.
Too easy. Give me another one.
Damn it. It's like this one scene is tempting me with all these obvious sex jokes.
"After what happened with Shizune, I'd normally shudder at the thought of meeting the parent."
"And then rubs her hand rather unplayfully. I honestly didn't expect her to be so brittle."
"Parent? Did so-" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (keepyourfuckingmouthshut)."
No doubt you said this to yourself when I first started this feature.
And this was probably your exact response.
I think you mean fake, not fa-
BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh, that's just too good.
...I might as well make the Nurse look significantly stupider.
Top of the update, and the nurse can eat a dick. I like where this is going.
"But I guess Emi's dad is out of town or something, so I'll have to settle for the one."
Does her family live out of a dry cleaner's?
Guess I'm chugging another one down. I swear, I've bought so much alcohol that I'm considered a bar.
"Well, not so much 'talk about' as 'scream through clenched tears', but same thing, right?"
"You know, I'm starting to think it isn't healthy to bottle up your emotions."
"So were the other twelve!" (Apparently, Rin followed them there.)
They're called the uncanny family.
Am I gonna have to revoke Meiko's status as this game's one good parent? And you were doing so well!
"Oh, that's right. That person I hugged a second ago physically exists."
That massive chin, for one.
Not to men...Wait, is that a random bottle of Mountain Dew on the shelf? Does Meiko not own a fridge
[Don't tell her you had sex with her daughter. Don't tell her you had sex with her daughter. D-]
Who's crazier: Hisao for just laughing mid-sentence, or these two girls for not being phased by this
I initially read this line as "fastest thing, oh no, legs". Amazing how that's still relevant.
If Rin were out there with you, you'd be dealing with a lot more dick jokes. And vomit. Tons of it.
"Not in relation to anything here. She just wants you to know about the word 'hello'."
"I only wish she brought it into the dining room with us."
"I will share these rations with the track team on the morrow. The time for rebellion is nigh."
("Oh, shit. Did she find out?")
Emi, meanwhile, is regretting every decision she made that has led to this moment.
"Seriously, though, I think you should see another nurse....."
Apparently, this is comforting.
"I wish you told me you were dating my daughter. I swear, all the good guys are already taken."
"Hey, Mom? Maybe we could talk about something other than how I lost my legs?"
"I'm right here, Mom. You can stop talking about me like I'm in the other room."
"What a piece of shit, am I right?" "I know, right? Almost as bad as what happened to your legs."
Watch as this comes to bite you deep in the ass.
"...whatever DID happen to Robot Jones?"
What a time to jump back into the conversation.
"I don't understand. All I said was that it's going to be a little cold when she has to her Dad."
"Because I have absolutely no clue why Emi's so upset."
How are you not getting this? I think Meiko even told you that he's dead.
I sense a bad ending on the horizon.
A really, REALLY bad ending.
"Do I have a conversation with this woman, or do I skip the formalities and just have sex with her?"
"Maybe I should check on Emi, instead."
Pooping with the door open? How has Emi fallen so low?
"Looks like a constipated rabbit snuck into your house and gave it a try."
"I didn't invite you to have dinner with my mom so I could BE with you."
"I think it was after you threw me off the bed and started shouting that you're the King of the Ring
And that you're the Incredible Hulk and have a penis and a bunch of other confusing things.
Yea, you could've been a little less....accusatory with that.
..........It's one of THOSE moments, isn't it?
"So stop calling yourself The Nakraist. It's getting annoying."
.....On second thought, maybe he SHOULD'VE gone after Meiko.
At this point, I've just started drinking the whole bottle.
Guess that makes one of us. Dick.
"Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn't very smart to say that after learning her dad's dead."
You don't get any shoulder touches in the bad ending, asshole.
Even seeing your thought processes play out, I still don't know what you hoped that would achieve.
"She's messing up my rhymes, too? That bitch!"
"I usually duck into the girl's bathroom, knowing I can find Hanako."
You know things have gone horribly wrong when Mutou becomes the comic relief.
It makes its own caption.
Remember when Rin followed Hisao to Emi's place? She saw.
"I didn't know how much I missed Lilly until I had to deal with Emi."
Just like Emi. Not that that's a good thing.
"Not that I've been running faster. Time itself seems to speed up, for whatever reason."
Is Lilly really the only character in the game without some kind of spirit animal?
"For a second, I thought some grotesque monster had approached me so it could suck my life force."
"I know we had sex that one time, but that was long ago and I don't t-" "What are you talking about?
"Unless it's that burned up chick who sits in the back. Her life will be a never-ending misery."
"Misha, why are you spinning around so fast? Are you dizzy?" "Sorry. Force of habit."
Would you look at that? Misha's giving you another chance at the good ending. You better not fuck t-
"I tried that once, and all it got me was this exact situation."
Did Rin tell her about the rooftop speech?
She's still not buying it.
Misha, being serious? How ridiculous!
Shicchan's got things figured out. Well, except for that whole "treat Misha well" thing
"Now if only I knew what the hell that meant."
In the classroom? Man, this really IS a bad ending.
As does the "you done fucked up" music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JeJjWeYQuc
Don't we all?..............I meant that in a sad way, not a mean way.
It feels like it happened yesterday.
Man, what an oddly quick happy ending. Once you ignore the soul-crushing music, of course.
Wouldn't want to make THAT mistake ag-
Guess he took too long on the pause.
"Remember that time I had dinner with your family?" "You mean the reason I'm breaking up with you?"
"Too many to count........That's not a good thing, is it?"
Or maybe he didn't take a long enough pause.
What are you talking about? You look like a small child, and he acts like one. You're MADE for each
You'd better hope the G-Man does. (Did I honestly just type that?)
"I don't remember saying that first part. I think you can guess why."
Dying relationships are hilarious. Well, to her, at least.
No to both of those statements.
"I settle on her. I've already burned enough bridges as it is."
That's better.....sort of.
"Sorry. Shicchan must've thought I was setting you up for that."
"Oh, it can't be THAT bad." "I pretty much told her to die." ".....OK, so it IS that bad."
You know I'll find a way.
Just replace the "hands on hips" part with the n-word.
"Isn't that how I got into this situation?" "Shut up."
Or maybe you just forgot to set it back.
"I miss Rin and her wildly inappropriate jokes about my penis."
And Misha agrees with me...............What.
Always Be a Complete Dick to Emi? Fucking God.
"Like, emotionally OK, not physically OK. Obviously."
"I mean, yes, she has THAT plan, but I don't think she's expecting me to work some time travel magic
"That's not going to work, Shicchan. You couldn't whisper in life, could you?"
Nice plan. This is exactly what happened in the bad ending.
You could've run in the opposite direction as her, or cut straight across the track, you know.
There's simply no time to enjoy this shoulder touch.
With pink-haired girls, anyway.
She's twitching even more when you use words like "driving" and "driven".
THERE WE GO, BABYFACE! THERE WE GO!
OK, so maybe the tone could use some work, but it's a start.
"Baby, I want to be your Emotional Alarm Clock." ".........." "......Sounded better in my head."
Sounds like a dick move when you put it like that.
"That was the nurse. Are you saying you want to comfort HIM when he's crying in his sleep?" "Yes."
"Or that I can travel through time. But mostly the other thing."
Remember: this is a happy ending. Apparently.
"You've been an insufferable prick the whole time that I've known you."
I hate when you're right.
"On closer inspection, it appears to be an actual knife. I guess she was right."
That explains why it looks like it's 3 in the afternoon.
"Surprisingly few of them with Emi."
"Let this be a symbol of our eternal passion."
What's the worst that could happen? Other than THAT?
"Just when I thought I could get some me time..."
Her dad's death seems like a pretty BIG one to forget.
Glad to see that you've learned so much.
Why do I get the feeling that Meiko doesn't entirely approve of her daughter's relationships?
So she injures herself more than she poops? Why do I feel like the two events are related?
"These plumbing bills will bankrupt us."
"Your puns suck, Mrs. Ibarazaki." "Rin, what are you doing out there?" "Keeping my distance."
"Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea to ask where Emi's dad is."
"I BANISH THEE TO THE FARTHEST OF THE FARPLANES! I WILL BURN YOUR CLAN INTO PATHETIC ASH!"
"She was set on 'The Fastest Thing Alive' until I told her that you can't kill fictional characters.
"And yet she's perfectly willing to let a friend watch her have sex."
("Didn't even bat an eye at that last comment, did you?.....Still better than Jigoro.")
"Whoops. Finger slipped."
"Man, you sure are cavalier about your own daughter's hideous psychological scars."
"But I've got a whole season of Cougartown to catch up on, so I guess she's gonna hafta rely on you.
"Better than Geppetto my pasty white ass."
You know what? I'm gonna let Emi take this one. What have you got for us?
What? That's it? That's not funny. You're terrible at this!
"By Emi. You can imagine how much that hurts."
"...and I still have an opportunity to save face. Then again, I DO have a lot of homework."
You wouldn't like her when she's angry. (I mean, we already know that, but it doesn't hurt to repeat
Or on the verge of tears, for that matter.
"I call the table a she. I'm not sure why."
"I mean, yea, I failed miserably the last time I tried that, but...I'm not sure how to finish that."
It was probably the Geppetto thing.
Oh, right. Remember when THAT was relevant to the plot? Me, neither.
"You're gonna get a lot of use out of that one!"
How does that sound grosser than the sock?
There's a nine hour pause between these two sentences as he irons out all the wrinkles.
"Why did I think this would make me feel better?"
Like when she said that she only 'likes' you just one sentence ago.
Nobody tell her that Emi literally helped him on his feet.
"P.S. On second though, don't write me back. P.P.S. Then again, maybe you should. Don't listen to me
You'd walk into Yamaku with a smile......and end up with Hanako or Rin.
"Don't treat emotional problems with Hot Pockets."
No crying Emi, for whatever reason.
"So she felt completely betrayed. Yea, yea, then what happened?"
"I guess she just needs more time to recover. And I don't think Emi being there makes it easier."
"I found them touching. Kind of ruined my whole day."
"Like her mom's house?" "Exa....*sigh*"
"She's got a point, Hisao."
Surprisingly much darker than when he just told her she could die, and not just because of the black
Once you look past her complete lack of sleep, of course.
"So I'm going to stand outside the boy's locker room and have a good laugh."
"...............How's that less awkward than this?"
"Last time I tell a girl about that letter."
That's probably because you only had two choices, and both of them were terrible.
"Finish that sentence for me."
Note to self: make sure my jokes aren't actually canon.
"But before that happens, we should probably run a couple warm-up laps of everyday annoyances."
I told him that Ivalice vocabulary would come back to bite him in the ass.
"I saw how buffed your arms were after those weeks in the wheelchair."
I guess that makes this a bromance?
"That's right. She has a penis."
I start the game up again for this feature, and this is the second line I encounter.
Most of those guesses involve mole men.
Oh so very fucking much. (Not to spoil anything, of course.)
"Because if there's one place I know Emi won't be, it's the track."
And cut to the very next screenshot...
"Then what are we doing at the track." "Wait, this is the track? Then what are t-" "Bleachers."
Why don't I remember the tongue? And why do I feel so right having said that?
*starts tittering like a madman, knowing where the story ends up*
"Not to mention what Emi must've been going through."
What makes this especially strange is that Emi actually does have a portrait doing just that.
Today? Of all days? I think Misha needs some rest.
At Camp Crystal Lake, judging by the smile.
"I am so scared. Please do not take my life."
Because this isn't the scariest father figure you've seen so far?
"You've been sitting there for ten minutes! Are you going to get on the bus or what?"
She's not the only one who's been forcing it. (I'm talking about myself.)
Even though Meiko said she gets it from her dad.
"And most importantly, why did Emi bring me here?"
"Here he is, Hisao...Don't just stand there. Shake his hand, why don't ya!" "Uh, Emi? He's dead."
"I only dyed my hair pink so I could be with Shicc-" "Wait, aren't we talking about your dead dad?"
So Emi is essentially Sonic the Hedgehog? I guess it makes sense.
"Oh, don't say that. Rin and I thought you were pretty good."
"He's buried in the next plot."
"But I'm two years below the legal limit." "........Aw, fuck."
She knows what jokes I cut out. And you know why I cut them out.
"Mom? Can you drive us back to school? Moooom?"
Heartwarming until you realize the second sentence changes absolutely nothing.
"I love you, Hisao." "Yea, that sure is something."
Emi's still pissed at him for that bus comment.
Only one of them is leaving this roof alive.
At this point, I think he's just fucking with him.
"Seeing my dad's grave just gets me in the mood."
Have I told you what a weird ending this is? What a creepily goddamn strange ending this is?
"I don't know what worries me more: that she used her mouth, too, or that she's so good at it."
I think he got enough of that with the demonic Lilly and the psychotic Shizune.
"I honestly mean that. I'd have thought you were crazy if you told me I'd eventually have sex."
I think we're all confused.
Step one on the road to Harlem: book it to the library.
"It's like there's more vomit each time I come back. How can she puke up so much of it?"
How are you finding out about their night clubs just now?
.....How about we just skip right to the library?
But not without being an asshole to Hisao first!
Don't worry about Yuuko. She gets her revenge by putting them in spine-first.
Step two on the road to Harlem:
Fine. Apologize to her. Just don't spend twelve pictures staring at her scars.
It was love at first sight.
And by "love", I of course mean "stress-induced fear".
"You cut her off at the stairs, you cut her off at the elevator, and I'll go in for the kill."
Yea, she "got this fit". Nothing else could have possibly happened.
"A few" meaning "enough times to draw a lifelike portrait of just her scars".
"Oh, you mean like a rabbit?" "What?" "....Nothing."
HANAKO IS CUTE IN ALL TIMELINES!
"You might want to cut that shit out."
"Because I don't think Hanako's having much fun. Shizune clearly is, but that's to be expected."
Wrong hint, b-wait, didn't I already make this choice?
"Sorry for turning The Life of Pi into The Strife and Cry."
Normally, I'd add "by looking deep into their faces" or some such nonsense.
Wait a minute, this IS the exact same scene. What the hell, game?
This kind of thing's easier when you don't talk to the victim.
Just in time. She almost ended this thread in the first update.
And let's add THAT one to the list...
"I'm sure Shizune and Misha will keep y-"
"I don't understand. I thought I dodged her this time."
"And that's when I notice Emi."
This time, he's added finger motions to the mix.
"There's nothing to worry about. I'm sure you'll get along well with him." [Naw girl. Ice dat fool.]
"I don't think Emi really did too much damage. I'll be fine." ("I was talking about the gloominess."
Like why Hanako gets all the rabbit comparisons when she was the Mad Hatter.
I don't know. Did you see the last thread?
"What's tip number two?" "Heart medication look an awful lot like Skittles."
"To the beating Lilly and Shizune are about to give you?" "Wh-"
Turns out they were BOTH devils.
How bad was Emi that Hisao is now willing to risk another heart attack?
Things got awkward when he mentioned the shed scene.
But not as awkward as this walk home.
Now remember what I said about Lilly and Hanako literally being a choice apart?
Well, this isn't the choice. Picking that other option leads to a dead Babyface.
See, THIS is the choice that separates the two. The outside world offers the bounty of the Sugartits
Which one of you set Kenji off? I need to know who to thank.
"Turns out they're Braille."
I guess this means the rabbit comparisons are here to stay. Great.
Two updates in, and he's already asking her out. This oughta go well.
He's even looking up dating tips! Hisao's going to be tonguing robots in no time flat!
Because what better way for her to get back to reading than concentrate on talking with somebody?
Not that she'll be able to get back to it any sooner.
"Are you half pirate?" ".....Huh?" "Well, I figured with the eye-patch and everything..."
Whatever gave you THAT idea?
You'd better hope I don't use this.
"Then I remember this is Akira we're talking about. I curtail my expectations accordingly."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9a9ldC5uWk (OK, that is WAY too many Fragile Dreams references.)
I'm more surprised by your vocabulary. Did you spend those hospital months just reading thesauruses?
And this scene plays out exactly the same as it does with Lilly. Now you know.
Well, except for Lilly rejecting Hisao's advances. That's all Hanako.
"Now I HAVE to worry about her."
The strong stench of soba will cover the smell.
"Then I see Hanako, and am reminded that the bathroom is the NEXT door.
"Eh, we'll come up with a title for this scene later." - Four Leaf Studios, probably.
And when she looks like that, people are inspired to keep those questions to themselves.
You're not making my alcoholism jokes any easier, Hanako.
He says this out loud, and Hanako remains silent for twelve more updates.
That's going to change very soon.
God, not two updates in, and already, we're forgetting that Hanako exists.
"It's right next to the janitor's closet?" "....Maybe I don't."
Yamaku's more into blunt threats.
They're not even playing chess; they're just sending the pawns to die and laughing about it.
Fuck you, Hisao. Fuck you.
Where was this side when she was fighting Shizune? They could've really bonded over knife chess.
Kind of an odd thing to say when you won the previous game.
"Did you use our special tea leaves?" "You know I did." "Special leaves? Can I have some?"
"But blood makes Hanako queasy, so we're going to the Shanghai instead."
No particular reason. He just wants to fuck with them.
That's just the regular greeting.
"Why did Hanako swipe my glasses?"
He means Yuuko's too nervous to card any of them.
Smart money's on Miki. Shizune looked pretty cut up.
What did he say? Does it really matter?
HANAKO IS CUTE IN ALL TIMELINES.
As she slowly (and I DO mean slowly) jumbles into place.
"....Giovanni. Those are all the gym masters from Pokemon Red and Blue."
"Tell Shizune that I'm gonna make it." "Can do, Hicchan~!"
FLASH BANG! HIT THE FUCKING DECK!
"Hey, Lilly! You've gotta se-"
Looks like Yuuko bailed him out.
My jokes being most of them.
Or maybe Yamaku just really likes festivals. That's always a possibility.
"You just invited Lilly to watch the fireworks. It's no big deal." "Exactly. It could've been worse.
"OH GOD, THAT BURNS!..........Aw, he-"
In case the Metal Gear Solid jokes felt out of place.
"The electrical shock causes me to leap out of my bed and onto the floor. You win this round, alarm.
What a weird way to describe an ordinary festival. Then again, I've said that about a lot.
"Shizune was deaf. She couldn't laugh in the first place."
[Silly mortal. Did you think death could kill something like me?]
She's filling in for Kenji, who has spent the past few days strumming it to the man.
"The smell all but confirms it, anyway."
He's talking about Mutou, who has taken to writing "love is a lie" repeatedly on the chalkboard.
OK, so Hanako's now rubbing off on Hisao. This is going to be the most awkward screenshot thread.
Or maybe it won't be. Hanako's existence is just that funny.
"Good luck with Hanako, Hicchan!" "Wow, I'm honored. Shizune really said that?" "........I......"
"WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!? WAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA~!"
He means "physically close". As in "standing next to him"; not the other thing.
"Everybody is going to die eventually......Just thought I'd let you know that."
The blindness? The booze? The brownies?...........The booty?
No surprise that Hanako's first order of business is to book it straight to the beer corner.
"I still have no idea what Hanako's cooking."
It's just outside a high school. That's just smart business planning.
Wait, what!? His thought processes go from "funny items" to "disabled kids?"
And then straight to Hanako. Why do I feel like this is going to end with his opinion on lava lamps?
Just look at how elated she is.
And why Mixed Spice? Did they not stock the name brand stuff, or is Hanako unable to afford it?
"Put that Lilly girl in her bitch place."
"WHY DO YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE THIS?"
Drinking alone? Man, Hanako really IS rubbing off on him.
She'd have run four laps while you watched from the bleachers.
Yes, that's exactly what the nurse meant when he told you to get more exercise.
"I'm briefly attracted until her musk wafts its way into my nostrils. Now I'm madly in love with her
I think she's just panting.
"Hanako wants to give me a whiff of her mixed spice."
("Neither do you.") "What?" "Nothing."
"Hanako, you've adjusted that one fork about thirty times, now. I think it's fine." "Right......"
Just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?
They're gonna walk to class in wet, ricey clothes, aren't they?
Where he got the bread products, I have no goddamn clue.
So I guess we know how Lilly eats her food: paradoxically.
"Lilly? Are you...crying?" "No, it's fine....I ju.....BATHROOM! I have to go to the bathroom!"
"When else am I going to enjoy the sky like this?"
"Fine. We'll go make sure Lilly isn't drowning herself in the toilet. You owe me, though."
Your light saber sounds suck, Misha.
("Yea, thanks for the advice. Just how long have you been going here, again? Dick.")
Oh my god, he's strung out of his mind.
"You ditch that Hanako girl and hook up with me!"
[You can have her. I don't like sloppy seconds.]
"Dick." "Bitch." "Asshole." "Twat." "EMO." "COW." "BIGOT!" "CABBAGE FARM!" "EUNUCH!" "CUCKOLD!"
Hot three way shoulder action.
[You want to tell that Hanako girl to keep it down? Shouting in class. Honestly. So distracting.]
Damn, I almost forgot about this choice. So, what's it going to be?
I'm going with this one first because the flowchart I'm citing calls this choice "Fuck the council."
That other time being tomorrow's update.
[SHE was going to spend the budget on cakes.]
"I....don't think we have any books on cupcakes."
"Nothing is fiction........Nothing is fiction. NOTHING IS FICTION!"
Yea, I don't think Hanako needed to know about....that. Yuuko's getting a good laugh out of it.
"I don't even know how it happened! I was just trying to zip up his fly for him, and it just..."
("I've never seen a guy struggle so much with the alphabet.")
You know. For the kinds of kids who visit a school for disabled students so they can study Yu-Gi-Oh.
Yea, that black eye and bruised heart would've been HILARIOUS with anybody else.
Congenital heart condition, extensive burn wounds, same thing, right?
There are better places to look for relationship advice, Babyface.
Notice how he didn't say anything about the actual design of the roller coasters.
I thought we were past this.
Go for it. There's no way she'd react adversely, right?
"I can't name many people who bond over confusing statements and jabs at my genitals."
"There's no way I'll raise a kid on THIS budget!"
Hanako's not in much of a position to answer. That painting is still creeping the shit out of her.
Have nothing to do with this picture of a fucking bed.
Have nothing to do with this picture of a fucking bed.
"But it seems Flarnax and his merry band of mathematicians have beaten me here. AGAIN."
I don't think he's talking about Lilly. I think his mind is just leaping to the most random thing.
"Or are you trying to get into her pants?"
"She knows where to get the primo shit?" "Seems we have the same reason."
"I keep telling Hanako not to take fashion tips from horror films, but she just won't listen to me."
Canon. This is canon. Fire the canon cannon to signal how canon this is.
Did you have to phrase it like THAT? You can't wash out shame, no matter how much I've tried.
"Last time I use a battery-operated alarm clock."
Oh, there's no joke for this screenshot. Sometimes, you just have to give credit where credit's due.
And sometimes, you have to open the eyes of the blind so you can show them the error of their ways.
Uh, Lilly? This is Hanako's route. We did your route first, remember?
And here we see Lilly performing what we call a "booty call".
"Hanako told me that you have trouble with the maths."
That's the exact opposite of breaking the rules.
Where the hell has Kenji been this route? Hisao mentioned him earlier in class, but so far, nothing.
("His rhymes suck, Hanako.") ("I know, right?")
"The sound, anyway. The content of her voice puts me on edge."
"In fact, I don't think it's even a joke. You just looked in her direction and started laughing."
That's weird. I thought Shizune wasn't a lesbian.
Sometimes, it's hard to tell where Shizune ends and Misha begins.
"Most organizations don't have this much blood just lying around."
They'd just end up leaving again upon seeing Misha eat most of it.
Goddamn it. I discover the PERFECT nickname for Misha, and it's four routes in.
Let's see what happens if Hisao tells Hanako she can eat a dick.
It puts undue stress on her bladder. Somehow.
And we get hot shoulder action, too? Why is Hisao even with Harlem in the first place?
"This finger's going places."
"Man, Shizune's really into erotic fan fiction. Erotic slasher fan fiction, from the looks of it."
Bet you wish that happened more often. By that, of course, I mean "at all".
"That's it? I was expecting a little more, Hicchan. Oh, is it hiding? Hey, there, little buddy."
So......we ready for the bad ending?
"Shizune could still be with us." "Good point."
"I don't know if it's the medication or if it just knows better, but....it just isn't happening."
"I mean, when you ignore what Shicchan said about the electrical outlets."
That's how you know it's working.
"Could you find some other time to ask me that? Like when I'm not inside you?"
She's only asking because she slept through the fireworks at the festival.
"And that smell, Hicchan." "Worse than yours." "........I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that
SHIP IT. FUCKING SHIP IT.
"She didn't react well when the teacher told her, 'You can't take justice into your own hands.'"
I think the word you want is "sympathetic".
You say with the most judgmental goddamn look you can muster.
Remember when the school filled out those career surveys back in Emi's route? Misha put her name.
"Well, the first time that hasn't ended with daddy issues. But there WERE those tea parties with..."
I think I've seen that on Pornhub.
Personally, I'd have gone with "goth".
"The bruises on her face tell me that she has indeed tripped several times on her way to this room."
I can think of a million different ways this comparison will bite Hisao in the ass.
"Somehow, Misha's is better."
"You know what Lilly's titties remind me of? Her blindness."
TWO ENTER THE RING, ONLY ONE LEAVES. WHO WILL BE CROWNED THE YAMAKING? FIND OUT TONIGHT!
She then passes out cold, learning the hard way that she drank from Hanako's cup.
HANAKO IS CUTE IN ALL TIMELINES.
("Just wish you wouldn't drink from the pot.")
Interests like reading and very awkward silences.
But not for a couple more acts.
"Always?" "What did I just say!? What did I JUST say!?"
In the most awkward, stilted manner possible.
"I'm going to have such a headache tomorrow morning. Hanako, you should consider using less 'cream'.
"I mean, I could stand to be a little more tired, but I've got a pretty good buzz going."
("You, too, huh? And here I thought I'd just enjoy a cup of tea.")
He says, never having won a game of Risk in his life.
"Where do you think you're going? I told you that an army can't stop me." "........I......I, uh...."
Lilly seemed to like it. She's kind of a jerk like that.
Yea, THAT'S going to make her feel less nervous.
"...........Hanako?........Hanak-" "Yea, we're friends, or whatever."
"I've been studying my chess game, Hisao. I will raid your castle and slaughter every citizen."
"I am going to salt the goddamn Earth."
When did Hanako and Shizune switch places? I'd like to be prepared for any potential squid accidents
"I asked you how your day was. Are you saying it was like a baby?.....You're alright."
"And then I remember what happened the last time Kenji and Lilly mixed."
"So you've figured out that I'm part snake. Wonderful."
It's amazing how little I have to modify this image to make it applicable to any Internet discussion
Hisaossin's Creed: Brotherhood.......PHOTOSHOP AWAY!
"I hope you've learned why having sex with your cousin in the back of my uncle's hatchback is bad."
Apparently, he takes pride in his horrible, horrible mistakes. Apparently.
"Social contact? Man, fuck that. There's a toilet stall with my name on it."
You'd be surprised. Lilly has some rather...."informed" opinions about the lizard people.
Makes her initial decision to attend class in the first place an odd one indeed.
What better note to end this update on than "Hanako's an animal"? Pretty much any other note.
.....Was Kenji having sex with Misha?
Because most people are huge assholes with no respect for personal boundaries.
Step one in Hanako's plan to conquer the globe: leave class a little early each day.
I bet you're not saying that when you see the nurse.
Times like what? I seem to have missed that part.
"How so?" "Well, how can two prim, proper girls like you have access to so many illegal substances?"
She still thinks men pee out their butts.
Hopefully, without the "parent talking down to a child" tone in this screenshot.
Why do I feel like we're going to catch sight of Lilly raping a mannequin at some point?
She thinks he means "for classes"; he actually means "Storage Wars".
"I still haven't fully recovered from their last fight."
I think the easier explanation is that they're rival gang leaders. As always.
I don't remember harlequin romance having so many secret societies.
50 Shades of Kenji. You know you want it.
"No, Daddy, just listen. It's funny because the moose h-" "You have already disappointed me, son."
"Horton Hears a Who, Hop on Pop, Pet the Kitty....I'm gonna pet the HELL out of that kitty."
SOMEBODY FUCKING MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
"Hanako, enjoying herself? WHAT SORCERY IS THIS!?"
"How so? It's a non-fiction book."
........This one can be left unphotoshopped.
("Dontlookathispenisdontlookathispenisdontlookathispenis...")
("So you're going to make things awkward, huh? Fine. Two can play that game.")
R-oh, no. There's sad music playing. This can't possibly be any good.
Go ahead. I think we're all as comfortable as we're going to be for this one.
Somehow, her drawings of the incident survived well enough. *awkward laughter*
.............................
.........................
("Interrupting my reading so you could talk down to me.") "What was that?"
And how it makes him look like a wrinkled tomato. Somehow.
"I think 'tragic house fire' has me beat, though. Just.....damn...."
Now seems like a good time to kiss her, right? I mean, if Hisao's time with Emi taught him anything.
"I'm not a fan of cliches, you see."
He looks like a fucking psychopath.
"Have you checked your mail?" "Huh? Why?" ".........Just a feeling."
I'm kind of hoping the next Act begins with that damn letter.
"Thankfully, my time at Yamaku has introduced me to much more forgiving smells."
Probably a different burn, though.
Sorry, guys. Looks like I'm gonna have to end on the saddest note possible.
She's not even playing chess. She's just that out of it.
"It's getting a little exhausting, constantly reminding her that you can't just knock the King over.
"How's my Aussie accent, Deb?"
"I think your Jersey accent could use a little more work." "Aw, piss."
"Rin finding out about me and Hanako? That, I can understand. Sort of. But Rin telling Emi?"
("Oh, shit. Did he hear us?") ("There's no time. Let's book it to the Shanghai.")
Or maybe he will. At least Hanako's taking it well.
("What the fuck is this girl trying to ask me?")
"Have you ever tried saying no to Shizune?" "..........." "Then you understand how hard it is."
That explains what happened in the Lilly thread: she just thought Shizune was there.
"That sumbitch looked at me cross ways! I'm not letting her leave the parking lot in one piece!"
Clearly, this isn't the first parking lot fight she's had to deal with.
"Yea, it was a little....worrying when Hanako punched that wall out of nowhere."
This annoys Lilly to no end.
"I....uh....bathroom! I have to bathroom! (Dontletherseeyoucrydontletherseeyoucry....)"
Oh, nevermind. It's just Hanako's birthday. For a second, there, I thought we were in for sadness.
Don't open that Pandora's box, Babyface. No good can come of it.
Fuck the Photoshop. I now expect an entire MMD music video dedicated to Hanako. IT BETTER BE CUTE.
"How many times has Lilly heard Hanako sing 'Jersey Girls' in a Jersey accent?"
Her ringtone? An actual phone ringing. That's not even the default ringtone.
You might want to specify that you're talking about Lilly and not Hanako.
Hisao's exit strategy: fake narcolepsy.
"Let's just say I know my way around a fire hydrant."
"I keep telling you that Yamaku isn't equipped to handle radiation poisoning."
"Hey, there, Hanako. Guess who's walking you home tonight?" "Aw, piss."
("I thought that was the idea.")
You've fallen asleep in front of her and helped her buy weed. Girl must be madly in love with you.
"Well, if SHE's not going to it eat..."
"What do you mean?" "Well, you just fell asleep in front of me for no discernible reason."
The moral of this......screenshot? Do NOT underestimate Harlem.
Look at that! He's learning!
But Hanako's still far ahead of him. This is despite her always leaving class early.
........This better be the last time I see this screenshot.
("Did......did he just say there's something wrong with me?")
"I can smell her breath from right here."
And so we begin the next day with tongue twisters....at the track, for some reason.
And so we finally meet Shalashaska.
First picture, and I'm already being undermined. Isn't life grand?
"Man, it's a real bloodbath down there. I think I saw somebody's ear fly into a nearby tree branch."
Her very clearly different art style says that ain't happening.
"......My name's Miki nice to meet you."
Not that Emi is one of them.
"Wouldn't think she's capable of breaking a guy's arm, would you?"
"Miki? You said that to ME." "Yea, I know."
Keep in mind that this happens in Hanako's route.
"Are you saying we should hang out more?"
"She's like my old computer: just shuts down whenever I so much as think about doing something."
"I'd just prefer to go to class one day and not feel like I'm going to die."
How do you think she lost her hand? (Hell if I know. There's no Miki route to speak of.)
OK, so Miki's clearly a historical revisionist.
"She had to squint to see it. I don't think denying it will do me much good."
"I don't need another handless tomboy telling the school about my medical problems."
Wait, is Hanako cute or is Hisao's penis? I am so very confused.
This is so very, very worrying.
VERY VERY worrying. Have you learned NOTHING from Emi's route?
Certainly explains why she joined track.
("I think I liked him better when he was staring at my hand.")
"Nonsense! Who says you CAN'T cook frozen pizza in a waffle iron?"
Why can't we be with Miki again?
Maybe her awkward similes have something to do with it.
"Like me?" "Exactly, like y-aw, hell."
Now if only we could get on a FUCKING MIKI ROUTE ALREADY.
"My body is no more, but I have become like a god."
"Dancing upon the wind, I can see all within the mortal realm. I think I've spotted the perfect gift
What sandals? I see no sandals. All I see are LIES.
Getting better acquainted.
"I thought she and I were......were...."
Nevermind. Hanako doesn't have a boyfriend; just psychological issues.
How many times has Hisao been awkward in this one update? I feel like it's the right amount.
I thought I told you that you're not missing out on much.
OK, now you're just fucking with her.
"Finally! I can end it all! Come, Death! Wrap me in your sweet embrace!"
The hot dog stands, the homeless people, the pungent smell of urine...
And that's where our update ends: with Hisao festering in sadness, trying in vain not to cry.
Hanako at karaoke? Hanakaraoke? Oh, I fucking wish I could have been there for THAT.
Actually, I think she does it for the open bar.
I guess buying her a mirror is out of the question, then.
I know this is referring to the housefire, but I like to imagine this is referring to every birthday
When Hanako says, "Imma fuck you up", she MEANS it.
"Hisao, I don't think these will make good birthday presents."
You're lucky she's blind and can't know that you chose that food based off her color.
"How could I forget? Hanako likes meringues, not pies." ".....I guess that makes sense, too."
"See, Hisao? Still blind."
".......Hisao? Are you still there?..........I can hear you breathing. Is something wrong?...Hisao?"
".............Hisao?...........You know, if there's something wrong, you can always tell me."
Yea, THAT'LL make things more comfortable for him.
"With the job market the way it is, it's hard to plan for much of anything. Plus the time travel."
Oh, right. Remember Hanako? God, even in her own route, people keep forgetting about her.
"There's a strange road block, a pillar of smoke and flame in th....maybe we should enter a shop."
You know, when she wasn't running out of the room, bursting into tears.
"..........That's exactly what you got her, isn't it?" "Will a couple of 5000 yen notes do the job?"
"Unfortunately, it worked."
It will stare in unending judgment, though. Cold, unfeeling, unspeaking judgment.
At Emi's house, for some unknown reason.
"What are you talking about? I don't remember being here before." "Oh, right. I'm with Hanako now."
The same drink that Shizune got Misha way back. Think about what that means for this friendship.
That ass up, girlfriend. (God, I've always wanted to say that.)
"She's just so well-mannered and understanding and sociable and attractive. And then there's Hanako.
REALLY taking after Hanako, aren't you?
In the Hanako route? Get out of here!
Not that he figured that out himself. He barely got past that E before Lilly mercifully cut him off.
Just to reiterate: Iwanako never gets a portrait, but Miki and Beardsly over here have a wide range.
"I settle on the one whose eyes don't follow me across the room."
By that, I mean he picks the one that looks like Lilly.
Not that either of them know what her room looks like.
"Pilfered it off a soldier myself during the War."
$200? For a fucking doll? There'd better be cocaine jammed up its rectum at those prices.
Any reason Lilly's going medieval on us so suddenly?.......She found the coke, didn't she?
Look at that: somebody remembered that she exists.
I only understood about half those words, and from the looks of it, Hanako did, too.
Oh, shit. I just remembered what scene this is. It's.....not going to be pretty.
I don't think Misha's handwriting is going to be of any help for what comes up. Just a feeling.
Never mind, it's just Hanako. And shoulder touches, too. But mostly Hanako.
"That's because Hanako doesn't brandish a knife while we're playing chess......anymore."
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
"Why is he working with those girls? I mean, one or two of them, I can understand, but all three!?"
Don't you fucking do it, Misha.
NNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. (I probably shouldn't write these updates on the toilet.)
I was with you until the "calm down" part. Still dealing with those emotions.
That's going to change pretty fucking fast.
"Not even close." "Is this really the place to talk about that? I mean, she's sitting right there."
She's referring to the music. It.....isn't good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JeJjWeYQuc
Was Misha going to punch the answer out of Hanako? I'd expect that kind of thing out of Shizune.
[STOP BEING SO GODDAMN DEPRESSED ALREADY.] ".......Shicchan wishes you feel better soon, Hanako."
It makes all of us feel worse.
("Now, of all times? Can't he just leave me alone?")
And look at how many friends she has.
That look........it's................uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh.............
..........................
.............................Uh.......W......what's Rin doing at a time like this?
Well, this is a complete trainwreck.
Man, Misha's kind of sucked throughout this update, hasn't she?
Not that she's alone in her suck.
Neither Photobombs nor shoulder touches can make this scene any less tense.
Like, literally shaking. It's........painful.
"Oh~ oh~ oh~! What should I do~?" "YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT."
What did I say? What did I JUST say?!
I know you're trying, Shizune, but it just isn't working.
"The 'judgmental glare' thing, not the 'comforting somebody when they're not feeling well' thing."
So we've changed from Caged Heart to Painful History. That's.....better?
You MIGHT want to remember this.
"Plus I don't think you give somebody a lollipop after they've witnessed an emotional breakdown."
I do. I think we've seen enough of Hanako for one update. In fact, why don't we end things here?
That's because they've spent all their time GLARING AT MISHA.
Is Mutou trying to sell drugs to Babyface? After what happened yesterday? Yea, why not?
"To keep monsters like almost all my classmates from planning the downfall of human civilization?"
I'd ask Mutou if he remembers what I said about using your own supply, but really, we know.
You mean you had the option to make this school look like Aperture High, and you chose against it!?
Keep in mind that he's been working here a while.
"I was for a while, but after being sucked into a time vortex, I'm not really feeling it." "...Yes."
You've made a lot of progress in those five months. You have advanced from Fish Face to Babyface.
GEE, I WONDER WHY HE'D DO THAT.
"After a while, you just stop caring. At all."
All the other students have to keep their heads up. And on everybody else's exams.
Shizune/Hanako?...............................I'd ship it.
A giant splash of text? Oh, shit. This can't end well.
"This tea is delicious, Hanako. Oh that reminds me: what was your family like before they all died?"
I'm more startled by the fact that he's using Lilly's ringtone. Is Japan just ringtone lazy?
Even through the phone, you can see her eyes darting every which way.
That bad news is about her going away to Scotland. Man, the pacing between these routes is weird.
"Would you mind explaining to me why you looted Hanako's belongings after what happened today?"
"Wait a second, why was everybody kung fu fighting?" "I told you, I'm having trouble remembering it.
It's because she knows Shizune can't.
You know, that seems like a PRETTY BIG DETAIL to keep from somebody. Just saying.
Lilly, this is no time for jokes about her overhearing sex.
"We both know this is a difficult situa.....actually, I think she farted."
Something that only happens in three of these routes, now that I think about it.
"Plus I'm not sure that's the best way to move on from what's happened today."
"You didn't ask the doctors to take it in?" "...........No........I didn't........."
Dying? Death? Things are finally looking up.
OK, so maybe I was off-base on the Solid Snake comparison. Raiden seems a bit closer.
"Uh, Lilly? She's crying." "Oh.....OH.....sorry about...."
What's weirder: the psychopathic look with which he greets her, or awkwardly hiding it soon after?
"I decide to hold it in, for her sake. It may be hard, but I'd...do anything....to see.....*THUD*"
Hisao's reaction to Lilly:
I can only imagine what she's feeling.
"Do you even HEAR the music? Does it SOUND like 'going away' music?" "..........What music?"
("Why did he say it like that at the end?......Oh, god, is he hitting on me?")
That blood slowly dripping out of Hanako's hands says otherwise.
"......................I'd love it."
Now why does THIS feel familiar?
"So Hanako's recovering from a severe panic attack, and you're worried about my acne?"
We've established that Hanako's alive. No need for this gritty crime drama filter....yet.
Not that this stops him from doing so. Ever.
It's only now that he notices he's lost 10% of all the blood in his body.
OK, how did Misha find out that I've been "talking" with Hisao?
Not that I'm a good listener.
"Well, that explains the limp." "Actually, that was Shicchan."
He could do it himself, but he's still pissed at her for being so hard on Hanako.
Which is enough to make Shizune angrier, which is enough to make Hisao chuckle more, which is...
"Yea, that sounds nice...........Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something?"
"Oh, yea, that. Where am I going to find two cute girls?"
Misha then books it to the roof to cry off that cold rejection.
"I'll leave you to your mistakes." "And I'll leave you to yours."
Fucking asshole never keeps that promise.
Hey, YOU want to make a severe emotional breakdown funny? Be my fucking guest.
I don't think smiles are much better.
Oh, you KNOW I'm going to find out what expression that is.
Should I keep a count on how many times Hisao has buried his nose into a girl's shampooed hair?
("My hair is not a hanky.")
"So.......I didn't know Harlem smelled like bananas." "..........What?"
I THOUGHT I PUT THIS BEHIND ME.
Oh, like I'M supposed to have a clue?
Aroused by the scent of cheap shampoo?.........A man can hope, can't he?
"I slowly realize that I only have so many fingers to spare."
Now why does THIS feel familiar?...........Don't expect a follow-up picture. I don't want to spoil.
Maybe you shouldn't have cut your English class to set it up.
I'm not sure you guys understand this....but Hanako's cute. In all timelines, too.
"Give me a second! Just have to put my legs on!"
She's been spending too much time with Kenji. 'Nuff said.
Normally, she'd just drink straight from the whiskey bottle, but with Hisao here...
Can't you let a girl enjoy her birthday party?
MY JOKES ARE CANON. I AM FOREVER GENIUS.
"It also explains the bleach and the mop just off in the corner."
Nice of the game to censor Hanako's raging alcoholism from us.
"I don't want to chase a naked Hanako through the school grounds, again."
Good thing, too. Hanako's only leaving you two a little.
"Son, when I saw you crying over that dull joke you told me, I realized that you're a man. Drink up.
Let's make this a birthday to remember.............You know what I mean.
"Is he going to have another heart attack? Man, what a buzzkill."
"YOUR SOFT, WARM INNARDS WOULD MAKE THE PERFECT VESSEL FOR MY DEMONIC LEGIONS."
Raiden, what are YOU doing here? You're a few updates behind. And when did you get OctoCamo?
In Hanako's thread, Hisao spends way too much time looking at people. What strange progress.
Hanako's height+Hanako's breasts=androgyny. Happy birthday, Harlem!
"That was quick. Are you sure she's drunk, Hisao?" "Give it time. I'm getting there."
What he's leaving out is that Akira brought two extra bottles, knowing what would happen.
"The less vomit I have to mop up, the better."
Quite the family resemblance.
"Well, you do when I can make out what you're saying." "Shaddup. I'm.....I'm fine. Lookat dis shit!"
"Hanako bashes her head against Lilly's mattress and plummets to the floor, spilling wine everywhere
"Oh, that reminds me: I got you a cake, Hanako. I hope you like it."
Apparently, this warrants happy music. Apparently.
Harlem Ikezawa: Master of the Backhanded Compliment. (And the backhand, but that's another story.)
Remember that chess set Hisao bought her? Turns out it doubles as a mouse trap for intellectual mice
"Somebody remind me why this warrants happy music."
I spent the next twelve minutes imagining Hanako speaking like a blaxploitation film.
This was my reaction. It was THAT amazing.
Yea, that sums up her character pretty well.
She'd put a bottle to his neck if any of them were empty.
Hanako's just now remembering that damn cake.
"Apparently, Hisao loves my tits." ".......Well, I think they're gorgeous." "........OK......."
I'm not sure how well that's going to work when she doesn't remember a thing about tonight.
"...I usually don't d...drink thi....*thud*...."
"I don't feel a pulse. Akira, call 911. Hisao, start doing chest compressions."
"No errant penises, no knives in my shoulder, just good friends and good booze."
This isn't the first time Hanako's puked her guts out for more booze.
I think this the only time I've ever wanted Akira hitting on Lilly.
"Hey, Lilly. Lilly. Lilly. Lilly. Lilly......When did you get so tiny?"
Hanako takes some real pride in her daily exercise regimen, but only because it lets her get drunker
"Fuggin' ice queen. Whazza matter with ya? Can't you let a gi-*PUKE*"
God, that girl can fucking BELCH. (Which, apparently, gets Akira in the mood. Have fun sleeping!)
I've decided against it. I think the results speak for themselves.
"Datta girl. Your sister....she's been hitting on me, girl. Did I tellya that, girl?"
I have absolutely no clue what Lilly's reasoning is.
"I'm just helping you to your room, Hanako. I don't know what you want us to do with this doll."
"I keep telling you, I'm not going to have sex with you." "Come oooooon. It.....ll be fine." "NO!"
Oh. I get it. I just don't know if Hanako's going to be safe, too.
She'd open it herself, but she's not good with locks when she's drunk.
"D-*hurls huge chunks everywhere*" "......Is that a yes?"
So it's like that hug with Lilly, but with a brief chance at sex?.....Sure. Why not.
"Really......really......really......REALLY......REALLY wrong."
Oh, dear god. She forgot where she is.
"Well, at least she smells better."
"Wh....what's Lilly? Ish she one of thozhe he-shemalej?" "You know, she might be."
It's almost like she's under the influence of something.
Drunk shoulder touches. I like it.
"Are you shpeaking in Britishsh now? How.....how much didJUU drink, Hishaho?"
"Like convince Akira to get something non-alcoholic."
I guess it's time to break out the Misha heads.
"Thanks for that, AKIRA."
"You DID make sure she was on her back, right?" ".......Could you give me a second?"
"A second's all I need." (And all the time this is up for.)
"I rejected Akira's advances, didn't I?" "Fair point."
Damn it, Babyface, you're in Harlem, now. It isn't happening.
Oh. That. Well, that's.....I'm kind of wishing you DID ask Lilly out.
Several minutes after the actual party ended, for some reason.
("Why does that not surprise me?")
..............................
He's got a point. I imagine it would be harder with Hanako if he still had to deal with Iwanako.
Pretty much what I've been doing for the past couple of screenshots.
Man, even in her own thread, Hanako's only a minor character.
Don't do it, Hisao. You've been down that road before, and it only leads to heart attacks.
"Well, throwing up on either of us, anyway. I feel like Akira's better equipped to handle vomit."
The X makes it sound cool.
As you can very clearly see.
"How do you even tell time with something like this? I guess it works like a sundial, but I sti-"
This isn't relevant to anything; he just thought this would be an interesting factoid to share.
Who are they, exactly?........WHO ARE THEY!?
"No wonder Hanako cuts class so much."
We already know why you had sex with Misha. It's not that hard to figure out.
Because if there's one character in this game who's known for blurting things out, it's Hanako.
"That's it? An Alka-Seltzer and a fifth of vodka?"
Would it surprise anyone?
"Wait, it was vertical. That.....changes things."
That's certainly better than her Australian.
[Ah didne see ye in class yesterday. Whaur ye bin, lassie? There's sae much I wanted tae teel ye.]
Because this is Shizune we're talking about?
['main 'en, lassie, shaur th' deets wi' me. I've jist got tae ken.]
"Well, Hanako, it was fun while it lasted. Want to share one last drink together?"
"CAN DO, HICCHAN~!" "*groan*"
[Givin' me th' braw shoolder, 'en? Braw. That's th' lest time Ah acknowledge yer existence.]
"It's like you weren't even here, Hicchan~!" "*louder groan*"
Well, he WAS in contact with Misha yesterday, so he's technically not lying.
[Snitches get stitches. Snitches get stitches.]
Or maybe she's taken a liking to psychological torture. A girl's gotta broaden her horizons.
Anything to take your mind off the sound of Misha.
("He's reading my dialogue, isn't he?")
"It's Hanako Ikezawa. Could you not slur the two together?"
He has to be referring to that bench, because otherwise, this makes no goddamn sense.
Plus he'd look pretty dorky in all the specially drawn scenes.
So does that mean Iwanako and Misha are related?......I've.....That's quite the disturbing thought.
This is his way of saying he's going to fuck with her.
"I think I might have found the right words in one of your thesauruses."
Nobody tell her he spent the last couple of days piss drunk.
I love how the game said her handwriting is pink, but the letter appears in dull blue text.
Despite pink text very clearly being an option. Continuity, folks!
Well, enough of that shit. Back to the story.
So Hanako, Yuuko, and Misha all sound very similar, with Misha herself sounding similar to Akira.
"I mean, we all make mistakes every now and then. Like dating me."
"We had to have sex in two different rooms. And then he'd yell at me for cheating on him."
Not because he's an asshole; he just never learned how to write.
"Otherwise, I'd be in those pants faster than you can say 'anti-depressant'."
"Probably....probably shouldn't have said that last part.......You still wanna try?"
A candy that tastes like smog and regret.
"♪Do do do do doooooo yoooooooouuuuu in the buuuuuutt♪."
That outfit being one of them. (Please tell me Akira doesn't use that line.)
"I mean, honestly. THAT shirt with THOSE shoes? What was she thinking?"
"Have you tried asking Akira?" "♪All uuuuuuuuup in that buuuuuuuutt....♪"
Nothing suspicious about THAT, right?
Again, we see the Satou family resemblance. Hanako's tuning it out, at this point.
"Where Hanako fits into this, I don't know."
"Where's that smooth jazz coming from?"
"Seeing my former girlfriend violently convulse before my eyes is simply amusing."
Given what he's been through, it's only logical not to expect something logical.
Yea, THAT'S what people are looking at: the perfectly average high school guy.
"She's talking about alcohol, right?" "I honestly can't tell anymore."
Hanako very clearly keeping an eye on them.
It's a total sausage fest for men beyond their prime.
Hanako proceeds to slap a credit card down and wrap her lips around the tap.
"I'll take the drink that isn't a pun."
One glass in, and Akira's already shitfaced. Friggin' lightweight.
Seriously?.....Really?.....Just......*sigh*.....
"Yo, Shorties. Mind leaving a lady to her business?"
"Hisao, it's fine. We can play the game like it is." "Of course......I really should doub-" "HISAO!"
("Mabye some light conversation will lighten the m-")
"I have no idea what he's trying to communicate."
I'm more curious about her genitalia........There was no right way for that to come out, was there?
The Jack Skellington technique. I'm all too familiar with it.
She's gonna fuck that ball up.
You're damn right it does.
I take it she did not fuck the ball up.
I'm trying to come up with a joke here, but every time I do, I imagine a six year old Hanako.
"...they wouldn't buy food that week." "For you? Or for anybody at all?"
That frown can't possibly mean anything good.
For Hisao, of course. For us, it's quite good.
But not for Lilly. Life is ambiguous like that.
You mean there was an orphanage Shizune and an orphanage Miki and an orphanage Haru-he?
"I realized that I had a special power nobody else possessed."
Yea, that sure is.....something.
So she's very clearly uncomfortable with the situation. What a way to start an update!
Not that you've told her much about your past other than "some girl gave me a heart attack".
"So how old were you when you first came to Yamaku?" "Twenty four."
("Yea, I'm WAY more comfortable now.")
("Wait a minute, that wasn't the point I wanted to make. Just what did he think that was all about?"
Doesn't feel so good the other way around, does it?
Take the hint. And the typo, while you're at it.
"Like, literally drag them away. I had no idea you could get so drunk on orange juice."
As always, hooray for heartwarming moments.
"I mean, I still.......I......lo...." "Hisao? Are you OK?"
"You know what Hanako enjoying herself reminds me of? Hanako's painful childhood experiences."
The grey text is telling me I had a joke for this, but that damn typo is making me forget.
Take a fucking guess why.
Who told Hanako about the Shoulder Touch Drinking Game?
"Because I wouldn't. You could die in a bus crash, you know." ".........I'll keep that in mind."
"H...Hisao? I'm over here." "Don't remind me."
In this thread? He probably does.
You do realize how time works, right? Time zones don't erase time itself.
Oh, right. Remember Hanako?
"Oh, you mean Kenji?" "........Why not."
That's the third effing shoulder touch this update. This had better pay off.
"Why did I touch Hanako's shoulder? That's only going to make things more difficult with the gate."
"I was thinki-" "It's too early to go back to the club." "........How about YOU decide?"
I think this is the first choice in the game without any accompanying dialogue. How to proceed?
With the infinitely more interesting option, of course!
The only remotely dark thing in this screenshot is standing right in front of you.
I'd ask why you didn't think to take her to the Shanghai, but I think we all know why. (Errant rhyme
"Hey, Hanako! Think fast! *shoves her into traffic*"
What this screenshot doesn't convey is Hanako's icy, hate-filled glare.
Not that Hanako's any different. *cough* Habitual drinker *cough hack*
Well, enough of that plot point. Time to reunite with minor characters.
Don't you fucking test me.
("It looks like a cherry resting on a veiny coin purse.")
"Wait, we're talking about the shop, right?" "........" ".....Let's just go in, already."
A day in the life of Hisao Nakai.
When you're as old as Shopkeep, the only real fun left is in killing young love.
Guess who's not surviving this update?
I don't think mimicking her body language will make her more comfortable.
Knowing where this story goes, let's just hope he stays at "awkward look".
Even months later, I still have absolutely no clue what that thing on the left is.
"Like hell you can, you frigging brats!"
"You are very drunk Hanako place hand on shoulder." "Slurring I'm good to drive."
"It's a little unnerving, but I don't think Hanako n-and he has clearly grabbed a shotgun."
("I guess that explains her 'motion sickness' on the ride back.")
And that's where the King's Game ended.
All in the same room? That sounds....hideously depressing.
I'm more worried about everybody else. What the hell happened to Naomi's eyes?
And what solution would that be?
I fail to see the solution.
"Shizune, congrats on that last test. Misha....you have shiny hair."
"At my old school, we didn't even have tables. Everybody just ate out of a trough."
[He DOES know I wanted them separate, right?] "You know I do."
That's right. I completely forgot how these girls would randomly applaud absolutely anything.
"So......you got anything planned for tonight?"
[Your guess is as good as mine.]
I thought that was Emi's thing.
He says, looking at the proof that they have trouble communicating. (It's a knife.)
"You were flicking your head to Hanako's desk, like, every twelve seconds."
"Hicchan? Are you.....OK?" "No, it's....it's fine. What did y...."
[Told you I could get him to cry. You owe me 1000 yen.]
"Her birthday's coming up? Ooh, ooh~! We should get her someth-" "You don't remember the last time?"
Guess they owe HIM some yen.
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" "Of course, Hicchan." "You're not very good at this."
"You mean like Shizune toying with your emotions?" "......I.....I've......"
Well, enough of that. How about an impromptu Kingdom Hearts reference?
"That depends. We talking about my feminist rebellion, or my bitching rock opera?" "Yes."
"So I threw my bowling ball at their faces. Last time THEY disrespect my game."
Has Hisao seen....well, any movie ever? I feel like he hasn't.
And just like that, I feel the strongest urge to Photoshop up a Daddy Kenji.
AND NOW HIS WHOLE FAMILY! PHOTOSHOP CHRISTMAS HAS COME!
Government alerts? In case the feminists take over the military? You're letting me down, Kenji!
Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Kenji. YOU FUCKING KNOW I'M GOING TO PHOTOSHOP THAT.
PREACH THE MOTHERFUCKING TRUTH!
I have to admit, that IS a weird face.
"Hanako never rails on about the feminist takeover of mankind. Maybe the Jews, bu-wait a second."
Yea, let's.....let's just get this over with.
"Your rhymes suck! Just.....go away!"
I start the game up again for this feature, and I'm immediately greeted with something this worrying
Damn it, man. Now is not the time for running gags!
Something tells me that isn't entirely true. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUkCIUMEHp8
"You want to try something nasty?"
What comfort are you talking about I say trepidatiously.
"Rin's out for obvious reasons, and...you know what? So is everybody else."
Turns out it's Lilly. Who knew something like this would happen.
NOW IS NOT THE.....actually, it IS the time to hit the bottle.
"Then I remember why I'm calling."
"It's like I'm speaking with phlegm incarnate."
This isn't the first time Lilly has completely run out of excuses.
"I thought this might happen." "Which is why you booked it halfway across the planet."
...............................
.........................This is......
"Is it Akira? I KNOW you didn't get an aisle seat."
"I just can't shake this feeling that you're about to do something really, really stupid."
That interaction has amounted to kicking back and chugging some brews. How I miss those days.
(Where do I fucking start?)
*awkward, nervous laughter*
And so we come to the pivotal choice in Hanako's route. What shall Babyface do?
Go for the good ending so I can stop feeling so on edge.
YOU COLOSSAL, SKYSCRAPER SIZED DICK.
"Plus it's a round knob. That might explain why it doesn't move far."
I have the feeling that it isn't?
("Should I tell him the door knob's been on the fritz?")
I don't think she was talking about Hanako.
"Did....did you try to cheer me up by insulting my complexion?" "................"
I.......I don't like where this is going.
"Because so far, we're still in my room. Just saying you haven't done a good job."
You know, for coming to comfort HER, you sure have spoken a lot about YOURSELF.
I am in such utter dread and fear of what approacheth.
Did I mention that Hanako has a tangible physical presence in this scene? Like, I can feel her?
"Because that attitude worked out SO well with the twin-tailed bitch you were plowing last month!"
"Why do you think I drink so goddamn much!?"
"And don't think I've forgotten about YOU, you inhuman goddamn monster!"
"Do you think this is funny? You're exposing people's deep personal problems and expecting a laugh!?
"And why exactly do I have to be Solid Snake!? Is it because we're both burn victims? FUCK YOU."
"Are you going to make a joke about that!? Huh!? Think you can get a good laugh out of this!?"
Yea, let's try that other option.
This is the exact same dialogue from when he agrees with Lilly in the bad ending.
Those statements aren't related. He just really hates that fucking shopkeep.
I'd make a sex joke, but in lieu of everything that's happened so far....
"HEY, SHICCHAN, HAVE YOU PACKED FOR THAT TRIP TO YOUR DAD'S PLACE YET?" [sign language noises]
"It may not be perfect, but this HAS to go better than last time. As long as I'm smart a-"
Yea, I can......see w....
Yea, SHE's the one we have to worry about doing something foolish.
"Why can't we go back to the old times? When we'd eat in awkward silence, Hanako brimming with rage.
"Doesn't make a lot of sense, if you think about it."
".......Forget I said anything."
"You didn't think this out, did you?" "..........." "Why doesn't that surprise me?"
"This isn't a trap or anything, is it?" "Not now, at least."
I guess we're ignoring the part where she dug out the game.
"...........................Hanako?"
I guess at this point, he's completely given up on the situation.
Or maybe we just hit a really strange time warp. I am so very confused.
"What are you doing here?" "Hell if I know."
Which clearly means she's going to vanish in about five seconds.
Exactly. Hanako has no problems getting around. That explains why she's been secluding herself.
"Her hand problems. I don't think I have to tell you what meth would do to somebody like Miki."
This is the ONLY reason I gave Miki her nickname. So Revolver Ocelot could read this amazing line.
And this is probably why.
Damn it, Miki. It took me A LOT of effort to resist the obvious racism jokes. Don't you taunt me.
Uni? You mean that girl who was born without any breasts? I won't question it.
Why do I feel like her answer is "drugs"?
You probably would have if somebody wrote a FUCKING MIKI ROUTE.
Take a drink every time somebody remembers Hanako's existence.
"Or what happened to me. I mean, I like a knife fight as much as the next gal, but Hanako..."
Man, this class is really shitty at comforting people. I blame Mutou.
I don't think Miki is praying the gay away, Babyface. (Although that WOULD explain the no Miki route
"Iwanako!? How did she even......that fucking letter."
Bam. Instant proof that Miki and Hanako aren't the same person.
"Guess who got screwed out of a happy ending?"
That ain't happening. I hope.
You say that as though he hasn't eaten in a week.....which actually makes a lot of sense.
No. Not in the middle of class, you idiot.
"Apparently." (Also "go come". What.)
"I want to have sex with her."
"You DO realize that I'm not Hanako, right?" "Wait, what?"
And then another sex scene ensues. It's like Shizune's route, but without the smell.
The rule of symbolism is clearly at play.
"Hisao.....this is a chemistry textbook."
Where the hell is Hanako? We've gone, like, eighty lines of dialogue without acknowledging her.
"God, this is a boring little shithole."
Oh, right. Remember HER? The person you invited to lunch in the last scene?
"Because I'm required to tell you that I AM carding today." "*slaps down credit card*"
"But she only took, like, a tiny si-" "KEEP IT COMING, YUUKO!"
I see you've sampled some, too. Your liver will thank you.
"Hisao? You said that out loud. To ME." "..........*quaffs down Hanako's drink*"
...........OK, at this point, their dialogue has completely melted. How about we skip ahead?
Apparently, the letter sent him into such shock that he temporarily went colorblind.
But in time, the letter gave him psychic pen prowess. That's the only way to explain this screenshot
Fine. I'm not telling those jokes, again.
Even three acts later, he completely ignores staring at the scars she's sensitive about. Goddamnit.
What's on the other side of the door? Hopefully not a knife. Tune in tomorrow to find out!
It all makes sense until you remember what direction her desk faces.
"Wanna see something you'll never forget?" "You mean something I'll forever regret?"
What could possibly be more awkward than this?
"I can only imagine what she's thinking."
"We've been like this for......eight minutes. Do you wa-" "You blinked. I win." "DAMN IT!"
"There is no other choice."
("Pleasedontshowmeyourpenispleasedontshowmeyourpenispleasedo-")
("PLEASEDONTSHOWMEYOURPENISPLEASEDONTSHOWMEYOURPENISPLEASEDONTSHOWMEYOURPENISPLEASEDO-")
"I just hope my erectile dysfunction doesn't kick in right about now."
*giddy schoolgirl giggling*
"Makes me feel like a creepy flasher, to be brutally honest. But, well....it's out there."
Oh.....he was talking about his scar this whole time.
In retrospect, he made that fact pretty obvious.
"....not what I was expecting."
"I know. I remember Emi taking a while to notice."
As your strangely cocky smile (no pun intended) clearly demonstrates.
Stealth sex scene, I take it........I demand a video feature of that very name.
I'm a little confused. Are watches really popular in Japan?
"Three, to be specific. I'll let you guess which ones."
What I'm saying is, "Be glad that this isn't a video feature."
"How have you gotten so out of shape? Look at you. You're disgusting."
Shizune, why do you even own a phone?
"Right....behind you." "Wh-OH GOD!"
"Man, fuck Hanako. I need something to DRINK."
"Because I can feel your sweat making its way into my shoes."
At this point, I'm starting to feel bad for the guy. Maybe I should send him back to the Emi thread.
"Hanako, looking nice? WHAT ILLUSION IS THIS!?"
Like, he'd just yell at her out of nowhere as soon as things became even remotely quiet.
"Are you....hitting on our waitress, Hisao?" "Not at a-" "Because I don't think she's into puns."
("Fucking tramped up hussy.")
In that we haven't seen either one of them.
".........................................."
"There was no possibly way it would've been legal."
Is this the trendy new pick-up line? Kids these days.
I guess I haven't been too far off with the whole "crazy stalker" bit.
"So then she pays the bills for it?" ".........." ".....Uh.....Hey, Lilly's pretty cool, right?"
"That's not what you were saying in your bedr-" "*seething rage glare*" "...........Aaahhhh........"
............That's one way of putting it.
"But they're all arranged horizontally. I call it 'My Ring of Shame'."
So Hanako, Shizune, Misha, and about twelve other characters are all part of the same family?
Wait a minute. Didn't we cover this "true self" plot point back in Lilly's route?
"Eh, I'm in a good mood. What's on your mind?"
("Great way to fuck that up.") "What?" "Nothing."
Look at her. This girl's ready to fuck some shit UP.
Should I acknowledge this as a sad moment? I mean, there isn't sad music playing.
"But how do I get the waitress' number without Hanako noticing?"
I guess that answers that question.
Harlem Ikezawa: Motherfuckin' Keyblade Master.
"Really? It had to be a pun?"
A smile infestation spreads throughout the whole city. The government puts it all under quarantine.
STILL!? I th....b......NNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.......
As have been playing for the past two minutes it took me to type out these jokes.
Or maybe it was Hanako. Was there ever a Miki to begin with?
"Yesterday was more of a brunch, really."
"That fucking bitch! Why can't she just open up to me like a regu-"
"You didn't hear that last part, did you?...................Hanako?"
"I MUST STARE AT EVERYTHING!"
The more I play this game, the more I realize that there's probably, like, one decent parent here.
"Bunch of mouth-breathing bastards, always trying to get in a girl's b-" "Hanako." "......Oh."
Man, your caretakers were unsettlingly lax, weren't they, Hanako?
"Some of them even wrote 'get well soon' across my chest." "I know. I saw some of that, remember?"
That was one of the bad times.
Kind of like me....................Wait a minute.............
"It was a surprise birthday party." "Oh..........."
I like to imagine Hisao's old school was something like this: [DUMB YOUTUBE LINK]
"Really? That weak bullshit? I....I just....*pinches bridge of nose, starts rubbing eyes*..."
"Yes, you look far less ridiculous now."
She didn't want you looking like a skinhead.
"In that there's still feeling in my arm."
Have you checked your watch? Or looked outside?
OH. Uh..........this is.........uncomfortable.
"Either Hanako is mocking me, or she doesn't know how clothes work. I honestly can't tell with her."
"Oh, nononononononono, there's no possible way this could end w-"
"But you already did that, so there's absolutely no need for you t-"
..........................
..........................
..........................
("And I thought I was uncomfortable BEFORE.")
Hey, Hanako? You know all those times I said that you were cute? I meant every last one of them.
"Was......was that supposed to comfort me?" "I don't even know anymore."
"I don't know if I should be grateful or traumatized." - Hanako.
"Man, what a rush. I think I want more. More. MO-"
"You know what? I think I'm fine with what I've got."
"Is that it? Lots of people have tattoos, Hanak-" "Do you THINK that's what I wanted to talk about?"
What a heartwarming moment.
What a great way to fuck up that heartwarming moment.
"Morning wood. Feels good."
So having sex with Hanako is like staying at the hospital?.....That's.......
"I do, however, see several empties littered on the floor. Oh, god."
I like how for a brief second, he implied that he would wear Hanako's panties.
This is the GOOD ending, right? I'm not playing some weird, gender-swapped version of the neutral?
Normally, that would be "good morning", but....well, I think you know.
Remember this joke? Remember this from, like, four months ago? Oh, those were the days.
BACK THE FUCK UP. What sink is he talking about?
Shizune, do you remember what happened the LAST time you pried into their business?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A
See? Even Hanako's not into it.
"This is bad. Really bad. Hopefully, we can patch th....Oh shit. Did I say that last part out loud?"
"I kind of wish I had time to say that to her before Mutou broke my shins."
"Well, when a man and a woman both get each other VERY drunk..."
Geez, I don't remember Hanako's ending being so Spec Ops-y.
So those jokes about forgetting you........I'm......I'm REALLY bad at this, aren't I?
"I mean, I confirmed as much with all the 'Hey, remember Hanako' jokes...."
Choose your next words carefully.
Sounds kind of dickish when you put it like that. And when you look like that.
Look at that. A genuinely heartwarming moment.
"WAIT A SECOND. Are you saying you actually WERE interested in Yuuko?" "Uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh.........."
Says the shoujo with the strongest thread thus far.
"FUCK OFF, LILLY! I'VE FOUND TRUE LOVE!"
That's the second time this update. Is Hisao allergic to emotional moments or something?
"Now are you gonna give me a handjob in the park or what?"
You two have ruined some poor squirrel's day.
I swear, if the fucking G-man crashes this moment...
How about I just show you guys?
But not before one last shoulder touch.
"........So, what do you think?.........Well, don't just stand there, silly.....Hisao?"
Careful what you say, Hanako.
LEAVE THE CLASS CONFUSED ABOUT GATE LOVE!
BURN TWO BRIDGES WITH ONE TORCH!
GIVE HANAKO HER SPACE!.....That's a weird step.
DENY HANAKO'S CUTENESS. (Also, we're skipping a step after this. That's what we get.)
CREEP OUT THE GIRLS WITH YOUR SURGERY SCARS!
TELL THE NURSE TO EAT A DICK!
Because they beat the piss out of him, anyway.
But let's assume that Babyface has moved on from Sugartits once and for all.
Wait a second. I thought I told him NOT to side with Lilly. I'm not even kidding. Hisao defies me.
Just for that: bad ending.
Something tells me they don't enjoy your sense of humor.
That something being this.
Rin glaring at him too much to come up with a decent dick joke.
He still goes to bed sweaty. Just as he likes it.
Exactly. You've let Kenji get ahead of you.
"I just hope he likes the smell of lemons."
"That sounds like a threat." ".................."
Rin told him about this thread, didn't he? *sigh*
And we get bad ending music, out of absolutely nowhere. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JeJjWeYQuc
Probably the same shit they've been doing for the past few months.
"Hopefully, she's not wearing anything too tight."
No matter how many times you've DESPERATELY asked her.
"Helping" in the loosest sense of the word.
Actually, she's drinking it up with Hanako. I think we know why.
"Is this how eating works?"
"Try and make a joke out of THAT one, Rin!"
How sad is it that this is probably the most memeable line in the game?
Your mom wouldn't happen to be Akira, would she?...........Wait.........
"...........Really?..........Fucking.......*sigh*"
If it was, he'd have brought Hanako.
http://youtu.be/8Sr3ZbSxolI
Don't worry. I've got you covered.
It'll never beat the Shoulder Touch Drinking Game.
And Kenji STILL hasn't explained why he shot up Babyface.
I FUCKING LOVE THIS ROUTE!
"I still don't see how that answers my question."
"Maybe Ever17 really DOES have a good story."
Oh. I guess he really IS making Ever17.
"The music's no good, and then what? People stop playing your visual novel!"
"Besides, I don't think anybody in their right mind would fund a development studio headed by us."
"I heard about this Kickstarter biz, and it's g-" "Can you even SPELL the word 'computer'?" "......"
"WHERE'S MY FUCKING GUITAR!?"
Why do I feel like we've set ourselves up for a strange horror film?
Apparently, Kenji drinking whiskey is depressing. The music says as much.
Might as well change the music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgkVx84Vk6I
"She had sex with me. WAS SHE OUT OF HER MIND!?"
How much have you two drank by now? Shouldn't one of you be dead?
"Dickgirl? You mean like that Emi girl I dated a while back?" "......You what?"
"Last time? What do you mean b-WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR POCKET!?"
His dick. At least judging by the music.
"I can smell the lemon in your pocket."
("My butthole is ready.")
No, he's dying. Apparently, this is preferable to sex with Kenji. APPARENTLY.
And an oddly early end to th-
He's got to open up about his heart condition. (And hope Rin says nothing about his dick.)
"Narrowly avoiding butt love will do that to a guy, huh?"
"What was that Rin said about anal sex?"
"Not in this thread, Sugartits."
I like how in the lead-up to Rin's route, we're barely paying any attention to Rin.......Oh shit.
"Wait, what was that about forgetting me?" "Oh, crap."
"I thought we were finally focusing on MY character."
I guess between the two of them, they do.
"Just go running back to Splooge McFuck. See if I care."
"I FUCKING BET SHE DOES, YOU BABY DICKED MOTHERFUCKER!"
Kind of like she's mocking you.
"Wait, did I just spend the entire night with Rin?"
Guess who pointed him toward that one.
But is this enough to put a stop to the Rokkaku Group? Find out next time on Jet Grind Radioooooooo.
"Gee, I wonder who told you THAT one."
"And I'm not just saying that because of what happened in the hallway."
"I have come to realize the futility of my...our existence. Culture...civilization...all delusions."
I feel I can get some use out of this.
"Thanks for that, Baby Dick."
I have to agree with him: that is one unreadable foot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCrEeqmjOBo
Rin is making every effort not to look at this creature; therefore, they must know each other.
Have I mentioned that he hasn't blinked ONCE throughout this entire fucking scene?
Rin proceeds to face palm harder than anybody ever thought possible.
Not that she had to wait particularly long.
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...
WITH SOUND EFFECTS TO BACK IT UP! (Wish I had those back in Shizune's route.)
Well, first LEGAL impression, yes.
Oh, that's right. One more choice stands between us and Rin. What will it be?
"I want to be with Rin. Apparently."
Says the guy who spent at least one thread speaking in the purplest prose one can possibly muster.
"Yea, I can....uh....I can....yea."
"They're all really eager to talk to me, but they're always looking at the floor when I'm around."
"You wanna end up on the roof again?" "......OK, maybe I'll follow you."
REACTION SHOT THE.....I've lost count.
You ask that like anybody knows.
"As I've no doubt said countless times over the course of this conversation."
As you can so clearly see in this here GIF.
Or strawberries and sweat. Whichever works.
...................I want no part in what this girl's smelling.
"Pantsu hm hmhm hm, pantsu hm hmhm h-I'M RUNNING OUT OF YELLOWS!"
This idea's purpose?...........You'll have to get back to me on that one.
"Am I hanging out with a zen koan?" "What was that, Rin?" "More Prussian Blue!"
Rin must be so utterly confused right now.
Mirrors my own confusion about how Hisao got back to his room.
Hisao Nakai: Still Pretty Fly for an Arrhythmic Guy.
Two. Two students in the entire fucking school.
"How did I hit puberty before he did?"
Or like a vampire has sucked her soul from her body. You know, under the weather.
You know. The perfect mural to display at a school for kids with physical disabilities.
"Well, it was SUPPOSED to be a goldfish....I guess I let things get away from me, huh?"
More like a bad case of acne, from the looks of it.
Isn't that what "abstract" literally means?
Ruining TWO sets of school uniforms in the process.
"That was awfully quick, wasn't it? Should we go behind that bush or do y-"
"*sigh*.....What do YOU think?"
"Look, can we just get this over with? I'd prefer it if we skip straight to the sex and end it here?
"Even when I squint at it really, REALLY hard."
Whatever gave you that idea?
I love how Rin's expression perfectly matches my own.
"That's actually a wall, Baby Dick. I'm over here."
Let's GIF this motherfucker up!
"He'd better hope that Jigoro doesn't hit any vital organs."
Kind of like Shizune, now that I think about it......It's a very scary thought.
What do you have against butterflies, Obama? And why were you campaigning in Japan?
"....No, I don't think that's it."
"Wait, what ar.....AW, GROSS! REALLY!? AND IN FRONT OF ME!?
"If you're gonna do that here, at least aim it at the wall. (Like there's not enough of it already.)
"You spontaneously decided to mock me with the one thing I can never truly enjoy for myself."
Fun fact: Hisao said that exact same line when he first met Hanako.
"Wait, why do I need to pull down your underwear to help you with your punctuation?" "You idiot."
"You sure took your sweet time, didn't you?"
Fun fact: Rin is one of three characters in the game with a shadow. I guess the others are vampires.
".............." "............Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........"
"Yea, that joke stopped being funny WEEKS ago." "Damn it."
And you guys thought RIN was weird.
Just another day in the life of these tw-
"I said minutes! MINUTES!"
I think that's it. I think he's called every girl in this game fat at one point or another.
But Rin's the only who isn't.
"So stop it with all these cryptic references to forum threads and Photoshop. It's confusing."
"And that's supposed to cheer me up?"
To recap: Rin and Hanako are rabbits, Shizune's a cat, Emi's a dog, Misha's a blowfish...
"Is that it?" "What do you mean?" "You're not going to make some dumb faux pas?" "N....no?"
"Great way to start my story arc."
That explains the Kenji ending.
.....................Excuse me. I'm gonna go pour buckets of bleach into my skull.
Did I say buckets? I meant barrels.
And yet I still prefer him to Nomiya. What a shocker.
That painting is ready to fuck somebody up.
"Second, I see th-AW, FUCK!"
"When are you going to learn that life doesn't work like Saints Row 2?"
"You mean that was an option?"
The worst part of this? He said it to the one girl he can't run away from.
He's finally learned where the roof is.
"Self-fulfilling prophecy, dude."
"Tried that once. Didn't really work out."
And the jungles of Africa in their untamed beauty.
"I know where those things have been. Pass."
"For example, you remember how Emi's panties were all sweaty and gross? Well, so is her soul."
Kind of like The Legend of Zelda if Link raided Zelda's panty-drawer.
So close, and yet so far away.
What does it say about the writers that Rin's art is visibly obscured by Lilly's?
May God have mercy on us all.
"But enough about that time I ate 64 slices of American cheese."
"Nomiya." "I understand completely."
Well, enough of that bullshit. Back to the plot.
"Like I was supposed to lock the door?"
HOLD THE FUCK UP. When did Yu Narukami transfer to Yamaku!?
Yea, fuck Narukami, apparently! (And Hanako. The hell is she doing here?)
*VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT*
None of those words sound pleasant.
Anything to get the.....the hell away from Nomiya.
OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH S-
"For the love of GOD, please tell me you haven't left this room."
I should mention that this is half the dialogue for her entire route. 60% in this scene alone.
Play along at home and make the obvious joke.
"Gonna give you cat whiskers. Make your eyes sizzle like you wouldn't believe."
"I don't think either of us wants to look at each other while she's doing this."
Or that. That works, too.
And it was here I realized I should've nicknamed her Rin "The Abyss".
Because your partner has never made anything that's looked disfigured. Remember her mural?
"Agreed. You DO look silly."
I guess we've found a new drinking game: take a shot every time the writers link Rin to a butterfly.
"Four months and change, and I'm still waiting."
Still a lot better than I could do. (God, I wish that was a joke.)
"Why's that?" "Would YOU want to date you?"
"Would you date me? I'd date me. I'd date me hard."
Oh.....there's actually art of him looking into a mirror. For all of two or three lines.
"That explains the erection."
You say that like you don't regularly shower.......Please tell me you regularly shower.
.............................I am................I am so incredibly confused right now.
Guess which one of those we're seeing first? Or at all?
Another art pun, huh? Please don't let this be Hisao's weird character trait for Rin's route.
FINALLY! HE HAS LEARNED!!!!!!
"I have to say, they really do pop out at you."
"Zero to heart attack in three seconds! Pay up, Shicchan~!"
FUCKING MAKE THAT HAPPEN, GIRL.
This being far better than what I (or I suspect most of us) could ever hope to draw.
Excuse me while I go cry in the corner.
"This is completely unrelated to the knife she is currently holding. At least I hope it is."
*hopes nobody learns how to use this image*
"OH GOD, where has this thing been!?"
"Are you saying we're not normal, Hicchan?" "Have you smelled your finger lately?"
Not to this particular situation. More for the whole game, really.
He's also walking the halls blind, for reasons I cannot fathom.
Again, having exactly one friend marks you a social butterfly. (Chug it down.)
"I swear, if she calls me 'Baby Dick' one more fucking time..."
"Doesn't mean I'm gonna stop, Baby Dick."
"Spent, like, twelve days trying to peel one of the bastards a while ago. I never did get in there."
"It's right up there with 'how to ride a motorcycle' and 'how to drop them mad rhymes'."
Nihilism, out of absolutely nowhere. Yea, why not?
"I now know when lunch is. Progress."
Unfortunately, sacrifices had to be made. Hisao has now developed severe myopia.
("Can he see me now, or should I wait a little longer?")
Rin freezes on the spot and remains dead silent for a full hour. And then she notices the touch.
"Emi seems like she's in a good mood. What's this bitch planning?"
"I even gave up wearing underwear three months ago. Makes things a lot faster."
"To death?" "YOU FUCKING KNOW IT!"
After much extensive research, I can confirm that this is how humans work.
"I mean, I know you're not here, but I'm pretty sure you'll hear this. Somehow."
And he's back to the mirror for all of two lines.
What you didn't see in that last screenshot was Hisao injecting pure Naked Lunch in between his toes
I mean, just look at her epilepsing all over the place. And in public, too. How vulgar.
"Caffeinated out of their adolescent minds?" ".......Yea, that."
Ooh, another choice! What shall it be?
How about a pun? (Not like it matters.)
The fuck is she implying?
"It's kind of my thing, now......I guess."
And that's the last we're seeing of Yuuko's neurotic ass.
Yamaku's just not big on the betting scene. For obvious reasons.
"'Bet I can count how many times you've heard a girl say that on one hand', huh?" ".......Nope?"
"Emi's. Remember? The one with the tits?"
".......Hey, Rin. What do you think of the threadwork?" "Check the thread."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAUje0nUM2Y
Or like she's going to drive a knife into the unlucky bastard who stole her wallet.
"We're gonna have to amputate~!"
A moment of silence f....."prepares to start"? What? Isn't that horribly redundant?
There's a reason Meiko has her eyes closed.
"And once again, Emi writhes on the ground in a pool of her own blood."
"Waiting to see if she gets medical attention."
Yea, we know what happens in the Emi route.
For twelve minutes before Rin explains what a cell phone is.
"Look, Hisao, are we going to focus on my character at some point? We've already done her."
It? Emi's a girl. I think.
"I'll go find some nails and a hammer."
"How are we gonna nail her legs to the cross?" "Let ME worry about that."
"You might like grinding for hours on end, but I don't."
Don't you go breaking the fourth wall on me, Deckard.
"I don't know. Things kind of went to shit when you told her she could die with her daddy issues."
Great sarcasm, there, Rin.
"What do you mean by that?" "It's.....hard to explain. You s-"
"You're going too fast, Babyface. You lost me at the 'horse injection' part."
"The cafeteria workers are injecting horse steroids into the track team's food for the collective!"
And here I was hoping we could go one update without his....what words CAN describe him?
("I think they bought the handkerchief thing.")
He insisted that people raise their hands to speak. And he called on Rin. A lot.
"And have Rin step all over it."
("Hopefully that will keep things relatively comf-")
OK, I'm calling bullshit. What part of this thing even remotely looks clean?
I think it was right after that Akira fight.
Wow, that scene title is oddly accurate.
"Because I've been going with 'swag'."
"Only if it can hold the water." "DAMN IT!"
In case you couldn't tell, Nomiya's entire bit is saying things that make me want to scrub the filth
This thread, for instance. Or those eyes. Oh god.....those eyes....
As if I wasn't confused enough already.
I SHIT THEE NOT, THE SEX MUSIC PLAYS OVER THIS VERY SCENE. EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW!!!!!!!!!!
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" "That this is our only chance to leave?"
What does it say that I'm more uncomfortable here than I was at any other point in this feature?
That explains the look of abject terror.
".......What was that? I zoned out for a bit. Are we still talking about art?" "...............Yes."
For some reason, I started thinking of Winnie the Pooh on this very screenshot.
"Where did we just come from, Babyface?" "........Oh, OH!"
Wait, we're actually tackling the forest? We're not visiting the Shanghai for the 900th time? Hooray
"We're barely twenty feet off school grounds. Hell, I think I see Miki waving to you."
The dating sim cliche we've all been waiting for.
Or maybe Billy and Mandy is rubbing off on her. Not that there's much of a difference.
"Doesn't mean I'm gonna stop doing it."
"Why do you think I'm worried?"
"I, too, have watched somebody masturbate barely two feet away from me."
"I can't imagine being part of a forum thread would help you much, huh?"
Part of me wants to Photoshop something dumb onto Rin. Part of me just wants to leave the her alone.
Is this forest where Rin hides away all her Billy and Mandy references? It's uncanny, is all.
Ask her to sleep with you. I'm sure she'll take it well.
Who's he going to be more like?
The person sitting right next to him, duh! (Not that this has any significant bearing on the plot.)
"Do I want to be more like Lilly or Hanako?"
"I found out about cooties during my stay in the hospital. Really dodged a bullet with Iwanako."
Why do I get the feeling that the writers didn't particularly like Rin?
You know how the title of this thread is "End of the Tropes"? I MEANT IT.
You think this is sudden for you? Well, it's exactly as sudden in the game. No sneaky editing here.
"Look at you, fatty fat fatty. You think you're gonna get the girls with all this flab?"
"Shizune Hakamichi. The torn flap doesn't do much to comfort me."
You know how most people write Dear John letters? Well, Iwanako peels apples.
"So I settled on saying absolutely nothing. In retrospect, that was a really shitty strategy."
"Nobody tell her he's been in a sour mood ever since he met me."
"He said that anybody who scores below a 40 has a promising future as a can of dog food."
"That bitch is dog food."
She's gonna fuck with 'em good.
"But in my defense, I don't think they would've gotten through to you."
"I was the one who planned the surprise party. I thought it might make you happy. Again, no excuse."
I imagine it would've gone well. "Don't give up on yourself." "Yea, OK." END OF STORY.
Well, he got Rin. I'd interpret that as "all the best".
"Yep, it sure is the same letter."
Call me paranoid......but I think you're better off at Yamaku.
Anybody else get the feeling he's doing this to spite me? No? Just me? OK, then.
Summary: he's lying to her.
HOLD THE FUCK UP. Mid-fucking June!? Didn't he receive that letter in July in Lilly's route?
Maybe you should wait more than a day.
"Everybody at Yamaku is living their lives like anybody else. They must be horribly depressed."
He reminds Hisao of a child molester, is what he's saying.
Yea, I guess a huffing addiction would explain Rin's spaciness well.
("Focusonthepaintingfocusonthepaintingfocusonthepainting...")
An online gallery. One I can't link here FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.
"Time still exists. We must celebrate."
"Curses. You win this round, Miss Tezuka."
"Yes, it is exactly like Cthulhu." "..........Alright, then."
Me, too. Nice to see her invested in something she enjoys. (What? Not everything can be a joke.)
"How many times have we been over this, Hisao?"
"Yes. I want to talk about it. I am clearly comfortable talking about this again."
"I'M JUST LIKE THE INTERNET!"
After so much time, I still feel a burning hatred for The After Years.
I think she tried that. You haven't heard of the Necrinomicon?
"Screw it. Go home, everybody. Character arc's over."
"I fear that it is somehow related to my penis."
Oh. We're going with sad moment. I will adjust my tone accordingly.
By that, I mean "choice time". Which of these will it be?
Not that it matters. The way I've set things up, they all lead to the same result.
"Have fun with Nomiya. Jerks."
"Yea, let's go with that."
"I.....I, uh.....Hey, Rin! Wait up!"
"Gonna fuck with her good."
"But what if it rains?" ".........I'm gonna need a minute."
Her prosthetic limbs are basically a middle finger to diabetes.
Watch Emi's world view crash in on itself in 3, 2...
"Plus you're not a girl."
Surprisingly NOT a GIF moment. Emi shall remain planted upon the Earth.
Who's he planning to stab today?
That was a fast grieving process, wasn't it?
"You're real confident about that A cup, huh?"
"Nor anything nice. I'm still a little confused on the spice, though."
I guess we aren't getting that "Emi freaks the fuck out" art, then.
"Could be a glorious feeling. Maybe I'll be happy again."
"Or the part where you're wet. You know what? Screw the whole thing."
And I believe that's our completely random artsy reference quota met for this update.
Just so you know what I'm dealing with when I'm writing these jokes.
Yuuko's spirit animal....check.
I am, however, still waiting on what the hell this scene title means.
It might have something to do with her almost literally being a kid in a candy story.
"What are the rest of us supposed to have?"
"Just try me, motherfucker."
"Yea, you take that fucking pie."
You're not going to see Lilly naked again, Babyface. You're past that.
"Kinda reminds me of my reflection in the tea back when I was d-wait a minute."
"Is that supposed to explain the samurai sword sound?"
You don't care for tea? Then what the hell were you doing in Lilly and Hanako's routes?
"God, how much food can that bitch pack away?"
"And wasn't I supposed to make a BioShock joke that we never followed up on?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA6MMC12uDQ
"Uh-huh. Seeya. Say 'hi' to your dad for me." "Can d-wait, what?"
He'd comment on the art, but that would violate Rule 2 from The Answer.
Or maybe he will. Who the hell knows?
"Is this related to what I was thinking not two seconds ago?" "Would it surprise you if it was?"
"That is straight up the craziest fucking thing I've heard all day."
"Are you trying to expl-"
Not even figuratively. He literally tried comparing the two for, like, no reason.
"Call it a hunch, but that time Rin said she doesn't know who she is makes me think she doesn't know
"It's a real pain in my ass. And not for the obvious reasons."
I think she's touching your shoulder.
Still tempted to nickname her The Abyss. But I am sticking to Happy Ending. I AM A MAN OF COMMITMENT
"Say hi to Lilly for me." "Yea, sure, whatever."
He kind of looks like this:
"Good-bye, next four days. Hopefully, I remember it, this time."
".....No, this is not good." "What is it?" "You're a Samantha."
You mean you had to gather a group of people to forcibly restrain Emi to her bed for her own good?
And that's the end of THAT subplot.
You'd better hope the nurse buys that.
"OH, COME ON! I just got up the damn things!"
So like she always looks?
*THUD* "............You alright?"
I love how her expression doesn't budge an inch for such a violent sneeze.
"Since when does God come into this?"
I think Rin's got you beat by about eighteen years.
"Like that time I asked her about the job survey. Apparently, she put down 'Red Mage'."
I dunno about that. Have you seen Hanako's thread?
"You could spend your whole life naked and nobody would judge you."
"Then how do you always seem to know what I'm thinking?" "Because you're not that hard to read."
Oh.....OK, then. Sorry 'bout that, Babyface. Carry on.
"Kind of like what you were doing a couple of weeks ago. Could you tell me why you were doing that?"
"I spend a lot of time thinking about it, though. Guess that makes me a fucking egotist, doesn't it?
At this point, I think she's just fucking with me.
Man, what an oddly specific distance that this scene never elaborates upon.
Also, whatever the fuck this is.
"Sure freaked out the people outside, though."
What did your parents have to say about it?
Oh, well. It was worth a try.
"You mean like me?" "......Actually, I was thinking of Misha."
Isn't that exactly how this thread opened up?
"Finally! Somebody understands m-"
"Is this another jab at my penis?" "No. I actually want to know what it's like being disabled."
Pretty much this entire game's message. Also, something about practice.
"Put that Lilly girl in her bitch place." "You mean like Hanako?" "Her, too."
I believe you said as much in the previous screenshot. Not to mention the timing.
"Wow, I didn't know you felt this way, Rin............Rin?..........You're asleep, aren't you?"
"You wanna reciprocate any time soon?"
I fucking love you, Rin. Have I told you that?
Me, too. Makes for boring fucking updates.
So Babyface's heart sounds like the shitty final boss music from The Last Story?
You hear that? Even he doesn't like that music. Nobody does!
"You don't know how often I have to deal with that on a daily basis. Really means a lot to me."
What a sad way to end this sc-
And so do I. Ending on the uplifting note for this update.
"You wanna cut it with the nihilism? That's the kind of thing that me want to slit my wrists."
What's stranger: Babyface getting this close to a fucking dandelion, or one of the writers?
"I really thought you were past her."
HOW IS SHE NOT DEAD FROM THIS!?
"Oh, you get a text splash just fine, but I don't?" "YOU WERE SPEAKING."
"I'm Misha, right?" "Sure, you're whoever you want to be."
Oh....what a sad choice. How's he gonna handle it?
Part of Your World, Inner Universe, Pursuing my True Self, Shippo no Uta, take your pick.
"AND I WAS GETTING TO THE BEST PART!"
"Quite the opposite, actually." ".............." "...Should I apologize for that?"
The note I wrote for this joke was "Little Mermaid Photoshop".
Nope. Can't possibly see how these poses relate to the art club girl.
"What were MY pills doing in YOUR backpack?"
"Why are YOU here, in this class?" ".........Class dismissed. Forever."
"What was I thinking when I decided they would be worth my time?"
And kicks him straight in the balls.
"I want to see you cough the dusty fuckers up."
He gets off on THAT, too!? GODDAMNIT!
"Haven't had a thrill that good since the summer of 86. So many department stores, so little time."
To discuss that dumb name of hers, hopefully.
"Looks like I'm out twelve bucks."
Grainy Polaroids? I'm sure it'll work just fine.
"...........He's masturbating, isn't he?" "Probably."
What the fuck is he planning with Babyface?
"I hope to high hell he buys that. I don't want to think about what he'd do around a girl like Emi."
Holy shit, Sae, you look COMPLETELY different from how I remember you. I thought you had an up do.
"This woman is between time itself. My watch has failed me. It must be sacrificed to Chronos."
That sure is a healthy amount of sweat.
Apparently, three screenshots is enough space to solve the "old/not-old" conundrum.
Do I go with the animal joke, or do I rehash the same scanning jokes I made about a month ago?
Hisao's had the breath scared out of him; Rin's spacing out like a motherfucker...
I swear, if it isn't the fucking death penalty...
He's making this all too e-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, I really didn't need that sleep. I'll just spend another night slowly sobbing.
Anything to get away from...
That's about the third or fourth time she's called Rin a kitten.
"I mean, look at him. Do YOU have any clue what to do with him?"
OK, so maybe Shizune's mom isn't dead. Maybe she just faked her own death and changed her name.
Like Hisao shipping Nomiya and Sae...........*wretch*.....
"I've seen what you can do with a pair of whiskers. I think you're going places, kitten."
"They have? First I've heard of th-" "QUITE. SUPPORTIVE."
"How many times do I have to tell you that I won't film porn up there?"
"You've already put your webcams up there, haven't you?"
"His cleaning bills are going to bankrupt me."
Please tell me you're talking about the atelier.
Certainly explains Sae's shitty luck in today's update.
Somehow, this is less awkward.
Don't you break the fourth wall on me, you babyfaced motherfucker.
"And start staring the shit out of her."
"Like, REALLY stare the shit out of her."
"Whispering dirty thoughts into her sleeping head."
"And maybe an urge to fuck her up beyond belief."
"That probably explains 'Single Brush Stroke That Happened to Fall onto the Floor.'"
WATCHING HER SLEEP SETS OFF HIS ARRHYTHMIA!? WHAT!?
And looking out the window burns his eyes to a crisp!? What kind of sick-ass direction is this!?
Babyface Nakai: Emotional Expert.
"Yea, I'll admit it. I'm a bad drooler."
If I was a better Photoshopper, I'd probably make Rin burp butterflies.
"I still have nightmares about that fucking shed."
"I never thought I'd say this, but I really miss Mutou and his methed out underwear ramblings."
"But now, I think I'd prefer the smell of death and disease to this."
Must....resist...urge....to Photoshop....Rin...into....pimp outfit....
"You see this shit? THIS is why I don't want her around."
You bet your traumatized ass she does!
"Girl, you have no idea what I think is fun."
WHY MUST YOU PUNISH THEM SO!?
"Pleaseleavepleaseleavepleaseleavepleaseleavepleaseleavepleaseleave."
Take special note of how he's signalling toward his junk.
....Did he just call Sae a bitch?
I can. And will. Countless times.
"I meant friends. Thought I was pretty clear on that."
First choice of the new act! Which one will it be?
Well, FUCK YOU, COMPUTER. I'LL SHIP RINSAO ALL I WANT.
"Worked that out over five hours of diligent bus watching."
Man, what a way to be shot down. And by somebody half your age, no less.
"Come back when you're serious about loving me."
This has nothing to do with it being the same stairwell flipped horizontally and desaturated.
"You like it? It symbolizes my frustration about SOMEBODY forgetting to buy more color paint."
Really? THESE are her "casual" clothes? ....Goddamnit....
So the only window in this room is on the roof? What's preventing Rin from choking on paint fumes?
"Of course, she had to put it in my ass pocket. Thanks for that."
".....Hey, Rin. Could you turn around for me?"
"Something about her random demonic outburst makes me think I shouldn't have come here."
"Could you stop staring at my ass?"
"......On second thought, go back to the ass."
He's talking about her overalls. He doesn't need another barrier between him and Rin's tight ass.
"I think this isn't the first pregnancy she's somehow hid from me."
"More than you will ever know."
"He's still going to leave you in the end. Who could possibly love a girl on her eight abortion?"
"I think you're illiterate, Hisao." "That's crazy! I can read just fine." "Spell my name." "......."
"Bop it. Twist it. Pull it. Flick it." "Stop it."
..........Excuse me for a second. I have to go remove this dagger lodged firmly in my heart.
"OK, wait. Do you WANT to be my girlfriend or not?" "Nes."
"I don't know what object permanence is."
Just like Hanako around her birthday. That....that can't be good.
"Do I become invisible when I close my eyes? Try as I might, I can't quite figure it out."
"Forty-five minutes of intense bus-staring, and she managed to destroy it in less than two seconds."
I just feel so bad for him in this scene. He's utterly broken, barely able to say much of anything.
"Shouldn't I be asking that?"
That's....I can't even finish that joke because of how hard all this is.
