Scrapheap Challenge: Build a DS Lite?

by sweep

*ahem* I now own a DS lite Awesome huh? For those without an ear to the virtual ground I purchased a scrapped old DS on eBay then bought a replacement shell-case for the motherboard to slot into. Well, last night after 3 hours of intensive ds surgery, I managed to patch up a new-ish DS Lite for myself. It required a bunch of tools like a really small flathead screwdriver, some plyers and a tri-...

*ahem*

I now own a DS lite

Awesome huh?
For those without an ear to the virtual ground I purchased a scrapped old DS on eBay then bought a replacement shell-case for the motherboard to slot into. Well, last night after 3 hours of intensive ds surgery, I managed to patch up a new-ish DS Lite for myself. It required a bunch of tools like a really small flathead screwdriver, some plyers and a tri-force screwdriver. That last one sounds like an exotic cocktail. It's not.
If anyone is interested on doing the same, perhaps opening up their ds and scrapping around inside then feel free to ask some questions. I think I have a pretty decent understanding of how it should work now. Also these images were really fucking useful. Nintendo really don't like people screwing around inside their consoles...
I borrowed a couple of games off my brother and spent the evening happily playing through Starfox Command (no Giantbomb link? bad times) and Advance Wars. It was very satisfying to say the least. I decided to keep the pink buttons and screen trimming from the old busted DS for maximum awesomeness/gayness. It looks kinda funky now with its black shell and pink buttons but I like it. I'm going to go buy a copy of Space Invaders Extreme, that game looks badass. If anyone else has any suggestions for some decent DS games I probably would not otherwise be aware of (ie. games that dont have Mario in) then buzz me.

Resident Evil 5 Impressions

So anyway's I figured I should bust out some Resident Evil 5 impressions considering Oni was decent enough to lend me a copy. I have played through twice now, on veteran. I got halfway through the first run with Oni, then did the second half simply leaving open a slot so that randoms off the internet could join. The second run-through was done in local co-op with my brother. The game is, simply, a lot of fun. You can criticise the outdated lack of a sidestep, but it feels and plays inherently like a Resident Evil game, and Resident Evil games are awesome. There is enough variety in the 3rd person shooter genre that there are plenty of alternatives to enjoy if you are adamant that a strafe is required. But the movement, the way the game plays, the animations - all initially stunned me as being so last-generation. All the power of the 360, all the potential, and you stick with the formula that made Resident Evil 4 the best survival horror game ever made.... wait what? Oh yeah, that's right. It worked before. Despite feeling a little dated, it STILL works. And it is reassuringly Resident Evil to the very core. The game works best when referencing itself, throwing in past characters and enemies and scenarios. Licker zombies? Sure, why not. Zombie dogs? Fuck yeah! Glorious defensive set pieces? Yeah, lets throw in a few of those. It sometimes feels like a fast-paced montage of Resident Evil history. And I'm OK with that.

Another staple of the Resident Evil series is how it revels in the utterly ridiculous and melodramatic. There is one part towards the end where Chris has to push a huge boulder off a cliff. How does he do this? Oh yeah, that's right. He repeatedly PUNCHES it. With his bare FISTS. In the very spirit of Giantbomb, that is perhaps the most awesome thing in any videogame, ever.

The plot and execution of the game is predictably Capcom: Over dramatic and ridiculously cheesy. There's a lot of long meaningful frowns which Capcom seems to love so much. The problem with playing Co-op is everything needs to be done in such a rush, you rarely have time to stop and marvel at whats going on. Nearly everyone I played with in co-op dismissively skipped every cut-scene, even my brother and he LOVES resident evil. As the boys at Penny Arcade have commented, the reason the game isn't scary is because it isn't actually difficult. If you preserve your ammo correctly on the first playthough then you will find it plentiful. The chatter of your team-mates all but destroys any sense of suspensive atmosphere and character empathy. Once you have enough to start buying unlimited ammo for your favourite magnum, your role alters completely. In singleplayer you simply stroll through in a state of hypnotic boredom. In co-op you become a tour guide, escorting your team-mate through the trials and fishing him out of trouble when required. It's like participating in a very hands on safari. After playing through a large chunk of the game co-op, the transition to single player was very painful. After having such a coordinated partner with which to play the game, the AI substitute was remarkably lacking. The only consolation is War Hero mode will scar you for life, even with all the weapons you could ever ask for. Sometimes, infinite ammo just isn't enough. Oh, and there's always The Mercenaries, which retains its awesomeness. Mercs can be played solo or co-op which is a nice touch, and there are leaderboards for after you have unlocked every character.

I have a few notorious beefs with Resident Evil. The first is with Local Co-op. Instead of giving you complete split-screen the game simply scales your window down to fit (shown in image below). This means you end up with a sort of Z screen where everything is really small. The issue is that your HUD is also reduced down and remains on your dramatically shrunken half of the screen in the bottom right corner. Why, for the love of god, do you not stick the HUD, or even the inventory, in the big fucking slab of black you have so unhelpfully provided next to my half of the screen. The design is stupid. It also makes playing really difficult as it's a total bitch to see your laser sight in such a compressed window. Fortunately I have a HD tv, but anyone without is going to have real trouble - especially considering what bitches Capcom are about their HD text size.

My second beef is with the games content direction. The game works best when referencing itself and re-using material from the resident evil universe. It completely fails when it tries to steal mechanics from other games, most notably Gears Of War. The references are so transparent that they just feel like shitty rip-offs. The cover system is used to counter the zombies with guns. The mechanic is slow and clunky and it completely lacks any sense of military professionalism - which completely contradicts the fluency and ease of use the rest of the game so aptly demonstrates. Chris can punch the head off a zombie but he can't fluently take cover behind a chest high wall? Fuck that. Also there are bits in the game where Capcom doesn't even try to hide the fact that they are stealing ideas.

Sheva: "Take down the giant monster using an Satellite Laser. Charge it up so that the laser beams can focus!"
Chris: "What's this thing called anyway, a Hammer Of Dawn?"
Sheva: "Don't be crazy, what a dumb name for a weapon. Its a satellite laser. Now go and grab that Boomsh- I MEAN ROCKET LAUNCHER!!!"

There are a few other little issues I have but those are merely personal preference. For example you are now unable to combine treasure, yet the game insists on dropping a ridiculous assortment of gems in various sizes. It doesn't really make any difference seeing as you simply sell everything anyway, but it was a nice little incentive to search for specific items in 4 so you could stick gems into objects for extra money. The "What are ya buying" Merchant is sorely missed also. The strange process of silently updating weapons at the end of each chapter is slightly alien and random. Lastly the game doesn't contain enough puzzles, or at least, not enough challenging puzzles. Meh, whatever. Oh yeah, I agree with Vinny. The tripple barrel shotgun aims like a cack-handed marsupial.

So yeah, big thumbs up for Resident Evil 5. War Hero mode should keep me busy for a while. More blogs coming soon :)

Thanks For Reading.
Love Sweep