Thank You Ryan

I can't believe it. No matter how many times I read over Rorie's post, or how long I watch the mourning on twitter, it never clicks with me.

It's absolutely unreal.

I've never lost anyone close to me before. There have been deaths in my family, for sure but it's always been with people that I have never known very well. The biggest deaths in my family were always before my time, or happened to people that I never got to know very well. Ryan's passing is the first time I've ever felt like this. It's the first time where I've felt like I lost a friend.

As odd as may be to say, Ryan Davis had a pretty big impact on my life, for better or for worse. As someone who occasionally tuned into GameSpot content during a different era, I never really got to know Ryan and the crew until Giant Bomb was built.

At first, I slowly digested Giant Bomb content, but over time, I began to absolutely adore everything that Giant Bomb had to offer. Ryan, in everything he was in was a joy to behold. Whether he was freaking out at flying trains, admiring cop helmets or suffering through week after week of Game Room torture, he always made his presence special.

Giant Bomb marked a change for me. Never before have I felt so profoundly welcomed to any community on the internet. Thanks to the site that Ryan helped co-found, I had the chance to meet so many incredible people from all over the world. I formed long distance relationships with people who lived in places that I was woefully ignorant of beforehand, and greatly influenced me as a person. Without Ryan, I probably wouldn't have had any of that.

Giant Bomb came into my life at a time where I wasn't sure about anything. I had a pretty terrible time at high school, but Ryan's presence on the bombcast was electrifying. He was so energetic, eager and willing to discuss the dumbest of the dumb and he packed every bombcast to the brim with joy and never, ever failed to put a smile on my face. His chemistry with the crew was unlike anything else, and always helped me through the days. The bombcast is a part of my life now, and I thank him for that.

Even at this point in my life, which I consider to be the lowest, Ryan's presence on live shows, podcasts, quick looks and his manic ramblings on Twitter never failed to cheer me up or pur a smile on my face no matter how lousy my day was. I can't imagine where I would be without him.

Even as an aspiring writer to an extent, Ryan was someone I could look up to. It's almost baffling how well his voice and personality translated seamlessly into words. Whenever I couldn't find a way to describe something, Ryan would knock it out of the park. Everything he wrote was injected full of life. I didn't only admire him as a person, but as a fantastic writer.

It's hard to say goodbye to Ryan. It really is. Every time I read the news, I can't believe it. It never manages to make sense to me. As someone who probably had zero knowledge of my existence, Ryan was such a big part of my life that I can't even begin to fathom what it will be like without him.

Oh, look. I'm tearing up again.

Thank you for everything, Ryan. You were an incredible person to know through the content you produced, and the life you shared with us. Based off what the people close to you have said about you, you sounded like an amazing person to be around. I wouldn't deny that for a second.

Rest in peace, and pray that there's some TV channel that plays Torque on repeat wherever he is.