Pessimism (It's becoming a problem)

by killroycantkill

I know this isn't really the best place to put a blog about how you're feeling at the moment but I've noticed something about myself that is starting to become a problem. I'm REALLY pesimistic towards myself. Keep in mind the factors of I'm not an emo kid, not 12 (I'm 19), not some sort of social outcast that hates society because they don't like my tastes.

I just "graduated" from college, and I say that in quotes since I haven't yet, have to take Statistics in summer school. Gonna go back another program but also looking for a job in the process. But with getting a job and just thoughts in general I'm being WAY too hard on myself. Basically I started noticing this when I get advice from my friend on what to put on the resume. When this happens I notice I miss things that I think should be completely obvious. Other examples are when people just DEMOLISH me in something I thought I was atleast OK at. Then I just go to town on myself and think negative for a while. It really ruins my day and hers as well. Like the slightest negative thought will get me on a tangent of why I suck and why should people be my friend ect. (Rolling down the Emo Kid road, I know)

I don't want to be like I am because it's a burden for me and for others around me, and I know that being hard on myself won't help the situation I just get this way. Can't really remeber the last time I "patted myself on the back" for a job well done... or when I thought I did a job well at all. The best I get to positive thinking is I did "OK" but not anything someone else couldn't do.

Mainly this is just a rant. Reading over this helps me realize how, well, stupid I am being since my life isn't hard at all in comparision to others. (Third world countries and all that) But realizing this doesn't really help me stop thinking this way, it really only postpone it. I mainly want to know how people deal with themselves when they're feeling down. e

(In short)

I'm Pesimistic
I don't want to be pesimistic
How do you guys/girls get yourself out of a self hating rut.