Wanna Wrestle? #7 - Wrestlers... From Spaaace!!!

I made this for the freelance screened job... also, Where's the wrestling wiki site?

Max Moon in his futuristic space gear. Made from materials found on the moon and the McDonald's ball pit.

You have been sent by whomever the overlords of your intergalactic planet are with one goal, which is to try and take over any and all planets that are left in the universe. The spaceship has set its coordinates to "Earth", an inferior planet filled with weak humanoids. The spaceship crash-lands in an empty forest outside of Oklahoma City, and you stumble through the barren wasteland, looking for civilization on this planet called "Earth". There is a giant building with cars outside, and inside the building you find two men in the middle of a professional wrestling ring trying to decide who is the better man. It dawns on you that in order to take over this planet, you must first prove your dominance against the best athletes that this world has to offer... Professional Wrestlers.

Wrestling characters (otherwise known as gimmicks) makes or breaks the success of the actual wrestler that's working the character. Since this website is taking a look at everything extraterrestrial related in movie history, I feel that we need to take a brief look at what has happened inside the weird and whacky world of professional wrestling. The interesting thing about all of the workers featured in this post is that all of them found success in the wrestling business even though that they paired themselves with the worst idea you could ever come up with, a professional wrestler from space.

The Galaxians

Even though they were humiliated and defeated, they never resorted to murdering our race with their laser pistols.

Jim Cornette, one of the greatest wrestling managers of all time, had a rough start in the business. During the late 1980's, Cornette bounced around the NWA locker room managing as many clients as possible. There were some shows where he was hired and fired on the same night by different wrestlers because he could never find a client that would benefit from his managerial skills.

Well, it appears that Jimmy Cornette was able to do some space and time exploration so he could find the tag team known as "The Galaxians". This team consisted of Alpha and Beta, claiming to be from the "Outer Galaxies" or "The Twilight Zone", these two clowns never won a match inside of the wrestling ring.

Even though this team was a disaster, Cornette has stated in his book that managing this team helped him gain the experience and confidence he needed to manage The Midnight Express. And more shockingly, one of The Galaxians (Danny Davis) eventually was the owner of Ohio Valley Wrestling, which used to be the development territory for the WWE.

Lazor-Tron

I'm not making this shit up, ladies and gentlemen.

Back in 1986, the hot new toy for the children is undoubtedly Lazer-Tag. To capitalize and make a marketable character, the NWA gave birth to a man known as Lazor-Tron. The man who is under the mask is none other than a member of the legendary Guerrero family, Hector Guerrero. I'm sure at this time, Hector was glad that this would be the last dumb gimmick he would have to work under before he hit the big time as himself. If only he knew that in under a decade, he would be in a turkey suit dancing with Mene Gene Okerlund...

Let us focus on Lazor-Tron for now. His outfit was certainly out of this world. He wore a white space outfit, featuring futuristic shoulder pads and antennas on the top of his mask. In the middle of Lazor-Trons suit was an official sensor for the Lazer-Tag game. It was a reminder that even though Lazor-Tron looked peaceful and friendly, he could pull out his Lazer-Tag gun at any moment and smoke your ass with invisible Lazer bullets. Believe it or not, Hector Guerrero was the NWA Junior Heavyweight Champion for some time under the gimmick of Lazor-Tron.

Max Moon

Remember, Metal Man should be the first boss you go after.

If you are fond of the nWo era in WCW, you might be able to recognize this name: Konnan. Konnan is a fine wrestler who is a mega star in his home nation of Mexico, and has worked for many companies in America. When WWE gave Konnan a contract in 1992, he came up with a character by the name of Max Moon. Max Moon came down to the ring in one of the most ridiculous costumes ever made in the history of wrestling. Not only was the wrestling gear a mess, but he also came to the ring during his entrance in a jetpack, and had fireworks and streamers shooting out of his hands. I am honestly surprised that Capcom didn't try to get involved, since Max Moon looked strikingly similar to Mega Man during his entrances.

Max Moon has both been announced as from "Outer Space" and from "The Future". When he got in the ring, he's known to start out his matches by doing a couple of rolls on the ground, which must be some sort of way to psych out your opponents on the moon.

The real kicker is that Konnan only wrestled three matches in the WWE before leaving. Since Konnan left, WWE actually passed on the Max Moon gimmick to Paul Diamond before killing Max Moon off in 1993.

The Ultimate Warrior

The main question with adding The Ultimate Warrior to this list is whether or not he qualifies as being from outer space. Warrior has always been billed from "Parts Unknown", so he really could be from anywhere. But I dare you to watch some of his promos and tell me that this man is from our solar system. Even in the video, Warrior is talking about loading up the spaceship with rocket fuel and how he landed here in some sort of capsule:

We all know of the success that The Ultimate Warrior has gained throughout the handful of years that he was one of the main stars inside of the WWE. Not only is The Ultimate Warrior from out of this world, but I'd say that the man from behind the mask is also completely insane. Born under the name of James Hellwig, he changed his name to Warrior in 1993. I didn't forget to add a last name to that, he just goes by the name of Warrior now.

The Ultimate Warrior is the prime example of an extraterrestrial creature. He was a freak, and had no social qualities with anyone else on this planet. He looked and moved differently than anyone else we've ever seen in the wrestling ring. Hell, he even had supernatural powers from time to time. It is awfully dumb, but he somehow managed to be one of the most memorable wrestlers of all time.