Traps and ultimatums.

 Over the passed couple of months, most of my closest friends and family have either moved away or disowned me through some messy altercations. This has left me in a (hopefully) temporary bout of depression and a realization that i am finally, for the first time in my life, alone.
 
So because of a suggestion from one of my last, i intend to start keeping regular blogs rolling in from time to time to help keep my sanity in check (i dont need no fucking diary) and i figure there is no better place to do that than Giant Bomb.
 
So maybe i should start from the beginning, I dropped out of school when i was 16 and got a job in order to help support my mom, sister and nephew when my step dad left. I was put in that position out of a bad twist of fate and i don't blame anyone for it. But as time inched by i kept working 50 hours 6 days a week at a shitty minimum wage job with no sense of support from my family my main crutch became friends and co-workers. This worked out pretty well for a while, hang out with a friend or two on my day off and drink the night away, work during the day and play video games at night. Then i realized i wasn't getting anywere... I was literally stuck supporting my mom till she either decides to get a job or i move out and leave her jobless with an 800$ a month house to live in. I felt trapped in a house that i didnt want to live in and i have absolutely no way of getting out. Of course my alcohol abuse and friendships kept those realizations buried so for the majority of the time, i was fairly happy. 
 
Then about 4 months ago, one of my closest friends moved away without telling me which hit me pretty hard. Sure i had other friends to hang out with but none of them really cared about me, they were just looking for someone to drink and have fun with. This second realization of the friends i had surrounded myself with caused me to lash out at them, i became angry at them when i had no reason to. Eventually the invitations to parties and phone calls stopped, I finally had no one to hang out with, to talk to or to even drink with. I started drinking alone at bars, being sinical and playing people games of pool for alcohol, trying to forget the position i put myself in.
 
So now i have two choices to make with my life and i know that i am the only one who can make them now that i dont ahve any friends to sway me in either direction, to move out and try to live my life for myself for once or to stay where im at and try to rebuild my social circle and continue on.
 
Sorry if i got too personal but it helps me think about things when i type them out. Note this isnt a cry for help or anything, im not trying to get attention. Im simply reaching out trying to maybe find someone who has been through the same thing or someone who can offer some supporting words.