A Summer of Achievements: Week 1

by trace

Just over a week ago, I answered Giant Bomb's question of the "day" and talked about increasing my achievement scores in a bunch of Xbox 360 games I've neglected or otherwise haven't completed to my satisfaction. I feel it'd be appropriate to write about any progress I make on a weekly basis.

It's important to clarify that I'm looking to improve my achievement percentage, rather than just my gamerscore. I could buy a bunch of new games for easy achievements, but I'd much rather work on my completion rate with what I already have. Call me cheap, but I enjoy completing games to the point where I know there's nothing else I can accomplish without an insane amount of dedication.

Anyways, onward to the tales of progress!

Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts

The Joy of Ragequitting

I was already finished with the main story of Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, and considering I thoroughly enjoyed it, purchasing the Lost Challenges DLC was a given. There's not a whole lot to say about the DLC in general: It's tougher than the previous challenges, I cursed a lot over some of the more annoying tasks, and all the single-player tasks were completed in a day or two of sporadic gameplay.

Right, that was quick.I'm seriously surprised this slow car caused a ragequit.
Only Nuts & Bolts' multiplayer achievements remained, and I was expecting the absolute worst. Ranked matches where I have to win by large enough margins to pull off some arrogant maneuvers? Finding someone who actually had the DLC and beating them in multiplayer? I figured that I wouldn't find any opponents in the first place, and that I'd have to join a boosting group of some sort to get achievements.

I didn't expect that I'd get every multiplayer achievement through ragequitting.

The whole ordeal started out rather oddly. In a match type that encouraged naval battles, I decided to try for the achievement of winning with a custom vehicle, and made the mistake of picking a boat with severely underpowered weapons. Finding out all my opponents had opted for planes didn't help quell the sudden feeling that I was utterly screwed. The round seemed hopeless, as I struggled to find a way to shoot egg cannons upward, while dodging deadly barrages torpedoes and lasers raining down on me from the sky.

I had already accepted my loss when, with a minute to go, two of my three opponents got fed up with each other and quit, leaving me to realize the third opponent had been flying off on his own and accumulating quite the negative score. Victory for PsEG, 0 to -6!

This plane isn't that fast, either, and it still caused ragequits. My strange luck continued. An opponent realized the default vehicle for an oval "drag" race couldn't hold up to even the most basic custom racer, and quit after a single lap. Same for a sumo match where I brought a rather vicious vehicle to the fray. Even an underpowered jet car with wings frustrated a crowd of people two turns into a race, mere seconds after I had passed for the lead and dodged their weapon fire.

The ragequits were glorious, and I now proudly stand with an S-Rank in Banjo-Kazooie. My advice for anyone that might be reading this? Don't ever give up in an online match, especially not during a race. You never know when your opponent might make a major mistake or lose their connection.

You lose 100% of the races you don't finish, right? Not counting poorly conceived ranking systems where disconnects don't harm your standing, of course.

Virtual-ON

My Day as the Glass Joe of Robots

Having earned a full 1250/1250, I moved on from my daily grind as bear and bird to frantic fights with giant mechs. A month or so ago, I won a copy of Virtual-ON when Major Nelson dropped a few Xbox Live codes into his chatroom while flying to E3. Playing games obtained with little to no effort will be a recurring trend, I assure you. I am cheap to a fault.

It all looks like a blur to me.Anyways, Virtual-ON has perhaps the easiest single-player mode I've ever played. Upon dropping the difficulty down to very easy, the only tactics necessary for victory involved learning how to move the mech, dashing, and firing at anything looking like the enemy mech. As a person who considers himself inept at fighting games but skilled at repeating the same tired tactic to death, I had no trouble whatsoever. Only the Japanese fanatics in multiplayer stood in my way of an S-Rank.

Oh, wait, the multiplayer achievements only require playing ten ranked matches, not winning them. No problem, then!

It's a lot easier facing players with hundreds of matches under their belt when you don't care about beating them. These matches had some of the most pathetic tactics I've ever employed in a fighting game. Dash right, fire rockets. Wait. Dash right again, fire more rockets. Dash...left, fire more rockets! I'd also open several rounds with a powerful laser blast that usually caught the enemy off-guard and cut their health in half, which usually ensured that they beat me with only half their health remaining.

I was fully expecting a 0-10 record, but an unsuccessful Japanese player showed up for my tenth fight, allowing me to pull a stunning upset, and retire with a 1-9 (1 KO) record. I also ended up earning my first negative rating for not having enough skill. For once, I agree.

PGR4

Why My Pinky Finger Still Hurts

There's not much to talk about this week regarding Project Gotham Racing 4. Its multiplayer is quite desolate, so I've had to join a group looking to boost achievements. More on that next week.

I did, however, manage to nab the game's only split-screen achievement by myself. The "Back It Up!" achievement requires both players in a split-screen match to finish 1st and 2nd against at least one AI opponent while reversing across the finish line. The only way for me to complete this normally would involve inviting a friend over for the sole purpose of accomplishing the achievement, and let's face it -- that'd be awkward as hell, not to mention a little sad. Well, sadder.

Fast forward to me struggling to hold two controllers in my hands, keeping one car stable on an oval track while my pinky finger holds down the throttle on the bottom controller for the second car, which wall rides around the track. Ten laps and several stretched-out and aching fingers later, I had the achievement.

Perhaps my effort was excessive for just ten points of gamerscore. I keep telling myself it's the memories and experiences that'll stick with me to make this all worthwhile...not to mention the arthritis.

Week 1 Stats

Starting Score: 16500
End of Week 1 Score: 16820
Weekly Gain: 320 points!

Starting Completion: 69.25%
End of Week 1 Completion: 70.01%
Weekly Gain: 0.76%!

NEXT WEEK:

PGR4 and the "fun" of organized boosting
Zombie Wranglers and the "fun" of games that aren't fun
More attempts to find fun and not "fun" while gaining gamerscore!