WWE Summerslam night 1 review and match ratings.

WWE Summerslam Night 1

Welcome to WWE Superslam! I mean Summerslam. Coming to you from MetLife Stadium in New Jersey. Right off the bat, I can say the stage setup looks like a cross section of an aviation airspace diagram, usually referred to as resembling an upside down wedding cake. We start the show with host Cardi B getting the crowd mildly hyped. Then we get our pyro and ballyhoo before the camera swaps to Jey Uso as Michael Cole welcomes us to, and I quote “Yeet Jersey”. Tanahashi save us all… Anyway, on to our first match.

Spoilers for all matches below.

Roman Reigns & Jey Uso def Bron Breakker & Bronson Reed w/ Paul Heyman: Jey Uso comes down through the crowd, and is still over as fuck. But still nowhere near as over as the OTC. The Brons as they are apparently known as enter with Paul Heyman at their side. Bronson Reed has been calling himself the Tribal Thief since stealing Roman’s shoes, which is fucking hilarious if I’m being honest. The match starts hot, with Reigns and Uso shitcanning the Brons. Jey’s music plays and he starts yeeting again before hitting a big dive after Roman was pulled out of the ring. Now that the match has started, I must state the obvious, Bron Breakker is a fucking star. It looks like Jey Uso is taking the heat in this one as the Brons put it to him for a good chunk of time. At one point, Bronson gave Bron a piggyback ride and they both splashed Jey. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen that before. There was a really good cutoff to prevent the hot tag as Breakker grabbed a diving Jey out of the air as Bronson yanked Roman off the apron. A short while later, we get our hot tag to Roman and he bumps Breakker around before hitting a big suicide dive on the Brons. He completely overshot and damn near wiped out a cameraperson, but damn it looked cool. After some back and forth, we get a BIG dive from Bronson. Later on, Roman spears Breakker through the barricade before hitting Bron with a superman punch and a 1-D. Breaker recovers and breaks up the pin. Soon after, Breakker goes for a spear on Jey, Roman pushes Jey out of the way and takes it instead, superkicks Breakker out of the ring, then hits Bronson with a spear and a top rope splash for the big win Uce. Few things hit like a very good tag team match to open the show. Paul E bailed early so the Tribal Chief didn’t get his shoes back, as unfortunate as that is. ★★★★★★★☆☆☆

Allies of Convenience (Charlotte/Alexa) def Judgment Day (Roxanne/Raquel) for the WWE Women's Tag Team Championships: I’ll admit, I have been enjoying the Charlotte and Alexa interactions quite a bit, so there should be some fun stuff in this match. Charlotte is out first, followed by Alexa. Champs are out next. Alexa and Charlotte argue about who starts, but Judgement Day sneak attack them. The R & R express work Charlotte over and do all the heel shit they can. Charlotte is able to tag in Alexa, who then gets her shine in before being cut off. The heels beat up on Alexa for a long while, before we get a double down into the hot tag to Charlotte, who hits a big cross body from the top. After some more moves, Charlotte hits a phenomenal moonsault onto both of her opponents. Charlotte gets cut off and Alexa comes in to save her, but accidentally hits Charlotte instead. A bit later, Alexa drags Charlotte to the corner to tag herself in. She goes for Sister Abigail and Charlotte stands up behind her. It looks like she’s going to give Alexa a receipt, but boots Raquel instead. Alexa hits her finish on Roxanne for the win. Good match, but I’m more interested in where the Alexa/Charlotte story goes after this. ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆. This was a solid match that did what it needed to do to advance the story.

Sami Zayn def Karrion Kross: Karrion and Scarlett are out first, for this one. We haven’t gotten a recap package and I don’t watch Raw, so I have no idea why these two are fighting. All I know is if either Scarlett or Sami Zayn are on my screen, I’m a happy guy and this match has both of them so… The two guys in the ring go back and forth for a bit before Kross takes over with the occasional hope spot for Sami. Kross wants Sami to say… something… and calls him a “Stupid Bastard a few times. I still have no idea what the story here is and a video package would have helped. Scarlett hands Kross a steel pipe then distracts the ref. Sami is able to avoid the pipe and hit a Blue Thunder Bomb for a near fall. Sami begins getting more aggressive with his strikes. Scarlett places the pipe at Sami’s feet and he picks it up before contemplating using it. He tosses it out and almost gets rolled up. Sami then hits an exploder suplex in the corner, then a Helluva Kick for the win. They certainly went hard into the storytelling aspect of this feud. And the match was one that certainly happened. ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆.

We then get a memorial package for Hulk Hogan. I’ve been told that if I don’t have anything nice to say about someone, then I should say nothing at all. Anyway, here are some of my favorite Ozzy Osbourne songs.

Bark at the Moon

Crazy Train

The Ultimate Sin

Paranoid

Children of the Grave

War Pigs

N.I.B

Supernaut

Hellraiser w/ Lemmy

Anyway, how about we get back to the rasslin.

Tiffany Stratton def Jade Cargill for the WWE Women's Championship: Jade is out first, entrance complete with fake snow for a rather cool effect. Tiffy is out next and gets a big reaction. My stream froze and came back to Tiffany hitting a dive through the middle and top ropes. I don’t know nor really care what I missed. After some back and forth. Jade hits a big spinning powerbomb for a two count. They go back and forth some more before Tiffany busts out a beautiful Falcon Arrow as a counter for Jade’s attempted suplex. There are some really good counters throughout this match. Jade goes for her finish off the second rope, but Tiffany counters before hitting the PME for the win. Good but short match with some really cool counters. ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

Drew McIntyre & Logan Paul def Randy Orton & Jelly Roll: We have the match that I’ve been least looking forward to. I will say that Logan Paul and Jelly Roll have been doing some fun stuff in the lead up and it’s gotten more attention to the show, but I would still rather just watch Drew and Randy over any of the celebrity stuff. Logan is out first. A bunch of fans are holding up signs that say Logan Paul is an Outsider, and I feel like Logan isn’t anywhere near as deserving of that label as Hall or Nash, but maybe that’s just me. Drew is out next. Jelly Roll comes out next and gets on the mic to introduce Randell Keith, who gets the crowd sing along that he's been getting for a while. Logan cheap shots Jelly to start then taunts Randy. Jell Roll then tags himself in so he can go at it with Logan. Logan gets some heat on Jelly, but Mr. Roll gets some offense in. As much as I agree with Kenny Omega about Logan Paul, I will give credit to Logan for bumping his ass off for Jelly Roll here. Drew gets tagged in, goads Jelly into fighting him and also sells for Jelly before hitting a headbutt. While putting some heat on Jelly, Drew looks at Randy and says, “I hear voices too and they say you’re screwed”. Logan gets the tag and continues the heat on Jelly Roll. Eventually, Jelly Roll gets the tag to Randy, who comes in and cleans house. The action moves to the ringside area where Randy slams Drew and Logan on the announce table before eating a Claymore kick. After a ton of action on the outside, Jelly Roll ends up on the announce table and Logan does a Stone Cold bash with Prime bottles, then hits a huge frog splash from the ring post to the table. Major props to Jelly Roll for taking that move. He gets taken to the rampway by officials and now Randy is on his own. Logan and Drew keep putting the heat on Orton, but Jelly Roll comes back to make the save. Logan and Drew once again are bumping their asses off for Jelly Roll. Jelly goes to get Logan, eats an elbow, Logan goes to the second rope and jumps at Jelly who catches Logan with a powerslam. Drew hits the claymore on Jelly, Randy hits an RKO on Drew, Logan sends Orton into the post before hitting a frog splash for the win. For what it was, it was quite entertaining. You could tell Jelly Roll has limited experience, but he did very well for his first match. It did everything it needed to and was pretty entertaining. ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

CM Punk def Gunther for the World Heavyweight Championship: As much as I didn’t have hopes for the last match, I had big hopes that these two should be able to close the show with a bang. The crowd is firmly behind Punk at the beginning. We start with some chain rasslin, which is always a sign that we’re going to have a lengthy match. Soon after, Gunther just wrecks Punk with a chop, but we quickly return to Punk working the arm. As someone who did love some chain wrestling during my time in the business, this match is already the best match on the show. After some more of that, Punk goes for a springboard but gets me with several stiff chops from Gunther. As someone who hated getting chopped, mostly because almost nobody on the indies knows how to do it properly, this match hurts to watch (in defense of Indy wrestlers, most of them didn’t have 2 Cold Scorpio teach them how to do it properly like I did, so it's not really their faults). Punk starts to comeback but gets cut off, and this match has stepped up into the next gear. Gunther continues to brutalize Punk’s chest with chops. After some more very good rasslin, Gunther gets Punk in a sharpshooter, which Punk reverses into a leg hold, then a sharpshooter of his own, which was fucking great. I would steal the shit out of that if I were still wrestling. After many more chops, Punk’s chest is bleeding from all the abuse, which I can say that I haven’t seen before. We did get a scary powerbomb that looked like it legit rocked Punk. Gunther is just beating the piss out of Punk, but Punk keeps fighting back. This is a great match because I am a huge fan of the more physical style that Gunther excels at, and Punk is equally holding up his end of things. After Punk pulls Gunther’s legs out from under him while Gunther was standing on the announce table, we have a ton of color. Gunther is covered in blood and is backing off Punk, but Punk has his second wind. Punk hits a big elbow from the top before going for the GTS, but Gunther counters with a good old fashioned sleeper hold. Punk counters that into a GTS, then hits another for the win. Great physical match between these two. Gunther fucking rules. ★★★★★★★★☆☆

After the match, Punk is celebrating his new title, when Seth Rollins comes out to a huge pop. He comes out on crutches and points to the Money in the Bank briefcase before walking away. He stops at the entrance way and takes off his knee brace and runs down to the ring for the cash in. Seth hits Punk with the briefcase multiple times, then officially cashes in. Why has nobody done that before?

Seth Rollins def CM Punk for the World Heavyweight Championship: Anyway, curbstomp, 1, 2, 3. Seth Rollins is your new World Heavyweight champion. The Brons come out to celebrate with Seth and Paul E. The show goes off the air with Seth standing tall with his crew.

Overall it was an alright show. The opener and main were the standouts with varying levels of solid to good being sprinkled in throughout. Even the weakest match, which was Kross vs Zayn, had some good storytelling, but without a recap package, I had no idea what the reasoning behind any of it was supposed to be. I would have to give WWE Summerslam Night 1 ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆. Thanks for reading and we'll see you tomorrow night for night 2.