2024 Had Too Many Goddamned Video Games

I mean come on, what are we doing anymore? How is a motherfucker supposed to keep up, huh? I had this whole thing planned where I was going to do the usual spiel at the top, you know “boy howdy 2024 was a fucking year, huh? Enormous parts of it sucked shit! Some parts were great! I finally read all of Berserk and now have an entire bookshelf that is nothing but those Deluxe Volumes because I am insane, etc.” but then I opened up the list of games released in 2024 and good fucking god.

I did pick up Berserk though, and watched the ’97 anime (which is perfection), the Golden Age Memorial Series (which isn’t as good, just watch the three movies, they’re better), and the 2016 series (which looks like dog-ass, even if you’re watching the cleaned up bluray release – it’s pretty faithful to the manga though, which is nice I guess?). I’m not sure that all actually happened this year, mind you – I do know for sure that the manga thing happened this year, but holy shit 2024 felt like a decade. Every year seems set to do that as we slide further into horrible climate-apocalypse dystopia, but hey, I’m here to bury 2024, not to praise it.

I guess I am here to praise some video games though. Let’s do that. As always, this list is just me scrolling through the yearly release and picking the ones that I played and enjoyed until I get sick of it and skip to the part where I crown a winner and hand out some also-rans. In the interest of full transparency, I don’t even know what my game of the year is as I’m writing this, I’ll figure it out as I go along, don’t worry.

Best Game With Personas in It That I’ll Beat Eventually, Like in 2029 or Something: Persona 3 Reload

You know, I tried putting this one off, because I also have a Persona 5 Royal save going and a Persona 4 Golden save going and a Persona 3 Portable save going and at some fucking point I really need to just beat one of these goddamned Persona games instead of what I have been doing, which is constantly picking them up on new platforms and starting games there. I’ve been at the final dungeon of 4 Golden on my Vita for the better part of five years, for fuck’s sake. The fuck is wrong with me?

Anyway, Persona 3 Reload is really good – they stuck enough quality of life improvements in there to choke a donkey and wouldn’t you know it, the story and characters in Persona 3 still kick ass! Even Junpei, who can kiss my ass. Gameplay’s also real good, and I don’t think there’s ever been a dungeon as nice as Tartarus – Mementos does, maybe, but the running around is good and the music is good and the fighting might be repetitive but it’s just so fucking slick I can’t get mad at it. The only thing this game didn’t do which I would’ve killed to see it do is put the damn female protagonist option in. A real bummer! I think she’s neat! Sue me!

Best Defender of Democracy: Helldivers II

This is one of those games I forgot actually came out this year, because I played the shit out of it for a couple months early on and then kinda fell off of it. This is mostly because a bunch of other fuckin games came out and I have the attention span of a gnat. The internet tells me I have ADHD, but what the fuck does the internet know anyway, huh? Anyway, it turns out if you pick the game up and play it now you will still have a really fucking good time – especially if you have some friends to play it with! Even if you don’t though, you’ll have fun when the rando you’re playing with accidentally sets off a nuke because they weren’t looking where they were shooting. You can fist bump it out later, you know? We’re all friends here, out defending democracy together! No, I don’t mind that you put a turret down behind me and I got ripped in half by it, why would you think that?

I cannot believe the world is slowly being taken over by people who think the government in Starship Troopers is aspirational. We’re so fucked.

Best Lawnmower Game: Hover Bovver (part of Llamasoft: The Jeff Minter Story)

I specifically want to shout out Hover Bovver, because it is one of the first games I ever played as a kid on my grandpa’s Commodore 64 (the actual first game I remember playing was Radar Rat Race, on the Commodore 64 my parents owned which did not have all the bells and whistles the one my grandpa had), and when I found out that Jeff Minter was responsible I was fucking delighted! It’s very simple: you are trying to mow the lawn with a lawn mower you’ve borrowed from your neighbor without telling him. If your neighbor catches you, you have to borrow another lawn mower from a different neighbor. You can sic a dog on your neighbor to distract him. Don’t go over the flowers or you will have to deal with a pissed-off gardener too. I am terrible at it. It is, nevertheless, extremely good.

Best Dragons: Dragons Dogma 2

Oh you were so close to getting Game of the Year from me, Dragon’s Dogma 2: You are basically just More Dragon’s Dogma, which is all I really wanted you to be! You added ox carts for fast(er) travel, which are great and have resulted in some real fuckin’ shenanigans for me and my crew of pawns. You just ran a bit shit and also I keep finding myself thinking “yeah this is good but I also could just play Dragon’s Dogma again” every so often. They tried to make everyone horny for the Sphinx, but they just couldn’t quite pull it off. At least not for me.

That aside, if you haven’t played this game what the fuck is your problem? Play it! It’s such a good time, I cannot express how much fun I have had with it. I am in a group chat with two other people, and 99% of it is just us occasionally sending pawn quotes every couple of months. I have very cool and normal friends.

This is another game that I kinda forgot came out this year! Fucked up, right? It just kinda feels like it was always out. I have always been running around getting harassed by dragons while one of the pawns I summoned in keeps begging me to come look at this chest they found in another world, please bro I promise it will be worth it.

Most Crows: Crow Country

A thing I did this year was get surprisingly into survival horror games in a way I really haven’t been before. Crow Country was part of this trend, and you know what? It whips. I wish the aiming didn’t feel so bad, but everything else about it rules. I have died a billion times, because I am very bad at it. It’s got a real good look to it, putting the whole PS1 aesthetic to good use.

Best Game With Demons in It: Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance

Kind of a cheap one to put on here, or it would be if they didn’t do such a good job with the other campaign. This game rules, and they stuck some nice quality of life stuff in there (save anywhere!) along with some fun little features (go talk to your demons and see which ones flirt with you!) and, obviously, it’s still an SMT game so the combat’s fun as hell. It’s got style for days, but it’s not as flashy about it as a Persona. It’s just quietly confident that you will think the blue androgyne is cool, and they’re absolutely right, I do.

Best Excuse to Play More Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree

I mentioned that I got really into Berserk at the top of this, and what a delight it was to hop into an expansion that is somehow even more Berserk-coded than all of From’s other games which are also, to be clear, extremely Berserk-inspired. There are probably like a billion bad YouTube videos out there which will explain All The Berserk References in Elden Ring with a thumbnail of a guy with both hands on the sides of his face and an arrow pointing to like, a sword with red text saying THEY PUT THIS IN TOO!?

Whatever, this was like everyone’s game of the year last year and it turns out the DLC is also extremely fucking good, even if it does kick my ass even worse than the base game itself did. Before you ask, no, I haven’t gotten to the end, but I am currently killing a shitload of dragons to work my way up to Bale and lemme tell you that is a fun time. I like the alternate leveling system, although finding the ones I want has been kind of a pain in my ass, mostly because I don’t play with a guide. No, I just kinda stumble around until I run across it by accident, as God intended. To struggle is to live! The Skull Knight agrees with me!

Best “Wow This Needed Some Work, Huh?”: Doom I + II

I have already talked too much about DOOM, so I will keep this one short: This repackaging was kind of a piece of shit when it first came out. There were weird glitches with the KEX engine, the mod browser didn’t have a fucking search function, and it was all kind of ass. The best thing it had going for it was putting all the official DOOM releases under one roof (including SIGIL, my favorite of the DOOM episodes) and also featuring a new campaign by some old id veterans and some other folks that is… fffffine, I guess? Not my favorite, and the new weapons and enemies are both kind of whatever, even if it is neat they put those old beta sprites to good use. I’m a big fan of the id Vault too, which has a bunch of unused assets and production art and stuff! They’ve put a bunch of work into it since its launch, and now it’s probably the best option for playing DOOM – apart from some philosophical disagreements I have re: their mod browser trying to make DOOM a walled garden which I’ve gone into before. And come on, you deleted Thatcher’s Tech Base for being “too political?” Get bent. Thatcher was a monster and death was too good for her.

Oh, and the Andrew Hushult remixes of the soundtracks whip ass.

The “Oh No, am I the Asshole?” Award: Mouthwashing

You’d think this would go to Silent Hill 2, but nope! This was great, even if I did think the stealth section (such as it was) felt totally unnecessary and also sucked. Worth it to experience the whole terrible tale, though! Plus it was only a couple hours and change long, so I can forgive it a lot for telling its story and getting the fuck out. Bless you, developers of short narrative experiences!

The ”Oh I am Definitely the Asshole, huh?” Award presented by Holy Shit Bloober Team Made a Game I Liked?: Silent Hill 2

I was so ready for this to suck ass! It did not! It turns out Bloober had a good one in them, and all it took was remaking one of the most beloved horror games of all time under strict supervision! The soundtrack was good, the visuals were good, and even though I thought some of the levels were a little too long (looking at you, the Prison, with your five billion goddamned spider mannequins) I got to the end and was really pleased with the whole experience! It even ran mostly well on my PC, some stuttering during transitional areas aside.

Best Brain-Eating: Slitterhead

Akira Yamaoka still has the fucking juice when it comes to soundtracks man, I’ll tell you what. Slitterhead fucking rules: it’s gross, it’s a little janky, you do a lot of time traveling in it, there’s guys eating brains, there’s some of the best fucking characters of the year (I WILL DIE AND/OR KILL FOR YOU, TRI), it’s just…

Look, you don’t get a lot of weird games like this anymore! The combat is actually great! I think they adjusted the parry window at some point so it’s a little less janky? I bought this thing like day one and have never looked back or regretted it even a little.

Best Other Game with Demons in It: Sorry, We’re Closed

I haven’t hit the end of this one yet but holy shit this game rules. Gorgeous aesthetics, hot demons with multiple mouths, an absolute disaster of a protagonist, and more Silent Hill-inspired gameplay than you can shake a stick at! Plus a soundtrack that extremely took me off-guard when I got to the first major boss fight. Like holy shit man, okay! Okay! This rules!

Best Excuse to Watch Raiders of the Lost Ark Again: Indiana Jones and the Great Circle

Much like Silent Hill 2’s remake, I was kind of expecting this to not be that great! Machine Games has never let me down before, sure, and Indiana Jones is a fun character who punches and/or shoots Nazis, so he’s cool too, it just felt like we were probably going to get Wolfenstein But You Have a Fedora On based on some of those early trailers and like… if you’re gonna do that just give me more Wolfenstein, you know?

Then instead they dropped an immersive sim in my lap where you get to solve ancient puzzles and bitch about how the mechanisms don’t survive for thousands of years and break so very many guitars over the heads of unsuspecting Italian fascists and Nazis alike and goddamn it’s a good time! What a nice surprise this was at the end of the year!

And the Game of the Year Is….

Llamasoft: The Jeff Minter Story

I have a deep love for Jeff Minter’s particular brand of game – I mean I gave Hover Bovver its own little spot up there, so I assume that made it obvious – but this collection is such a fucking triumph. What a celebration of one of the greatest indie developers to ever do it – and still be doing it, no less! He cannot be stopped! He’s making cool shit right now and I cannot wait to see it! This is a great collection of all his games up through Tempest 2000, and while I would’ve liked to see it go even further beyond, the real treasure isn’t just in the games you can play (there are some real good ones in there, like the aforementioned Tempest 2000, Llamatron, Gridrunner, Hover Bovver, Attack of the Mutant Camels, Idris Alpha, and some others I can’t be bothered to remember at the moment just trust me), it’s in the ability to read Minter’s old zines and development documents and old articles and reviews. Minter really embodies the spirit of independent development, and looking at the current landscape it sure feels like it might be nice to have more people moving in that direction. He is unapologetically himself and he makes the games he wants to make and keeps the lights on which is a miracle in and of itself. It helps that the games he wants to make are almost uniformly a blast to play, but still!

It's hard not to come away from watching/playing/reading through this one and not feel the urge to create something, to do it in whatever way seems best at the time. I don’t make games (I write nonsense, as this whole list proves), but damn if I didn’t come away feeling creatively energized and ready to make something I think is cool.

Also, and I really have to stress this, but the games are very good. Easy to learn and difficult to master. Put on some tunes (Minter would, most likely, recommend some Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin) and get blasting. It is a hell of a way to spend an evening. Or more than one, if you’re me.

Okay let’s wrap this up

I told you there were a lot of games, and these are just the ones I liked! I haven’t even gotten to the other stuff I planned for this, like talking about how I bought a Sega Dreamcast and played some real fuckin’ bangers on there (mostly Shenmue and Shenmue II, but you know what Sword of the Berserk: Rage of Guts (or Gut’s Rage, depending on where it came from I guess) is pretty damn good too.

Hell, Silent Hill 2 wasn’t even the best Silent Hill game I played this year! That was Silent Hill 3! I could ramble about that for ages too! Oh and what about Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, which I went back to on my Analogue Pocket and have been really enjoying? Or how about Tears of the Kingdom, which I have also gotten way back into recently? I could go into all that shit too!

But I’m not gonna. Here’s a few quick highlights that didn’t quite make the cut:

The “Please God I Already Have So Many Castlevanias Cut it Out” Award: Castlevania Dominus Collection

Jonathan!

Charlotte!

Jonathan!

Charlotte!

….

Portrait of Ruin rules.

Best “Hey Quake Was Neat, What if We Hexen’d It Up a Little?” Experience: Wrath: Aeon of Ruin

I think this is kind of cheating really, because I’ve had the early access version for ages, but it actually came out this year and you know what? It’s good. Better than Daikatana, I will tell you that for free!

Reading it back, that sounds meaner than I intended. It’s good! I enjoy it! I just don’t have much to say about it because I actually played most of it like two years ago, but whatever, it bears mentioning.

Best Hyper-Exaggerated Animation Which Haunts My Dreams: Arzette: The Jewel of Faramore

This game wouldn’t work if the gameplay weren’t actually good. If I wanted to look at janky animation and hear weird voice acting while playing a miserable experience, the Zelda CD-I games are already there. Arzette cleverly put a good game in there, though, so it’s fine. I had a good time with it, and I will have a good time with it again, probably!

Most Annoying Mutants: S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2

Man I fuckin’ hate those invisible tentacle-face guys. This is a good game (and it being developed while in the middle of a fucking warzone is an achievement on its own) with its own weird sensibilities and great visuals and also I died like 15 times in the prologue to the same fuckin’ invisible tentacle face-guy and nearly bounced off the game entirely as a result. I am glad I stuck with it though, because it turns out this is a fun video game! Who knew?

The “Oh God I’m Sorry I’ll Come Back to You I Swear” Award for Excellence: Unicorn Overlord

Okay so funny story about this one: A thing that happened to me in March was that the company I worked for sold off the part of the company that was paying my salary and, whoops, forgot to not sell me with it. This caused me a small amount of stress, and after going into the office to talk to the people who sold me and ask them if maybe they could see their way to not doing that, I wandered into the local Media Markt and bought this game before heading back to my apartment, where I spent the next few days playing it in a daze as I waited to hear just who the fuck was paying my salary now and what my future looked like. I don’t recommend it!

I do recommend Unicorn Overlord, though! Unfortunately for it, due to its being tied together in my brain with a stressful time, I kinda put it down as soon as All That Mess was sorted out and haven’t gone back to it! I really should, though, because the art is great and the battle system is both complex and simple and you know, that’s just Neat.

Fin.

Come back next time, whenever that is, when I talk about something else. Maybe the Dreamcast, maybe SIGIL II, maybe I just write a whole thing about Berserk in general and put that up somewhere else. Who knows?