Hades Duology Presents A Boy Band Called Snakes 2

A critic’s Japanese casting for possible Metal Gear Solid 2 Sons of Liberty remake

The cover of Metal Gear Solid Substance 2 Manhattan by Kenji Yano under the pen name “Hitori Nojima”. Raiden in this book follows the Drew Scanlon Protocal of “When in doubt, throw a grenade.”

Introduction: A hideous Kafkaesque game.

That motherfucker can write!

-----Dr. Austin Walker on Franz Kafka

Shame the same cannot be said about Hideo Kojima. In fact, the good doctor put “poorly written” between “over lengthy” and “questionably acted” to describe Kojima cutscenes. I thought so when first experiencing MGS2 as a 16-year-old, with an abysmal translation to Chinese on top no less. The 36 years old wannabe critic writing this does not think too differently.

MGS2 is undoubtedly Kafkaesque when it comes to individual thinking about what exactly did that elusive “they” see in this rambling mess. Apparently, it had gone the other way around. Project Itoh, author of MGS4’s novelization, had his own Kafkaesque nightmare in 2001: when he saw all the negative Japanese language feedback on MGS2. “Preachy” and “cliche” were among the top complains. Regardless of the merits one can find in the game, “Yes, no fucking shit!” to those complains.

Youtubers complaining about video games lecturing to them nowadays probably never met “Professor MGS2”, “ modern pronoun clarification” is a breeze when compared to Kojima and crew dropping wiki pages left and right. Of course, current day polygonal extravaganzas got other mechanic ways to waste people’s time, but it’s not like those likely corporate lackeys would say.

Like Alex “Bad Games Man” Novarro once said, Hideo Kojima’s mechanic take is mostly bullshit. Take the On-Site Procurement in MGS2 for example. Anyone had picked up ammo from downed enemies in first-person shooters or looted fallen foes in role-playing games would call the finger gymnastic to do practically armed robbery in Sons of Liberty utter wank. This game had the balls to put up sci-fi narrative justification in front of player just picking guns but it’s just the limitation of Kojima and crew’s design.

As my 21 years old self experienced MGS2 again around the same time as Skyrim, the lack of crouch walk is a thorn on my side. Funny enough, Solid Snake crouch walks a lot in Yano’s novelization. So, if that Yes-man would make such change then what were Kojima and crew smoking when they decided that the prone was the only to move in low-profile? All in all, Sons of Liberty is in a mechanic uncanny valley that really needs a remake. Narratively it also need tighten up, and some younger cast members are to breath life into the game.

1 Set-up for a con of mine

Maaya Sakamoto as Olga Gurlukovich

(Ms. Sakamoto’s metrosexual, but still rather feminine vocal felt very Nyx to me.)

Let’s start with another one-time Hideo Kojima collaborator. Ms. Sakamoto was in Death Stranding voicing twin sisters. With Olga the cyborg ninja always being described as having a metrosexual voice, this just old enough to be gob smacked by MGS1 yet never managed to become a gamer voice actor just sounds right to me especially the scene of distancing it would bring. Besides, I rather want to hear her and the voice I want for Sunny to play a mother-daughter duo, even if they would not share a scene.

Now onto other bullshit, namely the tranquilizer. As a keeper of firearms of Royal Armory museum pointed out, modifying an existing gun into a less-than-lethal tranquilizer is impossible, so if this military science fiction wants to keep its “science”, Snake better went into with some made up tranquilizer rather than that Barretta M9.

Got to hand it to Kojima and crew for their ability to taking in some movie tropes this uncriticized. Solid Snake going into the Tanker armed with a mere tranquilizer is taking the “action hero does not kill cop” trope started with First Blood for he would be up against US Marines just doing their jobs. Then the game went into Rambo: First Blood Part 2 even before one can play it by having Russian mercs arriving at the scene. Then it’s free for all, choke them or knock them out then throw them over board.

But I guess the tranquilizer is here for Olga. She got to give birth to the little girl who saved didn’t she? Just hope that it takes as little as one shot to her chest like the novel rather than the plot armor “A Hideo Kojima Game” asked me to chew on.

Interlude 1 the future Mr. and Mrs. Roboto

Time for the player character and his hetero sexual love interest. Or “lady love” if I felt compelled to be polite. Strangely enough, the duo to play those love birds would be directed to be more robotic in different ways. Nothing says “Kafkaesque” louder than solider and spy forced to be more machine like.

2 Like a comic book superhero

Natsuki Hanae as Raiden

(Mr. Hanae’s nice boy voice would make a pale reaper named Thanatos come alive in Hades.)

Now this is one lucky bastard rising to fame in a time when it looked like “comic book superhero broadly speaking is back on the menu, boys”. So, this man eventually became the center of assemble in a global hit titled Kimetsu No Yaiba, where his character wields single-edge Japanese swords like Raiden. But Mr. Hanae is beyond getting cast as the center of assemble, manga artist had probably modeled center of assemble after him.

As seen in the IMDB page, this man’s public persona can be described as “Peter Parker like”. I would be surprised if Ken “Ocalon” Takakura in Dandadan was not partially modeled after him during concept stage and he was not the manga creator’s first choice when the book got its animated adaption.

Anway, about Raiden’s first meeting with Solid Snake (No, I refuse to type out that pseudo name.). Personally, I regard it as the point where Sons of Liberty really began to drag on its narrative pacing. Not that the game moves at the breakneck pace before that with all those slow-motions and mission briefing. Just that after this “clash between Snakes”, the hope of this game pick the pace up is all lost.

What’s up with those 2 men having a dick measuring contest on the subject of VR training? Why would Raiden brag about how much VR training he went through when being asked his field experience? “None of your damn business”, “I’m not at the liberty to discuss that with you, sir” or "It's classified" would suffice. Good thing Kojima never wrote an action film script. It would be un-fucking-sufferable!

3 “Nintendo’s” package deal

Nao Toyama as Rosemary

(Ms. Toyama’s more hauntingly seductive voice would make me want to tell Hades’ Megara to step on me.)

Aforementioned Mr. Hanae is the “Japanese Troy Baker” to me. Mainly for the appearances of his voice in a pair of 2017 games bit like Baker’s in two 2013 releases. Fire Emblem Shadow of Valansia only on 3DS would be the counterpart to Bioshock Infinite as NieR Automata to the Last of Us. Nao Toyama voiced the playable girl in the Fire Emblem Gaiden remake, a character pretty much positioned as the love interest for the playable boy.

Toyama and Hanae later co-starred in the Japan-China co-produced comic book adaption titled Gleipnir of 2020. (Some imagery in that book’s later stages sure made the continuation of a Japan-China co-production in these post-Covid days near impossible.) The chemical between the two leads is probably the best thing in that messy show, something that can be transplanted into Sons of Liberty.

Ms. Toyama is a good voice actor rose to stardom for the variety of her voices. With Rosemary being “nagging wife”, “a shrink trying to help” and “cold spy” at the same time, Ms. Toyama’s talent can be in full display here. As for should the Patriots’ fake Rose being more hauntingly robotic or just hamming up villainy, it’s up to whoever does the voice direction of this theoretic remake.

Ah, yes, Toyama should just deliver the line “Cool like an anime hero” as the son of Raiden and Rose as well, she can play boys that young convincingly, just at a slightly lower pitch than her performance in Capcom’s Pragmata.

Interlude 2 the three stooges

Of the names listed on Wiki, I originally planned to cut out 4. But, due to reading the Japanese language novelization, I only cut one. “Russian colonel” just ain’t an archetype Kojima and crew could make any sauce out of, not even when they focused on them being sadists. So, former colonel Sergei Gurlukovich, a very nice guy all things considered, is out! The one US marine he pointed gun at got more sauce than him.

4 Mecha merchant

Ryotaro Okiayu as Scott Dolphe

(I can imagine Mr. Okiayu as Ares, the titular boss in the one and only God of War.)

How Ryotaro Okiayu became an one-time and one-time only Hideo Kojima collaborator is a funny story. Hideo Kojima always wanted the director of cult classic Tetsuo for the role, then for some reason not stated (Very likely just scheduling conflict given the lack of drama.) on the Japanese wiki page, anime usual suspect Ryotaro Okiayu fitted in the role. Then the director of cult classic Tetsuo just got cast for Vamp in MGS4.

Back on track, I never noticed Dolphe senior’s speech when playing the game, there is a timer to keep my eyes on there after all. Then reading the novel, seeing how he hyping up Metal Gear Ray makes me think Mr. Okiayu, who was basically a character actor for Gundam franchise in the 1990s, is fitting for the role.

Now the elephant in the room. Revolver Ocelot shooting Dolphe and Gurlukovich is one of the most masturbatory and meandering scene in the game with enough slow motion to give Zack Snyder a run for his money. Reading the novel and imagining it as a scene more in line with how Quintin Tarantino or Chad Stahelski filming their gunshot make it more enjoyable to me. And a note on Ocelot’s weapon selection: even with nanomachine enabled plot armor, single-action six-shooters do not cut it. New York reloading some 9 mil automatics, you crazy Ivan!

5 A Persona 5 reunion, kinda, sorta, not really.

Jun Fukuyama as Richard Ames

(Mr. Fukuyama’s performance can be rather Nassasussic )

Jun Fukuyama became a very prolific voice actor back in the mid-aughts. So, it’s no surprise that Kojima and crew cast him as a glowed-up Johnny Sasaki in MGS4. With Raiden becoming a cyborg ninja pandering to boys, this character might have helped Sony Computer Entertainment (As it was called back then) in selling a few more PS3s to the demographic we can call “young female”. Fukuyama’s momentum would last for about a decade when he was cast as the player character in Persona 5.

I romanced Ann, voiced Nana Mizuki, in my playthrough of Persona 5. So, after I read that Ames was Nastasha’s ex-husband in the novelization, this Persona 5 reunion is on. I mean this relationship detail matters very little in the game, but why the fuck not.

Got to hand it to Mr. Yano for cutting much bullshit out of that hostage in the hostage room. In the game, Kojima put a poor lass in mini skirt named Janet for him and sickos like him to wank to while the women in the book all wear dark pant suits. The joke being “a room full of Agent Smiths”.

6 PROTUS sounding man

Rikya Koyama as James Johnson

(Mr. Koyama’s funny voice makes me think of the skeleton man asking for hits in both Hades games.)

Short of it: Rikiya Koyama is the dubber for Kiefer Sutherland of Designated Survivor fame. I have seen one second of that show myself but I heard its setting of with many dead in the US government, Sutherland’s character of low official becomes the president of USA. Not unlike how Mr. Johnson was lured into his office by Ames according to the novel. No, I didn’t forget about 24’s Jack Bauer, he is just irrelevant here.

Interlude 3 the rogue gallery with less sauce

In contrast to MGS’ FOXHOUND, the leader of MGS2’s Dead Cell is the one with the most sauce of his team while Liquid is just some pissed off bloke. Fat Man is the low point and the start of just for mechanic variety sake boss in MGS 3 and 4. Anway I would start with the show stopper and to homage FOXHOUND: subtitle each with their arsenal.

7 Of swords and power armor

Yusuke Kobayashi as Solidus Snake

(Mr. Kobayashi’s performance can be very Sisyphus if you get my drift.)

This one made me regret sticking with the blog I wrote back in 2022 for there is a better choice if they want to mimic double-casting of Akio Otsuka in the 2001 sequel: Tatsuhisa Suzuki, who played the kinda, sorta, not real final boss thorough players of NieR Automata have to beat twice. I certainly felt compelled to check the episode end credit to see if some Eastwood sounding man was voiced by Tatsuhisa Suzuki or Makoto Furukawa.

But Mr. Kobayashi has the edge of voicing sword-wielding final boss in an action game called Fire Emblem Warriors Three Hopes, the same as the male player avatar in 2019’s Fire Emblem Three Houses. Some there is the hero antagonist thing going. Not to mention, Akio Otsuka, the original voice of Solidus voiced the father of Kobayashi’s character in those games. One should always look at casting duo of parent and child when it comes to remakes.

With the nicety out of the way, I got bones to pick with Solidus, one interactive and the other not. First the interactive one. there is the meeting on the bridge between Shell 1 and 2. The one after Raiden methodically disarms all the bombs then Vamp pilots the Harrier to blow the bridge up anyway. I am not against having Mission Failure there if Raiden shot the wrong tings, but just saying “Big Shell destroyed” is the game not playing by its own fucking rule!

How about take a piss like you used to, Konami! Like that game over statues of joining the antagonist in Contra Hard Corps that made Vinny and Dan’s playthrough ended on an anti-climatic note, just say “Social Sanity Selected” because the blast killed both Raiden and the hidden Solidus, leading to a premature conclusion of the whole Metal Gear Saga. Baby Sunny is dead, Solid Snake could not get into Arsenal Gear, S3 Project is a success and Patriots’ dystopia finally here. Game over, try again with precision this time.

Then there is the cut scene showing that Kojima does not know guns his worshippers said he does. Solidus versus Patriots controlled Metal Gear Ray just is him wanking. Solidus’ FN P90 was designed to pierce armor, soft stuff like Kevlar that is. The gun’s bullets would just bounce off whatever alloy on Ray. That material can withstand rockets for crying out loud! Solidus destroying it with the tentacles on his power armor would make more sense, especially if he can one-hit kill Raiden with those in the final boss fight.

8 Of rail gun and plot armor

Sayaka Ohara as Fortune

(Ms. Ohara’s motherly manner makes her a fit for Hera in Hades II.)

For Sayaka Ohara, there can always be wage. She usually plays “mum”, so in an assemble of high schoolers, one can assume Ms. Ohara would appear as one of those teenagers’ mother, whether her vocal performance would be soft spoken or with a harder edge. That harder edge is also fitting for characters like Fortune.

In many ways speculative fiction should not be afraid of plot armor. In fact, this board genre should embrace it. Authors praised for not using such tropes can seem to forget how to tell er, effective stories at times. From Achilles in the Iliad to the metaphysical fatalism bullshit in current days’ hard sci-fi, plot armor had been with the larger-than-life stories for a very long time. Not to mention, Fortune is not the only one with plot armor in MGS2. Ocelot clearly had it too.

9 Of knife and fang

Show Hayami as Vamp

(Ms. Hayami’s mythical masculine vocal is quite fit for Zeus in Hades and his boob armor wearing self in Hades II.)

It was apt of Jeff Jeff Bizarre Adventure to compare JoJo Part 3 to MGS2. Shame, they missed the voice behind “Bannirra Aisu”, Show Hayami. This man’s smooth yet booming voice can be charming and intimidating at the same time. It’s the embodiment of operatic masculinity, and very fitting for the sexy and dangerous Vamp. Still, not letting player killing this boss for good makes one wonder what Kojima was wanking to.

As fact of matter, Vamp is the only character throughout the whole franchise yours truly got a live action wish for: Mark Zaror. This bearded for the most part man is a dancer as well as martial artist who danced a lot as well as threw down in flicks. He was very underused by Chad Stahelski in John Wick 4 just as some guy taller and faster than Keanu Reeves. They might need to make that MGS movie before Mr. Zaror here got too old for that shit. Beard is need but long hair is optional if you ask me.

10 Of bombs and wheels

Daisuke Namikawa as Fatman

(The man can play the god Romans called Vulcan in Hades II.)

This could be a Kimetsu No Yaiba reunion. Namikawas plays a sword smith in the comic book adaption, usually driven to homicidal madness after Hanae’s Jonathan Joestar like good two shoe broken the swords he makes. The vocal performance of Mr. Namikawa fits craftsman of focus and Fatman is nothing but a craftsman of focus.

Interlude 3 Doomed allies

Calvin Dyson is a part-time film critic on Youtube whose focus being the James Bond franchise and its cast members’ appearance in other flicks. The gay man has an expression for dead allies of 007: sacrificial lamb. Guess here are 2 of such led to the slaughter in Sons of Liberty.

11 Blown away

Daisuke Ono as Peter Stillman

(Odyssey! Odys…Wait, that’s not what’s his face’s name in Hades II.)

It’s hard to tell if Stillman is an X-File reference or not. The character can be modeled “the black guy assisting John McLane” in Die Hard 2 Die Harder. Either Mr. Ono’s more booming vocal somehow appear in my head for this one.

And I guess there is the “Hideo Kojima always repeats himself even with the same game” theory. I would leave Policenauts out for now, but Peter Stillman faked his leg loss is just like one too many example of deception in MGS2. Like the 2 commandos not wanting escort that early in a game is not reason enough for this old man to stay behind. Guess Vinny did not say much about MGS2 back in 2008 for good reason…

12 2B, or not 2B? Not 2B!

 Ai Nonaka as Emma Emmerich

(Ms. Nonaka can groan menacingly, so she can groan as Tisiphone in Hades.)

Putting the 2 lady YOKO TARO collaborators to use had given me a pause. By the end I decided: to hell with Mr. YOKO’s casting! I loathe him nowadays more than I loathe Hideo Kojima since “A Hideo Kojima Game” would pat its users on the back in a “Mission accomplished. Sorry about those you lost on the way” bitter-sweet manner just before credits roll. YOKO Taro joints would never! Those only got make believe bullshit!

As I read the Japanese language novelization, NieR Replicant cast member Ai Nonaka is the more fitting option. Emma Emmerich is looking for his brother just like Yuna, Ms. Nonaka’s NieR character is always waiting for her brother the player character. And I hope the twisted into a circle narrative can have some streamlining.

（To be concluded, shortly.）