25 public reviews
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But he still just “rolled off, and fell to his death.” Right off the bat, I'll just tell you this; this game is outstanding. In beauty, mechanics, and otherwise complete function, this game just works . Ugh, I love this game. Anyway...TO THE REVIEW! You're The Kid, a survivor of the Calamity, and restorer of Bastion. You wake up after the Calamity where the world itself is in pieces and your very step brings the…
Men, get ready to fight some Tubes! AND SALUTE! Sa-ssss-sa-saaa-salu-salute! Bad analogies aside, this game has been a bad ass ride. It's WWI, and two codebreakers, Frank Woodruff and Vladamir Farnsworth, receive a broadcast that causes them to become super intelligent. Frank, who lost his legs during a battle, goes out and builds veteran focused robot legs, and Vlad invents television and coincidentally mobile…
Shoota Boys couldn’t stand a chance against these marines. Starting off as a promotional tie-in to Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine, Kill Team is a stand alone co-op based dual joystick action game. It's your job to get rid of all the Orkz, by any means necessary. You are able to kill all Orkz by four means of veteran; The Sternguard Veteran, Tech Marine, Vanguard Veteran, and Librainan. Sternguards are the ranged…
I'm ready for some Diablo-ass Diablo game playing, are you? Man, this has been long overdue, but I don't even give a shit. This game is fucking great. Alchemist Destroyer Vanquisher Remember when there was only like two or three classes you could choose between in your dungeon crawlers? Not like your WoW's or your Free Realms , or whatthefuckever, you had three classes. Mage, Warrior, and Rogue basically. Some dude…
Oh man fourth edition, you are just so easy. Yes, that shoddy cell phone pic is of a dwarf. And as such a dwarf, that the shitty picture does it no justice of how bad and ugly this thing really is. I'm sorry, but I really hate his face... Anyway, Dungeons & Dragons Daggerdale is a multiplayer-focused class based action RPG ruled by the 4th edition from the table top version of D&D. It is loot heavy and a very simple…
PewPewPew! Are you ready for the mediocre? So, the gang behind Enemy Territory: Quake Wars , and some of the best current gen first person developers , came together with one goal in mind: make a console based cooperative multiplayer game in vain of the greats like Team Fortress II , but be nothing but a ‘killer app.’ So much so that creative director at Splash Damage , Richard Ham, has gone to Moleyneux -esque…
AWWWYEAAAAH! GHOSTBUSTERS! Seriously that looks badass, but unfortunately the game isn't. Let's just get this out there; there really hasn't been a great Ghostbusters property since, oh I don't know, 1984, and that is the truth. Ghostbusters 2 was an alright film, but it wasn't as good as the first, and then there was the Ghostbusters game that came out like two years ago... The cartoon series', Slimer! and the Real…
Aww, look Robots! See that shit? Those are two robots and they like to repair stuff. Not by choice, but by programming, nonetheless. And as such, its the only thing that they know how to do. In this cute little game, you play as Mar-T or Chip and you're stranded on an alien planet after an attack by the Krofax. These aliens have also grounded a ship, housed by an artificial intelligence named Con-Rad. Con-Rad,…
This totally looks surprising, right? Well, its not. At all. Take some anime, throw in some Contra , and you'd think that the combination would totally be bad ass, right? WRONG. This high concept, poorly executed bullet hell run and gun game is nothing less than a P.O.S.. Before I take a crack at finding some of the good, and using all of the horrible, let's see the backstory, yes? The year is 2613, and an empire…
ITS JUST SO FUCKING CUTE! If you haven't played the previous installment in this franchise, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Stop reading this. Go find it on either PS2 or Wii, and PLAY THAT SHIT, SON! I will take my time. Enjoy it. ... Back? Good. Remember that shit? Now that is on a handheld! The same concept as the Wii, as far as the controls go what with the touch screen/motion controller. Now, instead of…
That's right. I'm back, and in full force(Get it? Force...Gun?... force? Never mind). 'Isaac are you there? Come in Isaac. Oh, god I'm so sorry, Isaac, look at, the time difference I can call you back...' The first few seconds of the real relationship that drives this man to Hell and back. Isaac Clarke is back after a three year hiatus, and all he can think of is his dead girlfriend Nicole. Commitment, people.…
Don't get caught off guard by the character design of the Majin, but yes he does sound like Falkor. Majin and Tepeu are best friends, not by choice, but by coincidence. Tepeu, a master thief, sneaks through this tower after his friends of the furred variety tell him to. He stumbles onto this giant of a creature, locked on a boulder from these evil beings in their kingdom. Tepeu feeds this monster some fruit, the…
This right here is the main and only reason to ever talk about Halo: Reach. "Before the beginning you know the end." The advertisements were completely true if you have ever been part of the Halo-mania, then you would know how shit will go down in Reach. Not really the specifics, but the whole picture was clear. You were going to watch how Reach falls, or you just knew that Reach was going down. Not until E3 2009…
You like that back? Good get used to looking at it and the constant blue hue. Let me preface this whole game; I am a new Tron fan. My brother is a Tron fanatic, and I have always and will always find the movie Tron as boring. Being brought up with Drew and basically liking everything he has, the first diversion was with that movie. Now, as the announcement for this year's release of Tron: Legacy, I became excited…
See that motherfucker right up there? That's motherfucking Kirby. And he's made up of motherfucking-cute-ass yarn! Do you also that Dragon Punch he just threw? That as well is made up of some bad guy, who also happens to be made of YARN! Get the picture?! EVERYTHING IS MADE UP FROM YARN AND FABRIC RELATED ITEMS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! But seriously, how awesome is that? Kirby, everyone's…
Leonard Nimoy! Nimoy and Mark Hamil?! *ala Chief Wiggim* Wha!? Okay, enough with me screwing around, if you haven't noticed by the text, the pictures, the symbolism, the art, the EVERYTHING, this is a Kingdom Hearts game. Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep to be exact. And with that being said, people familiar with the franchise can get all excited by the release of this, since it is supposed to be the origins of Roxas,…
You get to fuck up King Midas! Who doesn't want to do that?! For anyone out of the know about me and my absolute love for God of War, and all subsequent games in that franchise then you best get to learning about me. I mean, how can't a late teen-aged boy not love a game that is unapologetically overly violent, sex and loose mythology filled? I know my household has/does/will always. Some backstory for this review,…
Get used to that sex ass face, because you will love it. I know I have. And I'm straight. I'll give it to you straight; Chuck Greene is a sexy man. He uses duct tape, is a great father, and hates him some Zambies. My panties just dropped. For those of you that don't know, this is Dead Rising 2: Case 0, the Pre-LC to the sequel of the Dawn of the Dead-esque game Dead Rising , Dead Rising 2. It has been 3 years after…
The fact is, I barely played this game. I only have done about an hour and a half of "gameplay." I played the demo given a week prior to the game's release, and got really excited because it was just like Crackdown. The voice-over work was the same, the feeling was the same, and the whole damn orb collection was the fucking same. I pre-ordered the game as soon as I played the demo, received the code for the 4…
This is kind of both a let down, and so fucking awesome to me... There has always been an itch that could be scratched for a while now... I've always been the type of person that knows a lot about a lot of things, like obscure actors and the movies they have been in and can recite multiple lines from most of the movies on the drop of a hat. Its that type of basic "nostalgia", for a lack of a better term, just get…
If the picture above does nothing for you, then gladly, skip this post. I'm about to get ya'll "knowledged" up on some downloadable Clothing Party shenanigans. This is Costume Quest, from Double Fine , where you get to have the full Halloween experience. Like smashing pumpkins? Its in there. What about actually trick-or-treating? Yup, in there too. Alright, how about this; you like going door to door, or even…
You awaken in a quiet darkness. You can barely see five feet in front of you. All you remember is that your sister was right around that tree trunk, digging... Wait a minute... Where is she? Where did she go?! You think to yourself, "How long was I asleep? Wait, what time is it?" You get up from the warm body shaped indent under a massive Oak. You walk to the left and there is only this blockade, and next to it an…
I'm sorry for the blatant Smirnoff Yakov joke, but you get the jist... *Spoilers* He dies. I'm talking about Singularity. The Russian action horror game that delves into even more sci-fi with TIME TRAVEL! It is a mediocre shooter with a nice spin in the mechanics department. Let me just start with the story. You play as Cap. Nathanial Renko, an American military man sent to the Russian research and development…
Welcome, people, to the town of Pluckmuckle. This is one of the most integral places in the new XBLA title DeathSpank. The 3/4 top-down-perspective-action-adventure-hack-and-slash-roleplaying game, from the mind of Ron Gilbert, is true and true Diablo meets Monkey Island . The characters are olde fantasy to a t, and the action is nothing but loot based. A little backstory coming atcha! You play as DeathSpank , the…
Being a child of the 90's and a sibling of a child of the 80's, I have been around Transformers for as long as I can remember. There was Drew's, my brother, collection of classic toys, his posters, and even the Beast Wars animated TV show, that of which I am not a fan. With that being said, I have grown to love Transformers and I have played many of the games. There was Beast Wars: Transformers , on the PC,…
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