When I Think About Snake, I Touch Myself

When Metal Gear Solid Touch was announced, I didn't expect much. It's an iPhone port of a game that pushed boundaries in gameplay, narrative, and graphics. You can't expect it to even remotely live up to its namesake. And I didn't. Yet, ultimately the game rings hollow and offers nothing more than something to do while you're waiting for the bus.

The first thing you'll notice when you load the game up are that the visuals are ripped straight from MGS4. However, this is no stunning technical feat, as all of the levels are simply composed of a static, 2D background on which enemies pop up. It's as if somebody took some MGS4 wallpapers and spattered some enemies accross it. That's not to say that it looks bad, but that's not to say that it looks particularly great either, it just doesn't look bad. The visuals do their job to tell you that you're playing a very stripped down version of MGS4.

The sound effects and music are appropriately MGS in nature. Which is nice, especially after MGS Mobile (which was a more proper Metal Gear game than this) decided to forgo them. You get the appropriately epic sounding score, and the little sound effects you've come to expect from the series, like when you pick up a ration to recover health.

As I stated earlier, the graphics look nice, but it does not really help the level design. Since every level is 2D and you're just shooting enemies the whole time, it could all be set against a black background and you'd get the same basic experience. Mission, boss, and weapon variety are all basically the same story too. Every mission feels the same: you're shooting stuff. Sometimes its with an RPG, but most of the time you'll be using your trusty M4 or SVD Sniper Rifle. The bosses are pretty much the same thing as every other level as well. The fight with Raging Raven consists of three parts and utilizes most of the techniques you have available to you, but since that's not much, it doesn't really feel like anything special.

As simple as the game is, there is a high replayability value to it. As should be expected with a game of this type, it's short and easy, so you'll have no problem going through it multiple times. As you play through the game you gain Drebin points which allow you to unlock various wallpapers in the Drebin store. Once you beat the game for the first time, you also unlock a Survival mode in which you can play through every act with your health and powerups carrying over, and if you die you must restart from the very beginning.

Given that this is an iPhone game, I should probably talk about the touch controls. Basically, you tap to shoot. You move a cursor accross the screen to aim at enemies and you can tap anywhere on the screen to shoot. You pinch to switch to your sniper rifle, and pinch the opposite way to switch back to your M4. There's nothing wrong with the controls. They work, and are simple, but, just like the rest of the game, you may be left wanting more, as it all seems a bit too shallow and simple, and not much like a Metal Gear Solid game.