292 public written reviews
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The Short Pros - Lots of levels with new abilities that changed up the Mario formula - Play as four distinctly different characters, including Peach! - Graphics dramatically better than original Super Mario Bros - Great music - Better difficulty balance than the first Super Mario Bros - Can run left Cons - Ripoff of Doki Doki Panic - People hate it for some unexplained reason - No save system for such a long game…
Final Fantasy III / VI The Short Pros - Fourteen characters, the majority of which have interesting backstories to explore - Beautiful 16-bit graphics - Best video game soundtrack ever - Story is interesting and has a rather dramatic twist half way through - Some genuinely touching and heartwrenching moments - Kefka proves to be the best Final Fantasy villain to date - Fast battles that don't require substantial…
The Short Pros - Adds new units, new balance, and a full single player campaign - Finally adds boats back in - New locals are vibrant and colorful - Added tons of new heroes and content via patch downloads, all for free - Upgrades to the map editor made custom maps go from "crazy" to "completely insane" - DOTA . - The definitive version of Warcraft III Cons - New campaign's story isn't as good and ends on a…
The Short Pros - Unique hybrid of RPG and RTS elements - Four races, each unique and well balanced - Long single-player that focuses on each of the four races - Strong story about redemption, revenge, personal failings, and hope - Shifts focus from massing units to smaller, more micromanaged skirmishes - Strong competitive online multiplayer - Map editor allows for some crazy scenarios - Fantastic art design Cons -…
The Short Pros - Over 150 puzzles of the Rube Goldberg variety - Two-player head-to-head puzzles - Allows you infinite customization to create your own puzzles, backgrounds, etc. - Soundtrack is surprisingly good, with mp3 quality tracks - Balances well between being very difficult and very easy - Has a great deal of style throughout Cons - Will not work on modern machines, even in DOS-Box, due to a memory detection…
The Short Pros - Beautiful visuals - Unique puzzle-platformer with no dead time and genuinely ingenious brainteasers - Time reversing mechanic is done in a way not seen before - Music is incredible - Story is captivating - Has probably the single greatest ending level in any video game, except perhaps Portal 2 Cons - While the story is good, it takes the fast train to pretentious town pretty quick - On that same…
The Short Pros - Enchanting, hilarious story set in the Super Mario world - Combines turn based battles with an active attack system that makes them more engaging - Fantastic soundtrack - Did I mention this game is funny? It's wit goes a long way. - Sits at about exactly the right length to provide an engaging experience the entire time - Tons of minigames and side stuff to do - Enemies are actually in the game…
Read the full review Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
The Short Pros - Superb evolution of the platforming formula - Excellent platforming puzzles and traps - Introduction of the "time reverse" mechanic relieves the frustration of failure - Charming characters and witty dialogue - Story told as a narration fits the Arabian theme - Excellent graphics for the time, still hold up reasonably well - Great music Cons - Combat isn't particularly enthralling and can be…
The Short Pros - Dark, exceptionally well-crafted story that transcends most JRPGs and games in general - Does something rare in that it doesn't ham-fist you ever piece of information, saving most of its mysteries only for those who dig deeper and actually immerse themselves in the story - Has probably the best "pull the rug out from under you" moment of any game I've ever played - Four endings, and the "New Game +"…
The Short Pros - Unique photography game set in the world of Pokemon - Courses have a hefty amount of replay value, even if there aren't a lot of them - Photo grading is fun, leads to upgrades, and can prove addicting - Seeing the pokemon in their "natural habitats" is fun, in a sort of weird, voyeuristic way - Graphics look quite good - Used to be able to print out the pictures you took as stickers at a "Pokemon…
The Short Pros - Apes the Tetris Attack formula perfectly, creating an addicting experience - Lots of options, people to battle, and puzzles to...puzzle. - Basically this is Tetris Attack with a Pokemon skin. Hard to say much else about it. Cons - Only two players (instead of four) - Voices of characters from the anime are extremely obnoxious - Not much here that hadn't already been brought out in Tetris Attack back…
Pokemon Black/White The Short Pros - All new adventure with 152 new pokemon - You won't see any pokemon from previous generations during your initial adventure through the game world; all new pokemon - Battles are presented in pseudo 3D for the first time, with the pokemon being fully animated throughout - Excellent graphics and music - Day/Night cycle as well as a monthly seasonal cycle - TMs can now be used…
The Short Pros - Has 25 tracks, and you can import tracks based off your pokemon from Ruby/Sapphire or FireRed/LeafGreen - Has a fair number of pokemon in it Cons - Is a full price, glorified, branded tech demo for the Nintendo DS - "Gameplay" is nonexistent, and they didn't even bother to try and mix up their awful formula - Graphics look awful, even for an early NDS title. - It also sounds awful. Bonus. - Why does…
The Short Pros - Can talk to Pikachu and make him do things - Actually has a lot of stuff to do - Looks ok for an N64 game - Is probably good if you are a kid. And live in 2000. Cons - Pikachu is either an idiot or hates me because he never does anything I say - Required microphone only works for this game and another game released in Japan. Useful! - Lots of games, but most aren't particularly fun - The definition…
Pokemon SoulSilver/HeartGold Version Note: I will not be going over the basic mechanics of the Pokemon games in this review, as I have covered these mechanics extensively in my Pokemon Blue/Red review . Instead, all subsequent reviews will instead focus on the changes made to the formula in any particular iteration. The Short Pros - Remake of the best Pokemon generation - First pokemon will follow you around like in…
The Short Pros - Successfully emulates both the trading card game and the regular Pokemon formula - Lots of bosses/Gym leaders to fight, cards to unlock, and decks to make and manage - The inclusion of RPG elements and unlocks help the game retain some replayability Cons - Looks kind of ugly - If you don't like the Pokemon Card Game, you'll pretty much hate this - No cards from Gold/Silver , despite coming out the…
Pokemon Diamond/Pearl/Platinum Version The Short Pros - 107 new Pokemon, bringing the total at that point to 493 - Day/Night cycle is finally back - Ability to import your pokemon from either of the GBA games if you have a DS with a GBA slot (DS or DS Lite; no DSi support) - New world graphics are a mix between 2D and 3D and look pretty good - Storyline is surprisingly epic for a Pokemon game - The first female…
Pokemon FireRed/LeafGreen Versions The Short Pros - Completely remakes the first Pokemon generation with added features - Includes all features introduced in Generation II and III, such as abilities, breeding, held items, etc. - Streamlined interface improves over both original and Ruby/Sapphire - Can catch pokemon from all other generations after beating the game - Included (when new) a wireless transmitter to…
The Short Pros - New, improved graphics on the Game Boy Advance - Adds 135 new pokemon to catch and train - Introduces pokemon Abilities and Natures, which dramatically changed the game for vets. - Also added a host of small things, like double battle, tweaks to the IV/EV system, and contests - Each version now has a different story: In Sapphire Team Aqua wants to flood the world, in Ruby Team Magma wants to cover…
The Short Pros - Unique combination of Pokemon catching and a pinball game - Can actually catch all original 150 pokemon in this game - Lots of unique side tables and games - Had a built in rumble pack! - Music is pretty good - Graphics look vibrant and really colorful on the GBC Cons - Only two actual tables, Red and Blue - Lack of analog controls for the flippers makes precise shots hard - Tables are simple but…
The Short Pros - Improved version of Pokemon Gold/Silver - Can finally play as a girl for the first time in a Pokemon game - Can catch both legendaries from Gold/Silver - Pokemon now animate when entering battle, which is a nice touch - Several small aesthetic changes and the phone calls people give you are less stupid - Has the best batch of available pokemon between the three games of this generation Cons -…
The Short Pros - Adds 100 new pokemon to the mix, and an entire new region to explore - Adds a day/night cycle that advances in real time, and changes which pokemon are available - You can now breed pokemon. The implications of this are nuts . - Can re-visit the entire region from the first game, three years later, and battle all the same gym leaders - Ability to map items (such as the bicycle) to a button greatly…
The Short Pros - Keeps the same, addicting gameplay found in it's siblings, Pokemon Blue/Red - Graphical improvements over it's predecessor - Follows the anime series by giving you a Pikachu to start, unlike any other game in the series - Is the only game in the series where it is capable of getting all three starters of the generation without trades (Charmander, Squirtle, Bulbasaur) - Pikachu follows you around and…
Read the full review Pokémon Yellow: Special Pikachu Edition
The Short Pros - 150 Pokemon to capture and battle (no, not 151. You can't catch Mew without cheating. Trust me.) - Surprisingly deep JRPG with a heavy emphasis on elemental weaknesses and attacks - Hella tight music, even for the tinny GB speakers - Hunting down and trading for every last Pokemon is addicting and fits that obsessive-compulsive need - Idea of creating your own journey to become a Pokemon master is…
The Short Pros - Same violent, dark, comic book adventure of the original - New cell-shaded graphics look very good overall - "Quad wielding" the tentacles and guns is much more responsive than The Darkness - The world between life and death is better realized/less weird than the first game - Upgrade tree allows for tons of customization - Darkling management has been improved to have just one "always on" Darkling -…
The Short Pros - Gritty, violent fusion of horror and criminal investigation - Strikes a decent balance between fighting and investigating - Combat is first-person melee, something unique for a modern setting - Story is genuinely creepy and compelling - Areas are dark, tense, and scary - Wide variety of weapons with varying stats at your disposal Cons - Areas can get a little repetitive, especially at the beginning…
The Short Pros - Controls are vastly improved; tank controls are gone - Combat is improved, which is good in a way (more on that later) - Soundtrack is fantastic, as usual - Many monsters, especially bosses, are horrific and disgusting - Story actually sort of makes sense - Graphics are pretty good - Transformation to "Nightmare World" are some of the best looking in the series Cons - Much more of an action game…
The Short Pros - Another excellently atmospheric, dark game adhering to the Silent Hill formula - Direct sequel to the first Silent Hill game - Heather, a young woman, fits well as a new protagonist for the series - Improved graphics (particularly the backgrounds/environments) serve to make the game scarier - "Nightmare" world seems better realized, at least for the first 2/3rds of the game - The theme park area is…
The Long Pros - Gritty and horrifying - Excellent aesthetic - Adheres to the "less is more" Silent Hill rule - Story is surprisingly deep and harbors many interesting psychological elements - Graphics still look good even to this day - Music is excellent and horrifying - Enemies are both creepy and tie into the psychological points of the story Cons - Clunky combat and controls - Voice acting works on one level, but…
The Short Pros - Addicting twist on the tower defense genre - Easy to learn but very difficult to master - Dozens of plants to choose from - Charming aesthetic, from the zombies to the plants to the kickin' soundtrack - A metric butt-ton of game modes including survival, minigames, puzzles, zen garden, and more - Seriously, this game has more content than three $60 retail games - Crazy Dave is awesome. The ending…
The Short Pros - Fast paced, visceral bloody violence like the first game - Controls are tightened and improved from the last game - More weapons and upgrades - Set on a massive space station, its environments are far more varied than the first game - Crazy story that expands on the original - Isaac finally talks - Same integrated UI, "strategic dismemberment," and general polish from the first game - Great…
The Short Pros - Horrifying, genuinely scary - Conveys a sense of helplessness rarely found on any game - Pixelated graphics still do a great job in bringing the horror - Multiple endings, most of which do not end well for your main character - Good mix of genuine chills and jump scares - Very unique experience on the SNES Cons - Never came out in the US; you'll have to find a fan translation ROM if you want to play…
The Short Pros - Captures the gritty, dirty, horrifying world of the Saw movies - A fair number of the infamous traps make an appearance - Voice acting is decent and the game has a good atmosphere to it - Puzzles can be very difficult and brain-teasing, which is great - Captures the essence of the Saw movie franchise perfectly, which will please fans - Really easy 1000/1000 G for Achievement hunters Cons - Combat,…
The Short Pros - Action/horror in the vein of Resident Evil 4 - Stars Alan Wake, a horror writer, which is an original protagonist for a video game - Alan Wake provides story-like narration throughout that helps set the tone and mood - Excellent fog and lighting effects, dark forests look creepy and foreboding - Has some genuinely interesting and weird twists in the story - Controls are smooth and easy to pick up…
The Short Pros - Fantastic voice acting and script - Game is a hybrid of third person shooting and Prince of Persia / Tomb Raider platforming - For a 2007 game, it looks pretty decent - Swashbuckling adventure in the vein of Indiana Jones - Vistas and landscapes are impressive and have a tremendous amount of scope Cons - Shooting is tedious, with bullet-sponge enemies and weird controls killing the pacing - Forced…
The Short Pros - Lots of hacking and also slashing to be had - Tons of different characters with unique abilities - Shows a pretty insane number of units on-screen at once - You feel kind of badass when you are killing 20 people at once with a massive weapon - Has a story. I think. Cons - Gets boring after about the first five minutes - Characters are poorly balanced; some are extremely powerful, others are just…
The Short Pros - Bridges the gap between Dead Space and Dead Space 2 ...sort of - Multiple endings - Has a character that shows up (and is killed) in the first few moments of Dead Space 2 - Unlocks some gear and text/voice logs in Dead Space 2 - Was free if you pre-ordered Dead Space 2 Cons - Actual game is total garbage - Story is poorly written and poorly voice acted - Animations for the "active comic" look…
The Short Pros - Over the top brand of humor - Three unique worlds that emulate the style of different comic books - Massive amounts of unlocks including themes, movies, etc. - Mix of platforming, duel-stick shooting, and third-person shooting - Manga and "Silver Age" Comic worlds are pretty hilarious Cons - Overly difficult and unfair - Extremely repetitive - Humor gets in your face too fast, too often - "Conan"…
The Short Pros - Has all the turtles - You can play four player - Unlimited continues - Based on a game that was pretty awesome Cons - Total garbage - Looks horrendous - Has done nothing to improve the formula - Super short - Replaced all the classic 90s goofy turtles with the "modern edgy" turtles - Missing levels from the SNES version, including the final one and final boss fight - Cheap deaths, unfun, boring, and…
Read the full review Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled
The Short Pros - Same fundamental addicting orb-grabbing as Crackdown - Four player co-op leads to some total madness - Add zombies. That's cool, I guess. - Essentially does all the same things Crackdown did, providing you a big city with lots of things to play with Cons - Provides literally no change or improvements over the first game - Climbing is still cumbersome and tedious, especially in a world where…
The Short Pros - Has punching AND kicking - The intro is now internet-famous - Every time you beat a level, a horrible, grainy NES voice says "I'M BAD!" That's just awesome. - Ninjas - Two player co-op Cons - Ugly - Stupidly difficult - Controls poorly - Repetitive - Can't hold a candle to games like Double Dragon. - Arcade version was better. The screen that sparked a thousand memes The Long Bad Dudes is bad. There…
The Short Pros - Blend of Norse mythology and cyberpunk - Lots of loot - Has a distinct art style that looks pretty great - Online two-player co-op - Five classes to choose from Cons - Controls are a "streamlined" mess, probably the worst I've ever used - Game is poorly balanced to the point of ridiculousness - Co-op is broken by above mentioned balance issues - Story doesn't even come close to its lofty potential -…
The Short Pros - The box art is sort of cool - The copy we bought booted up the first time without needing to be cleaned - The quest is long. And length = value! - It has a lot of good ideas and doesn't look completely awful Cons - All its ideas are executed horribly - Controls are a mess - You can easily break the game beyond fixing - No save system - Same one song will make you want to kill yourself - I lied, the…
Read the full review Well there IS a quest...and it IS in a castle...
The Short Pros - Follows the same addicting formula as Fable 2 - Has a more integrated plot than the previous games where you were just an unnamed hero; now you are a prince/princess - Same simple controls as Fable 2 , for better or worse (depending on what you liked in Fable 2 ) - Reasonably large, breathing world - The D&D Quest (where you come to life in a bunch of wizard's D&D game) might be the best quest in…
The Short Pros - Entertaining parody game that lampoons almost every major franchise - The "JRPG" boss is probably one of the funniest things I've seen in a while - Graphics are on the Unreal 3 Engine and thus look pretty good - Matt Hazard is voiced by Will Arnett of Arrested Development fame, and the big bad is voiced by Neil Patrick Harris of Dr. Horrible fame. - Many of the gags are genuinely entertaining and…
The Short Pros - Looks pretty dang good on the N64, even old and blocky - Reasonably solid controls - Guns are great, especially the FarSight (see through walls !) - Decent length single player - Four player co-op has a hearty amount of fun options Cons - Requires the expansion pack to not suck - Controls, while exceptional at the time, haven't aged particularly well - Time has not been kind to this game in general…
The Short Pros - Fast paced, intense RTS action that is both familiar and wholly unique - Adds two more races to the already impressive roster of five, making seven total playable - Each race plays unique, with the Necrons being especially different - Single player is probably the best in the series, with a Risk-esque map combined with RTS elements - Single player also has a hefty amount of unlocks for your "hero,"…
Read the full review Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War - Dark Crusade
The Short Pros - One of the first Real Time Strategy games, and paved the way for an entire genre - Host of missions, maps, and units - Two playable races with (some) unique abilities - 3D movies to play between scenarios - Full voice acting, including all the units - Fight on water, air, and land - Cartoonish, pixelated graphics still look good to this day - Fantastic music, both the DOS version and the revamped…
