How many of you have actually been to a prison? I have (I am a lawyer, not a convict.) minimum security he might escape, but medium or max? No way. No way. Dan skates by on a certain charm and shenanigans. Have fun trying those with prison guards. They do not tend to have great senses of humor while on the clock.

As long as he doesn't drop the soap, he might escape the shower. But the prison itself? NO!

No way.

This needs to happen. Use that Subscriber money!

Nope.

He'd just have to talk about food for a minute and then they'd let him out.

"DAMN IT. AIOLI IS MAYONNAISE. JUST GO. GO!"

The fact that Dan is alive today is proof enough that he can literally do anything.

Dan could survive a black hole; prison is nothing compared to that.

But how does prison stack up to a hot air balloon?

If I didn't know that Kramer (in Seinfeld) was based on someone else, I would have put money on him being based on Dan Rykert.

Escape? No. He could probably get himself "promoted" from prisoner/patient to warden/director though.

Of course he could...
How do you think he got here?

Dan gets-by a lot on his charm. He does it to avoid things like school work or broader social situations, which is why he is so experience deprived. But who are we kidding Dan's white, he won't go to prison, unless he plows into a group of people while drunk killing a few people and injuring a bunch of others. (Dan is probably enough of an experienced drinker that he doesn't drive while drunk...so that's a real long shot situation anyway.)

Dan doesn't escape prison, it escapes him.

I dont think that Dan would last a long enough time in prison. His personality is great for podcasts and videos but it would not play well in prison.

I think he probably wouldn't escape by carefully planning but maybe by stumbling clumsily through the front gate in the exact same minute that nobody is watching.

I also imagine he would have a fight to the death with Jose Canseco, who is guarding the last door.

I could lock him in an office bathroom and he would die. Not before he would attempt to know down the door like a cool guy and break his collarbone.

All his preconceptions about prison come from action movies . I'm not at all surprised that he would mistake that for reality.

( Tho I know he was just kidding or simply trolling....right?....right???)

I was originally going to say no, but then I remembered how skilfully he dodged doing any real work at college. He'd get out somehow.

Nope.

No, but I think this would make some great premium content.

Prison? Not a chance.

Ayslum? Maybe, but he'd only escape deeper in his own mind.

So no happy end whatsoever.

The thread title alone made me lol.

No, don't be crazy.

I said yes so that he is encouraged to try it even though I don't think he can.

@fattony12000 said:

So kind of Dan in a cross between Escape from New York and Aphex Twins video for Windowlicker?

Point me to your Kickstarter, I wish to shower it with my riches...

Depends whether he'd commit a crime to get into prison or just confess to one. Or whether he considers a release an escape. I suspect Dan says these things because he'd like to try, rather than succeed.

Or he's hankering after another World Record.

Out of sheer stupidity and luck yes.

Out of competence, no.

A guy who wants to go in a black hole is not smart enough to escape prison.

@pr1mus: I think his exact words were that he was smart enough to do it.

Life is a prison and we're trapped in here with Dan Ryckert.

The Kickstarter will only be accessible through a coded URL hidden within the pages of Air Force Gator 3.

It'll be in the Jose Conseico foreword but you'll need 3 cryptographs to decipher it. And you'll also know who the Zodiac killer was. Dan figured it out. Whilst escaping from prison. In a hot air balloon.

Is this before or after he becomes President? I give him a .3% chance before, but a solid 98% after because he'll have the Presidential Key which can open any lock.

He would talk to the guards long enough that they would swap places.
He would then work as a prison guard for a number of weeks before just plain forgetting that any of it happened and going home.

@penguindust: Do you really think the world could survive Dan being President?

which video did he say he could do this in??

I am sure that Dan woul escape.

Nah. The guards would hear him laughing from a mile away.

@bjorno: This QL

He would escape by knocking on walls to distract the guards and change their patrol routes. Works everytime.

All he needs is a cardboard box.

NO! I think Ryker is the "ANTI-DREW!" He was designed by the lowest of the low to make us all feel better about ourselves. Unlikes Drew who was molded by Odin's beard itself. No seriously. I can be as a drunk as a skunk still drinking at 6 am and I'm responsible to wake up 9 am to walk my dog. Ryker was designed to make us feel superior, and isn't what special in it's own way?

Yes, but not on purpose.