Sega's Yakuza series moves to the PlayStation 3 for its third installment, bringing all the comically brutal beat-em-up gameplay, Japanese RPG storytelling and various mini-games with it.
Yea, it is pretty hilarious in a terrible kind of way. But by the end of the game I was hauling ass to try and avoid as much combat as possible. Seriously, there are groups of thugs who want to beat up large imposing karate men on every other street corner in Tokyo.
Later on in the game I got the quiet shoes to help me avoid the combat. It really gets tedious, especially because there really is no challenge in the fights. I do love the fat guy though wearing the Bill Cosby Christmas sweater.
"You guy's don't learn do you. Alright. This is how it's going to go down: I'm going to curb-stomp you. Not just curb-stomp you, I'm going to curb stomp your face, and then jump back on it a second or third time, probably ending with my elbow being logged in your stomach. That other guy, yeah him, that loser in the hoodie and the black shades. I'm going swing him around like a fucking spinning top. The other fat dude? Yeah, I'm kicking him through that window, then taking him inside the store and ramming his face against that wall. That last guy? I'm debating between crushing his skull in with a bicycle, or crushing he skull on the back of this car. The whole thing is going to be like kung-fu meet's jackass. You will all need to go to the hospital after this. You will all have severe injuries."
"Hey! Show some respect! Now you're going to get it!"
"Really? Because I just did all of this to the guys down the street a few seconds ago and..."
"Fuck you!"
"...If I had a nickle for every time I said 'I told you so'...."
Yakuza 3. It's kinda like that. By "that", I mean: "A never ending cavalcade of continual awesomeness".
The noise that struck fear in my heart towards the end of the game, they must have known a guy in a white suit criss-crossing across streets means business?
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