You May (Not) Read 1.1

Working and Paying and Living and Dying

“To work on something – even on a video game – for 12 to 15 hours a day for a year is not enjoyable or fulfilling. I have no doubt that to make this game, hair was grayed, health was ravaged, friendships were tested, and marriages were strained.

What I’m saying is that these glorious games are, in real and measurable ways, born of human misery.”

I took that quote from Tom Bissell’s 14 June article on The Last of Us. While you can question whether this applies to all video game development studios, you can’t question that developing these games on tight budgets and schedules puts an enormous amount of strain to everyone involved. In the end, these studios hope that their product sells enough units to make profit. It’s disheartening to see many development studios and publishers close doors due to their games not making profit. Of course, if a bad game is developed and published, then shame on them. However, to read stories such as Tomb Raider not successful despite selling over three million units, something’s not right with the industry. The ones really get hurt are those the thousands of hard working people that get the passing name credit in the game, whether they’re a tester, coder, programmer, animator, marketer, etc. While we may react to those who are more visible in the industry, lest we forget that there’s hundreds of thousands of people that are continuing to ride the video game industry to where it is today. Without all of them, we won’t be able to experience and discuss numerous games that they have worked on for years for our enjoyment.

My job has been pretty hard on me in the last few years or so. The president and CEO of the company visited the Philadelphia office on 18 June to talk about the health of the company. His “town hall meeting” was positive, where he showed numerous figures and graphs on how quickly the company has rebounded from the 2008 economic breakdown. In 2011, the company has posted a modest rebound in profit margin. The profit margin grown last year and he expects the margin to become better this year. He also noted that he expects record setting revenues this year, based on how much the company has already recognized as revenue from the first five months of the year. This may sound like its good news, but how much of that increase in profit margin has come at the expense of an employee’s health. While I may not log as many hours compared to folks in the video game industry, I’m still logging over forty hours per week and not seeing the benefits of the fruits of my labor. It doesn’t help that I’m not enjoying what I’m doing here, compared to some others who can deal with the hours just because they enjoy what they’re doing. Funny enough, I do envy the work that my fellow employees are doing here. I work in an engineering consulting company, and I’m always fascinated with the schematic plans my company produces on numerous projects held all around the world.

It’s been hard for me to enjoy my hobbies when I’m spending more of my time every week dedicated to work. I still enjoy reading a great book, playing a great game, or listening to great music, but I have not expressed as much excitement over those things as much as I used to. At this point of the year, there are two games released this year in North America that I have really enjoyed my time with, Fire Emblem: Awakening and Etrian Odyssey IV: Legend of the Titan. I’ve completed the story and logged in close to 95 hours in Fire Emblem, while I’m still going 110 plus hours in EO4. Both games are awesome in my eyes, but I don’t feel the overwhelming joy that I used to have. I fault that to my hardened perspective from working so much, seeing my family and some friends struggling with whatever endeavors that have on their hands, and my continued stubbornness and carelessness of beating myself up.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to do whatever it takes to keep going. I hope to all the tireless workers out there, doing whatever you’re doing, I sincerely hope all of you are doing well. I still don’t know how hard all of you have it out there, and I still have a lot to learn myself, but you have my thoughts. I wish I can provide some more comfort to my parents aside from giving them numerous amounts of money from my own pocket to help fund their struggling grocery store business.

Leaves Eclipse the Light

“He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.”

I believe that quote is taken from a Chinese proverb. The meaning is obvious, but I don’t entirely agree with it. Obviously, there are some people who should be better off not speaking out their thoughts, but there are many others who I feel like they make compelling arguments that others should read and take note of. I envy those who are able to provide great reasoning as I always fall short of providing such on numerous topics. I’ll heed to the fellow users who are still hanging out in the IRC GB_P4A channel as such folks. (You guys know who you are, you guys are awesome!) The majority of topics revolve around video games, but there’s also a bit of television, movies, music, and other topics that get discussed in the room. I don’t delve myself into too many of their conversations because simply I haven’t played as many games as they have, nor know as many other things in video games. I’m amazed every time I return from work each weekday to see the users there discuss whatever they’re discussing. I do have my own thoughts regarding some topics, but I always fail to articulate why and therefore I refrain for the most part. There are many times where I’ll speak upon a topic, only to not see the other side of the argument numerous times. I’m doing my best to see both sides of the court, but still have trouble doing so.

I don’t know much about the well-known voice actors, the visible personalities in the video game industry (the executives, studio directors, journalists, etc.), the latest gaming news, or Giant Bomb in general. I haven’t watched many movies in the last six years or so, and everyone has their own musical tastes. I’m content in being an observer and gaining a bigger perspective of stuff in general.

I realize writing this journal entry puts me in line with that proverb, but I hope my writing and commentary are a decent read to anyone who reads this entry.

Looking for Astronauts

“Something to cry for, and something to hunt.”

Looking back at my video game library for the 3DS, PS3, and X-Box 360, there are some trends. One noticeable trait with my gaming library on those platforms are the lack of high profile games. No Assassin’s Creed, Battlefield, BioShock, Call of Duty, Elder Scrolls, Gears of War, God of War, Grand Theft Auto, Halo, Mass Effect, Metal Gear Solid, and whatever big title games are out there. That’s not to say I’ve avoided all high profile games. I do own and enjoyed the few that I did play, such as Red Dead Redemption and Uncharted 2. It’s just that these high profile games don’t interest me as much compared to some other games that I have much more interest in. I wouldn’t mind trying out some of these games down the road, though I already have an enormous backlog with my current library.

A majority of gaming library also fall under the following genres: fighting, Japanese role-playing, platformers, puzzles, racing, and rhythm games. Many of my favorite games from previous generations fall under these genres, so it’s no surprise that I’ve carried that over to the current generation. But unlike my progress with music, where I expanded my music library with an eclectic mix of genres in the past couple of years (ambient, classical, compositional, electronica, jazz, metal, etc.), I haven’t done so much with that with my gaming tastes. The only other genre that has some presence in my library is action. I enjoyed some of the games under this genre, such as the games I mentioned in the first paragraph (Red Dead Redemption, Uncharted 2), along with two Platinum games (Anarchy Reigns and Vanquish) and a few others. There are other action games that I haven’t started or barely played that I’d like to get, though my track record of clearing my backlog isn’t great. I’m not sure what other genres off the top of my head that I’d like to delve into, but I would like to expand my horizons.

Though it seems unlikely, maybe I’ll find the time to start playing games outside of my comfort zone. Platinum has peaked my interest and I’m hoping that The Wonderful 101’s finished product is as good as what they have revealed so far. I may also try out Bayonetta, though I’m still a bit hesitant since that game looks all kinds of crazy. But if I was able to get through Vanquish, I guess I should be okay for Bayonetta? I also got action games like Dead Space, The Last of Us, Uncharted 3, and a few other action games to still go though. It’s not a priority for me as I have my focus on other games, but it’d be nice to tackle something different once in a while.