Is this the America I grew up in?

Before I get into my rant, gather round younglings and let ole' Uncle Moosey spin you a yarn...
It all began a long, long time ago in a new and exciting land known as "America." The British decided to colonize this fertile new land and bleed it dry, just as it did with every other colony. And they did, and no one cared, for a while anyway...

See, the people who lived here were an adventurous, freedom loving bunch. And after a while, they began to wonder why it was that they, who lived in a vast and majestic land, were being ruled by a small and smarmy island. And these feelings were only made stronger when the British government kept imposing more taxes and tariffs upon the colonists. Then one day, they couldn't take it any longer. 

"Hey!" They cried, "What are we doing listening to a bunch of candy-ass jabronies from overseas? Those cats ain't cool. Lets start up a revolution!" What followed was a brutal and bloody war, but in the end, the scrappy young colonists defeated the most powerful nation in the world. The mighty British empire was nothing in the face of the American spirit. 

And that, my friends, is how America was born.

So, this now brings me to what this blog is really about. See, last night, I was watching MSNBC (because I like my political analysis to be nice and liberally slanted), and instead of the Ed Show coming on, it was a show about the royal wedding over in the UK! 

And today, all over the televised news, it's nothing but the damn royal wedding! How the hell is this news? It's a frakking wedding! And not only that, it's a royal wedding! My ancestors died to escape from the tyranny and unjustness of the British monarchy. Why on Earth would Americans care about this? This is a nation founded on freedom and democracy, not marriage and monarchy! 

And when I turn on the news, I want to see about things like this, not weddings, and especially not weddings of royalty. People are dying out there, and yet the "news" stations think we want to know about some dumb prince and his wife? 

I don't even understand why the royal family is even still around. They don't have any real power. It's all in Parliament. I'd think the British people would want to forget about the cruel tyranny of their past dictators. You know why they wrote things like the Magna Carta? It's because they hated the king. They hated being ruled over by a monarch. And they passed that hate down to us Americans, but apparently not to their own people. 

Argh. This whole thing makes me angry. And clearly I'm not joking here. I'd be angry if someone said this was not a serious thing I wrote here. 

I just want to reiterate that this is not a joke. Taking it as anything else would be dumb. And make sure that when you read, you pay attention to bold words.