Gordon Freeman Spotted at the LHC!
by drrandle
If We Weren't Doomed Before, We Are Now. If you've ever played Half-Life, you know the name Gordon Freeman. (Side note: if you haven't played Half-Life, you're just a bad person.) You know that Gordon Freeman is usually bad luck around large-scale scientific research projects. He was the one who flipped the switch that allowed The Vortigaunts into our world, and his attempt to teleport long-dis...
If We Weren't Doomed Before, We Are Now.
If you've ever played Half-Life, you know the name Gordon Freeman. (Side note: if you haven't played Half-Life, you're just a bad person.) You know that Gordon Freeman is usually bad luck around large-scale scientific research projects. He was the one who flipped the switch that allowed The Vortigaunts into our world, and his attempt to teleport long-distance in Half-Life 2 ended in a failure that alerted his enemies.
Well, we might be screwed.
Why is this scary? Do you know what the LHC is? The Large Hadron Collider is a giant device in France designed to help scientists understand more about physics. It's been charging up for the past few weeks and is set to fully activate relatively soon. In theory, this device will help us discover what some call the "God Particle." Unfortunately there's this tricky little off-chance that a black hole might swallow the Earth whole. I'm not kidding, by the way. That might actually happen, though the chance is infentisimally small.
That was until Gordon stepped onto the scene. We're totally boned now. This won't create a black hole. This is going to open up a portal into some evil dimension filled with squid-faced beings that will feast on our organs and rape our minds.
It was nice knowing you.
"Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman... Rise... and shine..."
-The G-Man