Motivation

I've been really hampered lately by what it is I really want.  Clearly, I've made it this far so all of my decision's have not been wrong, but a lot of them have not been right.  It seems that the further I go along the more it seems that I have to change things and start over again even with the overwhelming possibility of knowing that I can't.  I feel like I've climbed up these stairs for so long that going back down them will be even worse than reaching whatever it is that is at the top. What I need is a landing to stand onto once I reach the top of this set and wait for a little bit. Maybe when I reach the landing there will be a door leading to some other place I didn't think would exist or maybe once I've caught my breath I can continue up the steps until I reach wherever they are supposed to go.  All I know is that right now is my feet ache, I'm thirsty and I don't know if I can't make it up the next step.  I've lost the reason as to why I started climbing in the first place.  I need to learn how to walk again.