Burn After Reading

Sucks.


(EDIT)
Here's the rough draft of my review being sent in to my school newspaper:
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When it comes to the Coen Brothers I personally haven’t had a particularly good track record with their previous films. was a little too absurd for my tastes, O Brother, Where Art Thou was boring, and I thought No Country For Old Men receiving an award for “Best Film” was one of the biggest insults to the industry. It’s obvious that this duo has a following that understands what their films are about, but I’m not one of those people. So if you’re someone who “gets it” and has loved every film they’ve ever made, then they’re latest comedy release “Burn After Reading” will be a pleasant adventure for you. For everyone else, newcomers and skeptics alike, stay away, far, far, away.

            Burn After Reading is a film about stupid people. It’s got the full spectrum of idiocy. Some people think they’re constantly being followed for no reason, others believe enough cosmetic surgery will make them happier, and some folk, are just plain dumb. The idea of the film is a CIA worker gets laid off, then in his distraught misplaces classified files and they end up being placed in the hands of two employees at HardBodies Fitness Center. The two workers (Brad Pitt and Frances McDormand) attempt to blackmail the CIA agent for some money, but the deal doesn’t go according to plan. After that it’s hard to tell what exactly happened in the remaining 60 minutes of the movie, but saying “the movie had a bad plotline” would be suggesting that the movie had a plot.

            However this is a comedy, so the fact that it’s missing a gripping plotline isn’t really a big deal. The point of the experience is to make you laugh, but unfortunately Burn After Reading doesn’t even live up to that low expectation. Throughout the entire film there seems to be a constant pause after dialogue as if the movie was waiting for the audience to laugh, but no one ever does. All the jokes seem to be referencing some piece of fiction that no one knows exists. The result is a constant feeling of “Oh, I understand that was a joke, but I don’t get it.” You’re not alone with that feeling, because oddly enough, no one gets it. This type of pretension has been relevant in every other Coen film in existence, so the fault isn’t unique to this release; it’s just “their thing.” I’m not going to say that the movie isn’t funny at all, it has its moments. But the jokes are few and far between, so even if you invest the first thirty minutes waiting for an elaborately set-up scene, the payoff isn’t worth the wait.

            As previously mentioned, the film seems to be referencing different aspects of modern culture, but the joke is never told in a satisfying way. Take for example, bank account numbers. If you’ve ever had a problem with a bank account and have to call customer service, they always ask if you know the number to your account. Most people don’t remember, because it’s a useless nonsensical number that they’ll never need to know except for this one specific exception. Any good writer or comedian could make a funny joke out of that situation. Burn After Reading’s take is to just have John Malkovich furiously shout the previous three sentences while throwing in the F word whenever possible. It’s like when your unfunny friend tries to retell a Dave Chapelle joke. You know the joke is funny, but the way it’s being presented to you isn’t entertaining in the slightest. The majority of the jokes in this movie are plagued by this problem.

            The film attempts to have some charm with its cast of characters, and that’s really the only thing it has going for it. There’s around six-seven characters that all intertwine and connect to each other in bizarre ways. The star character of this whole cast is Brad Pitt. Pitt plays a workout junkie dimwit whose ambitions are a little too high and ends up in a lot of trouble. Pretty much any scene containing his character is guaranteed to be humorous in some way, but his screen time is cut short for plot related reasons half-way through. That’s not to say that the other actors did a terrible job. Every character is played flawlessly by the all-star cast, which is why Burn After Reading is so disappointing.

It’s obvious that there are some genuinely hilarious jokes trapped within the script, but the writing of the dialogue counters every laugh with an awkward pause. There’s really no enjoyable experience to be had with Burn After Reading. Whenever I feel this disappointed and perplexed by a single film, I always think “Maybe it’s just me, and everything is going over my head.” I had a similar feeling towards the end of BAR, but when the person I was seeing it with asked if we could leave early, when there was only ten minutes left, it made me pretty sure about one thing: Don’t see this movie.