Jensonb's Giant Bomb's Game of the Year Awards 2009

For some bizarre reason I never proceeded too far into this game in 2008, even though I loved it. I rectified that this year by steaming through the rest of the game.

I never wrapped my head around what it is is about this game people find appealing. I was going to simply forget about it, then I found out that the people who do like it consider it nigh on sinful to express that sentiment. Which I find, if anything, more baffling than its appeal. If that's not divisive, I don't know what is.

I have no interest in fighting games (Maybe Punch-Out!!). Yet somehow, this song almost made me buy Street Fighter IV. I mean it's so damn catchy!

I'll be honest. This is based purely on the Quick Look. But let's be clear...That is an awesome title card.

The subtle change in musical style really helped sell the Halo series' change in pace for this, its fourth entry. ODST has a calmly brooding feel, helped in no small part by it's superb score.

An exciting new franchise based on the premise of taking gaming back a couple steps? It was a shoe-in for this award.

They made multiplayer Super Mario Bros. Let me stress that. It is like the single player game known as Super Mario Bros., except that you can have up to 4 people playing at once. It's Chocolate guy's car and Peanut Butter guy's car crashing into eachother people, and Miyamoto is "Officer Reese".

I hate zombies, and as the record shows I will take ever opportunity to blast them. The Left 4 Dead series is a great way to do that and provides ample training in the arts of shooting at the horde and collecting stuff to keep up the fight. Perfect if, like me, you are near-permanently preparing for the perpetually inevitable zombie apocalypse. Other useful skills: car stealing, finding Twinkies. Other useful training materials: the movie Zombieland, Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars.
 
Also, if I see any angsty teen fiction involving zombies, Stephenie Meyer is dead.

Every time I fire this game up, I am struck by its sensationalist, but somehow not cartoonish, portrayal of warfare. It's gritty and grimy and gory, but never strays into the realm of absurdity. It's a sight to behold, and probably one of the best ways of (Visually) simulating the horrors of urban combat out there.

They say the best ending is the one that leaves you satisfied but also, paradoxically, craving more. Killzone 2's ending neatly wrapped up the game and provided sufficient emotional reward for my investment in beating the game, whilst also closing on a tantalising cliffhanger which has had me dreaming up possible sequels all year.

Two words people: Quick Look. If that Quick Look was not enough to sell you on the fact that this absurd game is the best thing about the Eastern Bloc since Vodka, you're clearly a cold and passionless robot.

Admittedly, the Joker more or less cheated his way into winning this category by virtue of being an existing villain, who is objectively and subjectively one of the greatest villains in comic book history. But Arkham Asylum's rendition did put in the work to net the award, combining fantastic vocal work with outstanding animations and a winning character design to create one of the the 4 all-time best Jokers ever (Along with Heath Ledger's, Cesar Romero's, Mark Hamill's original animated Joker & Jack Nicholson's).

This easily could have gone to Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust. However, where Box Office Bust was a half-assed and predictably lame attempt to revive a franchise whose whole concept seems rooted in a particularly 90s vision of comedy (Compare current sitcoms to 90s sitcoms to see how much humour has changed), Tony Hawk: RIDE stands head and shoulders above it as a total failure to understand why the franchise was popular, what makes games fun, why people even play games and what is acceptable in a retail product. The whole thing was based on a folly (The idea that non-abstracted controls increases our enjoyment of game simulating complex actions) and the game itself was mediocre, even sans its shitty controls.

...I'm weak. I'm a sucker when it comes to Mickey Mouse merch, what can I say?

...Shut up. It's cute god damn it! He makes the little guy dance in the air then gives him a little hug! How can you not see that that's adorable..? Yeah, okay, I'm hella lame. But we already knew that.