Dear Shank
 
I don't really mean what I said in the title it's just we have been dating for 3 hours now and I feel that it's over. We had some good times in that three hours but you kept saying the same thing over and over again and I have to move on and see other people instead of the same four or five guys you gave me. Yes, I think you are beautiful, it's not about that at all! It's not about looks! You want to know why? an example of why I am not happy with you? I nearly fell asleep when you told me about your past and I think in a relationship you should engage me with epic story telling.... and to be honest I don't mean to be cheap but for me to take you out on a $14.99 dinner on the first date and for you to not be around in the morning really hurt me inside. I wanted to introduce you to my friend who lives in another state and maybe after a few drinks the three of us could of had a good time but since you don't know how to use the internet  you will never meet my friend but I'm sure you will somehow learn enough of the internet to sell me something down the road I am sure of it and then maybe then we can revisit our date and try and work something out. I did enjoy all the different costumes you wore and all the family members I had to fight but to be honest it felt like I was fighting children who were telling me their weakness.  Don't bother sending me an angry response Shank with excuses about you being independent and that is why you can't help yourself we both know when I was dating Castle Crashers and we were just friends that she offered everything you did but she was exciting, never boring and yes she was a bit of a ho and let me and three other friends player her and she cost far less. I guess I shoulda put a ring on it. I waited a year to be with you and I can't believe how disappointed I am not angry with you just disappointed so lets take a break.... let's see other people and maybe if you come back a year from now a little bit more mature I'll give you another go. You can't get everything right the first time so please for me work on those things and maybe we can have a future together.
 

Dear Shank
 
I don't really mean what I said in the title it's just we have been dating for 3 hours now and I feel that it's over. We had some good times in that three hours but you kept saying the same thing over and over again and I have to move on and see other people instead of the same four or five guys you gave me. Yes, I think you are beautiful, it's not about that at all! It's not about looks! You want to know why? an example of why I am not happy with you? I nearly fell asleep when you told me about your past and I think in a relationship you should engage me with epic story telling.... and to be honest I don't mean to be cheap but for me to take you out on a $14.99 dinner on the first date and for you to not be around in the morning really hurt me inside. I wanted to introduce you to my friend who lives in another state and maybe after a few drinks the three of us could of had a good time but since you don't know how to use the internet  you will never meet my friend but I'm sure you will somehow learn enough of the internet to sell me something down the road I am sure of it and then maybe then we can revisit our date and try and work something out. I did enjoy all the different costumes you wore and all the family members I had to fight but to be honest it felt like I was fighting children who were telling me their weakness.  Don't bother sending me an angry response Shank with excuses about you being independent and that is why you can't help yourself we both know when I was dating Castle Crashers and we were just friends that she offered everything you did but she was exciting, never boring and yes she was a bit of a ho and let me and three other friends player her and she cost far less. I guess I shoulda put a ring on it. I waited a year to be with you and I can't believe how disappointed I am not angry with you just disappointed so lets take a break.... let's see other people and maybe if you come back a year from now a little bit more mature I'll give you another go. You can't get everything right the first time so please for me work on those things and maybe we can have a future together.
 

That's harsh. How's he taking it?

Wall of text.

I saw you complained about price per hour and stopped. 

"Don't bother sending me an angry response Shank with excuses about you being independent and that is why you can't help yourself we both know when I was dating Castle Crashers and we were just friends that she offered everything you did but she was exciting, never boring and yes she was a bit of a ho and let me and three other friends player her and she cost far less"

Castle Crashers was $15 when it was released and the online was downright unusable. I bought the game the day it came out and was quite done with it when they finally patched it, so I barely got to experience the co-op. On the single player side, Shank gave me more than Castle Crashers ever could.

I'm so sick of this dumb argument. Shitty DS games are like $25. Get some perspective. Suck it up. It's only $15 dollars for a good downloadable game. Sorry you've been spoiled on $10 games.

I agree..it looks great but the gameplay leaves a lot to be desired and i found it had very little charm to make up for it. 
The price question is entirely subjective however...it depends what you're looking for in a game. Personally I played the demo and left it at that.

The bigger issue here is that you think a $15 dinner date entitles you to first date sex.
 
Dude.

Remember when these games used to be free on Newgrounds? Those were good times.

It looked dumb and repetative

" Wall of text. "

Well arnt you funny.

MY EYES

" I saw you complained about price per hour and stopped.   

Well, since the beginning I planned to wait out until it gets to under 10 bucks, @Wes899 said:

" I saw you complained about price per hour and stopped.  "

Hahahaha. That was excellent man. Well said. Perhaps a block of text but it was good enough that I could get through it. Nice! :-P

" I'm so sick of this dumb argument. Shitty DS games are like $25. Get some perspective. Suck it up. It's only $15 dollars for a good downloadable game. Sorry you've been spoiled on $10 games. "

" @Wes899 said:

" I'm so sick of this dumb argument. Shitty DS games are like $25. Get some perspective. Suck it up. It's only $15 dollars for a good downloadable game. Sorry you've been spoiled on $10 games. "

No we were hit just right with $10 down-loadable games and like all normal sane thinking people we don't want to get ripped off on pricing.   $15 for a game that  lasts 3 hours is acceptable if its challenging enough to last 10, If it's 3 hours in one sitting it's ridiculous, even if it looks like the frickin Mona Lisa.  You're kidding yourself if you think otherwise. "

Scott Pilgrim was only $10!  It's really buggy and kind of boring but hey SWEET MUSIC PLUS IT'S SCOTT PILGRIM 
 
p.s. shank rules

Giant Bomb needs more threads like this instead of constantly bumping that stupid fucking "How do girls think a durrrr?" thread. 

" The bigger issue here is that you think a $15 dinner date entitles you to first date sex.  Dude. "

It is sad but at work I could read everything that written to me but I could not respond because Giantbomb does not work but I wanted to respond to everyone I could whether you are a big meanie or giving me a compliment.

First off sorry to everyone that I didn't break it up in a paragraph. I tried to go for a different look and the fact that I don't use puncuation properally as is the fact that it was that long I bet it was tedious to read. I did not think many people would see it.

@Wes899:
- You are kind of right.. I would be glad to pay another $20 more dollars for 4 more hours of gameplay =) so my real complaint is the game was only 3 hours long I was just bitter about spending $14.99 which because of my surgery is alot of money to me right now and I wish I could of spent that on something that would of lasted me a little longer. For an example for my next surgery I'll be out of work for three weeks and I need something to pass my time, I'd be bored as shit if I just bought Shank. However, your comment on saying DS games are $25.00 and they are worse... is just plain silly I don't buy those horrible games that is like me bitching about the price of a Big Mac and you are like "OH YEAH WELL HOME DEPOTS SALES NAILS!" :) It's a good point just doesn't make sense to me... $14.99 is practically free... :( I wish that was the case for me. I'm broke as hell lately. Someone already said it but they were correct that value isn't the same for everyone.

@heatDrive88:
How silly of me to expect good things from a game despite it's genre. I'm not mad I bought it. I'm glad to support the company and hope they come out with games that are similar I just hope they meet me half way on their next game. I am glad you were being fair though I was only slightly mad at you but now I like you again.

@zityz:
 - Thanks! If I could give you an award for the most inteligent reply you would win!

@Nadafinga:
 See folks this is a great response! Nada doesn't agree with me but can see the value of what I was trying to do. =) Though I disagree with your name being blue, I would be glad to be your friend!

@mdnytecartunr:
 LoL! Touche.... I can't even agure with that at all haha.

@Ahmad_Metallic:
@dudeglove:
=) Thank you I just wanted to add some humor and get some profile views.

@SpiralStairs:
 - I know what you mean! But at the same time I am glad that they are able to add more content and get paid for it to be honest. That is what I have been saying this whole time I don't really hate the game I just wish there was more to it and I truly hope they come out with more games like this.

@onarum:
- Lessoned learned sorry :( :(

 Seriously, I miss the $10.00 days I feel like an old grand pa saying that but it was only last year!! Think of it this way folks You buy two games at $30 now but last year it was 3 games Dun dun duuuuuuhhhh! Some games are worth it though. I didn't think Limbo was bad and my gf play the hell out of it so $15.00 was okay for me. I play the hell out of Hydro thunder and I'm okay with paying $15.00 but Shank.... I'm done with it I got nothing... I can't even trade it in for $4.00 at a videogame store... I'm stuck with it lol.

All in all I wrote this for fun. Thank you everyone for your feedback. 

" Well, since the beginning I planned to wait out until it gets to under 10 bucks, @Wes899 said:

" I saw you complained about price per hour and stopped.  "

I saw the lack of paragraphs and stopped. "

Brilliant!

Regardless of whether i agree or not..well done sir.
Quite entertaining.

This has been the most enjoyable review I've read on Giant Bomb.  Thanks, EightBitShik!!  

Yeah it's crazy! I go to sleep and he beats the game by the time I wake up... he sucks at games too.

Lol that was awesome :)

" I'm so sick of this dumb argument. Shitty DS games are like $25. Get some perspective. Suck it up. It's only $15 dollars for a good downloadable game. Sorry you've been spoiled on $10 games. "

I haven't played Shank, so I can't wade in whether I agree with you on that front or not; however, this was an entertaining as hell read, I thank you for that.

Very creative, but I completely disagree.

Oh my god this is amazing.

Had to force my self through the demo, so i'm happy i didn't buy it.

Castle Crashers combat is based around stats, not skill. An entirely different breed of game.
Of course that means in Shank there is repetition. So you can, like, you know, get better at it and stuff.  
If you play Shank for what it was made for, hard mode, and really take the time to learn it,  it's 10x as rewarding as mashing buttons and leveling up.