Seriously.

After travelling around Europe for a year, you finally make it back home. Instead of being greeted by everyone, you find out that your sister ransacked the entire place and ran off with her lover. Your Dad had his pee-pee touched by Uncle Oscar and nearly drank himself to death over his failures as a writer. Your Mom was having an affair with Ranger Rick because of Dad's negligence towards her. And now they're both away at some marriage counseling retreat.

So now your homecoming consists of an empty house, a bunch of secrets you probably didn't want to know about, no TV, no VCRs, no Super Nintendo, and nothing to eat but Tuna Dinner and Bran Flakes.

When's the next flight to Amsterdam?

I present to you the aftermath of Shepard's refusal to go along with the plans of the Catalyst.

And thus, realizing that they were on their way to destruction and had no chance to survive, they made their time. All their base were belong to the Reapers. All seemed lost. But....hope springs eternal.

Centuries later, a highly advanced race known as the Zig got signal from Dr. Liara T'soni. As the main screen turned on, the amount of knowledge contained within allowed them to know what they doing. Moved with new purpose, every Zig took off for great justice. Their mission: Destroy the Reapers, who were being led by the AI "Cats."

In a fierce battle amongst the stars, war was beginning. The Zig fought bravely, and were able to set up Reapers the bomb. In the end, every last Reaper was destroyed. Peace reigned in the galaxy at long last.

The Zig looked towards the future, thankful of the sacrifice of the one called "Shepard", that allowed them to achieve victory on their own terms.

Bioware = Recruit.

Fans = Drill Instructors.

Never in my years as a gamer have I seen so much hatred and animosity over a video game ending. It's frightening, in a way. I feel like I'm in the middle of a really nasty break-up, or something.

Anyway, I hope something gets worked out between Bioware and the fans. I don't know what, exactly, but anything's good at this point. I'm just worried about the children. : d

 In this paragraph, I discuss your favorite game, making sure to note just how popular and successful it's been. After stating that, I begin the process of explaining to you why your favorite game is actually quite terrible. 
 
 In this paragraph, I begin to construct my argument. I make note of something about the game that, while not necessarily bad, offends my sensibilities. Therefore, it's bad. Subsequent paragraphs continue this trend of pointing out things that also offend my sensibilities, therefore also making them bad. Mixed in with the various paragraphs about things that offend my sensibilities (aka bad things) are snippets of things that are actually bad in both design and execution. I won't spend too much time on these, however. 
 
The argument completed, I will then dedicate one final paragraph to slandering the name of your favorite game, and those responsible for it's creation. Then, I will release the document into the wilds of the Internet, ready to be read and discussed by the community at large. And by discussion, I am referring to profanity laced, condescending posts that attack various aspects of my personal character, such as intelligence, hygiene, and sexual preference. 
 
Many other arguments against your favorite game will be posted by other members of the community, usually in the manner described above. And usually met with the same responses as the first. This chain of events will eventually spawn discussions that mock such attempts at educating the ignorant masses, which will also be met with the same responses as the first. 
 
And thus, the Internet is sustained by the bitter tears and righteous anger of young men and women the world over. The circle is closed. The mission completed. All is right with the world. 
 
And your favorite game still sucks. n00b.