SpawnMan

After getting extremely bored with my first Minecraft world, now that I've picked it up on the Xbox 360, I opened up a new one. I was determined to leave the world as an open, friend-welcoming world where all could come and do whatever they like with it. My darker side has now taken over and I have crowned myself KING of the land, its protector and guardian for all time! *Trumpets*

This was mainly due to my friends creating hideously fugly houses and not finishing them and the fact that I'd actually built something I really love, but that a couple of my friends are griefers. Ah, I love that word... My first map was all underground, ala Fallout stylez. But eventually the constant digging and not being rewarded with an amazing sight from a mile away of a gigantic, glowing castle took its toll on me. So in my new world I began with a gleaming castle of delight. I carved out an island and made a gigantic tower. It is complete with a lava moat, a cactus moat, mushroom farm, nether portal, servant's quarters, a grand living room with a fireplace and balconies where you can shoot wild game from, a juke box and drums, and then of course the grand library, bedroom and over-ground farm. It's only accessible from a secret sea entrance (which is great when your friends try to destroy your place!). Doing it all on Normal mode definitely made it a fun challenge too.

There was one hiccup however; the update and the new autosave feature! My friend came in to check out the place and we were messing around, knowing we wouldn't save. One thing lead to another. Some parts of the castle were destroyed. Then BOOM autosave. FUUUUUUUUUUU! Needless to say I was mightily pissed and turned it off immediately after that. Repairs were made, but it took a while. -_-

Then things just started to roll in! The castle sits in the middle of a giant lake/sea, so the next was a pier. Then a fisherman's hut. Over to a new continent I founded the "East Indian Mining Company" on top of a large cavern system. Then in view of the castle, a grand arena. And just yesterday I completed a massive lighthouse and a community mine with fine goods traders and inspectors. Eventually I was out on the high seas with a boat, sailing around with a map. I felt like an ancient explorer, finding fertile lands and planning new sites for towns. So far Lanisport (the lake where I'm king of) is just one port and a collection of houses. But I've found a site further on for a new capital. I intend to found it and hold a public election for who will be king there. I should, naturally, win.

Then I have plans for a grand floating city, and later on, a sunken city beneath the waves. It's just so exciting! Eventually when I'm near completion, I'll install my friends as roles in my world. A few are excitedly waiting already! I've got some basic roles to fill - traders, jailers, court mages etc - but to fill that position they'll need to start as slaves and work in the mines for resources. Then if they're lucky, I'll grant them a house and a job. And if they're lucky, maybe they'll even be voted king/lord of their province and inherit a castle! I've even installed a trading system! 20 coal for 1 iron, 30 iron for 1 gold, 10 gold for 1 diamond.

Man I sound like a major nerd. But heck, I find the concept of having a working community exciting! Minecraft is exactly my kind of game. You work in the mines, you give 10% of your take to the mine inspector who gives half to the king. If you short change him, the sheriff hunts you down and locks you up. And if that doesn't work, a bounty is put up for the prisoner's return. *Giddy with excitement*

That was all probably boring to read, but I thought I'd just share how much fun I was having. Hope to see you on the battlements! :D

"Other than easy hits in web galleries" says Patrick, using a picture of booth babes for easy hits to an article that otherwise, would have maybe half the views! ;P

TBH who cares? This really is a form of sexism - why are you Americans sooo afraid of female sexuality? IT HAPPENS. People have sex. People have bodies. Don't act like you don't do it. There is nothing wrong with the human body or looking at it.

Well then you could argue, "But it's not juust the human body, it's also the fact they're doing it for promotion. Like prostitutes, selling their bodies to the night for nothing more than cold hard cash!!! :O" It's a job. Sure some of those girls will be smart and probably dislike the fact sweaty teenagers (or sweaty "uncles") drool over them. But there will also be a huge amount of girls who are thick. Not fat. But mentally dim (like a light bulb slowly going out as a moth constantly thumps into it). Their only asset is their body. They look damn hot! If you were good at baseball, like the best in TEH WORLD, would you go and do something else? No! You'd pimp that skill until you were dry! I've worked in both promotional jobs AND as a photographer working with models, and you've got to believe me when I say, some ladies do not have many other skills and that for standing around, it's GREAT money.

I have also done photojournalism on the ladies of the night - yes the REAL prostitutes - and you'd be surprised to hear that many of them love their job. They love the power it gives them over men, expressing their sexuality openly and the rewards it brings them. I can imagine these booth babes have the same feeling towards their work (or they would have left). I'm pretty sure the virgins in the crowd are too shy to ask them how they feel about their work - I mean has anyone actually asked one of these ladies how THEY feel?

Which brings me back to my opening statement - sexism. As if guys are doing this purely because they don't like the way other guys look at these ladies. We ALL do it. The only reason is because males have a hard time with these ladies being confident, out there, sexy, for all to see. Our medieval urges to slap on a chastity belt and take the ladder away from the tower come out to play and the it hurts us, in our balls, to see something we desire out there for all to see.

Does it mean we shouldn't be gentlemen? NO! Be a gentlemen. Stop gawking. Stop posting rude and offensive tweets about girls you don't know like they're a piece of meat. But stop acting like these girls are being pimped out and calling them sluts. Stop acting like they're doing something wrong. They're doing a job. They're selling a product. Maybe commerce should stop using sex to sell their goods? But that's NEVER going to happen. So in the meantime, give these girls a break and just enjoy the show! Your distracting from the games gaddamit!

@Little_Socrates: Yeah, I only got nuts on LIVE. ; )

@Eidderf: I paraphrased though - it was more than just killing me. He did it twice and stole my stuff. The lava did not succeed, so it was not too harmful.

But seriously, I know it's petty and I know it's just a game. We probably have ruined Minecraft for a raft of people, but I refuse to back down. The bigger man in this instance is the one holding your goods after he's TNT'd your ass to hell. If you've dealt with this guy you would know what I a horrible person he is. But it's not a "I choose to be mean" horrible, more of a "I'm faar too dumb to know I'm being a c*nt" horrible. Like a nagging gnat who will no f*ck off, and then when you brush him off, he gets angrier because he feel entitled to be mean without repercussion! And after he's bitten you, he will keep doing it. Over and over. Nothing is ever his fault. His cause. No, I fear I cannot back down to such a beast. At the very least, if I cannot best him, I will educate him on why he is a d*ck.

This war will not cease until that goal is complete.

P.S. I'm glad my misery and pain amuses you all. After all, that's what I'm here for. A cosmic joke to be the joy of people who cannot comprehend the pain I must endure simply to play a simply game of Minecraft with my friends. Had Tom not joined, I would still be happily producing works of art within the Minecraft multiverse, a productive and helpful member of society. But nay, now I must strap bombs to my body and sabotage bridges...

You heard it here first folks! Minecraft is slowly but surely becoming Minecraft: Modern Warfare Edition amongst my friends. It all began a month ago with the embedding of a pick axe in the back of a skull...

I hang out with some pretty cool guys online with Minecraft. I know it sounds like an oxymoron, but there you go. However, there is one kid no one truly likes. He's a bit of a c*nt. Okay, he's totally a c*nt. He's their friend in real life, while I'm only an online friend. As far as things go, I'm liked and respected between everyone. Except for this kid, who we shall name Tom for now. Why he is even their friend in real life is anyone's guess. He betrays people, ruins their creations, mutes strangers (myself included) and is a jealous little kid. No one hates this guy more than me. If he were to die in real life, I'd sleep a bit better. Cold and harsh though it may sound, Xbox LIVE is a large part of my life and he is seriously ruining it.

Now I'm sure you're asking "Minecraft? How can such a peaceful game be so divisive??". Beneath the guise of prancing sheep and colourful flowers, lies a darker turmoil. You're inviting trouble into your world whenever a friend joins. It's like falling back into someone's arms - you pray they don't break anything.

So one day I was mining along in a friend's world, possibly humming a tune. tom had just bought the game and was a total noob. He strolls in front of my pick axe. Instead of being a humble person and seeing it was an accident, he instead turns on me and kills me. Like an enraged toad, he is not entirely sure what he is angry at, but lashes out at the closest thing (me), a mindless drive to palm off blame and shirk self-responsibility. In turn I slay him with a sword. He drops about 3 stone pick axes. This in turn incites more retaliation as he apparently thinks stone pick axes are rare and hard to come by!

So I wait. Revenge is best served cold. After a few hours, him and my friend have been in their mine for hours. My friend returns to the surface with his stash, while Tom remains below with his. I launch my attack, trying to divert a lava flow into his tunnel. I fail and he once again kills me. I feign a truce through my friend and manage to sneak up behind Tom whilst he is trying to escape the deep cavern. It is then that I corner him and stab his bloated, fetid body with several blows from a pick axe. What drops is not too short of a treasure trove. Diamonds, gold pick axes, ingots, lazuli, obsidian, iron...

He tried to reach me, but I repel him once more. After this final kill, I run as deep and far as I can and dig. I build a chest, and I bury it. I do not mark the chest and I make sure it is very well hidden deep underground. I return to my home, Tom screaming he wants his stuff back. I tell him he stole my stuff so he's not getting his - if he wants it, he can go find it. Very childish and petty, but he started it, nyah nyah!

He then proceeds to destroy my house. Unwilling to budge, I watch as he destroys my home and everything in it. This trespass will not be forgotten. I try to sabotage the world by diverting a river into his house, but my friend gets annoyed and kicks us both from the game. Until next time...

Today was such a time. I entered another friend's world to see him cleaning up the remnants of thousands of cobblestones. I was told Tom had placed rivers of lava all over their houses and then water, petrifying the entire valley in stone. He refused to clean it up, so I helped my friend. For my work, he let me build a tower. A sh*t trade considering the clean up took little over an hour! But I built it none the less. All the way up to the stars. It was glorious. Tall, gleaming and bold in its design. But like the World Trade Centre, it was the pinnacle of human achievement, and thus, the target for terrorist attack. No sooner had I completed it had another player climbed to the top and raided my chests, stealing with wild abandon.

In retaliation, I not only stole his stuff, but I stole his chest. Retribution paid correct? Surely not he said! Tom reentered the world, despite being told he was banned. Immediately he sought a single reason to destroy my creations. The other player gave it to him when he said I'd stolen his chest. I returned from the forest to see Tom, my chest in hand, destroying the bottom of my tower. I pleaded with the host to kick him. But I was denied. And so began world war two...

I was lucky when Tom, like the blundering fool he undoubtedly is, fell from my tower and dashed himself against the ground. Out sprouted a whole raft of goodies. I gloated as I escaped gleefully with the loot, making sure he knew I was once again to bury this inventory as well. Far away, deep underground, I placed another chest, never to see the light of day again. I returned and saw that a kind of arms race had begun. At first iron swords, which I died several times to, then crude armour. Before long, we both had steel plate protection and carried swords of glinting metal. Across the tops of houses we battled. I had better equipment for once, and killed him again after he returned from mining. Diamonds and gold aplenty I took, but kept this bounty for my personal stash deep within my secret lair. Then I returned to find Tom had made diamond armour from the duplication glitch exploit. I was killed, my body falling lifelessly to the ground, my life blood sullied and pouring into the grass. This called for desperate measures.

Desperately, I searched for a trump card. I found it while raiding one of the player's rooms. TNT. Like a chemical warfare specialist, I tested the device on a lone hill. It made the hill not a hill. I was pleased. I gave Tom an ultimatum. Leave me walk in peace, or face a wrath unlike any other. He declined. To show a force of my power, I laid a block of TNT on the main bridge. He saw me and advanced. I had no choice but to destroy the bridge. In a dramatic explosion, the bridge was severed in two. He stood on the other side, his dim-witted mind contemplating what had transpired. I pitied his tiny peanut brain at that moment, for I knew he would die before I was through. Then... kicked. For simply rising to arms to avenge my needless murders, and despite my efforts to clean up the world after hurricane Tom swept through, I was removed from the game. I still have the TNT in my hand ready to go, but I fear I will never have a chance to use it...

So heed my story miners of all ages! If you are going to be playing with people, make sure you can trust them. Or at the very least, play on maps with them that you do not mind being destroyed. If you have no choice but to play with an assh*le, leave no weakness. Do not become attached to any dwelling or creation, for it will be used against you. Hide then deep underground and behind fake walls, traps and best of all, water. And if events do lead you to war, find their weakness, upgrade your arms and use any means necessary. Do not count on the host to always boot the other player.

This whole foray has of course left me jaded with Minecraft. I despise bullies and trolls. I hate unfairness. I never exceed the fair quota of revenge, but others enjoy dishing, but not eating, pain. What will happen next, I am uncertain. All I know is that Minecraft can be a dark, foreboding world with little escape from death and despair, so do not be fooled by the shiny blocks and happy tunes. There is malice in the caverns deep...

I'm not from America, so I waited for 18 hours extra to get this game (was already 9th here) and was checking, waiting for the very moment it was released on the marketplace. I probably helped make this game profitable in the first hour lmao. ;D

I'm happy for games which deserve it. NOT for rubbish like CoD which breaks a record for the same regurgitated crap every time. :C

Hey guys - thank you for all the support (well those of you that weren't being d*cks, but they were far and few between). Came back after a couple of days and was shocked to see hundreds of updates to read. I actually read all your comments and I'm thankful for being part of such an awesome community and bunch of people who can relate, empathize and give advice on what you're going through.

Just to clarify some things - yes this was genuine, no it wasn't for attention or any sort of "But you're awesome!" reassurance, no, people who do talk about suicide can just as easily do it as those who don't (if you've ever listened to actual therapists on the matter), but no, I haven't killed myself. Evidently. Unless they have good ISP connections in the afterlife.

Felt pretty low over a number of things. Looking back they don't seem so much now, and after doing some serious talking with a few people, I'm feeling a bunch better. It's good to know I've got people to rely on and talk to, even on the internet. Your comments all helped. : )

Much love - Spawn Man.

I do. Right now. Sick of fake friends. Sick of arguments. Sick of things never changing. Sick of rejection. Sick of LIFE.

No, not the magazine, but the shitty thing you're born into without your consent. You're forced to endure "life" with no manual and no purpose. There is no level of what is success, what is good, what is not. You don't grow horns if you are evil, and you don't have a halo if you are good. There are no rules and there is nothing you can rely on. You can live life just as much as anybody else, and yet still fail at it. There are no cheats in life. There is no quick glitch to boost you to a place where you want to be. Life is. And it doesn't care.

It doesn't care. People don't care. If I were to top myself right now, no one would give a damn in my life. People may be sad for a week, maybe two, but after that they'd carry on. Every year a caring soul might take the time to visit my lonely grave atop a weathered hill, and drop some flowers which will but wither in the unforgiving sun. But ultimately, alone.

So yeah. I'm sick of my life at the moment. The life I knew is gone. For good it seems. Every move I make seems to be futile and ineffectual. I see feather friends blow away before me. I've seen a pigeon's worth before, but still their jabs stab at my heart with each betrayal, with each let down. Jaded. Disillusioned. I feel like a drifter with no home and no safe haven.

I don't care what you reply. I gave up caring along time ago. I'm just sick of life and I'm sick of being sick with it. I can't run away from it. There's no escape. No escape from the perpetual let down that is this chamber of confinement. I can't stay. No, if I stay it will keep chipping away at my soul. Chip chip chip. I may be a potato the number of chips life has taken out of me. Even bad humour cannot lighten my spirits.

Maybe if I just shut myself away I will finally be ridded of these burdens. And there is always the other way...

If it's not on the console and the gameplay differs from Skyrim etc (IE, not some B.S. WoW replica and actually first person adventure!) then I do not want. Be the first developer to make a MMO on the console and do it well, and you will go down in legend.

@CptBedlam said:

@SpawnMan:

- you should've read the item description of the Firekeeper soul

Really? Thanks.... -_-

@p00rdevil said:

Lloyd's Talisman turns a mimic into a real chest? Will wonders never cease? I'll have to try that out sometime.

That's exactly why I love Dark Souls! There are so many hidden things which surprise you and are waiting for you to find. As for the mimic? Well the change isn't permanent - it's a chest but with its tongue sticking out and it's sleeping like a little bubba. After the talisman wears off, bubba is grumpy and wants some man flesh. Wear the gold serpent ring and try to be human to boost your chance of looting the helmet from it. The helmet is really cool - you get a tongue chest on your head. It drains health, but you get boosts to item discovery and soul amounts for killing enemies. And it gives some background to the chest people - they're like a cursed tribe or something which has to wear the chest on their head to show their sins.