I, like so many others, love lists. I want to make one. I was planning on doing it this week, and then Valve discovered the perfect way to get my entire income. Here is what I need to play for a few more hours before I can make a list (in no particular order): Alice: Madness Returns Rayman Origins Zelda: Skyward Sword Skyrim Battlefield 3 and my sister got Just Dance 3. I think that came out this year? It would be unfair to exclude anything. So, yeah. This list serves no other purpose than to remind my self.
All of us have encountered annoying game characters. Just about every game has at least one character who irks you more than any other. Sometimes the game's designer intends it, and other times they don't. Some are just so annoying, you just want to step into the game world and knock them cold. After playing many games for over a decade, I've come up the definitive list. It spans many games, from many consoles, over many generations. You have to dig deep to find so many annoying characters. I seriously want to punch all of these guys* in the face. * BoG is a gentleman, and does not punch ladies. Here we go:
5. Edward Chris von Muir
Before Edward Cullen was making us all cringe, this Edward was setting the standard for anoying Edwards. He is better known as the "spoony bard" from Final Fantasy IV. Edward deserves a smack. He whines, then he whines some more. His combat specialty? Hiding. Seriously, Edward, you suck.
4. Zell Dincht
This one is very appropriate, because Zell fights with his fists. It's about time somebody gave him a taste of his own medicine. Zell is the lamest jock character ever created. Zell, you suck.
3. Vaan
Final Fantasy XII's main character is a really annoying twerp. He's so lame, that Sqaure seems to have abandoned him very early in the game, in spite of his leading role. All he does is whine about how he wants to be something more than he is. You are NOT Captain Basch Fon Ronsenberg of Dalmasca. I hope Basch punches you. Vaan, you suck.
2. Tidus
Tidus is a professional athlete. People admire him for his Blitzball skills, but he's even better at crying. He has a reputation for being a cry baby. He needs someone to hit him really hard. Tidus, you suck.
1. Snow Villiers
Snow, you suck. Snow is not only the character I most want to punch, but also the character that has made me vomit most due to his massive amounts of cheesiness. Snow, you suck.
If you all remember, not too long ago I met Jenna thanks to a GiantBomb banner ad. We had a lot in common. Unfortunately for her, I'm moving on to much better things. Once again, my fortune is all thanks to banner ads on a website. This time, it's Facebook. I had never taken the Facebook dating ads seriously. I mean, look a what we have:
Not interested. Next, Facebook began matching the ads to me. Cute, but totally not a Mormon girl. Today, They got me. Heidi and I are officially an item. In your face, Seal! I owe it all to internet advertisements. 20 Comments
I am a terrible artist. I have this running joke with a friend, and need a neat photoshop ad. The person who makes me the most stellar advertisement for Cash4Magnesium will receive the Voxatron HIB. Go get 'em, boys.
I've wanted to start blogging more often for a while now, but have lacked direction. A blog without a purpose is boring, especially when whoever writes it doesn't write well. I've had a revelation in my search for blogging purpose: indie games. Lately, I find my gaming time dedicated exclusively to indie stuff (and TF2, and Final Fantasy, and Professor Layton. Whatever). I've posted a few topics about gems I've discovered, and nobody has replied! Duders' interest in indie stuff seems to be pretty low. As there are so many amazing indie games out there worth our attention, I decided to dedicate my blog to indie game awareness. It's not as noble a cause as spreading any other kind of awareness, but it's way more fun (not to mention relevant to this website).
My plan is to blog at least on a weekly basis, highlighting old and new indie titles. The content will mostly be free PC titles, as these are the most accessible to our community. If console titles or shareware really impress me, I'll highlight those, too. Do note that this is an entirely subjective blog, and I'll really only mention stuff that I like. Expect a lot of games with old-school flavor. Also, I'm not big into browser games, so you won't see many of those.
So, let's kick this thing off! I've picked some of my favorites for the flagship blog:
Jumper 3
Jumper 3 is a very simple, highly challenging platformer game. When you first start it up, you're probably going to think "this game is a total rip-off of Super Meat Boy." When I first played Super Meat Boy, my initial thought was "This game is a total rip-off of Jumper!" They're remarkably similar, but Jumper came first. Actually, the main character in Jumper, Ogmo, is playable in SMB.
I've been following Matt Thorson's development since the very beginning (we used to chat all the time on MSN messanger) and am a huge fan of his work. Jumper 3 is my personal favorite title in his catalogue. Check it out!
Shoot First
Shoot First is an action roguelike developed by Teknopants. In traditional roguelike fashion, you descend floor by floor in a randomly generated dungeon. What I really love about Shoot First is the amount of variety. Every time I play, I come across a new enemy or weapon. There are tons of point-earning objectives unique to each playthrough. For example, sometimes you're given someone to escort to a staircase to escape the dungeon. Making things even more fun, the game can be played cooperatively. Playing a roguelike with a friend really mixes up the experience. Also worth mentioning are the online leaderboards, and killer music.
If you've been playing The Binding of Isaac, you will really enjoy this game. It's not as fast paced, but it has all the action roguelike fun and challenge of that game. Oh, and it's free.
Warning: Super Crate Box is very addictive. The game is a very fast, arcade style shooter. The entire game takes place on one small screen, and your object is to collect weapon crates. Each one will give you a new weapon. As you do this, enemies will constantly spawn at the top of the screen, and move down to the bottom. If they make it to the bottom, they'll respawn at the top, faster and angrier. The concept is a bit complex, but once you get playing, it is incredibly simple. I really love how fast paced and rantic the game can get, and highly recommend this one to everybody.
And finally, an "Indiessential" (I totally made that up, so proud of my self:
Cave Story
A classic indie title. If you haven't played it, you have absolutely no excuse. It's free for PC and Mac, or available over WiiWare. Just play it.
Cave Story is an action-platformer that has light Metroidvania elements. It has beautiful artwork, great music, and, most importantly, awesome gameplay. Cave Story is a classic.
Thanks for reading! I do apologize for my lack of writing skill; that's part of my motivation for starting this blog, to get my self regularly writing. I hope to improve the quality of my blog with time and practice.
If you have any tips about anything, especially games I should look into, shoot me a PM!
I've been a fan of the Final Fantasy franchise for as long as I can remember. Honestly, the fascination with the franchise in my younger years was poorly founded. I was wrapped up in the series' reputation more than anything. I had limited play time with a few of the games, yet I thought the games were just soooo cool. The first game I really put time into was Final Fantasy X. I bought it the month it came out, and played it to about 3/4 completion before I decided I hated it. By the time I finished middle school, I had played all of the games from VI on to about the halfway point. Around 10 hours in, I got bored, and just stopped playing.
My junior year of High School, a friend and I were talking about the series. He brought up the ending of one of the games, and I stopped him. I didn't want it spoiled, I hadn't finished the game! He apologized, and asked me which games I had finished. I was embarrassed to answer that I'd completed none of them. It was then that I set a goal: beat every game in the series.
At the time, I had just purchased FFIV for the GBA, and had just stopped playing FFXII about halfway through, as usual. I began with FFIV, and played it through, finally beating it on my 17th birthday. Next, I finished XII. I decided the experience would be best if I started fresh in the other games. I bought a copy of FFVI on the GBA, and played it to completion (prior to that, I had played the game to the World of Ruin twice). Next up, FFIX, then VII, followed by V. Finally, I played VIII, which ended my marathon. I got about as far as I had before, to the point where the story goes bonkers with all that orphanage crap. Stupid game killed my drive.
I did eventually finish VIII, a game which I both love and hate. Unfortunately, I never finished my goal. I've decided that it is time. I'm going to work backwards, playing through every entry in the series that I haven't finished. I'll begin with XIII, move on to X (Which I said I would never play again when I set the goal so many years ago), then III, II (the only FF game I've never played), and finally, the original. I'm not counting XI and XIV because F#%! those games.
So, wish me luck. It will be tough. I played the first hour of X just to do it, and boy do I hate Tidus. He's going to make that game torture. I'm going to buy Dawn of Souls on the GBA as a part of this, because I don't own the first or second games. I own III on DS.
On Saturday morning I stumbled upon a fresh $10 bill laying in the dirt. Being impossible for me to know who the original owner was, I kept it. Today, I rediscovered this bill, and decided to treat my self. I was going to get a Jamba Juice on campus, but decided to wait until after school to make a stop at Chipotle for a tortilla near-bursting with delicious. While enjoying my burrito, I read what Chipotle had printed on their bag: A letter to Chipotle from our good planet, Earth. Earth isn't the most vocal dude, so his writing to a restaurant chain is a pretty big deal. The letter reads:
"Dear Chipotle, THANKS for keeping me in mind as you go about your business. People seem to just forget I'm around once in a while which is weird considering I weigh about 6,000,000,000,000,000,000 metric tons I would be easier for you to just build the cheapest restaurant possible. But by making strides to save energy you're helping me out a ton. By the way nice job with the wind turbine on the Gurnee, IL store. Loving that. So, thanks Chipotle. Keep it real. -earth p.s. I love your guac."
I did not change punctuation and the emphasis in my quote are found on the bag (kind of).
Now, Chipotle took all of this as positive, which is why it is found on the bag. However, Earth's message is a bit ambiguous. I don't think the Earth intended to compliment. In fact, the letter is laced with sarcasm. Earth never uses a serious tone, something I'd expect from a 6,000* year old object. One instance that stands out the most is when Earth thanks Chipotle for helping him "out a ton." The use of the word "ton" is of particular interest. Earlier in the letter, Earth states his weight, 6,000,000,000,000,000,000 metric tons. These tons stand in contrast to one antoher. Earth is mocking Chipotle, 1 single ton is nothing compared to 6,000,000,000,000,000,000. This is clearly a sarcastic remark meant to belittle Chipotle's efforts. Next, Earth comments on a restaurant in Gurnee, IL, saying "Nice job with the wind turbine." One might see this as a compliment, until they see the store:
That thing is ugly. Once more, the Earth mocks Chipotle. I could go on about the clear purpose of Earth's letter, as it is filled with evidences. I'm shocked that Chipotle printed this on their bag. How could they be so dumb as to misinterpret the letter? Oh well. I still like their burritos.
*I was going to put 4.5 Billion, but trolling is more fun.
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