As someone who had Ashley as a romance option my first playthrough, (I also went with a very pro Human bias backstory, with paragon choices) her romance options in the first game feel very much like a fun fling and not serious. As my Shepard started to open up to aliens and other races, she ended up getting passed off as romance option in later games.
But I will say I don't think they do a particularly good job "redeeming" Ashley even when you do try to calm down her tendencies. The issue with her is far more than just a few lines of dialogue, although the "aliens and animals look alike" comment is pretty bad. It's more that we are presented with a huge Citadel of collective aliens all living together in the millions and instead of trying to ask questions and learn things, all Ash is ever concerned about is the human perspective. Hell the human perspective is probably not even a fair point. In 3, she's so pro Alliance that anybody who remotely resembles anyone that isn't she is weary of. You can tell that if it were up to Ash, the Humans wouldn't be seeking a spot on a council of Alien races. She'd want to build her own Citadel, that was Alliance/Human run.
She isn't necessarily irredeemable, but she's the type of "bigot" that hides in plain sight. She understands that "officially" the stance from the Alliance re alien relations is one of peace and understanding. So she minds her tongue in official situations. The moment she can freely speak, she let's it be known where her thoughts stand. Even as you push her away from that in 1 and in 3, her focus is very much a "humanity first" priority.
Just speaking in terms of how fair it is that she gets the treatment she does from the community versus other characters, I'll just speak to Garruss since he was the other companion I put the most time into. Garrus is a killer, and does have some "authoritarian" slants. But isn't killing people just because he wants to. In a world of connected society and Citadels and millions of races, Garrus finds that the red tape and bureaucracy surrounding his job makes it hard for him to do what he wants to do. It's not like Garrus has "no code." He's basically space Batman. He has a code, it's just it's his own and he is happy to be working with a Specter which allows him more freedom to be able to investigate problems and actually solve them instead of always pass them up the chain. Remember how 1 opens? Saren, a rogue Specter is given the benefit of the doubt despite Garrus and C-Sec having more dirt on him? Literally the red-tape stuff he's talking about.
I'd argue though the biggest reason the other characters, even the flawed ones, are more interesting/redeemable is that they don't endlessly embody their negative character traits the way Ash does. Ash doesn't like non humans, focuses almost all her side dialogue on either the human perspective or her war/hero stories that are her "reasons" for her pro human slant. Tali has that huge problem with the Geth for example, but even she listens to criticisms about it with an open mind. So many of the other NPC's spend their entire time with Shepard using his questions as learning opportunities to learn more about other races, the Alliance, Shepard, etc. Ash? Rarely, if ever. She's more concerned about telilng us we can't trust X.
Using the argument that she can't just be anti-alien because well she also wouldn't trust Jack from 2 for example I don't buy either. Jack is a non alliance human who was experimented on. She's basically the closest you get to an x-men analogy in the game. It's not just a pro human slant Ash has, it's pro Alliance. She also has a fear of bioethics. Which again, tied into the idea that it's "non human" stuff. She is even weary of Kaiden at points in the first game, and he is alliance. But again biotic who was experimented on. Ash also hates Cerebrus too in 2.
Like seriously, even if you explore her Ash as a character is just "reason to not trust/hate something" over and over and over. Starts with aliens, moves to Cerebrus, biotics, the list goes on. The moment you the player stop playing as "Mostly Pro Human Alliance Military Hero" she becomes absolutely unbearable and none of her dialogue ever pushes her out of those waters. You can have conversations with her, but you never change her stance and she never seems to end up enlightened seeking answers to things she clearly doesn't understand from the moment you meet her.
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