If you were an inanimate object what would you be and why?

I would be a shoe, I don't have time to explain it right now.

I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)

You're already a figurative dildo.

A giant lamp so I could light up the world!

A Cucumber

An old school rotary phone, I don't have time to explain it right now.

Companion Cube because I would never threaten to stab you.

A stripper pole, i don't have time to explain it right now.

A life size cow made entirely out of hamburger.

A post-it that says i don't have time to explain it right now. I don't have time to explain it right now

When will you guys be able to explain those things, because I'm kind of curious?

"I'd be fossil.. I've loads of time to explain :D. People would always be looking for me and when found me I'd be the center of attention and I'd be put in a museum where everyone would stare. Only messing, I'm not shallow. I'd probably be a brick...
"

I would be an animal cracker. Don't have time to expla- *runs away

"I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)
"

I would be an exploding barrel, I don't have time to explain it right now.



Btw, can we finally add "I don't have time to explain it right now." into the first of Giant Bomb's community inside jokes?

"I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)
"

"I would be an exploding barrel, I don't have time to explain it right now.



Btw, can we finally add "I don't have time to explain it right now." into the first of Giant Bomb's community inside jokes?
"

A lamp because lamps are awesome.

You can't be a lamp, somebody else is already being a lamp.

A rechargeable battery, because I like to turn things on.

Hiyo.

Are cats inanimate objects? I want to be a cat.

Cats are only really considered inanimate objects in the land of idiots.

Okay then I would be a potato, it's been one of my life goals to be a potato.

I would be a wall, I really do not know why either...I am a truly strange person.

"I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)
"

A statue. One of those that lasts a long time that are made out of solid stone or marble or somthing

speakers, hopefully to someone with good music taste D:

probably a door, i dont know why

"I would be a wall, I really do not know why either...I am a truly strange person.
"

I think this thread is unfair to the inanimate objects. You should at least ask them what they would be if they were animate, but you don't even bother to care about how they feel.

I refuse to support your unjust ways.

A planet.

Don't open my thread to Uranus humor.

The weird like paper holder thing on pen lids.

I guess I just like to help people.

a pokedex...so i would know all boutz teh pokemanz-_-

Stripper Pole or sex toy...

Although i suppose it would be torture.

"Don't open my thread to Uranus humor."

I'd be an internet.

First thing that came to mind was a dildo, but that could be pretty risky.

An Inanimate Object? I would be Hayden Christensen. ZING!

A lighter, because there is one on my desk and he looks lonely.

"The weird like paper holder thing on pen lids.

I guess I just like to help people.
"

"Companion Cube because I would never threaten to stab you.
"

....wait... when you become the inanimate object would it become animated? or would it stay inatimate? 

"....wait... when you become the inanimate object would it become animated? or would it stay inatimate? 

i dont think i would ever want to be inanimate... but if it were to animate, i would be....

a puppet....

"

i would be a huge speaker :p

"....wait... when you become the inanimate object would it become animated? or would it stay inatimate? 

i dont think i would ever want to be inanimate... but if it were to animate, i would be....

a puppet....

"

ReTarDedFisHy would be... a Giant Bomb.
'nuff said.

I'd be CANDLEJACK because he will nev