Knife worms are the best way to fish melee weapons out of a lake.

I learned that I want to buy an Xbox 360 just to play this game, regardless of its quality. Hell, I might just import the PS3 version. I need this game.

I learned that driving behind another car while blasting a siren can inexplicably alert them to your presence.  Who knew?

It's not the cops fault, he didn't string her up.

I learned that 35 dollars and 56 cents will get you a pack of crackers
 
I learned that a car wash is perfect for getting the car washed

how to smile like a weirdo..

That if you're wielding a shovel, you should try and hold it in a way where it won't obscure your view
 
It's legal to barge into people's houses, but not into any room except the one you enter into without a search warrant

That Vinny could probably get lost in a phone booth.

You kan make great delicious tea out of red seeds!

going 55-60 mph using the cop cars sirens freaks you out as opposed to using a sports car going 90 in which you're perfectly chill
 
shot guns have to charge up just like plasma cannons, which they are taking 50-100% of your health
 
Zombies teleport, eff it
 
We're trying to make a scary movie, lets put the andy griffin theme song on it wait what
 
Flame thrower, does less damage than bullets, and causes zombies to get VERY angry
 
resident metal heads give you the best weapons, duh
 
hey zach remember that time when
 
no matter how many rounds you shoot randomly into the air or towards someones feet or in there general direction, nothing compares to aiming at them by accident and not shooting
 
laser sights disappear when you shoot, duh
 
arrive in 2 door sports car start level in cop car, everyone inside
 
1min in game = 20s irl, therefor wanna wait 2 hrs enjoy your 40 mins doing NOTHING if you have no side quests better get the unlimited smg and shoot nothing with no shells
 
horses gone from the farm duh bring out the giant creepy dogs
 
go into building at noon scary crap, come out nothing, stand outside same building til 2am HOLY ZOMBIES
 
wait your 40 mins, do something wrong mess up mission? Enjoy waiting 24 hrs cause you cant replay times
 
sooo many more things lol

Drinking a cocktail is the equilivent of taking a 6 hour nap.
 
You can buy  $500 suits at a food store.
 
It costs $14.99 to have saliva smeared on your windshield.
 
Thomas likes to DANCE.

• You can't move when you aim.
• Apparently, a standard FBI-issued submachine gun magazine can hold 180 bullets - more than that of a drum magazine!
• FBI agents gets paid for getting shaves.
• Francis York Morgan. You have finally arrived. You are welcomed inside.
  
• You can fish for gift certificates for bullets in the water.
• People in greenvale are incredibly absent-minded. Always show them your badge if you're a federal agent, because they'll always forget. At least Francis York Morgan thought so.
• It's okay for federal agents to street race illegally without permission from supervisors.
• You get to report to your superiors in another state using a typewriter, not a laptop. This spawns a theory of typewriters is actually a much more complicated device than we initially thought - it can send messages through (possibly) electronic signals..
  
• Driving while smoking, using a laptop and talking to oneself is safe.
• FBI personally customizes weapons for its agents, although they bear no differences from those used by Greenvale police officers. (You'll see it later in the game. Emily's gun is the 9mm Sheriff Special or something like that.)
• Seeds can grow in extremely acidic mediums like the stomach, which contains high conecntration of hydrochloric acid. Hydrochloric acids in high concentrations can cause severe skin burns, for your information.
• Picking up three pieces of evidence can immediately help a federal agent figure out how the crime occured. No wonder why we paid heavy taxes. It seemed they put them to good use - by giving federal agents appropriate trainings.
• There are always cop cars parked around Greenvale, although there aren't that many cops.

• David Bowie shows up where you least expect it.

• Never let Brad controll a endurance run or any otehr game  ever again.
  

Thing I've learned: That I've been to Greenvale in real life, in fact, I was there last Saturday. I've never watched Twin Peaks but viewing the wikipedia article tells me that it was shot in North Bend, Washington.
 

" Thing I've learned: That I've been to Greenvale in real life, in fact, I was there last Saturday. I've never watched Twin Peaks but viewing the wikipedia article tells me that it was shot in North Bend, Washington.
 

Never forget to STICK INTO.

You can total your car, then pay a cop hating guy to spit on it and in an instant, your car is like new.

 Don't check the old photo that explains everything until at the end of the game when everyone's already dead. 
People born with silver hair still grow dark brown beards.

It is perfectly acceptable to portray rape, suicide, and child abuse in the same cutscene.

A bent cigarette is a bad cigarette.

" how to smile like a weirdo.. "

Your choice of lunch may be dictated by your subconscious seeking atonement for sins.

*And they say more is never enough, especially when it comes to human organs.
* Hot bar singers can't sing in English when they're on stage.  It's a Greenvale law.
*Life is beautiful.  Even more so when kazoos are involved.

Cop cars go faster with the siren on

Deputy Willie is one tough chap!